


Uncommon Bonds

by Tayg



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-27
Updated: 2012-12-19
Packaged: 2017-11-08 16:58:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 121,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/445435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tayg/pseuds/Tayg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU/Rated M/ FemShep-Liara. Follow the story of a young mercenary hired to protect the daughter of an Asari Matriarch while falling in love and dealing with their pasts. Will not follow standard ME storylines. Romance/Comfort/Angst/Fluff</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Bioware owns all. Strictly for personal amusement. 
> 
> Rated: M for language and sexual content
> 
> Pairing: FemShep/Liara
> 
> I started this project because I was annoyed at the ME3 ending just as everyone else. A writing teacher in college once told me a great way to generate ideas was to play the “what if” game. So, instead of doing a fix-it, I opted for a different reality full of “what ifs”.
> 
> While this story is based in the ME universe and will seem familiar, there will be some artistic license taken with setting, characters, personalities, and their ages.

The first chapter title is courtesy of the wonderful Sarah McLachlan.

Chapter 1 – Into the Fire

Omega – Aria T’Loak’s Office

Aria T’Loak was more smitten with herself than usual today and that was a rarity. She was the undisputed Queen of Omega which was not bad considering she started her life there at the club she now owns, shaking her ass with the other Asari maidens. A few carefully plotted murders turned the tide in her favor and now she commanded power and respect even if the majority was out of fear. At first everyone underestimated her fortune as dumb luck. Being the mistress of manipulation that she was, she played along with their ignorance until they succumbed to her will through their own realization or death. Her reputation for discretion and results now garnered dealings with some of the most prominent and respected members of every species. And today Aria was going all in with one of her most valuable assets.

The door to her office opened and a slender young human strutted inside. She carried herself with an air of self-assuredness bordering on arrogance at times. “Shepard, prompt as usual. Help yourself to a drink. There should be some left unless you finished it the last time you were here. No one else drinks that but you,” said Aria as she leaned back in her chair preparing for the show.

Shepard walked over and poured herself some Thessian fruit juice into a chilled glass. She closed her eyes as she always did during the first sip and enjoyed the moment as the sweetness stimulated her tongue and ran down her throat.

“Do you have to do that every time? You look like you are about to come when you drink that shit. I swear you do it on purpose.” Shepard ignored her. “And you still wonder why I want to get between your legs.” Aria was both frustrated and amused but she always made sure she had the beverage available. 

“You didn’t bring me here to hit on me in that outfit did you?” Shepard shot back at her. She was feeling unusually feisty today for some reason. Aria’s advances had become so frequent over the years, it no longer fazed her. 

“I have a proposition for you, Shepard. You have a little more than 16 months left on our contract. I’ve been approached by someone looking for a person of your expertise and standards, though I have done my best to corrupt you.” She shook her head in mild annoyance. “They need to hire a so-called babysitter for one year. Relax, she would only be considered young by Asari standards, no diapers. I won’t lie to you though, it will be boring as shit. But it pays well, you get to see the galaxy, and your debt is clear with me.”

Shepard’s eyebrows furrowed. “What’s the catch? No way you just give me up like that.”

“See that’s why you are the only one for the job. You’re smart and you’re my best. You have already made me more than double the creds owed on your contract. You hid and secured my accounts. You are loyal and you always get the job done right.” Truth be told, Aria would not have given up her protégé under any other circumstance. She liked Shepard as much as Aria could like anyone despite the human possessing some sort of moral compass. “A very influential Matriarch wants you to keep an eye on her daughter. She agreed to finance the kid’s little scholarly expeditions in exchange for a bodyguard. That’s where you come in Shepard. I get a lot of credits now and I get to trade in the one favor you owe me for multiples down the road.” She had prior dealings with the Matriarch and knew the power she wielded as well as the measure of her word. Aria needed to make this deal happen, so she made the one offer Shepard would never refuse, her freedom. 

Shepard momentarily closed her eyes drifting into a memory from a little less than four years ago when Aria walked into her holding cell at Chicago lockup back on Earth. Shepard was an elite hacker even then at the age of 18, great with as gun, and Aria desired her skills. The fact that she was young would make her easy to mold, or so Aria thought. Two hours later, they walked out together after the charges were dropped on a mysterious technicality. Shepard may not be in jail, but she was serving her sentence to Aria in exchange for her freedom. “And my favor to you is wiped clear too?” she asked.

Aria just nodded, trying to hold back the smugness she felt, knowing Shepard was doing exactly what she needed her to do.

“Okay I will do it” the human replied while standing up and heading over to the bar to put her empty glass down.

“Not so fast. If it was as easy as me selling your talents, we’d already be celebrating with a couple of dancers for your bon voyage.” Shepard just raised an eyebrow at her in response. “The Matriarch wants to meet you. She’s waiting in the other room.”

“Well at least it explains why you aren’t showing off your tits.” Shepard took a deep breath. “Send her in, Aria, let’s get this over.”

Aria looked at her seriously for once, “Don’t fuck with her, Jaye. You have no idea how cunning Asari Matriarchs can be.” She paused for a moment. “Just sell it like you’re from Noveria. This can be beneficial for both of us.” She then reached for her omni-tool and hoped for the best.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard stood facing the rear entrance with her arms clasped behind her back. This could be her ticket off the cesspool that was Omega with a clean slate and she wanted to make damn sure she did not fuck it up. As the Asari entered the room and met her eyes, Shepard tilted her chin slightly to the side then bowed her head in a show of respect, keeping her eyes closed until she finished the gesture.

Aria took the lead and introduced her guest. “Shepard this is Matriarch Benezia T’Soni. Matriarch, may I present Jaye Shepard, the one I believe can fulfill your request.” It still amazed Shepard how Aria can go from acting and sounding like a two-credit hooker to a diplomat in the blink of an eye. It was something she emulated from day one of their relationship. 

The Asari elder stared intently at Shepard who matched her gaze. “That is yet to be established Mistress T’Loak. Sit down child. There is much to discuss.” 

Shepard slightly nodded but kept eye contact as much as possible as she sat down. She was not sure if she had read something on the extranet about dealing with Asari Matriarchs or if her instincts had kicked in, but acting intimidated was not an option.

Benezia positioned herself directly in front of Shepard leaning against Aria’s desk while encompassing most of her line of vision. She was making sure this was to be a true interview without any possible coaching. Her face looked, well matriarchal with lines showing centuries of aging. For all the clothing Aria decided to wear today, Benezia did not. Maybe she would suggest to Aria later on to order something similar for the dancers in Afterlife. 

“Let me get to the point. My daughter is a scientist and wishes me to fund her science expeditions. As accomplished as she is with biotics and weapons, she is naive of the dangers that her travels will no doubt uncover while she digs in the dirt. I am willing to let her pursue this rebellion and even fund it until she gets this silliness out of her system and is ready to begin training as my heir. She is my only daughter and I wish to make sure she lives to see that day. I have read your qualifications and we would not be here unless they were … satisfactory. So tell me child, are you the one I should entrust my daughters safety to?’

“Knowing you read my … qualifications, you may have noticed that even though I am considered young by even human standards, my experience is hardly that of a _child_.” Shepard’s heart was racing as the challenging words escaped her lips accompanied by a very level but amiable tone. She swore she saw a momentary crack in the Matriarch’s face and continued. “I assure you, I learned more about survival before the age of 16 than most do in a lifetime, human or _otherwise_.”

Benezia’s weight shifted back slightly yet her face remained stoic. “And if I asked you from time to time to update me, as your employer, on my daughter’s status and experiences, what would you say?”

“No. Loyalty can not be split. If you want me to protect your daughter, then I only answer to her,” Shepard fired off without hesitation. 

Benezia reflected the pace, beginning a quick exchange between the two. “And your loyalty to Aria? You have worked with her for years.”

“Once again I return to the information you obviously studied, my loyalty is unblemished. If we decide to pursue this contract, I will no longer work for Aria.”

“And after the one year is up, will you then provide me a full report?”

“No, whatever I see and hear stays with me.” After a near encounter with jail time and numerous hacking jobs for Aria, Shepard quickly learned the necessity of encrypting information even from herself.

“All mercenaries say the same thing and yet they all seem to have a price. What is yours?”

Shepard’s cockiness came shining through, “I am one of the best hackers you will ever find. I have unlimited credits and luxuries at the tips of my fingers just ready to take. I don’t need others to provide that for me.”

“So what _does_ drive you, Shepard?” The use of her actual name was not lost on the human.

“One day a powerful Matriarch and her daughter will remember who delivered on her promise.” 

Benezia looked over Shepard’s head and clapped her hands together, actually laughing. “Aria, you have taught this one well. No wonder you are asking me for such a high price for her services. But alas she has some manners. She did not demand favors like you, she only asked.”

Shepard spoke up immediately. “Excuse me but with all due respect,” _I do miss you Ash_ , “Aria’s way is her own, and it suits her. I do not ask nor do I demand favors for a later date. However I know you will provide them, because I will earn it.” 

“Indeed,” replied Benezia as she nodded her head ever so slightly. “Fear not Shepard, my daughter is nothing like me. She is a sweet girl who is obsessed with history and archeology. I need you because she sometimes gets so focused she does not see the big picture. She has spent much of her maiden years in isolation and what little interaction she has had, has been with her own species. Please do not hold that against her. 

“You are to meet her tomorrow afternoon and begin your one year commitment; Aria will provide you with the details. She has also provided me with your account number and you will receive a generous fee each week and an immediate bonus to get started for your, as you humans say, spunk. After the one year is up, we shall speak again.” She held out her hand as a gesture to the human who stood and shook it, still meeting her gaze. “It has been a pleasure, Shepard” and with a nod to Aria, the Matriarch walked out.

Shepard turned around and leaned back against the desk, pleased at the results of the meeting. Aria just stood there looking at the girl in stunned silence for a few seconds before finally speaking. “Nice Krogan balls, Shepard. What the _fuck_ was that?”


	2. Chapter 2

Title courtesy of Depeche Mode.

Chapter 2 – World in my eyes

Omega 

Liara T’Soni turned off the recording after listening to it for the third time. _This is certainly not who I expected especially after Benezia offered an entire squad of Asari commandos_. Liara expected her mother to deliver a matriarch lapdog who would report her daughters every move. She really has no idea what I am about to do. She watched the time pass and with precise punctuality, the chime on her door sounded. “Come” she said with a strong steady voice as she kept her back to the doorway. _I need to be sure._ She heard the door close and the voice she had been so intently listening to moments ago spoke. _Hmm, I wonder if Benezia chose a human on purpose in an attempt to disarm me_.

“Jaye Shepard, reporting for duty … ma’am.”

Liara smiled as she realized the formal human greeting that her new bodyguard used. _She is unsure how to address me_. “My apologies for the false impression you received about simplicity of this position and the target of your protection. I assure you neither characterization is accurate.” She was carrying herself like the daughter of a matriarch should. _And Benezia thought I was not paying attention all these years_. “I earned the title doctor at the University and expect to be addressed as such in most instances,” she said as she turned around to finally face Shepard. 

The next moment seemed to last much longer than the microsecond that actually passed. This was not who she expected to be as the source of the voice that held her own against Benezia T’Soni. She was small framed and slightly shorter than Liara with wavy jet black hair slicked behind her ears and eyes that were a shade of blue rare outside of her own species. Her skin was on the lighter side and flawless except for a tiny scar on her chin. She did not have the beauty one often associated with an Asari or found in human porn, but she had a rugged look that just oozed sex appeal. Her tone and approach changed within that microsecond. “You however can call me Liara” and she smiled. As she sat down, she motioned to the chair on the opposite side of the desk and continued while trying to sound less domineering than she was before. “How do you prefer to be addressed?”

Shepard’s face did not betray any her emotions. Little did she know, Liara was empathic. Like her mother and the famous consort on the Citadel, she can sense emotional responses in most races. She hid the extent of her skill from her mother of course. The young Asari also lacked experience in dealing with other races but according to her studies, most humans were simple to interpret. 

“You can call me Shepard, ma’am … Liara,” and she nodded her head while softening her posture as she took a seat. 

Liara sensed a mixture of surprise and confusion radiating from her new protector. _I am not what she expected either. At least now I know the recording was not staged for my benefit._ “Since you were given an inaccurate mission statement, it is only fair that I give you the chance to understand the reality of your commitment and the opportunity to decline if you truly were only looking forward to watching over my … silly rebellion.” Liara knew Shepard would not back out or the offer would have never been tenured. If her instincts were correct and they usually were, this human would be the perfect asset on her mission. She noticed a smile forming on Shepard’s lips. _Goddess this physical response is certainly unexpected_. 

“So did it cost you a lot to obtain a recording of the meeting I had with your mother? Or just a favor?” Her voice only hinted of arrogance but her grin screamed it.

 _She is observant and she truly knows how good she is._ The human settled into the comfort of her chair and Liara no longer sensed her emotions. _Odd_. She wore tan pants with more pockets than anyone could possibly need, a light pull-over white shirt, and black boots. A single pistol was hanging from her waist but she suspected other weapons were concealed carefully in the bulk of her clothing. 

Liara chuckled back at her. “Both, actually.” She made a conscious decision to drop the Matriarch persona and let her guard down. _If this is going to work, I need to start building trust now._ “But it also bought me a more complete dossier on you than the one Benezia was provided, as well as anonymity.” Liara leaned back in her chair as she wondered why she could no longer sense the human’s emotions. Even without that safety blanket, she felt comfortable with Shepard. “Please forgive my rouse though the entire process. Surely you can understand my need to be confident in the person I am entrusting with my life. Benezia is thorough but we do not agree on everything,” _or much of anything really_.

Shepard smiled and replied. “None needed, caution is something I believe in.” 

Liara picked up a wave of relaxation from Shepard and then nothing again. She dismissed it as a side effect of the sexual hunger flowing around her nervous system. 

“So Shepard,” Liara reached below her desk to the cooler. She produced two chilled glasses and a familiar carafe of purple liquid. “I was told this is a favorite of yours. How did you come to acquire such a taste? I rarely see it unless I am Thessia.” Aria told her this was the human’s beverage of choice and then made a comment how it was “worth the investment.” 

As Shepard performed the usual first sip, Liara had to use every ounce of strength she had to control herself. _Goddess, Aria did not lie_. Her thighs were clenched so tight together she could hardly keep from shaking. “Had it when I first came to Omega. I don’t drink so a bartender recommended this instead.” Liara felt a wave of embarrassment suddenly emanate from Shepard. _She noticed_. 

Liara continued as if nothing happened. “Tell me what you need from me to do your job.” She hoped the subject change would ease the sexual tension she knew Shepard was picking up on. Luckily, it seemed to work.

“To best do my job, I will need access to all of your personnel files, shipping manifests and schedules, a private terminal and work space, and travel routes. I also am going to need you to provide me with your complete private schedule with as much advance warning as possible so I can make any necessary preparations.” Shepard was very meticulous with her thinking and Liara could not be more pleased with her luck. The human continued, “I realize the need for privacy Liara but I ask that you keep in mind that if you sneak off without me, I can not protect you. All I ask is if you feel you can’t give me details, be honest, tell me that and we will go from there. I **promise** you I will respect your privacy, I am not unreasonable.” 

Liara hid her approval temporarily. “Do you anticipate anything happening?”

Shepard smiled at the Asari. “It’s my job to anticipate everything bad that can happen Liara. Preventing something is much better then handling an attack. Besides, didn’t you just tell me a little while ago this was not the simple job I had anticipated?” Her sarcasm was apparent. 

Liara laughed at her teasing. “I think we are going to become fast friends Shepard.”

The human was clearly relaxed now. “The main thing is you trust me and my judgment. If I say something is unsafe, it’s because it usually is. If you need proof of my commitment, I offer you a meld.”

“That won’t be necessary Shepard.” Liara felt her sincerity. “To be honest, I was hoping for something more than a bodyguard. I need someone I can lean on help me run this expedition which I will get into greater detail about as time goes along. But I also need your discretion. Being underestimated can be an advantage. I like that I am perceived by others as Benezia sees me, a naïve scientist. I would like to keep that perception up for everyone else.” 

Shepard just looked into her eyes and laughed. “Yes Liara, I think you are right. We are going to become fast friends.” She downed the last of the juice and looked at her new boss. “So what’s the plan doctor?”

It was decided that Shepard would spend the afternoon moving onto the ship and then they would have a working dinner. Tomorrow they would begin interviewing a crew and then head to The Citadel for the rest of the interview process and supplies. 

_If I get my way and I usually do, we will be more than just friends Shepard, much more_.


	3. Chapter 3

Title courtesy of Mazzy Star.

Chapter 3 – Fade Into You

Omega

Shepard was just about finished getting settled in her new quarters aboard Liara’s ship, pleasantly surprised at the comfort level she was going to be experiencing over the next year. The private floor, accessible only by Liara or herself, had individual quarters for each including private bathrooms, a shared shower room, and a multipurpose common room. Liara had explained how the ship was originally designed for a scientist who traveled with his family. It reminded the doctor of being at the University living quarters on Thessia. 

_She certainly was not what I expected_. Every Asari she had ever met was manipulative on some level. Aria, Liara’s mother, and even the dancers at Afterlife were trying to manipulate credits with every gyration. Yet her new boss also had a very genuine and honest vibe to her which was unique. This was clearly more than a simple research voyage and Shepard would gladly give her time to reveal the details, as she promised she would. She could not be more elated with her new situation.

For the majority of the afternoon, Liara had remained with Shepard while she unpacked her belongings, although there was little besides clothing and electronics that she cared to bring other than her armor and weapons of course. The bulk of the talking was done by Liara as she shared details of her background. Once the topic touched on her education, she became swept up in her fascination with various ancient cultures. Shepard likened her to a walking database, pulling up interesting traits of one society then comparing the similarities or differences with others. It did not take long to realize that the actual topic had no bearing on Shepard’s intense interest in what the Asari was saying, she lingered on every word. Liara’s voice was enchanting, tones of stimulating echoes dancing on the human’s eardrums.

Shepard recalled their earlier meeting and how Liara appeared to be shaking in her chair. _I really need to stop my juice drinking ritual._ She only started the act in response to Aria’s endless advances and it became second nature. The bartender who introduced her to the drink told her about the Asari saying concerning the beverage. ‘The only thing that tastes sweeter is an Asari itself.’ That comment spawned the idea on how deliver some payback to Aria. 

_Nah, she was probably shaking from the cold or something_. Shepard refused to give Liara the same treatment she gave Aria. _New job, new boss, new opportunities._ The doctor was nothing like her former boss. _Time to start fresh and leave Omega behind_.

Liara had an elegant beauty about her mixing innocence with a twinkle of renegade. She dressed much more modestly than her mother, in typical conservative Asari attire. And by conservative, that meant she wore a long clingy dress made of thin molding fabric that showed off every curve while covering the majority of her skin. _I wonder if she has specks on her boobs like her mother._ Her eyes were a bit larger than most Asari and her facial markings resembled human freckles. The blue hues of her skin and her eyes matched none that Shepard had remembered noticing before. The human was not normally attracted to Asari and it had everything to do with the parade of maiden lap dancers Aria had sent her way. _Mmm and her indigo lips. What are you doing? Stop, she is way out of your league._ Shepard dismissed her thoughts and continued typing away at her terminal.

A short while later, she heard the chime on her door and with a swish, Liara had entered the room. “Are you settled in yet? Are the accommodations still satisfactory?” 

Shepard spun around on her chair and smiled. She could not hide the feeling of contentment she had even if she wanted to. “I feel like I stepped in shit.”

Liara looked confused and almost offended. “I am sorry, what is wrong? I tried to make everything as comfortable as possible for you.” 

Shepard did not understand and returned her a bewildered gaze. “Huh? Oh, no. It’s just an expression. It means that I feel lucky and fortunate. Sorry, I didn’t mean to confuse you.”

Liara shook her head and smiled. “I can not get used to human idioms no matter how much I study the language. You will have to, hmm, bear with me. Did I get that correct?”

There was something about Liara that relaxed Shepard, made her feel again. She hadn’t called anyone friend since leaving Earth, since Ashley. “Yes you did. Just give me two minutes to finish this and we can go.” Shepard continued to work at her terminal while Liara glanced around the room.

“Shepard, why two Omni-tools? Is one broken?” 

“No, one is purely for entertainment purposes. I keep all my simulations, music, and other stuff I have dug up on it. It is like my own personal treasure chest.” In reality, Shepard would be more devastated losing that omni-tool versus her everyday one even though she had an exact copy stashed. 

Liara had sat down on the bed leaning back on her elbows while allowing her perfectly shaped breasts to stand out prominently. “What do you have playing right now? It almost sounds like the music they play in Afterlife, but different.”

“It’s a group from late 20th century Earth called Delerium. I have a fascination with that period of time. It’s actually what pushed me to learn to hack when I was a kid. I wanted to get into all the hidden and protected archives I could find.” _Wow_. Shepard turned her head and saw how Liara was positioned on her bed. “I’m ready to go if you are.” The human turned away, grabbed her work omni, and headed for the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As they walked towards the restaurant, the residents of Omega seemed to clear a path for them. Everyone who had been on the station for even a short time knew who Shepard was and more importantly who her former boss was. She had replaced her white pullover with a long sleeve plain burgundy one in an attempt to look a little more presentable, a pistol hanging from a shoulder harness just above her waist line, inconspicuously hidden by the bulk of her shirt. Omega was not known for having anything classy but they were going to the best restaurant it had to offer. She had explained to Liara that the food was decent and the atmosphere was perfect for working. 

“Ah Shepard, good to see you again. Would you and your guest like a table with a view of the asteroid belt or something else tonight?” The hostess also knew who to be extra nice to on Omega. It was rare to see Shepard with anyone but Aria and usually she just dined alone.

“Back room please, Kiana” replied Shepard as she handed her a credit chit. As they followed the hostess, Liara grasped onto Shepard’s arm. Shepard looked over at her bewildered by the gesture and responded with humor. “Come on now doctor, surely you don’t feel you need protecting in here? I don’t believe your dinner will attack you.” Liara smacked her arm lightly but kept holding on. 

The duo sat down and began talking business before being distracted by avocados. They both ordered an Asari seafood dish and Shepard recommended sharing something called guacamole while waiting for their dinner. The restaurant began preparing it from a recipe she provided and it became a big seller. 

“Shepard, this is really good. What is in it? I never heard of it before.” Liara was clearly enjoying the creamy red dip. 

“Something I dug up from old Earth cuisine. The only color that avocados came in back then was green and it didn’t look nearly as appealing as it tasted. Through the wonder of genetics, they come in all different colors now.” Shepard took a sip of her water and looked over at her companion. “Liara …” and the human pointed to her own chin and began to laugh. 

The Asari grabbed her napkin and wiped her chin quickly. 

_Did she just blush?_

“Well I like it, in case you did not notice.” 

_She’s so damn endearing_.

It was a relief to Shepard that Liara was not as she was originally portrayed by her mother. They both shared an interest in history and the doctor had a keen approach to problem solving, undoubtedly honed through her science background. As they discussed how to approach the interviews and crew needs in general Shepard had realized Liara had thought the process through more thoroughly than she expected. The human suggested some security enhancements to install and Liara accepted her advice graciously. 

As they finished their dinner, Liara changed the subject. “Well Shepard I have had enough of work for one day, do you mind if we talk about something else?” When the human nodded, Liara continued. “I would like to know more about you. I feel like we are friends already. I hope I am not overstepping my bounds.”

“We’re going to be working together for the next year, may as well start now.” Shepard sipped her water. “Not much more than you already know.” _Well there is but I don’t want to get into that right now._ She knew that the sheet Aria provided was very vague about certain elements of her past and there was even more even Aria didn’t know herself. “And you even got extra info doctor.”

“Shepard, I only asked for a list of things I could acquire to make you comfortable. I wanted to know what foods you liked, if you required any special equipment, and items similar to that.” Liara’s eyes grew bigger than usual and she delivered the most innocent look Shepard has seen ever. “After all you have to protect this helpless archeologist. Keeping you happy and relaxed seems like a good idea, agreed?” 

Shepard choked on her water and started laughing. “Helpless is something I would never call you.” Liara maintained her expression. _Those eyes may become a problem._ “Okay okay, you win. Let’s head back to the ship though. The later it gets in Omega, the more unruly and stoned the population gets.” Liara left a credit chit for the tab and the two began walking back to the dock. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

While passing a remote corner, the pair heard a commotion. A typical Omega thug had cornered a woman, who was certainly not enthusiastic about her current predicament. Shepard paused to look at the ruckus and then glanced back at her new boss. _Well fuck_. Liara noticed the conflict written all over her face. The bodyguard grabbed the doctors hand, “Let’s get you back to the ship, it’s already getting rowdy out here.” 

“Help me, please” the woman pleaded from the shadows. 

Shepard glanced again at the commotion and back to the Asari firmly in her grasp. _Only Liara matters._ “Liara, I need to get you ….”

“Shepard, help her.”

With Liara’s blessing and much to her relief, Shepard approached the couple positioning Liara behind her while still maintaining contact with one hand, and tapped the aggressor on the shoulder with her other. “I don’t think she is interested.”

He turned to look at Shepard and dismissed her immediately because she was much smaller than him. A common enough occurrence but Shepard learned to take advantage of her quickness at an early age, using her size to her benefit. “Fuck off.” He was pushing the woman against the wall and holding her wrists while she struggled, tears coming down her face.

The woman pleaded. “Please, let me go.”

Before anyone realized what was happening, Shepard had reached into her pocket, pulled out a knife, and held it at the attacker’s groin. “I said, I don’t think she is interested.” 

It greatly amused Shepard how quickly males relented when a knife was pressing in their nether regions. There was also a primary artery in the thighs of humans that was sensitive to punctures; heavy bleeding always followed which helped to incapacitate larger foes. He immediately put his hands in the air. The change in his tone was clear, it was panic. “Hey, no problem. Just a misunderstanding is all.” 

Shepard let go of Liara and threw the attacker against the wall while holding the blade to his throat. “I suggest you leave. And if I see you pulling anything else like this, I’m going to cut off your balls and feed them to a Krogan.” She retracted the blade and he ran off without saying a word. 

The woman took a deep breath and rubbed her wrists. “Thanks Shepard.” 

She nodded. “You shouldn’t be alone this time of night.” Shepard grabbed Liara by the hand and hurried her back to the ship, neither speaking a word.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Once back in the safe confines of the ship, Shepard finally spoke. “Omega is not the safest place, especially at night.” 

“Why did you draw the knife and not the pistol?” Liara had assumed she would put the gun to his head and be done with it.

“He was unarmed and there was someone else there. I’m also pretty handy with a knife.” As the elevator doors opened to their quarters, Shepard broke the temporary silence. “Are you still in the mood for that chat? It’s early.” She was wide awake with all the adrenalin coursing through her veins. 

Liara nodded her head motioned for Shepard to follow her into her room. As Shepard looked around, she noticed how much less cluttered Liara’s room seemed even though their rooms were exact mirror images. There were some decorations but everything was very neat with the exception of papers piled on her workstation. 

“How do you remain so calm? Defending against wild animals on digs and biotics lessons are very different than what I witnessed tonight. And I was not even in danger.” Liara sat down on her bed and kicked off her shoes, crossing her ankles. “Did you know her?”

“Nah, but I’m glad you told me to help her. I knew I had to take care of you but I hate that shit. Sorry, guess I should ask. Does my language bother you? Aria’s habits have rubbed off on me.” Shepard dropped to the floor, stretching her legs out in front of her.

“No, profanity does not affect me. But how do you remain so calm? It was almost as if you turned on a switch and did not turn it off until we returned to the ship.” She was beginning to understand why her mother insisted on hiring protection. 

_It is a switch Liara_. “Experience. I’ve been in that situation and a lot worse many times.” When Liara remained silent, Shepard took her cue to continue. “I was on my own when I was eleven years old. Grew up in a major city on Earth and ran alone until about thirteen. Then I met someone and for the first time in my life I actually had a friend I could count on. She helped me out of a mess and then introduced me to…” _may as well tell her now_ “… ah hell.” Shepard drew a deep breath. “If you haven’t already found out I am sure you will so may as well hear it from me. I’m not proud of it but I don’t regret it either.” Shepard paused, trying unsuccessfully to gauge a reaction from Liara. “I ended up joining the local gang. I needed the protection and they needed someone who could hack into anything. At least they taught me how to shoot.” She paused and looked at Liara who maintained her silence. _Say something, anything_. 

“When I was 18, my cell got busted. Everyone else went to jail and I became indebted to Aria for five years. Thanks to you and your mother, I was paroled for good behavior to a better job.” Shepard smiled. Again Liara sat in silence and Shepard felt the compulsion to keep talking. “Aria kept me out of jail and my own will kept me from becoming a monster. But I am no paragon of virtue either.” 

Liara laughed and finally spoke. “Are any of us?” 

Shepard flicked on her omni-tool and produced an image of the attacker from earlier. “He’s about to have a bad day.” She grinned wickedly.

“How did you get a scan on him? I did not even see your omni come on.” Liara looked confused.

“There’s a chip in my knife that can scan pretty much anyone in stealth if close enough. I had it special designed and tweaked it a little. Tomorrow I’ll mess with his accounts and he won’t have time to worry about harassing women.” 

“You are full of surprises Shepard. I think you have a … hmm … Napoleon complex.”

“Hey, I’m not that short.” The human was amused, deducing Liara was misusing the phrase rather than making a comment about her stature.

“I think I did it once more.” She’s blushing again. “I really need to stop attempting to reference ancient Earth. Who is the criminal that broke the law to help people?”

Shepard started to laugh and Liara blushed even more. “Robin Hood?” Liara nodded. “Although it’s a little different, I see what you mean.”

They talked for a few more hours until both realized how late it was and how early they had to wake up for the interviews. Shepard headed to her room, sat down at her terminal, and began to quickly handle the little problem from earlier. It was easy to learn all she had to about Theol Layton. Normally she would just delete his account balance but something Liara said earlier was resonating in her mind. Instead she transferred the credits to a few untraceable dummy accounts and made an anonymous donation to the clinic in the slums.


	4. Chapter 4

Title courtesy of Aqualung.

Chapter 4 - Brighter Than Sunshine

Omega 

Liara and Shepard were reviewing their strategy for crew hires before their first subject arrived. Wanting a small crew, they knew they needed to find those with multiple areas of expertise. Liara had done all of the leg work researching and recruiting the best she could find. Her escort was going to “interrogate” the candidates, while the doctor appeared to relent to Shepard’s total judgment and control. In reality, Liara would stand behind the candidate make a gesture based on her approval or desire to discuss the candidate further. 

Shepard wore full armor with a pistol at her side and a rifle strapped to her back. _Her armor makes her look deceptively larger than she is. But I much prefer her draped in that towel she was sporting earlier. So I may have heard the water running and I may have waited until the right time to accidentally be in the hall the exact time she was coming out of the shower. And I may have been disappointed that she was wearing a towel, at the time._

“Liara, you okay?” Shepard was looking right into her eyes.

“Sorry, excited it all.” _And not in the way you think, I am sure._ There was a knock on the door. Liara smiled at her protector. “Ok Shepard, let us see how well we work together.”

Their first candidate was Jeff Moreau, their potential pilot. He had graduated at the top of his class from The Alliance Academy but was relegated to shuttle service after a disciplinary issue. He resigned his commission and decided to try his luck in the civilian sector instead. 

Shepard began the interview. “Impressive credentials Mr. Moreau, complete with recommendations. Tell me about your training.”

Liara’s mind began to wander once again to earlier that morning. She was temporarily distracted by her thoughts and barely paying attention to the interview occurring a short distance away from her.

Shepard’s voice drew Liara back to the present. “And this will not inhibit your ability to fly the ship?”

Shepard had not been fazed that she was dripping wet in a towel in front of her new boss. Liara felt no reaction from her at all; no embarrassment, no excitement, no adrenaline, no reaction at all. She just greeted the Asari and entered her own quarters to get dressed. The doctor thought about Shepard in that towel again and decided she was definitely not disappointed. The human’s voice drew in her attention again. 

“And what was the reason for the disciplinary mark on your record?” Her gaze resembled that of Benezia’s when confronting her mischievous child, she wanted a truthful answer.

“Well,” and he rubbed the back of his neck, “I asked an officer if she and the diplomat on board were going to act out a scene from a vid.”

“And which vid was that Mr. Moreau?” Shepard laced her gloved fingers in front of her mouth. 

“Vaenia.” He fidgeted in his seat. “I got the nickname Joker for a reason. I just apparently have bad timing.”

Liara was relieved that she was standing out of the pilot’s vision. Being intimately familiar with said vid and could not stop the smile gracing her lips. Shepard’s face remained unchanged. Her eyes, did glance towards Liara who quickly motioned the signal for her approval. 

Also noticing Shepard’s expression did not falter, Moreau began to explain. “You see, it’s a vid featur ….”

“I am aware of what it is … Joker.” Shepard cut him off mid-sentence. 

_So does that mean she has seen it?_

“Your offer is on the datapad. It is the same offer Dr. T’Soni made you when she invited you here to meet with us. If you decline, we need to know immediately so we can make other arrangements.” 

He shook his head as he picked up the datapad. 

“Good. Move your stuff on board tomorrow and familiarize yourself with the ship. We leave for The Citadel in two days time. After that, if you are half the pilot you appear to be, you should not make any other plans for the next year or so.” Shepard stood up. 

Luckily Liara had been able to regain her composure by the time their new pilot was ready to leave. She waited a few seconds after the door closed before surrendering to her amusement. Shepard just shook her head and smirked. “Now that was funny.”

“I could not tell by _looking_ at you. I could hardly control myself.”

“I know, I saw. 

“But you did not even flinch.”

“I know,” Shepard delivered the line with that hint of arrogance Liara was growing addicted to. _Goddess she is so sexy when she gets cocky._ A knock on the door centered Liara to her surroundings and the next applicant entered. 

Their interviews that day ended up being an overall success and a sign that the two truly could function as a well-oiled machine. They ended up hiring all four they were scheduled to meet. The second crewmate was a Quarian named Tali’Zorah who was brilliant with engines and technology in general. Being a Quarian also meant she could help with piloting shifts and Shepard was excited to have another hacker on board to share tech responsibilities. Tali had been on her pilgrimage for the flotilla and saw the perfect opportunity to assist in her own quest. 

Liara had also insisted on hiring a cook named Rupert Gardner for the skeleton crew even though Shepard thought it unnecessary. The new cook would also perform maintenance and basic repairs but most importantly could cater to the special nutrition needs of any species. Liara made comfort a priority on her ship. 

Their final hire was an L2 human biotic who was part of Jump Zero “disaster” named Kaidan Alenko. His biotics and military upbringing made him a perfect addition due to his many skills including piloting, weapons, and security detail. He seemed quiet and reserved during their introduction, a vast contrast to the personalities of his new crewmates.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The couple visited the same restaurant for dinner again after both worked all afternoon preparing for their crew’s arrival the next day and receiving supply shipments. Shepard asked Liara about Thessia and other places she traveled. The human was enthralled with everything Liara said, begging for more and more details as she kept glancing out the window beyond the asteroid belt. “I can’t wait to see the galaxy.” 

“I thought you traveled extensively. Is this not true?” Liara had familiarized herself with Shepard’s dossier, knowing each planet she had visited.

“Most of my security jobs involved sitting on shuttles or ships or in some building, no time for exploring. I never saw much of anywhere except Earth or Omega.”

“Then I will gladly show it to you.” Liara was beginning to see the youthfulness still residing in her escort. With how she usually carried herself, it was easy to forget her age but Shepard had begun to let her guard down at least a little, or so Liara deduced.

“Well I can’t wait for you to show me,” reflections of stars almost seemed to mirror in the blue in her eyes.

After dinner Liara suggested they continue their evening at Afterlife and Shepard agreed hesitantly after some discussion. ‘Well it is close to the dock and Aria doesn’t allow weapons…’ conceded Shepard.

The couple passed through security at the main door and Shepard of course was allowed to enter without relinquishing her sidearm. The dancing flames on the vid screens lining the corridor walls were a nice touch especially with the ambient red hues silhouetting Shepard’s jet black hair. As they approached the entrance to the club, Liara leaned over to her and asked “Do you have an obsession with pockets? Today it is not only your pants but your shirt as well.”

Shepard always seemed to respond with the same look when Liara asked her a question seemingly out of no where. “Picking on my style doctor?” 

_That smile is crooked, almost a sneer._

“Old habit. It’s easier to carry stuff around in pockets and not lose it.” She leaned in close to the side of Liara’s face and whispered. “It helps me to hide some knives too.” _Goddess, I can feel her breath against my crest …_

As the doors to Afterlife opened, the thumping of the bass permeated their senses. Scantily clad dancers gyrated to the music, some utilizing a pole as a prop. The liquor was flowing heavily while neon lights flickered everywhere, dancing flames still present strategically placed as backdrops to the occasional booth or bar. Positioned on her usual platform was Aria, presiding over the minions of Omega as their Queen. As the two headed towards the back stairs, they heard Shepard’s name amongst the muddied noise of their surroundings. 

Shepard turned sideways towards the voice. “Ash?” 

Liara could feel anxiety immediately building from Shepard as she spoke. Liara slid to the side, viewing a tall dark-haired woman approaching.

“Been a long time.” The stranger’s expression was cold and distant. She was attractive enough with dark eyes and full lips, her hair lying loosely upon her broad shoulders. There was a pendant hanging from her neck in the shape of a cross which Liara believed to be a human religious symbol.

Shepard began to take a step forward but stopped when the other human retreated two steps back. Her tone lacked the strength it usually commanded. “How have you been? I .. I wrote to you.” _She is getting more and more anxious._

“I know. Sorry I didn’t get back to you. Jail keeps you busy you know. Oh wait, no you wouldn’t.”

Now all Liara could feel from Shepard was overwhelming guilt. “I wanted to do something Ash, there was nothing I could do.” Her eyes dropped down to the other human’s feet. 

“Not sure why I spent the energy to come over, guess we _were_ friends once. You have a lot of people pissed at you. They think you ratted everyone out.” As Shepard opened her mouth, the other human cut her off before a word escaped her lips. “I know you didn’t. You wouldn’t do that to me, right?” There was an arrogant sarcasm that seethed resentment as the words left her mouth. “I told them why; they don’t believe or don’t care.” She paused then glanced at Liara. “I see your tastes have changed.”

Shepard found her voice immediately. “She’s a good friend,” and reached out her hand towards Liara. _She called me her friend and not her boss. She does not want her to know she does not work for Aria maybe? There is no hint of fear coming from her, only loneliness._ Liara grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. 

“Yah, so was I,” Liara heard the long haired woman say as she turned and strutted away.

Shepard turned around guiding Liara by the hand. They were immediately greeted by a Turian in full armor holding an assault rifle. “Aria wants to see you, now.”

“Of course she does,” Shepard mumbled. “Her timing is piss poor as ever” she whispered loud enough for only Liara to hear. They approached the stairs and Shepard released Liara’s hand before beginning the climb to Aria’s perch. 

“Dr. T’Soni, Shepard. Sit.” Aria’s interaction with Shepard when they were among others was vastly different than when they were alone. Aria treated her like everyone else. She was aloof, rarely making eye contact and spoke with a very slow, precise choice of words just daring someone to interrupt her sentence. Liara sat while Shepard remained standing, taking position by her side. “I see Williams found you. Would you like for me to have her tossed out on her ass?” Aria was glancing at a couple fighting in the distance. 

“No, she just came to warn me.”

“Warn,” Aria met Shepard’s eyes, “or threaten?” Her eyes glanced away once more. “If you want her killed, I’ll give you a discount.”

“Not worth it. I can handle myself.” 

Aria gave her a quick nod and then glanced towards the other Asari. “Dr. T’Soni, are you satisfied with your new bodyguard?”

“I am. Her skills surpass her reputation.” Liara’s eyes were fixated on something in the distance.

“Remember that in a few years.” Aria was now leering at one of her dancers while her tongue glazed the purple stripe on her bottom lip. “You leave tomorrow.” It was not a question; it was a statement of fact. She looked back to Shepard who just nodded. “Don’t be a stranger” and Aria went back to gawking at the dancer to her right.

Liara took the cue, rose and began down the stairs and out of Aria’s line of vision while Shepard followed her. The human scanned the club and found a table in the top corner, partially concealed by shadows. She grasped Liara’s hand and led her to their destination where they both sat down. 

After Shepard sent in a drink order on her omni, Liara spoke. “Are you okay?” Shepard’s emotions had stopped seeping out from the moment Aria’s name was mentioned by the Turian. _She turned on that switch again._

“Yah. I just have a headache now.” She stared ahead into nothing. 

Liara wondered if Shepard had noticed this Williams person watching her while they were talking to Aria. _It’s as if she was looking at Shepard to make sure she saw who she was kissing. There is something much more to this …_ “Do you want to talk about it? I do consider you a good friend too.” The two had known each other only a few days but Liara felt such an instant closeness to her. She could only compare it to an intense magnet drawing her towards Shepard. The Asari was happily swept up in the storm of attraction.

“No.” 

The Asari was not used to being around humans and wondered if this was typical behavior. Around the galaxy, humans had gained a reputation of being rushed and high strung but Shepard was different. She seemed to slow down during tenuous situations rather than becoming impulsive or irrational. Her demeanor became more thinking and methodical, perhaps having learned to rely upon only herself growing up on the streets. Against her impulse to push for an answer, she chose a different approach. “We can leave if you want. It is alright.” A few seconds passed until Liara began to feel something from her companion suddenly. It was resolve. 

“No, it’s okay.” Shepard finally made eye contact and smiled. 

_And the switch is now off._

“As you can tell, I seem to have some baggage. I don’t fear them. I was always quicker, faster, and smarter. Now I am wiser too. Is this a problem for you? Be honest.” Their drinks arrived and Shepard held onto her glass with both hands. 

“I trust in you.”

Shepard smiled and held out her glass. “To _friends._ ”

Liara returned the gesture. She swore she heard Shepard mumble something very softly under her breath as the glasses clinked. It sounded vaguely like ‘Fuck you Ash.’


	5. Chapter 5

Title courtesy of Green Day.

Chapter 5 – Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Somewhere in Space 

Shepard, Liara, and the rest of the crew spent the next few days acclimating to each other and the ship. The doctor took the opportunity to show Kaidan some meditation techniques in the hopes it would help with his L2 implant complications. Liara was quick to realize how different the training of human biotics was compared to her own on Thessia, a clear reflection in the generalized perception outsiders had of each race. 

Shepard took an immediate liking to Tali and found the young Quarian extremely bright and inventive. They spent a lot of time talking about encryption, decryption, and ways to improve anything mechanical around them. Shepard rarely found herself an equal when it dealt with technology but the young Quarian was her superior in many ways. Tali had already taken it upon herself to improve fuel cell efficiency by requesting a few parts for purchase so Shepard gave her some additional responsibilities.

The rest of the human’s time was spent learning the layout of the Citadel and anything she could about Therum, the first planet they would visit. Liara spent her time handling the day to day needs of the ship and conducting research when possible. The offices on the ship had inside windows, which was unlike any other ship Shepard had been on. They also came equipped with shutter switches if the need for privacy arose but both kept theirs open in order to maintain a presence for the crew. Liara also liked to sneak peeks at her escort from time to time, a convenient benefit to the layout.

Shepard had been engrossed in studying about Therum, wishing she had the energy to be more excited when she noticed the message light blinking on her terminal. 

From: Tali’Zorah

Shepard,

I installed the cameras in the cargo hold like you asked, including three hidden ones I added in case anyone notices the visible ones and tries to disable them. Feed is clear and being archived. Let me know how long you want files kept.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

From: R. Gardner

Shepard,

Dr. T’Soni told me to ask you for some old Earth recipe. She said you would know what she was talking about.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

From: Tali’Zorah

Shepard, 

We are experiencing occasional slow transfer speeds on our extranet feed. The timing coincides with constant vid feeds streaming to Joker and Gardner. I’m afraid to investigate further. The new equipment requests should rectify the problem but thought you should know. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

From: K. Alenko

Shepard,

I have put in a request for some weapon upgrades. Their overall condition is above average, they just need some cleaning and updated mods. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

From: Dr. T’Soni

Shepard, 

When you get a second, can you please come to my office? 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard squeezed her eyes tightly together, praying for the throbbing in her head to cease and trudged towards Liara’s office. She tried not to show her anguish to everyone else, she hated appearing weak and thankfully Liara was happy to comply. 

The Asari waited for the door to fully close before speaking. She had already placed her hands in front of her mouth, preventing anyone from trying to read her lips through the window. “You look terrible. Do you still have that headache?” 

“Yah. Can’t seem to shake it and the only time it dulls is when I am concentrating on work. Is it that obvious?” Shepard had lost her usual playful sarcasm sometime within the previous day. The migraine was sapping all energy out of her. 

“I am afraid so, to me at least. Tonight after dinner I am going to help you. I can meld with you and try to clear your mind so you can sleep.” Shepard looked at her, in too much pain to protest but Liara sensed her apprehension. “Do not even try to say no. You were working long after everyone else was asleep last night. You were awake before everyone else this morning. I do not know if you even slept at all and I need you well rested for tomorrow.” 

Shepard knew she could not argue with Liara’s reasoning. It was not the meld itself that scared her. One of the first things Aria had taught her was to protect her thoughts during a meld. 

‘Can’t have you being snatched up by some Eclipse, melded, and give all my secrets away,’ Aria had said. ‘The key is to keep visible walls up with harmless information as misdirection so no one ever thinks to look for invisible walls to try to break through.’ 

The process was much more complex than that but she explained it in the simplest terms possible. Once they melded the first time, Shepard understood the meaning. She was also a quick learner due to her own strong will and defense system already in place. The melds were also why Aria never questioned the human’s loyalty, she just knew.

The fact that she maybe did not want to keep all of her walls up is what frightened her. In such a short time, she had grown quite fond of Liara, was drawn to her. Having someone she trusted again was a welcome feeling, but it also scared her beyond belief. She was not going to make the same mistake with Liara that she did with Ashley. “Okay,” Shepard surrendered.

Liara was relieved she did not have to argue with Shepard in the state of pain she quite apparently was experiencing. “So how is Tali doing with the cargo hold?” She steered the topic back to work, hoping it actually did relieve some of Shepard’s anguish. 

Shepard filled Liara in on the status of Tali’s projects and requests. “… she is brilliant and thankfully since Joker insists on spending most of his time in the cockpit, she can concentrate on things other then piloting. Alenko fills in for Joker while he sleeps and has been maintaining the weapon cache in the armory.” Her face calmed slightly when she became distracted with ship happenings.

“Gardner has turned out to be a great cook and has kept the ship clean. He mostly keeps to himself though as you noticed.”

Liara nodded and remained silent to let her keep talking. 

“Hopefully in two days we can hire your assistants so you can go back to your research full time.” Shepard walked over to the cooler and grabbed a bottle of water. “Hey Liara,” she held out a bottle towards Liara who shook her head declining the offer, “I know what you said about not installing more surveillance, but I wanted to check with you again in case you changed your mind.”

“It is not needed my friend. Everyone here is happy to be here, no ulterior motives.”

“How can you be so sure? I mean, it’s not that I don’t trust your judgment …” Shepard sat back down, placing the cold container against her forehead.

“Well Shepard, I think it is time to let you in on another of my little secrets.” Liara scratched her chin and smiled. “I am empathic.” 

The human’s face wrinkled in a state of confusion. 

“It is rare trait among Asari but I can sense emotions in others. Everyone on the ship is fairly simple to read, except you of course. You have been difficult from day one.” 

Shepard slowly shook her head, a response she was getting used to performing. “You never cease to amaze me doctor.”

“Of course no one knows I have this ability except you now. I have even managed to keep it from Benezia.” Liara could not help from beaming at the thought of winning another minor battle against her mother.

“Your word was always good enough for me but this is even better. It’s an unexpected edge.” Shepard’s eyes wandered upward as if looking into her own thoughts. “It’s a way to communicate if something ever happened.”

“I think you are a bit paranoid at times Shepard.” Liara made it apparent she was teasing her friend, in the hopes that humor would relax her. 

“I call it prudent planning.” Shepard took another swig, her face still showing signs of the persistent migraine. “It comes in handy in my line of work.” 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After a dinner of some rather spicy gumbo and rice, the duo excused themselves to Shepard’s cabin. Even though it was still relatively early, the Asari was not about to accept any resistance. “Okay Shepard, get into your sleeping clothes and then sit here in front of me.” Liara had taken a stern approach with the stubborn human. She pulled a chair over near Shepard's bed and waited for her to sit down after exiting the bathroom, having changed into a tank top and a pair of short boxers.

“Give me your hands.” Shepard complied, obviously willing to try anything to find relief. The Asari’s blue eyes faded to black. Liara felt resistance as soon as she attempted to touch Shepard's consciousness.

The human winced and pulled her hands back almost immediately. “Please, stop. It .. doesn’t feel right. I can’t explain it. It almost hurts but different.” Shepard sighed in defeat. “Even the light makes it worse right now.” She dropped her head into the palms of her hands, gripping her hair between her fingers.

Liara was not about to concede victory to a simple migraine. She took a deep breath and thought for a moment. “I will be right back. We are going to try something different.” Liara left the room and returned shortly with two reddish-purple globes that resembled crystal. As she tapped the surface, they emanated a faint glow. “The smell should be familiar to you though I assure you, it is purely a coincidence. These are actually older than you.”

Shepard’s eyes followed Liara, fingers still entangled in her locks of hair. “What is that fruit called? The bartender never told me the name.”

“Cerise.” Liara placed one sphere on Shepard’s desk and the other on her night stand before turning off the lights. “This should help.”

“Wait… older than me? How old are you anyway?” 

Liara sat back down and moved the chair closer to Shepard’s bed. “Okay Shepard, face the other way.” Liara moved her index finger in a circular motion indicating for the human to spin around and she did as she was bid. “I am only 108.” 

Shepard twisted her head to look back at Liara who gently grasped her, facing her forward once again. 

“We would be considered in the same age range comparatively speaking.” Liara placed her hands on the side of Shepard’s head. “My mother used to do this to me when I had nightmares as a child, with a meld of course. But it helped me relax and get back to sleep.” Her index fingers found Shepard’s temples as her thumbs caressed her jawline, the remainder of her fingers lay gently on her cheeks. “Do not be startled” and Liara’s hands began to glow.

Shepard moaned at the instant relief the gentle biotic pulses provided. “You’ve never referred to her as your ‘mother’ before. You always call her Benezia.”

“We have not had a close relationship for decades. I will tell you about it some other time. I am surprised you noticed though. I barely realize I do it.”

“I tend to notice things.”

Liara maneuvered her hands so her middle fingers took over on her temples and her thumbs moved to the back of the human’s neck. “Your muscles are extremely tight. It is no wonder you are in so much pain. Try to relax. Think of something happy to focus on and just let the tension drain away.” 

Shepard sighed, if only it were that easy. She drew a deep breath exhaling at an even slower pace. “I don’t have any happy memories Liara. My happiest moments are average at best.” 

Liara felt her instantly tense up even more, wondering how that was even possible. “Jaye, there has to be something,” She had lowered her voice to barely above a whisper.

Shepard shivered and then her shoulders immediately drooped into a relaxed state at the sound of Liara saying her name, a name rarely used. “Your voice is soothing.” Shepard began to think of the other night. Seeing Ashley again, feeling the guilt and rejection. Most of all she felt so alone until Liara took her hand. As the tears began to escape her eyes, Shepard realized she didn’t care that her friend would see her cry. 

Feeling the moisture on her fingertips, Liara encouraged her friend to open up. “Just let it all out.”

Pausing for only a moment, Shepard gathered all the courage she could summon and began. “The other night... she was the first person I ever trusted, my best friend, the only one that ever made me feel wanted. We were inseparable.” As she spoke about her old friend, she found it became easier with each passing word. “I screwed it up.” 

“It is okay. I am here for you.” Liara concentrated exclusively on Shepard’s neck, her fingers pulsing ever so gently beneath her hairline.

“I thought it was more, I wanted more. I tried to kiss her, told her how I felt, and lost everything. She pushed me away and walked out. I never spoke to her again until the other night. You saw how well that went.” She paused a few moments and took a deep breath. She never had the chance to fix her friendship as they were both arrested a few days later and her life on Omega began. Ashley remained locked up and it was all her fault, a silent burden she still carried. Eventually she stopped writing letters when no response came, hoping there was a reason other than the one she feared most. “Sometimes I just … feel so alone.” 

Liara leaned in next to her ear, “But you are not.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes while Liara’s words seeped into Shepard’s mind. She closed her eyes concentrating on the deftness of her fingers as they washed away the strain in her neck, washed away the pain. 

“Your neck has lost most of the tension. How is your head?” Liara released her biotics and pulled her hands away, starting to feel the exhaustion of constant channeling even the tiniest amount. 

Shepard turned and lay down on her back, looking up at Liara with dry bloodshot eyes. “Much better thanks to you. I think I may actually be able to sleep tonight.” The faint glow in the room created a unique aura radiating from the Asari’s skin tone.

“I will stay until you drift off. Then tomorrow you can resume taking care of me.” Liara felt pleased that she was able to ease the pain her escort was in, and smiled down affectionately at the human.

Shepard turned away from Liara onto her side, the usual position she slept. She felt tender hands begin to stroke her hair as fatigue settled in and her breathing leveled into a slow steady pace. Shepard was walking the border between the sleeping and waking worlds when she sensed a gentle, soothing presence enter her mind. 

Liara’s melodic tones resonated in her subconscious. _“You are not alone anymore. Sweet dreams.”_ As Liara vacated Shepard’s mind, she left a blanket of comfort wrapped around her soul. 

Shepard was barely aware of the almost silent footsteps making their way towards the door. “Thanks Liara,” she somehow managed to scarcely mumble.

She heard a familiar calming voice in the distance as she was drifting into sleep. “No thanks necessary, this is what friends do for each other.”


	6. Chapter 6

Title courtesy of Rubyhorse.

Chapter 6 – Sparkle

Almost Citadel Space

Title courtesy of Rubyhorse. Chapter 6 – Sparkle Almost Citadel Space 

_Panic, it was instant panic. Strange surroundings, lying on a strange bed, a strange figure coming into focus just feet away. “Stay away from me.” She reached for her knife, only to discover she was wearing strange clothes and had no knife at her side._

_“It’s okay, you’re safe.” Her voice was strong but gentle. She came over and sat down on a chair near the bed._

_Shepard’s eyes focused on the person sitting next to her when a sudden realization overcame her. “You’re Lynn’s sister.” The other girl nodded her head in affirmation and smiled. “I don’t understand. What do you want with me?”_

_“I’m repaying that favor I owe you. You’re safe now.” She stood up and headed to the door. “You’ve been out of it for a few days, you must be starving. I’ll get you some soup, be right back.”_

Shepard shook her head side to side, erasing the memory from her mind’s eye. She replaced it with a more recent memory, one from the previous night, one of Liara looking down on her seemingly glowing. She smiled to herself as the elevator door opened. Shepard woke up feeling like a new person. The previous night had given her a feeling of worth and belonging she had not experienced in a while. 

Tali was seated at the table in the mess hall playing with something on her Onmi-tool when the human walked in. “Shepard, you look well rested.”

“Morning. I can’t believe I slept this long. We have to be close to the Citadel by now.” Shepard walked over to the cooler, scanning the contents. 

“We were under strict orders to let you sleep. Dr T’Soni made it very clear last night before she proceeded to beat us all at poker.” Tali shook her head and turned her attention back to her Omni. “Keelah if I didn’t know better I’d swear she was cheating.”

Shepard settled on some juice and instant oatmeal, one of her favorites that Liara had stocked up on. Leaning against the counter, she waited for her breakfast to cook. “Cheating? Why?”

“It was like she could read our minds. She knew whenever anyone was bluffing or had a good hand at least most of the time. But her eyes never went black. So there is no way she could have cheated.” Tali tapped away on her Omni while Shepard silently laughed to herself. 

“Ah you are awake. Did you sleep well Shepard?” Liara glided into the room and took a seat across from the Quarian. Tali’s suit may have hid her expression but the speed at which she looked up as soon as she heard Liara signaled slight panic. She looked back down, just as quickly. 

“Yes, thank you for allowing me to sleep in doctor, I needed it.” Shepard grabbed her bowl and sat down next to Tali. She had the best night of sleep she could ever remember and woke up feeling happy and content all thanks to the Asari sitting across from her. She purposely projected a feeling of thankfulness hoping Liara could sense it as she spooned her breakfast into her mouth. Liara’s face remained unchanged but Shepard felt a slight nudge against her leg.

“Tali as I explained last night,” Liara began, “I am over 100 years old. I have had a lot of practice.” 

Tali relaxed at Liara’s playful tone. “I’m just glad we weren’t playing for credits.” 

The three chatted while Shepard finished her oatmeal. “How long ‘til we are at The Citadel, anyone know? All that sleep has thrown me off a little.”

Tali replied, “About two hours or so.”

“Any schedule changes today I should be aware of Liara?” Shepard took her bowl and glass to the sonic dishwasher.

“No, nothing until tomorrow for us. Hopefully this time will give everyone enough relaxation before we head to Therum. I do not know when we will be back at a port.”

“Okay then it’s settled. I am going shopping and since I have a very narrow sense of style,” she glanced towards Liara, “both of you are going to help me.”

Tali shook her head and began to speak, the amusement was clear in her voice. “You are trusting me with fashion Shepard? I am stuck in this suit.”

“Ah Tali, your suit does not have 28 pockets so your sense of fashion must be better than mine.” Shepard’s swagger and sarcasm had returned and Liara was elated. “Besides I need you to help me pick out some programs and mods for my Carnifex.”

“Ooh Shepard you have a Carnifex? I am jealous.” Tali was impressed.

“It sucks for long fights because of the ammo limits but for regular guard duty, I never go without it.” Shepard looked at her two companions. “Then it’s settled. When we get to The Citadel, we are going shopping. See you guys later, need to get some work done.”

“Hold the elevator Shepard, I need to get some work done too.”

“See you both later,” said Tali and she continued to tap on her Omni.

When the elevator door closed, Liara hit the stop button. “I need you to set up a meeting with someone. His name is Keiji Okuda.”

“I can try. He’s impossible to find though. The best we can do is get word out with some sort of offer in mind and hope he decides to find us. Why do we need the services of a master thief? And don’t say to steal something, I got that much figured out.” Shepard felt like her sarcastic self again.

“If you were going to steal a chip from a Salarian government contracted business on Noveria, would not you pick the very best thief you could locate?”

Shepard smiled. “And what should I put out for the offer.”

“Art of War,” responded Liara as she started the elevator up again. “By the way Shepard, it is nice to see you so relaxed.” The Asari gently touched her elbow before the doors opened and she headed to her office.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Citadel

“You two are worse than a pack of varren.” Shepard sat with her two shopping companions at Apollo’s Café enjoying the view in The Citadel and nursing her water. “I asked you to go shopping with me and I bought clothes.”

“You also mentioned getting help with style Shepard. My suit fasteners are more stylish.” Tali, along with Liara made suggestion after suggestion to the human on clothing choices and every one was declined.

“My hoodies are very stylish. They cost enough creds. And I bought new pants and some shirts. None of which had more than five pockets.”

“But how many pairs of cargo pants are you having delivered in two days?” Liara chimed in. She was rather enjoying giving Shepard a taste of her own medicine.

“Irrelevant.”

“And you wouldn’t try on any of the dresses we suggested.” Tali had been looking forward to playing dress-up vicariously through Shepard.

“Have you ever seen how I sit? I can’t wear a dress. And when would I wear one anyway? ‘Oh please Mr. Blue Sun. Would you care to open a door for a lady before I blow your fucking head off?’ Makes sense to me.” Shepard was playing up her reaction but deep down was enjoying the friendly teasing. 

“I do not think a lady would use language like that Shepard.” Liara was unrelenting. She knew Shepard was not truly offended and the change in her was a pleasant surprise. She had let down her guard slightly around Tali, allowing the young Quarian a glimpse at her true nature.

“Exactly. So why would I buy a dress?” Shepard raised her chin as a sign that she had won the debate. Her companions just laughed at her.

“Impossible.”

“Stubborn.”

“So now that we have THAT settled, lets head to Kassa Fabrications. I need to get some new bodysuits for under my armor. And maybe I can find a set of light armor to walk around in when I can’t get away with something heavy duty.” 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara leaned against the railing of The Presidium, gazing out at the fountains and lush greenery while her two companions were “geeking out”, as Shepard called it, browsing programs and weapon mods in the marketplace. 

_‘I’m Tela Vasir and this is my favorite store on The Citadel.’_

A wave of serenity had washed over Liara after spending the evening with Shepard. There was no denying the physical attraction she felt, especially with when she flashed that crooked arrogant smirk. But there was so much more to her protector, so much yet to discover. Liara felt honored, privileged even that Shepard chose to trust her with details of her past. 

She heard Shepard voice approaching from behind, “Tali ran into someone from the flotilla, weird. You don’t see many Quarians around let alone two at once.” She joined Liara, leaning next to her against the railing . “See anything interesting?” 

_‘I’m Tela Vasir and this is my favorite store on The Citadel.’_

“No. I was just thinking about how irritating that ad is playing over repeatedly.”

“Trust me, it’s not nearly as irritating as she is.” Shepard turned to face Liara, utilizing her elbow for support. 

Shepard’s hair was so shiny and had felt wonderful in her hands. Liara wanted to reach out and push a loose strand back behind her ear, which was yet another fascinating part of human anatomy. “I take it you know her, from Omega I assume?” 

“I wouldn’t say know, only met her a few times. She needed something from Aria and you know how Aria is when someone needs something from her. She gets the most out of it.” 

_‘I’m Tela Vasir and this is my favorite store on The Citadel.’_

Shepard looked more at peace today. A sparkle of innocence gleamed in her eyes that seemed to only be present when she and Liara were alone. “I can attest to that fact,” Liara chuckled.

“Vasir was put on a leash. Aria had her running all over Omega playing errand girl, letting everyone know she had control over a Spectre. I might’ve felt bad for Vasir if she wasn’t such a self-righteous bitch.” Shepard laughed. “Even the people living in the slums were talking about Aria’s pet Spectre for months after.”

“And what will you say in a few years about me I wonder.” Liara was half teasing and half fishing for a compliment.

_‘I’m Tela Vasir and this is my favorite store on The Citadel.’_

“You are nothing like either of them Liara.” Shepard inched a little closer and lowered her voice. “Thank you … for last night.” The human turned and once again stared into The Presidium, elbow to elbow with Liara, focusing on a fountain in the distance. “I don’t trust easily. I learned the hard way what misplaced trust can do. But I trust you, or else I wouldn’t have let you see me like that.” Shepard leaned to the side slightly bumping Liara’s shoulder. “So thanks.”

It seemed that beneath the arrogant bravado of this elite mercenary, a softer gentler soul resided. Liara felt a bond forming with her escort, something that ran much deeper than the initial attraction she felt. Liara leaned back into Shepard’s shoulder, “Anytime.”

_‘I’m Tela Vasir and this is my favorite store on The Citadel.’_


	7. Chapter 7

Title courtesy of Animotion.

Chapter 7 - Obsession

The Citadel 

Shepard was headed to Barla Von’s office to make the exchange for a copy of an old Earth book called “Art of War” She was making the transaction alone in order to facilitate the naive public image Liara wished to cultivate. Shepard happily respected Liara’s wishes because it made Shepard a target rather than the one she was hired to protect. Barla Von was an agent for The Shadow Broker and soon realized how high the price was for the information that was dangled in front of him. 

“Liara, you sure this is going to work?” Shepard was using a standard Asari commlink to communicate with Liara back on the ship. 

“It will, I paid enough credits for the program mod back on Illium. It will authenticate the text by analyzing the paper and ink to match it up with the information we uploaded. Just open it to any page and scan it. Your Omni will do the rest. Von has a reputation to uphold so I do not expect any trickery.” 

Shepard was in full armor with a complete weapons arsenal strapped to her back and hip. It took her nearly an hour at C-Sec to apply for and receive the necessary clearances to carry weapons on The Citadel but she knew the worth. “What are you giving him anyway?”

“Salarian government research project data. I removed the information on the chip we need and the remainder will be used to obtain the book.” Liara was proving to be quite resourceful.

“Okay so next question. There had to be a reason you gave Conrad an interview. I’m just not seeing it.” Shepard recalled the interview from the previous day with the completely unqualified inept candidate. This was NOT at all like Liara.

“I figured there was a one percent chance he was all he claimed to be. I also knew that it would take you five minutes to figure out if he was not. It seemed worth the time.”

“I think it was more like two minutes. You should’ve seen the look on his face when I took his pistol apart and told him to put it back together.” Noticing his poorly maintained and extremely dated sidearm, Shepard started with the obvious. 

“I felt him panic. The emotion was quite instant and thunderous.”

“That’s why I put it back together and told him to go home to his wife and kid.” Shepard recalled how she was forced into the life she had just to survive. The idea of someone with a family choosing to take on the same risks saddened her in many ways. “The other three will be a big help. Garrus has C-Sec background and his weapon knowledge is vast. Traynor and Dr. Ryan will be great assistants for your research. I think we are doing well so far Liara, don’t you?”

“We make a good team Shepard.”

“That we do. I’m here by the way.” The information broker’s office was just ahead and Shepard entered clinching a datapad in her hand. “Barla Von, I believe we have an appointment.” She didn’t notice the hooded figure watching her from a corner in the Commons.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Let me see it.” Liara was waiting in their private common room for Shepard to return with the ancient text. Being a lover of history, she could not help but be excited to see an artifact from early 20th century Earth. “It is in pristine condition.” She quickly closed the air-tight box and placed it in their private hold. “We have a little while before our appointment, I want to show you something.”

Liara led Shepard into her quarters where a light set of green and black armor was sprawled on her bed. Liara picked it up and held it out to Shepard. “Try this on and tell me what you think.” Liara noticed the curious look on Shepard’s face as she took the armor from her hands. “It is my huntress armor.”

Shepard looked at Liara’s chest, then down at her own, and then back to Liara’s again. 

The Asari took full advantage of the opportunity. “Are you staring at my breasts Shepard?” Her indigo lips curled into a suggestive grin.

Shepard ignored the comment, clearly focused on the size of the armor. “Your boobs and hips are bigger than mine. This won’t fit.”

“There are straps that run the entire length of the armor. It is made to be adjustable. Just try it on, tell me how it feels. If you like it we can order a few sets custom made in your size.” 

Shepard began fiddling with the straps. 

“You said you wanted light armor to wear when heavy was inappropriate and I think this will suit your needs.”

“Help me get out of my armor then, will you?”

“I must admit, I always envisioned you being more romantic when you asked me to undress you.” The suggestive grin returned to Liara’s face.

Shepard sighed. 

At least Liara finally got some response. 

The duo quickly undid the clasps so Shepard could try out the Asari style armor. “Hmm, it’s light, but seems durable.” She took a few steps and squatted down. “I can move in it. This will work if we can get it in my size. Oh yah and a different color, I don’t like green.” Shepard was twirling in the mirror, looking at her reflection from all angles. “It’s going to take some getting used to wearing armor this form fitting though.”

Liara decided to take another approach. “I am sure Traynor will enjoy the view.”

Shepard stopped and eyed Liara in the reflection. “Traynor, what does she have to do with this?”

“My dear Shepard, our new assistant finds you quite attractive. Her mood was rather … frisky … during the interview.”

“Yah, well, Alenko asked me yesterday if you were available.” Shepard began undressing quickly as she noticed the time. They had an appointment soon. 

Liara helped her re-snap her heavy suit back on with haste. “He will be disappointed. He is not my type, not by a long shot.” If Shepard noticed her grinning again, she hid it well. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“So, how long did you have to wait for your appointment with The Consort, Liara?” Shepard had heard of the famous Citadel Consort and knew it took months to get an appointment. Honoring her word to respect Liara’s privacy, she resisted asking the one question she really wanted the answer to.

“She has known me since I was a baby; I have an open invitation.” Liara was hoping to pique Shepard’s curiosity, waiting for her to ask the reason for the visit. The human said nothing the remainder of the walk, much to Liara’s disappointment. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Consort’s chambers were nothing Shepard had seen before. The familiar smell of cerise permeated her senses as she eyed the furniture choice. A long curved sofa adorned one side of the room while a purple circular domed bed decorated the other. The walls were a plain neutral color featuring horizontal slotted windows highlighting the starry sky

Liara and Sha’ira walked towards each other, joining hands and leaning their foreheads together in a traditional Asari display of affection. “Little Wing, you have grown up and blossomed into a beautiful young maiden.” The consort still held onto Liara’s hands as she took one step back. 

“Sha’ira, you are too kind.”

The elder Asari released her grip and glided over towards Shepard with a curious gleam in her eyes. “And who is your human?”

“This is my friend. Shepard, I want you to meet Consort Sha’ira.” Liara watched with a slight pang of jealousy as Sha’ira approached the human. Shepard actually appeared to fidget for a moment.

Her delicate hands caressed the shoulder plate of Shepard’s armor as she bent her face close to Shepard as if taking in her natural scent. “The pleasure is all mine.” She pulled back, staring down Shepard like delectable dessert before gliding over to her couch, never noticing Shepard nod her head. Turning her attention back to the other Asari, “What can I do for you Liara?”

Liara smiled at Shepard, “Will you excuse us please Shepard?”

“I’ll be downstairs.” Shepard exited quickly, a deep pensive look on her face.

“Your friend is interesting Liara. Come, sit.” They each settled into the cushions, an adjacent table already prepared with refreshments. “She is very difficult to read. Only for a moment I was able to read her and I did my best to instigate a response.”

“She has a lot of barriers in place.”

“You are right about that little one, she is very strong willed. But you did not come here just to talk about your human did you?” Sha’ira offered Liara a glass flute.

“That is most of the reason actually, yes.” Liara felt the warmth overtake her cheeks. Even though Sha’ira was the consort and expert in matters such as these, she was still someone Liara had known as a child and more importantly was also a confidant of her mother. It made her blush. “I want to get … closer with her.” Sha’ira did not respond, giving Liara time to gather and present her thoughts. “I find her very attractive. Everything I have tried has not worked.”

Sha’ira leaned back. “What exactly you have done?” 

Liara placed the glass down. “Well I have tried looking innocent and grasping onto her arm as we walk. I have tried flirting with her both obviously and subtly. I have tried catching her coming out of the shower. I asked her straight out today if she was staring at my breasts. I even tried to get a response by telling her someone else found her desirable. Most times she ignores it or laughs it off.” Liara stood up and began to pace. “She keeps me at a distance even though I believe she is also attracted to me.”

“She is attracted to you. I saw how she looks at you. The one response I did feel from her was a slight panic. But it was more about you seeing her close with someone else more than it was about me invading her space.”

Liara felt a slight amount of relief at her affirmation. “Then what do I do?”

“Tell me precisely what you mean when you say you want to get ‘closer’?”

Liara thought for a moment. “We have only known each other a short time and she has become a good friend; she is beginning to open up herself to me.” She paused, trying to find the right words to convey what she wanted. “But a part of me, a very large part of me wants to be intimate with her in every way possible. I want to be more than her friend.”

“Have you joined before, Liara?”

“No but it is something I have thought about lately, I am still unsure. I know I want a physical relationship with her to go along with the friendship. Does this even make sense? I think my lack of experience is showing.”

“It makes perfect sense. You are a maiden and this is when you should explore. Have you had physical relationships before?”

“No, I have spent the last 40 years mostly isolated on digs.”

Sha’ira nodded. She could appreciate young love, even if Liara had no idea that is what she was describing. “Think of Shepard as a fortress Liara. She has layer upon layer of walls with her most precious things in the center. It sounds like for her, this is intimacy. You said you had success building a friendship with her. Perhaps you should use less pressure, stop with overt flirtations for now, and just build her trust.” Liara sat back down and leaned against the soft cushions of the couch. “If you bombard her walls, by the time you get half way through she may have decided to find a new fortress. If you give her time to let you in on her own, she will be waiting. I counsel patience little one.”

Liara sighed. This was not what she wanted to hear. She usually got what she wanted, when she wanted, one way or another. “And once I do get to that point. How do I … please her?” She had seen many vids on the extranet of course, but the Consort would be a much more reliable source of information.

Sha’ira smiled. “That is a much simpler answer. Asari and human female anatomy is very similar especially in the important areas of sexual pleasure. Have you learned to gratify yourself, Liara?”

Once again, Liara felt the heat return to her cheeks and she resumed her pacing. “A lot in the last few days especially.”

The Consort chose mercy over toying with Liara at this point. She had always liked the girl from a young age, such a big heart paired with the determination of her mother. She pleaded with Benezia not to spoil her knowing this would be the outcome, having sensed Liara’s resistance to her council of patience. Shepard was not the only one with a strong will in this relationship. “Let me share some of my knowledge on human sexuality with you. Sit down little one.”

Liara took position next to Sha’ira as the Consorts eyes faded to black. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The walk back to the dock was marred with silence. Shepard was not sure what to say, wondering what took Liara so long in the Consort’s chambers. She tried to tell herself that as a friend, Liara should confide in her, forcing herself to believe that was the reason it was bothersome. Shepard was determined to respect her privacy though, as she said she would. 

As they approached the airlock, Conrad Verner, the so-called Alliance Black Ops Specialist who could not reassemble a pistol, was waiting for them.

“Go on ahead Liara, I’ll be right in.” Liara did as Shepard requested as her bodyguard took position across from Verner. 

“How can I help you Conrad?” Shepard knew she was speaking to a man with a family, a man who should have a reason to want to be home every night, a man who should be happy he had someone to go home to.

“Shepard, you need to reconsider. I learned how to put my weapon together. I want to travel, learn from you. I will be a great student.”

“I’m sorry Conrad, I can’t do that. I’m not some instructor at the academy.”

“But Shepard, please. Sign me on as another bodyguard.”

“Conrad, go home to your wife and kid. This is not the life for you.” Shepard turned her back to head towards the airlock. The air boomed with a series of pops as her small frame was knocked over into a heap, her shoulder aching from repeated blunt force. She had been shot in the back at point blank range. 

“I bet you think I can handle it now.” She barely heard him or the voices of C-Sec officers approaching from the other direction over the slight ringing in her ears.


	8. Chapter 8

Title courtesy of the wonderful Pink.

Chapter 8 – You’re ….. Perfect to Me

The Citadel

Shepard reached for the alert on her Omni, calling Liara and Garrus to her location as the C-Sec officers arrived. “Go, get him. I’m fine.” She didn’t feel the burning shear from a bullet wound, her armor had done its job to protect against such an out of date weapon. Had Conrad owned a real Carnifex like he claimed, she would be bleeding everywhere.

_What a fucking idiot I am._

Thankfully, the ringing in her ears had already begun to fade due to the upgraded shield mods she had just purchased. Noticing the airlock sliding open, she saw Liara break into a run with Garrus and Kaidan in tow. “Goddess, are you hurt?”

“I’m fine, nothing penetrated. Fucker shot me in the back. C-Sec is after him down the dock.” Shepard put her face down, silently continuing to berate herself.

“On it.” Garrus grabbed Kaidan and ran down towards the commotion in the distance. 

“Shepard, talk to me.” Liara had knelt beside the top of her head, tossing her baby soft ringlets of hair in a display of affection. 

Shepard rolled over gingerly into a sitting position barely withstanding the throb radiating from her back, but facing away from Liara. “I’m fine.”

Liara immediately maneuvered next to the human establishing eye contact. “Do not turn that switch of yours on and shut me out. I thought we were beyond that.”

Suddenly Shepard felt like she was five years old again, being scolded for breaking something. “I’m sorry, you’re right.” Her eyes fell down into her lap. “I’m a moron Liara. I turned my back on an armed man and got shot. I’m supposed to be better than that.”

“Shepard he obviously did not mean to kill you or else you would be dead. He would have just shot you in the head. It looks like all the bullet holes are in your shoulder near no major organs.” Liara had seen the gaping holes in the armor when Shepard flipped over. “If you thought you were in real danger, you would not have turned your back on him. That I am sure of.”

Shepard once again could not argue with Liara as much as her stubborn streak wanted to. “Sometimes I hate that you are so logical.” She lifted her head and smiled weakly, but it was a smile none the less. Lifting her one good arm up, she extended her hand to Liara. 

Liara stood and pulled Shepard up from a sitting position, perhaps using a little too much strength, and bumped their bodies together. The throbbing pain Shepard felt muted into a cloud as their eyes met, their lips just inches apart, and both held their breath. Shepard had only felt like this once before, right before she tried to kiss Ashley, right before all hell broke loose. She released Liara’s hand but could not bear to look away. 

Much to Liara’s credit, she was trying to follow the advice Sha’ira gave her, not leaning in to do the one thing she wanted to do most of all at that moment. 

The swish of the airlock broke the battle of wills Shepard was having internally and she stumbled back. “Shepard, are you okay? You are bleeding.” Samantha Traynor, one of their new assistants had run out to see why everyone rushed to the airlock oblivious to the moment she just interrupted.

Liara maneuvered around to look, a stream of red seeped from a crude gash where her armplate snapped into her chest. “Let’s get her to sickbay.” Liara quickly put Shepard’s good arm over her shoulder, holding it in place letting the human know not to protest one iota while laying claim before Traynor got any ideas.

The trio made their way to where Oriana Ryan, genius, medical doctor, and biologist, was waiting after a quick alert from Traynor’s Omni. “Get her armor off so I can see the damage.” Oriana aspired to work on a colony, helping those wanting to start a new life and Liara’s voyage was the perfect way to gain experience before venturing out on her own. Her medical degree filled a much needed void on the crew as well.

Traynor began unsnapping the chestplate while Liara carefully worked on her damaged vambrace. After Oriana closed the shutters on the windows, she lifted Shepard’s shirt over her head allowing it to hang by the one still attached armplate. Dr. Ryan examined the injury; her touch was gentle. “It’s only a flesh wound. It’s not as bad as it looks.” The doctor began cleaning and treating the gash. 

Shepard had been thinking about the moment with Liara as her injured shoulder was attended to. The urge to kiss her battled with the fear of rejection and loss. Shepard would have responded had Liara leaned in first, her resolve was that weakened by the longing she found in those blue eyes. But she didn’t, and there had to be a reason. The only one Shepard could see was that Liara wanted to just remain friends. Her flirtations were nothing more than innocent banter. 

“Your back is already starting to bruise and you are going to be sore for a few days. Try not to move your arm too much; it will help with the pain in your shoulder.”

“Thanks Dr. Ryan.” Shepard had attempted to pull her shirt back over her head with her one good arm and fumbled miserably. 

The doctor saw the grimace on Shepard’s face as she struggled with her shirt, happily responding with assistance. “Please, call me Oriana. Do you want something for the pain?” 

“No.” Shepard’s response was instant, as if something taboo had been suggested. Realizing her hastened response, she softened her tone. ”Sorry, adrenaline is still running high, didn’t mean to snap. Can I get some extra medi-gel and a bandage? I need to take a shower and get the rest of this blood off.”

Liara had noticed Traynor eyeing up Shepard as she sat in her sports bra, feeling that familiar pit in her stomach that was becoming common when her new assistant was around. “Samantha, can you please take her armor down to the hold for repair?” Traynor nodded and gathered the pieces from the floor. “Come on Shepard, I imagine you have some concerned crew waiting to see that you are alright.” Grabbing the first aid supplies, Liara led Shepard out of sickbay into the crowd, Garrus and Kaidan included. The human headed for her quarters as Liara delivered and received a status report. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard was in the shower, enjoying the spray on her scalp, water running through her hair and down her neck. She hated feeling dirty, a left over reaction to living on the streets for much of her adolescent life. When she heard the knock, she knew it was Liara ready to pamper her. The Asari had as much of a protective streak as she did it seemed, always wanting to repay her escort the best way she could, with nurturing. This was not something she ever experienced before Liara. As much as Shepard hated appearing weak, she welcomed the attention and even craved it but only because of who was handing it out. No one else would have been allowed. 

She heard the door open and Liara asking if she was okay. “I’ll be right out.” She quickly finished washing her hair and realized the adrenaline was wearing off when she began to ache more intensely. As she dried herself off, she glanced in the mirror at the purple marks covering her right shoulder and upper back. The wound from the bullet graze looked like a simple knife slice and may even leave her a small scar. This one she would not wear like a badge of honor.

Liara was seated on her bed, medi-gel and bandages still in hand when Shepard entered the room. “I can’t put a bra on, the strap hurts too much. I’m not leaving this floor tonight.” Shepard knelt down in front of Liara and lifted the sleeve on her shirt. “Do you mind? I can get the medi-gel on myself but I’ll have trouble with the bandage.”

“I am happy to see you have stopped resisting help from me. Though I was getting used to calling you ‘stubborn’ all the time.” Liara had a gentle touch, careful not to cause any undue pain. “And you do not have to leave the floor. I will get dinner for you. If you behave, I may even keep you company.” Liara was trying to follow Sha’ira’s advice but still thinking about how she was so close to that first kiss. “Hmm, you are not just letting me tend to you because you need me to get your food, are you?” Liara had finished with the bandage and moved her shirt back into place. 

Shepard’s mouth opened as her good hand swooped to her forehead. “You crush my feelings doctor. How can you question my sincerity?” Liara could not believe the overdramatic display coming from Shepard. “Woe is me” said Shepard as she fell backwards, pretending to faint. “OW! SHIT!” She screamed and then rolled onto her side wincing. 

Liara sat looking at her in disbelief, shaking her head but smiling as well. “You realize that was incredibly unintelligent of you, falling on your shoulder like that.” 

Shepard was about to extend her hand to Liara for help standing and then decided better of it and stood up on her own, face contorted in pain. “Yah yah I know.” Shepard decided the best place for her was sitting in bed propped up by pillows. 

“You really should take something for the pain.” Liara helped Shepard situate the cushions until she was seated comfortably. 

“No, I don’t like taking stuff like that.” 

“Fine, be stubborn. I am not going to beg you. I am getting you ice though, no argument.” Liara retrieved an ice pack from the cooler and placed it between the pillow and the human’s shoulder before sitting back down on the bed.

“Ahhhhh.” The numbing power of the ice provided instant relief for Shepard. “So what’s the situation?”

Liara filled in the details from Garrus and Kaidan. Conrad was not immediately found and C-Sec was going to allow Shepard to have a statement delivered to their office before the ship left dock the next day. Liara had insisted on transcribing the statement herself for Shepard though it had more to do with keeping Traynor away than anything else. 

Tali had already started an electronic trace of any activities in hopes of finding Verner but Shepard wanted it stopped. “He has a family, let C-Sec deal with him. No interference or assistance.”

“Shepard he is clearly in need of psychological help.”

“Liara ….” Shepard sighed. 

“If he ended up hurting someone else or worse, even his own family, you would feel guilty and you know I am right.” Liara walked over to the desk and wheeled it in front of the bed while Shepard pouted. Once again she knew Liara made sense, but this time she was not going to admit it. "Okay, we have time to watch a vid before dinner and since you are the one that was shot, you choose."

They were both happily ignoring the elephant in the room. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Some of the crew decided to spend the evening at Flux, enjoying their last night before the journey to Therum. Liara ordered take-out for the pair, choosing to try out a Japanese style place based on Earth cuisine as she was growing to like most of what she sampled from Shepard’s home world. The food was spread out on the bed between them and Shepard was demonstrating how to use chopsticks for the third time to Liara who had already decided a fork was much more practical.

“Can we talk for a moment? There is something I want to tell you.” 

Shepard dropped the chopsticks and looked at Liara seriously, almost a bit frightened at what she was about to say. 

“When we met I told you there was more to this trip.” 

The human nodded. 

“I am trying to locate my father.”

“Do you know who your father is?”

“No. That is the problem in more ways than I can count. Benezia will not tell me anything. It is the main reason we started to drift apart. The more I asked, the less she was around. She sent me to boarding school when her gifts were not enough to keep me at bay. She gave me everything I asked for, except that one piece of information.” Liara showed vulnerability less often than Shepard. She was taught to remain calm and in control at all times, helping others but never letting anyone else know about the storms that brewed inside her. 

“No one else apparently knows either. It is one thing I asked Sha’ira about today.” Well they did discuss it, for about two minutes. “She is one of Benezia’s closest friends but she once again swore to me she does not know as she has always insisted, though I am sure she could lie convincingly if she chose to.” Liara paused, noticing Shepard still hanging on her every word. “No, she does not know. Benezia does not want me to know, and I do not understand why.” A glaze of moisture began to cover Liara’s crystal blue eyes. 

Shepard took Liara’s hand into hers, rubbing her thumb along her knuckles while the Asari wiped her tears with the back of her other hand. “I am so sorry.” 

“Does my father not want to be around me? Am I pureblood?” A pureblood was something frowned upon by Asari in the dark corners of idle gossip, two Asari parents added nothing to the race in the form of DNA. “Goddess what if I am part Hanar or Elcor?” She shook her head dismissively. "No no, my mother is too much of an aristocrat for that." She sighed "I have wondered if my father even knows or has Benezia kept _me_ a secret.” The tears were streaming down her freckled cheeks. “Shepard it haunts me.”

“Are you sure you want to know Liara?”

“That is the logical question is it not? It all comes down to why Benezia has kept this secret. I told myself that I was better off not knowing. But I do not trust her. She stopped being a mother to me when I was very small. She is protecting herself with this secret, not me." Liara began nodding her head. "Yes I am sure I want to know.”

“Then I will help you every way I can. Just tell me how." Shepard squeezed her hand. "I know what it’s like to have only one parent and a shitty one at that.”

“Tell me about them, please?” Shepard always found her voice the most soothing and compelling when it was barely above a whisper. It was a siren’s lure to the human.

“I don’t know who my father is. Hell my mother claimed not to know and I actually believe her. She thought finding some guy to shack up with was better than getting a job. Every few months, it was someone new. They paid the rent, she fucked them in return I guess. I was too young to understand when she finally took off and left me.” 

Liara’s second hand at some point had cupped Shepard’s and her other, holding tightly. 

“They were fighting one night. The next day I came home from school and everything was gone. I was 11. I stayed in the apartment until the end of the month. Snuck in to the school basement and slept there for the next few weeks until they found out. By that time I had learned how to drain accounts but no one respectable would rent to a kid. So I stayed in bad places in the bad part of town. Luckily with a name like mine, it was easy to pass myself off as a boy for a while. Kept the perverts away for the most part until I started to grow up. The knife kept the rest away.” 

Shepard wanted desperately to stop. She was about to enter a part of her life she did not share with anyone. At some point she had unknowingly turned away and her eyes were glued to the corner of the room. She felt a fingertip on her chin, guiding her head to turn back where it was originally facing. “This is about you Liara, I’m sorry. I took over the conversation.”

“No, I asked you to. I do not feel like I am the only one with problems when we talk.” Liara sighed. “That was not what I meant. I do not mean to insinuate …”

“It’s okay Liara. I know what you meant. My childhood is one big disaster. I guess misery loves company.”

“So what happened then?” Liara was not going to let Shepard off so easily with a distraction.

“So one day I saw her. I was 13, scared, and finding it more difficult to live on the streets when you have boobs. In a moment of weakness, I went to her. Hoping she would take me back, protect me, and she invited me to her place. She told me everything would be okay and I could help her since I was all grown up. I had already given her all the creds I had on me. Next thing I knew I woke up in a chair with her latest live in stinking of booze, telling me to put out. When I said no, he backhanded me and busted my lip…” Liara looked horrified. “And I killed him. I stabbed him in the leg and then the side and he bled like a stuck pig. It was the first time I killed anyone.” 

Shepard instinctively began to withdraw her hand which made Liara only grip it tighter. “So what did your mother do?” Shepard was hoping Liara was going to assume the story had ended but it was not her lucky day. 

“Are you sure you want to hear this?” She was not sure she wanted to tell her. 

Liara nodded. “It is too late to stop being your friend now. You have nothing to worry about.”

“She came in and screamed at me, saying I killed her ‘meal ticket’ and that’s what women do to survive and I had better learn quick. Oh yah and apparently she sent him to me.” Shepard looked towards Liara for any sign to stop, hoping there was one. “She met the same fate but her death was quicker, I was angry. And Liara, I don’t regret it, not now. I did a lot of things I do regret and spend my life trying to find a way to escape being a monster." 

She paused, reliving the moment when she realized the amount of blood covering her hands and drenching her clothes. "I was crippled with guilt back then, but now, no way in hell. I would do it the same way. I’m sorry if that ruins the image you have of me.” The silence hung in the air while Shepard waited for some response.

Liara moved the food off to the side, turning around to sit next to Shepard against the headboard leaning into her good arm. “We make a good team.” Having turned her head to the side, she watched the human crack a smile. “I would have killed them too.” She kissed her lightly on the cheek much like two sisters would and excused herself to the bathroom. 

Once again Shepard found herself a little shocked by Liara’s reaction. _She never ceases to amaze me._ The smile then spread completely across her face.


	9. Chapter 9

Title courtesy of Avril Lavigne.

Chapter 9 – Things I’ll Never Say

The Citadel … still

Shepard was sitting at her terminal, searching for some new morsel of old Earth music, passing the time instead of lying in bed staring at the walls. Every time she fell asleep, she would shift and wake from the pain in her shoulder which seemed to get worse as the night progressed. After ignoring the blinking light on her terminal for the previous few hours, Shepard finally opened her messages.

To: Shepard

From: Sun Tzu

Apollo’s Café

10:00

She glanced at the time, realizing there was still four hours until the meeting. Liara would be excited to find out their master thief had set up a meeting but since she kept her up late the night prior, she wanted to let the doctor sleep. In fact with most the crew at Flux the night before, she doubted anyone would be up early, as they were not scheduled to leave for Therum until 11:00. Shepard instead sent a message out to all crew, notifying them of the delay in their departure and decided to take a shower. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara was seated at Apollo’s café waiting for her escort to return from the bar. Shepard carried a single pistol around her waist, sporting a hoodie and cargos instead of armor. Her shoulder and back could not support the weight without great discomfort and she once again refused any medication. 

“That bartender just asked me if I wanted to go into the back room with her.” She also mentioned something about Matriarchs being a much better fuck than Maidens but Shepard didn’t see the need to inform Liara of that detail. “I showed no interest in her or The Consort for that matter. I don’t get it.” She realized as the words left her mouth that she didn’t want Liara to think she was referring to her. Those flirtations were not lost on Shepard, not at all. 

“You really do not know, do you?” Liara had felt the honest confusion in Shepard and blurted the words out, not realizing she may end up having to explain. When the human shook her head back and forth, Liara looked down already regretting the conversation. “Forget I said anything.”

“Liara ..”

“Okay fine, but only if you promise not to get all distant on me.”

Shepard nodded. 

Liara carefully chose her words. “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? I am not surprised that anyone finds you attractive.” Liara hoped that was not too forward, she wanted to follow Sha’ira’s advice as best she could. A red glow was overtaking Shepard’s face. She had never seen the human blush before and could not take her eyes away from the sight. 

“Thanks.” Shepard was not used to taking a compliment of this nature. She swallowed hard, realizing Liara may have just called her attractive. 

“Were you and Aria ….?” The Asari let her words hang in the air. She recalled how Aria had talked about her former charge and noticed Shepard did not mention Aria’s name in her listing of unwanted advances.

Liara’s blue eyed gaze had been giving her goose bumps. Thankfully just the mention of Aria was enough to kill any sexual thought Shepard was fighting. “No, never. She tried regularly, but casual fucking is just not me. I never thought of Aria like that. I’m attracted to those who are strong but with a soft side. Just ... no.”

Liara realized she may be chasing after someone who was taken, the thought just never occurred to her before this. “Is there someone special on Omega?” She was being thoughtful with her tone and words, but the curiosity was driving her.

“No” She twirled the glass around in her hands. “I never found anyone I liked well enough to be … intimate with.” The blush returned in full force.

Liara was relieved that she was not fighting for affection, well with anyone but Samantha Traynor but that should not even be considered a battle by any means. “Do not blush. I have not either.”

“Really?”

“Are you insinuating this shocks you?” Liara looked genuinely offended.

“Oh no, no I mean...” Shepard sighed. “Now who’s turn is it to have something come out wrong. You are over 100 years old is all. I’m 22 and at my age it’s rare. Sorry, the age thing confuses me sometimes.”

Liara lightly grasped her friend’s hand. “I was joking. I guess you are doing a good job with my lessons on teasing.” She then quickly removed it, remembering the advice she was determined to follow. “I used to practice kissing with my friends. And then at college we would knowledge meld and exchange images but nothing physical. Asari do not require physical contact for a true join. Sometimes it is just a spiritual bond.”

Shepard tilted her head, looking perplexed. 

“Although I do not understand why anyone would not want to experience both at the same time...” It was now Liara’s turn to blush. “I have never done either. I have been mostly alone for decades.”

Their momentary and slightly uncomfortable silence was interrupted when two figures sat themselves down at the table. “Shepard I am curious,” addressing himself to the other human, “how did you know that the lure of books would attract my attention?” Keiji Okuda sat down next to Liara while his female companion occupied the seat between him and Shepard. When he asked his question, he glanced towards Liara right at the very end of his sentence.

“I have a very reliable source of information.” Shepard could not shake the feeling she had seen his companion before. 

“Dr. T’Soni,” The master thief’s gaze did not leave the Asari. “A military operation involves deception. Even though you are competent, appear to be incompetent.”

“Though effective, appear to be ineffective.” Liara nodded her head, smiling and finished his quotation without pausing.

“This is my companion, Kasumi Goto. Is there somewhere we can talk privately?”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

While Liara and Keiji were in her office discussing the finer details of the heist, Kasumi was administering upgrades to Shepard’s Omni in the human’s office. “This is going to give you the ability to turn your Omni into a blade. It’s useful for places like Noveria where they forbid weapons.” Liara had made the upgrades part of the deal for the priceless tome. “I’m also installing a temporary stealth program for you. It will keep you hidden for a short time.” 

Shepard had immediately taken a liking to Kasumi. She was an easy person to be around having such a light and playful demeanor. She wore a red outfit complete with hood, resembling some sort of space age ninja. “Kasumi, have we met before? You look familiar.”

“I would hope so Shep, I’ve been watching you for days.” 

Shepard shook her head and laughed, it was becoming a common response as of late. Just a few weeks ago she would have been too uptight to smile at situations like this. 

The thief continued, “How long have you and Liara been together?”

“Together? We’re just friends …” Shepard nervously scratched the back of her neck. 

“It explains why you didn’t kiss her yesterday before your assistant showed up.” Kasumi was still working frantically on the upgrades. “How is your shoulder by the way? There's no defense against crazy and that guy was crazy.”

“It’s sore but healing. I guess he was just trying to prove to me what a badass he is because I wouldn’t hire him. In the end you're right, he’s just a nutter.” Shepard paused and delivered her next statement as nonchalantly as possible. “So what makes you think me and Liara are together?” 

“I’ve been watching you both Shep.” She handed the Omni back to Shepard. “Call it recon.”

“Liara doesn’t like me like that. We’re just friends.” _She didn’t kiss me and she has stopped flirting with me._

“I beg to differ. She looks at you like Keiji looks at me. She does like you like that, a lot.” Kasumi looked out the window as Liara and Keiji made their way to Shepard’s office. As they exchanged pleasantries and established lines of communication, Kasumi gazed towards Liara then nodded to Shepard making a kissing motion with her lips. Shepard glanced at the others, hoping no one else witnessed the gesture.

Liara and Keiji finished up their final details while Kasumi continued to smirk at Shepard. The thieves said their goodbyes then the couple left the ship. 

Kasumi’s words were still echoing in Shepard’s conscious. _What if she was right? No, she can’t be._ “So Liara, how did it go?”

“He will steal two microchips from us, make it look like they were destroyed in an accident so no one knows they are missing, and contact us when it is done.” Liara was rather smitten with herself. She brokered a deal with the best thieves in the galaxy and felt like she got the better end of the bargain. “I believe we are ready to depart for Therum.”

Shepard hit her commlink and sent message to Joker to begin departure sequences. “What are these chips for?”

“So I can better dig in the dirt.” Liara smirked to herself. 

The trading of the priceless book would not aid merely in the digging of dirt, it would allow them to scour the ruins deeper under the surface than any explorer had done before. The discoveries unearthed would potentially earn Liara the respect she longed for, and deserved long ago.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Somewhere in Space

“I am telling you, there is something going on with those two.” Tali was convinced. Mostly everyone was at the nightly get together in the mess hall where the crew let loose and pass the time while floating through space. 

“I asked Shepard if Liara was involved, just like you told me to Tali and she just shrugged her shoulders. No other reaction at all.” Kaidan was not convinced.

“Shepard has practically moved into her office.”

“I agree with Tali.” The normally quiet Oriana saw the two in sickbay together a few days prior, it was all she needed to be convinced. “Liara is quite watchful over Shepard.”

“At least the Asari has good taste...” Traynor’s words hung in the air, not realizing she voiced her thoughts aloud.

“Wait.” Kaidan looked perplexed. “Does everyone on this ship prefer women?”

The normally quiet Garrus began to laugh. “I do, you Alenko?”

“That’s not what I meant Vakarian.” Kaidan shook his head. “I still don’t buy it.”

“Trust me. We Quarians are stuffed onto ships with nothing better to do most of the time than get in each others business. I am almost as good at gossip as I am at engines.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing you aren’t a Krogan or else we’d all be walking around with bandages on our foreheads.” Shepard had somehow managed to sneak up on the group without advance warning. “I thought it was Twister night, I was here to watch.” Oriana and Traynor were the only two to understand what Shepard had just said, referring to a children’s Earth game and began laughing. The rest glanced around nervously; wondering how much had been heard. “Never mind, Earth reference.”

“Sooo, where is Liara at?” Tali was drawing out her words adding a slight exaggeration to her tone.

“Still in her office, nose buried in a data pad. So what’s the game?” Shepard had heard the entire exchange from around the corner. Others notice it too?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So much to prepare for and so many interesting fragments to scour, Liara never seemed to find enough time to do all she wanted. The need to sleep was so … inconvenient. _With how far we have evolved, one would think that the physical dependency on sleep would lessen or dissipate all together._ Illium would be the next stop on her personal journey to discover the identity of her father and she had located a few avenues to explore. 

“Hey, it’s getting late.” So engrossed in her own thoughts, she did not even hear Shepard enter her office. “Don’t you think it’s time to head to bed?” The escort sat in the chair on the other side of the desk and leaned back gingerly, protecting her shoulder from any undue pressure.

“I have a few more appointments to set up in Illium and then I have ….” 

“… to get some sleep before you push yourself to exhaustion.” 

Liara had no idea how Shepard managed to raise just one single eyebrow. She had tried to imitate the expression with her own similar markings in the mirror many times to no avail. _She is so … cute._ “And if I do not, what will you do Shepard?” Liara was feeling playful all of a sudden and flashed a toothy smile. 

“I will disable your terminal access.” 

“You would not dare.” Liara was mildly shocked at the response, chuckling back at Shepard.

“Try me. You have five minutes T’Soni and the clock is ticking.” 

_Why is she tapping on the back of her wrist?_ “Alright, I would not want you hurting yourself by pushing that disable button.” Liara went back to scheduling her appointments. “You and Kasumi seemed to get along well.”

“Yah, she’s cool. Did you know she had been watching us for days?”

“I assumed they would observe us before deciding to make contact. Keiji says he has never known anyone more observant or insightful than Kasumi. She notices every little detail according to him.” Liara kept her head down but felt a mild wave of shock from her companion, followed by indecision. She decided on the direct approach. “Why you are confused all of a sudden?”

“Your radar must be broken.” Liara felt nothing, Shepard cut off the emotion almost immediately.

“It may not work on you most of the time but when it does, it is never wrong.” She let her words hang in the air for a few seconds. “Is there something on your mind?” She stared at Shepard, using the same imploring gaze she learned from Benezia, encouraging her friend to reveal her thoughts.

“The other day on the docks ….” 

_Is she really going to ask me about that?_ “Yes?” She was desperately trying to stifle the anxiousness in her voice. 

Shepard fidgeted in her chair before standing and turning to face away from Liara. Her head tilted down and her shoulders slightly moved indicating a sigh. “Kasumi was watching us.” There was another pause from the human before she ever so slightly began shaking her head side to side. The next words escaped her mouth more quickly than the previous two sentences. “She actually saw me getting shot.” She turned around and was more pale than usual and quickly changed the subject. “Two minutes until I lock you out of your terminal.”

Liara held her disappointment from showing even though it took much effort on her part. _Give her time Liara. It has only been a few days._ “Alright, only one last meeting to confirm with an information broker …. now I am finished.” She stood up and headed for the door. “What are you doing?”

Shepard was tapping away on her Omni. “Your terminal access is locked for the next 8 hours in case you get any ideas about working from your bedroom.” 

Liara crossed her arms and stared at the human, pout apparent on her face. 

Shepard grinned at her, smug and arrogance all over her face. “What, you think you’re the only one who knows how to deal with stubbornness?”

Liara couldn't help but smile. _She is so … cute._ It was the most appropriate word she could find. _Just give her time_.


	10. Chapter 10

Title courtesy of Norah Jones.

Chapter 10 – The Nearness of You

Somewhere in Space

Therum was approaching and the newly assembled crew was excited for their first mission. They had found a good mix of skills to go along with diverse personalities and all seemed to be getting along well. Liara believed if she kept her crew happy with small luxuries and comfort, they would be willing to work harder for her to keep their position. Thus far, she proved to be correct. Without a lot of work needing to be done yet, Tali who was used to living on a ship, organized some activities to keep the others occupied. 

Garrus Vakarian, Turian, and former C-Sec agent had proven himself to be just as adept with the ship and vehicles systems as Tali was with electronics. He was also apparently quite the sniper and offered to give lessons to anyone interested as soon as they found a suitable place planet side. Shepard was grateful for Garrus taking the lead during the entire Conrad issue. He and Kaidan proved themselves worthy of future responsibilities of that nature. Liara had chosen her crew well and once again and made it easy for each to delegate tasks.

Oriana Ryan was the perfect assistant for Liara. She excelled at research and despite having achieved a medical degree at such a young age, was an eager learner excited for the opportunity to visit other colonies while gaining experience to aid in her current field of study, biology. Conveniently enough, she was also a biotic and Liara had taken the initiative to further her training. The two doctors found an immediate connection creating a productive working relationship.

Samantha Traynor was quite adept at her everyday duties as ships administrative assistant as well as assist Liara and Shepard with whatever they needed. She had a knack for finding the precise scientific mods to handle the simulations and calculations Liara needed for her work. Traynor also was very keen on getting to know the entire crew, one in particular. 

Shepard’s shoulder healed relatively quickly with only some light bruising and a small scab remaining. She also found herself inhabiting Liara’s office more than her own these days. Anything that appeared like work would do. But today she spent her time researching the mining company Eldfell-Ashland Energy who owned the facility they were currently headed for. They had graciously provided the blueprints of the dig site where EAE had uncovered some Prothean ruins that mysteriously the archeologist gained exclusive access to. She had to do nothing but show up and collect data as they had already handled all the excavation. There was a silent partner funding EAE’s operations on Therum and Shepard correctly deduced that partner’s last name to be T’Soni. 

Liara could emerge herself in research to the point of being oblivious to everything around her. More than once, Shepard had to remind her to eat or stretch her legs. Liara often murmured softly to herself while reading something particularly fascinating. The Asari siren call was absolutely intoxicating to the human.

Shepard was finding it more difficult to ignore her desires for Liara. Kasumi’s words were still haunting her. She had always been a master of self control since a very young age. Emotions were a danger on the streets and could get you killed or worse. But there was a woman clawing at her from the inside, wanting desperately to escape and quench her passion. Fear was the only thing keeping her caged.

Since the day on the docks, the moment they almost kissed, Liara had ceased her playful flirtations. She treated Shepard like a lifelong friend, someone to confide in, relax around. The doctor was doing exactly what The Consort told her to do and giving Shepard time and space. Their friendship continued to blossom and they were growing closer with each passing moment as Sha’ira predicted. They could sit together in the same room for hours not talking, yet the silence was never uncomfortable. The nights were the only time Liara let herself go, indulging in self gratifying carnal pleasure.

“Shepard.” Liara gazed over at her companion, clearly frustrated. “My terminal is not doing what it should be doing. Can you please help? It seems that pressing the same button repeatedly is not solving the problem."

The human laughed as she rose and made her way over, standing behind Liara and placing one hand on the Asari’s shoulder. “Let’s see.” She leaned in a little closer to see the screen, not realizing how her curves were pressing right against Liara’s shoulders, too focused on the problem with the terminal. 

Liara inhaled deeply, holding her breath in reaction to the blissful yet innocent contact. 

“Ah okay, here’s the problem.” Shepard pressed a few buttons and the terminal seemed to be back in working order. Taking a few steps backwards, she started stretching her still healing shoulder, grasping her elbow and pulling with her other hand. A beep echoed signaling a vid chat had been established and the human scurried to the monitor. 

_“Fucking Aria telling me she had no idea where you were. I knew the bitch was lying. Shepard, how in the hell are you?”_

Liara looked up from her terminal, amused at the characterization provided by the voice on the other end and relieved for any distraction from the tingling sensation that overtook her. She knew Shepard had been waiting for the link to go through since she received a message that an old acquaintance was looking for her.

 _“Wow, hair, never thought I'd see that.”_ Shepard had known Jack from her days running with the Reds. While she would never claim Jack was a friend, they had mutual respect and understanding. A powerful biotic having been locked in a lab as a child, she escaped to Earth and took to the streets seeking refuge from her torturous past. The only thing she had more of than piercings, was tattoos. 

_“Yah, ain't I fucking sexy? I need a favor. You're the only one I trust who can pull this shit off.”_

_“I’m listening.”_

_“I’m going to blow Teltin up, blow it fucking sky high. Before I do, I want to know who ran that shit hole so I can hunt each and every one of their asses down. Name your price.”_

_“On the house, you can owe me. Any ideas where to start looking?”_

_“Yah. There’s some small time group called Cerberus …”_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

FIREWALL BREACHED

FIREWALL BREACHED

DATA DOWNLOAD TELTIN 

TRACE ENACTED

TRACING

DOWNLOAD COMPLETE

TRACING

DISCONNECT

From: Shepard

Jack,

File is attached. I hope it’s everything you need. They detected an intrusion so be careful, they may be expecting you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara’s mind was caught in another time and place when she heard the chime on her door. “Come in.” She was lying on her bed, eyes staring at the stars above which provided the framework for her mind’s eye. 

“I see you’re wearing the clothes I got for you.” Shepard’s famous crooked sneer had returned. “And coincidently enough you look comfortable …”

“Yes yes, you were correct.” Liara slid to the side patting the newly vacated area of the bed next to her. Shepard had presented her with a few articles of human ‘lounging’ clothes, similar to those she herself sported. “For times such as these, they are more comfortable.” Liara always liked showing off her curves but somehow wearing these made her feel closer to Shepard. She also could not deny the softness of the fabric or freedom of movement. “Is something on your mind?”

“No, I just like talking with you Liara, no matter what the subject.” Shepard sat down cross-legged on bed, facing her companion. “I didn’t interrupt anything important I hope. You look … off.”

“I was just thinking of one of my former governesses.” Liara sat up, leaning against the back of her bed. “We need to find her. She is more likely to be forthcoming than some of Benezia’s other followers.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because she was dismissed from service for allowing me to dig in the park when I was a child.” 

“You’re kidding, right?” 

Liara glanced down, a reaction to the still raw memory of that day. “About digging for ruins?”

Shepard reached out squeezing her shin for a moment. “No, that’s actually pretty cute. Little Liara with dirt all over her hands and nose.” 

The Asari felt the affection seeping from Shepard. Ever since she let the human in on her secret, she seemed to purposely radiate emotions at times, a considerate gesture in the current mood Liara was trapped in. “Benezia did not think it was cute. The lecture she gave me, about how I embarrassed her...”

“Acting like a kid when you were a kid?”

“Yes, Erinya was only my caretaker for a very short time but she encouraged me to play and explore. When we left the park that day, she bought me my first archeology book. Someone had seen me, told Benezia, and the next day Erinya was dismissed.”

“The more I hear about her, the less I like her.”

Liara’s somber face cracked into a slight smile. “She has many followers, people who are loyal to her. Most do not know her as I do, or as you are beginning to.” Sharing intimate details of her childhood was not something Liara was used to doing. She had also learned the hard way not to trust. Shepard was taking a page from her companion, remaining silent in the hopes that Liara would continue sharing her story.

“When I returned to boarding school, I had a new instructor that took an active interest in me. After some time, I made the decision to confide in her about my plans to be an archeologist, about Erinya, and about my father.” Liara closed her eyes inhaling a slow deep breath, her head shook back and forth.

She felt Shepard’s hand once again on her leg. “What happened then?”

Liara opened her eyes and gazed into the warmth radiating from Shepard's own set of blues. “The next day when I returned from class, Benezia was waiting in my quarters to lecture me on the need for privacy on _T’Soni family matters.”_ The last three words were delivered with an attempted vocal impression of her mother. “Her spies were everywhere and from that point on, I trusted no one.” She smiled, thankful for the treasure she had seated across from her. “At least until I met you.”

“Do me a favor and meld with me.” Shepard smiled back at Liara, squeezing her leg. “I want to show you something.”

Liara nodded her head before her eyes faded to black and she gently entered Shepard’s consciousness. She was in Aria's office back on Omega, witnessing a vision of Shepard’s meeting with Benezia, feeling her immediate defiance when asked if she would report on Liara’s status. It lasted only a short time before the human pulled her mind away but Liara felt the undying loyalty resonating within Shepard’s core. 

Once the Asari’s eyes returned to their original blue, Shepard spoke again. “I only answer to you Liara,” her hand affectionately caressing the doctor's shin.

“I know, but actually feeling it, well ... thank you.” Even though the meld itself was shallow, barely touching Shepard’s mind, the shared emotions were intense. _Thank you Goddess, thank you for bringing her to me._

“We’ll find her, and your father. I have your back.”


	11. Chapter 11

Title courtesy of Taylor Dayne.

Chapter 11 – I’ll be Your Shelter

_Liara cherished this time more than any others. Each day Shiala would pick her up from school, take her for a fizzy drink, and then once home, Liara would be allowed to spend time with her mother alone. Benezia T’Soni promised her only daughter precious time every day to do whatever it was she wanted. Usually they played various games with the Matriarch always looking for opportunities to train Liara in life lessons. Today though, her daughter just wanted to talk._

_“If we are going to talk then we may as well practice meditation at the same time. Sit across from me Little Wing, just like Shiala showed you.”_

_Liara did as her mother bid, smile spread across her face. Sharing consciousness with her mother was a thrill, she felt how much her mother truly cared for her, she felt the purist form of love. Once their minds joined, all conversations became internal._

_‘Mother did you know that Tevana has two parents? Her father is Asari too. She made me promise not to tell any one else. She would not tell me why though. Is it because she does not live only with her mother?’_

_‘No dearest, many live with their bondmates, sharing a life together. But because Asari partners are usually a different species, many couples tend to live places other than Thessia. In Tevana’s case, there are those who are closed-minded to the idea of two Asari parents, frown upon it.’_

_‘Why mother? Why exclude our own species?’ Liara knew the details of Asari reproduction methods as Shiala had explained the basics to her during their private lessons._

_‘Their ridiculous belief is that by not including alien DNA patterns, we do not enhance our own species as a whole.’_

_‘Who is my father?’ Liara felt Benezia immediately break the meld._

_“Never ask me that again.” The Matriarch rose and headed out of the room. “Shiala, Liara is ready for her biotics lesson._ ”

Therum

If there was one word to describe Therum in Shepard’s mind, that word was “hot.” Put a heavy suit of armor on and it became almost unbearable and she could not wait to hop in the shower the very moment she returned from the ruins each day. Liara’s ship was parked at the main processing facility of EAE who tended to all of their transportation to and from the dig site as well as offering additional armed escorts. As usual, the power of Benezia T’Soni’s ample bank accounts produced results. 

On day one, Liara had seen the perspiration pouring from her escort who was constantly chugging water from the cooler to remain hydrated. She suggested what she thought was a logical solution. “Shepard, why don’t you put on my armor while we are here? You will not be as hot.” 

Apparently for her escort, bugs were more of a concern than the heat. “No way. If one of them lavapincers pop out, I am not losing an arm or leg to those claws. I’ll wear my heavy suit and deal with the sweat.” The four foot long Therum insects left her bodyguard a little unsettled even though Shepard insisted she saw one that looked to be twice the size. Thankfully, the deeper they traveled into the excavation pit, the cooler it got. 

After six days of gathering, scanning, and cataloguing, even Liara was ready to head to somewhere a little less remote and scorching. The data feeds to the ship were being run through programs by Traynor while Liara and Oriana did the field work. Dr. Ryan had also taken two days to survey the local animal and plant life with Kaidan anxious to provide an escort. Shepard stayed by the Asari’s side at all times but kept one eye open for local crustacean population. 

As Liara was taking readings of a small artifact she uncovered, she recalled the events of the previous day and began laughing to herself, quietly at first but the image already burned in her mind forced the volume to increase.

“What’s so funny T’Soni?” It was as if Shepard already predicted what the answer would be.

“Oh I suspect you already know.” 

Shepard sighed. 

Liara was never going to let her forget what happened even if she hadn’t snapped a few pictures with her Omni to mark the occasion. “So tell me Shepard, what did we learn on our first archeological dig?” 

The human remained silent, shaking her head while trying to prevent a smile from forming. It was funny, at least now. Liara had become a quick study on how to tease someone and more and more took the opportunity to show off her newly acquired skills. At least Shepard had gotten her to promise not to tell anyone else. This is why she graciously let Liara have her fun.

“We learned not to touch any mysterious buttons on control panels or else we end up in little blue bubbles, correct Shepard?”

“I didn’t touch it. My rifle bumped it by accident.” She remembered how she leaned back against the control panel, the tip of her rifle accidentally hitting a button. Next thing Shepard knew, she was floating in mid-air supported by some blue energy field bubble. Liara laughed and scanned a few images before releasing her prison but the few minutes seemed like an eternity. Since that moment, Shepard didn’t go anywhere near the control panel. 

“I believe that detail is unimportant.” Liara paused and giggled to herself, clearly enjoying the moment. “Having company on digs is much more entertaining than being alone.” She smiled at her bodyguard who surrendered a smile of her own in return along with a heavy sigh.

Liara noticed a sudden change in her escort’s expression, she looked alarmed. 

Shepard popped her Omni on and attempted to run some sort of scan. “The EAE patrol is late. He should have been here 10 minutes ago.” She peered around the cavern then clicked her earpiece. “Tali, Ori, have you seen the patrol lately?” The mining company had their own guards set up to patrol their property. They were reliable every day, every hour, up until now. 

The pair were excavating in a different part of the cavern, one floor down but able to be reached via commlink. “I didn’t notice them. Tali says she didn’t either.”

“You two get to us now, and be quiet and careful. I don’t like this.” Shepard hit the alarm on her Omni, hoping the signal would permeate the mining cavern and alert Garrus for backup. 

Shepard took Liara to a hidden vantage point where Tali and Oriana would emerge from the rarely used lift in the back of the mining shaft. 

“I think you are being paranoid again. Maybe the guards took a different route.”

“Benezia pays me to be paranoid Liara, remember? Better safe than sorry.” She breathed a sigh of relief when the other two appeared, unscathed even if a little concerned. 

“What’s going on Shepard?” Tali, having spent time off world scavenging for her pilgrimage, knew all too well the possibility of unwanted company suddenly appearing. The two arrivals squatted down near Shepard and Liara, hidden from view at most angles.

“These guards were like clockwork, and now they aren’t. We are going to take the back lift to the sublevel and walk out from there. Should we run into any trouble, Tali I need you to provide cover for Liara and Ori to drop singularity fields so we can pick them off. I only have my Carnifex and rifle so ammo is precious. Otherwise its slam and burn until Garrus and Kaidan get here,” hopefully. 

This was different from the jobs she did for Aria. Shepard had personal interest in keeping her crew alive; they were not just another mark to be protected. “Just follow me when I give the signal and stay in cover as much as possible.” 

Shepard began to creep towards the lift when they heard the grinding from the elevator at the other end of the cavern. She ducked behind a crate, but in view of her crew. 

Two towering silhouettes shadowed menacingly off red stone walls, creeping ever closer, assault rifles in hand. “Dr. T’Soni. There is an urgent message for you.” The voice echoed through the cavern.

As Liara started to stand up, Tali grabbed her arm and shook her head, understanding the possible danger they were in. Two figures donned in plain, unadorned armor were beginning to come into focus as they crept closer. 

Liking the odds, Shepard held a finger up towards the other three and remained in cover. “She’s down a few levels. I will tell her to meet you at the main facility.”

“Why don’t you come out and you can show us where she is.” Their footsteps were getting louder. 

“I don’t think so.” Shepard tossed a rock away from their location as a decoy and right on cue, the shooting started. 

Waiting for a signal from Shepard, the two biotics tossed singularity at the same attacker catching only one of them in a helpless state. Shepard and Tali fired shots at the floating man while the other scampered for cover. His limp corpse crashed to the ground, armor clinking as it heaped. 

Shepard waited for another break in fire before sprinting towards the flank, taking cover behind a rock formation. Holding out her arm, she activated incinerate on her Omni, a burst of flame shot out honing in on the assailant and drawing him out of cover. A few quick shots finished him off as his armor continued to glow from the heat, burned hair wafting in the air. “Let’s go.” 

The four entered the back lift and began the climb to the surface. The two doctors took cover on the sides of the cart as Tali and Shepard took high and low point when the door slid open.

“Remind me never to call you paranoid again.” 

Liara and Oriana both looked a little flustered but were remaining calm despite their lack of experience. They quickly made their way up to the main floor where they discovered six more assailants who were more concerned with the entrance than they were with watching the cavern behind them. 

Shepard signaled for the group to remain hidden around the corner while she figured out a plan to ensure their escape. This was not a group of trained fighters she had with her. While she had no doubt that her and Tali could handle the bunch, she did not want to risk the possibility of anyone getting killed due to lack of experience on the part of the two biotics. She knew she could not trust Liara to stand there and not try to help. Oriana would most likely follow her lead. 

Thankfully not too much time passed before Shepard heard a rifle shot followed by panic from the armed mob. “Garrus, watch the crossfire” she tapped at her commlink. Turning back to the others, “Liara target left, Ori right. And whatever you do, stay behind the wall as much as possible. Go.” 

Two flanks attacking with three biotics made quick work of the armed men and soon corpses littered the entranceway. The heated air in the cavern was absorbing the smell of blood like a sponge. Kaidan and Garrus joined the others, thankful to have arrived in time.

“Get these guys searched you two. Tali and Ori watch behind us, we have the entrance. By the way, nice headshot Vakarian.” Shepard was extremely impressed with the precision sniper shot that took down the first assailant. Apparently the ex C-Sec agent was the every bit marksman he claimed to be.

“You remind me of my sister Shepard, not too bad yourself.” Garrus bent down to search one of the bodies. “Odd, scans coming up negative on an ID. No armor markings … Alenko strip that one down and look for tattoos.” 

Shepard was pleased with the overall composure of the entire crew. Although she expected it from the more experienced members but Liara and Oriana had also kept their wits about them. One learns to handle stressful situations when training with Asari commandos or running a blood soaked emergency room she surmised.

“You aren’t going to like this.” Garrus had walked over with a data pad in his hand. “Not one bit.” 

Shepard glanced at the mission details with Liara looking over her shoulder. It was an order to retrieve Dr. Liara T’Soni alive and bring her to the rendezvous planet, everyone else was expendable.

“Goddess.” Liara eye’s squinted as if she was questioning what she had seen. 

“They have no identities, none of them. No adornments, no tattoos, it’s like they don’t even exist. This isn’t some small time merc group looking to squeeze credits. We saw their shuttle parked outside when we got here, they must’ve just dropped down.” Garrus shook his head. 

Shepard radiated comfort for Liara. “We’re heading back to the ship. You three …” she pointed to Tali, Kaidan, and Garrus “…search that shuttle and then find out what the FUCK is wrong with EAE’s security that it was able to land without notice. If they give you shit, drop Matriarch T’Soni’s name to the guy in charge. If they still give you shit …”

“Oh they won’t.” Garrus chuckled. “Will get you a report when we have all the facts.” 

Shepard hopped into one of the two shuttle vehicles parked outside and headed back towards the ship. Oriana was comforting Liara, who was now clearly shaken up.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“I hope this is important. I was in the middle of something.” Benezia T’Soni’s voice was singing with annoyance.

Shepard had disposed of her armor quickly in the corner as Liara placed the call to her mother, then sat on her bed out of view of the vid screen.

“Considering I was just almost kidnapped, I would think it was important enough for you.” Liara’s anxiety with the earlier encounter was noticeable in her tone since they made it back to the ship. With one sentence from her mother, it seemed to double. 

Benezia’s eyes glanced upwards, thinking outloud, “So my source was correct.”

“You knew mother!?” Liara was now livid. Shepard had never seen her like this before. 

“Not with any certainty. The information came from a new source. I did not know if they were reliable or not.”

“Why did you not warn me?”

“You would not take a squad of commando’s Liara. I gave you the best escort credits could buy.”

“You should have told me. I am your daughter.” 

“Then think like it for once Liara.” Benezia’s voice was cold and booming. “If your actions alerted the captors, my potential good source of information would be exposed and I would lose it. I have faith in your protector, do you?”

“Of course I do mother, that is not the point.” The anger was starting to melt into betrayal. Liara felt the tears start to well in her eyes. 

“Then what is your point Liara?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Good, maybe you are learning something then.” Shepard was starting to fully understand the animosity Liara felt towards Benezia. “I was hoping you had taken her as play thing by now.” 

Shepard lost what little color she had in her pale complexion as her jaw literally dropped open.

“Play … thing?” Liara was stammering for words as the conversation progressed. Most of the confidence she usually possessed had fled. It was no wonder Benezia had a different impression of her daughter than others. 

“Humans are more protective after bedding them, you should know this Liara. So have you yet?” 

“Send what ever information you feel I am worthy of receiving. Good bye mother.” Liara disconnected the chat, staring down blankly at the screen in front of her. She contained her tears until a pair of arms slid around ribcage, turning her into a warm embrace. 

Shepard eased the Asari’s head down onto her shoulder, holding her tightly while caressing the back of her neck. Liara began to sob as her hands gripped onto the sleeves of Shepard’s shirt. 

“Shhh, shhhh, it’s okay.” Shepard rocked her slightly back and forth, providing her safety while she felt most vulnerable. The tears flowed for a few minutes until the human felt Liara’s convulsions slow down.

“Now you know.” Liara was quiet for a few moments allowing her words to sink in. “I hate how she makes me feel.” Her hands maintained their grip on Shepard’s shirt. She felt exposed yet completely comfortable. “No one has ever seen me like this.”

“It’s about time someone did, beautiful. I’m just happy it was me.” They stood in silence a bit longer, each enjoying the sensation of their closeness. 

“Shepard, you need a shower...”

The human laughed, breaking her grip as she took a step back. “I let you cry all over my shirt and that’s the thanks I get?” 

“Sorry. I am still trying to feel normal. I did not mean …”

“Relax Liara, I’m kidding." She reached out and touched her hand briefly. "I’ll stay as long as you want, then I’ll go hop in the shower.”

“Go ahead, I think I am alright now.” As Shepard left the room, Liara laid down on her bed, wondering how it was possible her mother could keep using her, manipulating her. “Stop it!” She scolded herself aloud. Instead Liara replaced the negative feelings with the sound of Shepard’s voice, the word ‘beautiful’ echoing in her thoughts.


	12. Chapter 12

Title courtesy of Goo Goo Dolls.

Chapter 12 – Let Love In

_“How did you end up with them?” Shepard and Ashley were headed to an abandoned warehouse near the old stadium for an introduction with the leaders of the local gang. Shepard had followed Ashley one day as she left for ‘work’, learning the true source of her income was instead The Tenth Street Reds. She insisted on a meeting, knowing she needed protection and had a much desired skill._

_“My father is in The Alliance and keeps trying to prove himself to those jackasses no matter how bad they treat him.” She spat on the ground. “My mother decided she had enough of raising kids while dad was away so when I hit 16 she joined him and left me in charge of my sisters. They send credits back but it’s not enough. My sisters deserve better than second hand clothes and cheap food. They deserve the best of everything.”_

_“You would do anything to protect them.” Only when Shepard threatened to reveal her secret to Ashley’s sisters, did the older girl agree to bring her along. “I only have me.” She had something to prove to her recently deceased mother. She could make it on her own terms but she needed something more than a knife to do it. Hack a few accounts and in return she wanted the right to wear the colors and to learn how to shoot._

_Shepard often thought about Abby, Lynn, and Sarah after Ashley ended up in handcuffs._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Somewhere in Space

 _This is the best job in the world._ Samantha Traynor could not be more fortunate. A civilian science ship that paid her well and gave her ample shore leave between missions was great experience, while still giving her the opportunity to enjoy herself. Dr. T’Soni commanded complete dedication to any task she assigned, lack of commitment was not an option. In return, the times spent in port were frequent enough; work hard, play harder. 

Traynor liked the doctor, she was always friendly albeit a tad possessive of her escort at times. Shepard was another thing all together. Traynor got all hot and bothered just by looking at her. They had a few polite conversations in private, spoke a lot about work, but for the most part she hadn’t gotten to know the other human as well as she wanted. Today that was going to change. 

Shepard happened to be in her own office, quite the rarity these days. But no matter what Tali and Oriana believed, there was no sign of flirtation or physical affection between Shepard and Liara beyond friendship. The Asari may want something more of her escort, if jealousy was any sign, but there was no evidence of mutual attraction from the human.

“Shepard, do you have a moment?” Traynor had entered her office, noticing the dark haired human was leaning back in her chair staring at the ceiling. She chose her moment carefully, hoping she needed a distraction from work.

“Sure Traynor, what’s on your mind?” Shepard’s jet black hair contrasted with the fiery red shirt she was sporting. Two of the four buttons on her pullover were undone, not enough to show anything of interest to Traynor, much to her disappointment.

“Call me Samantha.” Traynor sat down on the opposite side of Shepard’s desk, dropping some data pads and a holo-board on the open surface. 

“Okay, Samantha. What’s up?”

“I picked up a chess board with a GUI interface the last time we were on The Citadel. Would you like to play? I can teach you if you don’t know how…”

“I know how to play, don’t worry.”

Traynor started the game, allowing Shepard to go first and eased into some polite chat, trying to get to know more about the striking young woman sitting across from her. Her face lacked any lines of age, she glowed of youthfulness. Occasionally Samantha had caught her gleaming at something Dr. T’Soni was saying as if in awe of her surroundings, much like a curious child. Yet she spoke like a Commander when it came to matters of business. If the stories of the Therum trip were to be believed, she apparently fought like one as well. 

She moved one of her castles into position, setting Shepard up for possible defeat in four moves. “I grew up on Horizon although I did attend Oxford back in England which is where I seemed to pick up this accent. Did you grow up on Earth or a somewhere else?”

“I grew up in Chicago, left there for Omega when I was 18.” Shepard stared at the board, contemplating her next move.

“I have never been to Omega. From what I hear I am not sure I want to. You worked for Aria right? Is she really like all of the rumors?”

“I guess that depends on the rumors you hear.” 

She was very guarded, noticed Traynor, revealing minor insignificant details but nothing much of substance about herself. She switched tactics.

“What do you do for fun?” She drew her words out slowly, pausing slightly longer before the final two words. Samantha faced down at the board but her eyes were peering across the desk, looking for any change in response at all. There was none.

“I’d say play chess but that’s not obviously the case. Been to Illium before?” Shepard eased back into her chair, leaning her head back, resigned to the fact that she was about to lose, but still keeping a close guard on herself. 

“No I have not but I am looking forward to it. We are planning to go shopping and see all the sites. Ori is going to show me and Tali all around, you know, girl time. You should join us, you and Liara of course.” She didn’t want to make it look like she was secretly hoping to get more time with Shepard away from her blue shadow.

“Unfortunately Liara and I have some business to take care of. It’s not all shore leave for us. We’ll see. The last time I went shopping with Tali she tried to get me into a dress.”

 _I won’t be trying to put clothes on you._ “Yes, she told us about your trip. I think your taste in clothing suits you perfectly.” She sat back, “check mate” smiling smugly trying to downplay the compliment she just delivered. No need to push too hard. 

“I was never very good at this.”

Traynor’s thoughts lingered on the idea of a dressing room seduction for only a moment before dismissing it quickly. She was not ready to reveal her long range plans, not yet “So if I promise to keep you away from the stores selling those Asari dresses, will you at least have lunch with us?” She was hoping for a two victories in a row. 

“If our schedule allows it but only if you promise to keep the dresses away from me.” Shepard pushed her data pad across the desk and smiled. 

“You have yourself a deal.”

“Thanks for the game but I need to get back to this.” Shepard turned back to her terminal as Traynor exited her office. 

_Win, win._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara shook her head and sighed. “This reference to ‘spring’ has me baffled…” The two doctors were pouring over the ample data results still compiling from Therum. Deciding to change the subject after one hour of looking at the same thing, Liara picked up a different data pad. “Are you looking forward to being home for a short while Ori?”

“It will be good to see my parents again. I haven’t seen much of them since I took the job at Huerta even though we talk regularly.” Oriana, much like Liara, liked to bury herself into science. She has this innate drive to exceed everyone else’s expectations even though she could never quite be as flawless as she drove herself to be. She admired Dr. T’Soni’s approach to research. “Liara, can I ask a favor? No hurt feelings if it’s not appropriate.”

“What is it?” She was wearing her usual white lab gear with blue trim, typical Asari clothing. Without the interference of Shepard, Oriana knew Liara would spend all of her time studying ancient cultures, similar to Oriana herself in regards to whatever her current focus was. Instead Shepard insisted she occasionally took time away to play cards or relax in her (or their) quarters relatively early. There was still much debate on the details of Shepard and Liara’s relationship.

“Is it possible to give my parents a tour perhaps, and introduce you to them? If you’ll be around that is. I know you and Shepard usually have errands to run, or other plans.” Oriana tried not to involve herself in the ship’s gossip after getting to know Liara a little better and especially after the incident on Therum. Shepard had saved her life.

“Sure, check with Shepard for a time and it would be my pleasure to meet them.” 

Oriana had numerous internships over her young career and Liara was by far the best mentor she could have asked for. Most of the others were helpful but guarded much of their knowledge or techniques, never wanting to be upstaged by the student. The Asari was different. She freely shared all she knew about archeology, other cultures especially her own, and her experiences with colony life.

Consequently, Oriana had started to feel a kinship to her fellow doctor, like Liara was the older sibling she never had. “Do you have any sisters Liara?”

“No. It was just me and my mother. You?”

“I was adopted when I was a baby, a fact that was never hidden from me. I am an only child. Someone had made financial preparations for my education, I always wondered why, and who it was I guess. The act seems contradictory in many ways.” 

Liara looked away from her data pad and turned her chair around, putting her entire focus on Oriana. “I can understand how confusing that seems. Did you ever try to find out? With your skills …” 

It was unusual for the Asari doctor to stop working just to have a conversation; she was a master as multi-tasking. “I tried, once when I first applied to medical school. Whoever it is, they are just as skilled as me. I have tried a few times since with no success. It’s a missing piece but as you know, my curiosity is part of what drives me to succeed.” Oriana paused. “Of course then I wonder what I would do if I did find out. My parents love me and I love them. That would not change.”

“You are very fortunate to have them.” Liara smiled, still keeping her entire focus on the other doctor.

“I’m hoping to spend time with them and Kaidan alone, maybe have lunch or something. We’ve only known each other a short time but I don’t know when we will be back in Illium either. I want him to meet them.” Oriana paused for a second. “How long have you and Shepard known each other?”

“It seems like forever.” Liara always had an extra glow to her when she spoke about the human, a twinkle in her eye, something completely intangible but obvious to those who know how to look for it. “She’s a good friend, I am lucky to have her.” 

_Should I ask or not? I don’t want to pry._

“You look like you have something on your mind.” 

Liara had a knack for knowing when someone was thinking or feeling something. _That is so eerie_. “No. I am just glad we got a chance to talk about something other than work.” Oriana decided to let the subject drop, despite her curiosity. 

“Me too. If you ever want help with finding your benefactor’s identity, let me know and I will gladly help you however I can.” Liara turned around and began looking once again at her data pad. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Shep, how’ve you been?” Kasumi Goto was lounging in her suite at the Hotel Noveria when she received the call alert. She loved reading old books and currently she was in middle of the latest acquisition. “Didn’t you get the update? Keiji said he sent it to Liara.”

“Yah we did. This is about something else.” Kasumi noticed Shepard glanced nervously above the screen, checking to see if she was being watched, before continuing. “I need your help.”

“I know that look Shep, saw it on the docks.” One does not get to be an expert ‘treasure collector’ without having refined observation skills. The best way to not get caught is through over planning and watching people.

“Are you sure? I mean, what you said to me, about Liara.”

“Yes I am.” They had been already near Citadel space when Keiji and Kasumi received word of a promising job. As soon as they were able to catch a shuttle, Kasumi began observing their possible newest employers. With the exception of one small trip to the Financial District, the two were always together in public. Each of them would sneak looks at the other, catching a secret glimpse whenever possible. The trip to The Consort was especially interesting, as Shepard looked slightly jealous. 

“What do I do? I mean, how...” Shepard sighed. “I’m ... new at this.”

“Ask her out to dinner, or dancing. And bring her a flower.” Young love was always so refreshing to watch. The stronger the feelings, often times the more tentative the parties were to act upon them, especially if they were inexperienced. “Then you tell her how you feel.”

“But are you sure? I can’t risk losing …” Shepard was rubbing the back of her neck again.

“Sheppy, I am sure.” Kasumi wanted to tease her about being oblivious and tell her how cute she was when she as nervous but the human was clearly struggling. “Just remember the flower.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard sat in silence, staring at the now blank vid screen, mulling over Kasumi’s advice. So much was at stake, so much to lose, but so much to gain as well. The sound of her door opening dragged Shepard from her reverie and Liara entered.

“You look like you could use a break my friend, you have been deep in thought all afternoon.” Liara sat down across from Shepard, easing back into the chair. 

“Just thinking about the Reds a little. Wondering when or if they’re going to come after me. You know me, always thinking ahead.” It wasn’t entirely accurate for her current train of thought but she had been thinking about it when Traynor entered earlier.

“Do you trust the information you received from Ashley?” Liara’s tone was careful, as if gauging her reaction to the mentioned name.

“Yes, she’s always been honest with me. I have no reason to doubt her.” Shepard smiled, remembering Ashley’s ability to be blunt when no one else would give her a straight answer.

There were a few moments of silence before Liara spoke, the volume of her voice dropping slightly. “Can I ask you another question?” The doctor leaned forward, lines forming on between her eyes, head tilting slightly down. 

“Sure.”

She took a breath, as if in preparation of what was to follow. “Do you still have feelings for her?” 

Shepard stared at Liara for a moment. _Be honest, don’t ever lie to her._ “I miss her sometimes.” She noticed the Asari’s shoulders droop slightly. _Good job Shepard, fix this fast._ “I was still a kid, it felt real enough at the time. I’ve … learned a lot since then.” _I didn’t know what love was until I met you._

Liara leaned back into her chair but remained silent. 

“I miss my friend sometimes but no Liara, those feelings went away a long time ago, long before we met.” 

Liara smiled and seemed to relax, much to Shepard’s relief. “You do not have to sit in here thinking and planning alone. You know you can talk to me about anything. We are a team you and I.”

Shepard grinned. “We make a good team, Liara.”


	13. Chapter 13

Title courtesy of Melissa Etheridge.

Chapter 13 - Mercy

Illium

_“Just tell me, and I will give you what you want, what we both want.”_

_I want you._

_“I thought you wanted it too. All you have to do is tell me.”_

_More than anything. Please Liara, just kiss me._

_“I thought you trusted me. I will not hurt you. I will be good to you.” Her voice dropped to a murmur. “I promise.”_

_“Show me.” I found my voice. All it took was that whisper._

_Her hands grasped my cheeks and pulled me close for a wet and hungry kiss. Her tongue running all over my teeth then her lips sucking on my tongue. My hands run around her stomach sliding …_

_Knock. Knock._

_What the hell?_

_Knock …_

… Knock. “Shepard?” Liara had stuck her head in the door, peering at the squinty-eyed human tangled in her sheets. 

“Huh?” Shepard was still lost in her dream, her entire body was electric. She looked at Liara, eyesight a little fuzzy still, standing there wearing one of her high necked, curve clinging dresses. She felt herself twitch slightly.

“You are usually awake by now. I am sorry. I did not mean to disturb you.” 

_Not as sorry as I am._ “It’s okay.” She glanced at the time and realized it was past 8am, she never slept this late. Her eyes were finally gaining focus and the vision of the Asari was breathtaking. Liara always looked so beautiful; waking up to this sight was something she could get used to. But the doctor looked slightly confused, uneasy even. “Something wrong?” 

Liara closed the door and sat down on the edge of her escort’s bed. Shepard’s white tank top, her typical sleeping attire, had ridden up, exposing her abdomen and two small scars. She tried not to linger on the image too long but she looked so ... inviting. “I just received a message from Benezia. She is wondering why your account is closed down and she can not make her deposit. She asked me if you left.”

Shepard had forgotten about that almost immediately after she made arrangements for her account information to change. “I’m not going anywhere. I stay because I want to. I refuse to take credits from her.” She was not taking _anything_ from anyone referring to her as a ‘play thing’. “She crossed the line.”

Liara reached over and stroked a few strands of hair from her eyes, always taking advantage of any opportunity to run her fingers through Shepard’s hair. “I was hoping you would say that. I told her I was taking care of your salary from now on. Give me your account and I will see to it that you are paid.”

“No Liara. I told you, I stay because I want to.” 

Liara stared at her, deciding if this battle with the stubborn human was worth the effort. 

Shepard turned her head to the side, looking up at the beautiful figure sitting next to her. “I will make you a deal, you pay for that armor you ordered for me and we call it even.”

“I was buying it for you anyway, remember?”

“Good we have a deal then.” Shepard smiled at her, looking all smug and self assured. “I’m staying as long as you want me around.” She resisted the urge to turn away, as she always seemed to do in these situations and held Liara’s gaze. 

The doctor leaned down towards Shepard, head still resting cozy on her pillow. Liara paused slightly, as if internally debating something, before kissing the human on the forehead, taking one more opportunity to run her fingers through her hair. “I am glad you are staying. Ori’s parents will be here in less than an hour. You may want to consider changing for the occasion.” 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The air felt good in her lungs. It wasn’t the recycled atmosphere of Omega or the hot thick haze of Therum. At this altitude in Nos Astra, the air was crisp and clean, reminding her of life back on Earth. There weren’t many pleasant memories associated with her home world but the invigorating breaths she took as she ran along the lake were one of them. 

Illium was for all purposes an Asari world without the official classification. Shepard was staring out over the railing just outside the Exchange. The skyscrapers were endless each with tiered balconies crowded with members of many races. Hovercars raced by, yet another sign of how popular Nos Astra was to tourists and the commerce crowd alike. There was practically no reason to carry weapons as murder was the only thing forbidden by law; cameras were everywhere. Shepard was “paranoid” though at least according to Liara, she still carried her Carnifex at her side.

It would have been easy to see herself as insignificant gazing out into the vast world around her. But she felt empowered after her encounter with Liara earlier. The dream was pure ecstasy, waking up to those blue eyes was reality and therefore much better in her book. Why was it the kiss on the forehead this morning, or the embrace the other day didn’t lock her up? It was still Liara, change the context to something deeper and all of a sudden it was like staring down the abyss of darkness and fear. _Could I be sure without a doubt?_ She knew it made no sense. 

“Shepard what are you wearing?” Tali approached from behind startling the human who was lost in her thoughts.

“Jeans. I felt like putting them on today for some reason.” She hadn’t worn them since she left Earth, hadn’t felt like it until this morning. She liked the way they fit her form, not the usual baggy attire she sported. More importantly Shepard liked the way they made her feel inside, confident and appealing. 

“You need more of those, much better than those cargo’s you run around in.” Tali took a spot leaning on the rail next to Shepard. “We’re going shopping again I hope? Sam told me she invited you and Liara.”

“Maybe, we have other stuff to take care of.” She knew they had a full schedule of appointments to attend to but it would be fun to spend time with Tali and the others doing something mindless. Traynor did offer to help her fend against fashion attacks as well. “How did the rest of the tour go? I just needed to get some air.”

“Ori’s parents were chatting up Liara. It seemed to be winding down. We’ve all been invited to their house tonight for dinner too.”

 _So tomorrow it is._ “Sounds good.” Shepard made the decision, at that moment before she even realized it. She would ask Liara out for tomorrow night and confess her feelings. Everyone seemed to think there was something more to their relationship, Tali, Kasumi, and even her own subconscious if that dream was any indication. 

“Wow so this is Illium.” Shepard had been distracted by visions of Liara that she did not hear an approach from behind for the second time. “The architecture is beautiful.” Traynor took her place on the railing, on Shepard’s other side, slightly closer than Tali. 

“Illium is just Omega with expensive shoes.” Shepard laughed. “Some Spectre told me that once but from this view it’s not true. Illium smells better too.” 

"Do I have to keep shoes away from you too or just the dresses?" Traynor faced Shepard, exaggerating her smile.

"We better include shoes just to be safe. Tali likes to shop." Shepard felt Tali swat her arm playfully before allowing the view of Illium to swallow her thoughts.

The trio stood silently gazing into the horizon and Shepard planned her strategy. She had to find a place to go and equally important, somewhere that sold flowers if she was going to follow Kasumi’s advice. Paying extra attention while they ran errands today was her priority. 

Liara’s voice brought her back to the present time as she turned to the echoes of laughing. Oriana and her parents were approaching, flanked by Liara who looked to be gliding effortlessly, at least in Shepard’s eyes. 

Shepard was overwhelmed with emotion this morning, determined to grab for more in this life. She looked once again at Liara. _I’ve been too long paralyzed._ Liara’s eyes met hers, and for the second time today the human did not quickly glance away. 

As the two parties met, Mr. and Mrs. Ryan extended their dinner invitation directly to Shepard who graciously accepted after a slight nod from Liara of course. She could not commit without making sure her presence was not requested elsewhere.

_Now to just figure out where to go, and how in the hell to get the words out of my mouth._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“The agreement was for an entire crew roster complete with itinerary. Dr. T’Soni was paying you well for this information Nyxeris, where is the rest of it?” Shepard was not pleased with the information broker, but she knew Liara must be seething inside. However this was Liara’s only lead, as all others the doctor contacted could not discover any information on Benezia’s whereabouts at the time of Liara’s conception. 

“I was misled to believe this was complete. It appears as someone took great care to remove most information surrounding the Matriarch’s trip.” The information broker was maintaining her composure despite a difficult situation; her reputation would be tarnished by not delivering on what she had promised. It did not take an empath to sense her embarrassment; it was obvious in the lines around her young eyes.

Liara stepped forward, slamming her hands down on the edge of Nyxeris’ desk. “You will be receiving one third the agreed upon price. And I highly suggest you verify your sources and information before you broker a deal based on inaccuracies.” She tossed a credit chit on her desk and turned around.

“That information is worth at least half of the price. It is more than you will get from anyone else. You should be grateful. Did the Matriarch not teach you manners?” 

_This Asari has Krogan balls … and shit for brains._ Shepard was not sure which form the storm that was Liara was going to take, but whether quiet or thunderous, but she was happy to not be on the receiving end. While Nyxeris thought herself to be following sound negotiating, Shepard knew how overly sensitive Liara was about her quest.

Quiet Dr. T’Soni slowly turned, hands beginning to glow with biotics but he voice remained level, albeit stern and cold. “You should be thankful I do not completely ruin your reputation after your failure. That should make the generous payment I already gave you worth your while. Unless you would like to settle this in other ways.” The glow became brighter but Liara’s posture still had not taken on an aggressive stance. Nyxeris did not scare her, or she at least wanted the broker to think she didn't.

“Very well Dr. T’Soni.” Nyxeris sat down at her desk. “If I find out any more information, I will be sure to pass it along, as a courtesy of course. Good day.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard was not as guarded today as usual Liara had noticed. In fact it was as if she was not guarding her emotions at all, purposely or not was the only unknown factor. She was uncharacteristically nervous but not distressed or upset. Every time Liara asked her if she was alright, she smiled warmly and offered an affirmative response. Whatever was going on, it certainly was odd behavior for her companion. 

They had just left the shop after picking up three sets of armor for Shepard, in burgundy, black, and grey which seemed to please the human. The couple was headed to a Baria Frontiers kiosk for some maps when Liara stopped and pulled her down onto a bench. “Shepard, talk to me. I know something is bothering you. Is it what Benezia said the other day?” Liara realized they had never actually talked about that entire incident.

“No, I dealt with that already as you know. I’m actually feeling good today.” Her hand made a slight movement then settled on back at her side. “So, I see these signs all around for Azure.” Shepard reached back to scratch her neck. “I was thinking we could go there tomorrow night. They sure make it seem like the place to be on Illium.” 

Liara began to laugh, not quite sure how to explain what type of resort Azure was to her companion. “Azure is a little, how do I say it, specialized when it comes to its guests and their preferences. It’s a slang term.” 

“Slang for what?” Shepard looked genuinely confused.

 _This opportunity is too easy to pass up._ Liara could not resist the temptation. _She looked so sexy lying in bed this morning with her tank top riding up, tempting me like that._ “You know the part at the 14 minute mark in Vaenia?” _If there is Asari hell, I am so going there for this._

“Vaenia? What makes you think I have seen Vaenia?” Shepard’s face went completely white.

“The interview with Joker.” 

“Just because I know what it is doesn’t mean I've seen it.” The human began rubbing the back of her neck. 

Liara stared at her, tilting her head to the side.

“Aria had it on one day when I was in her office.”

“You watched porn with Aria?”

“I don’t watch porn at all.” Shepard’s voice grew in volume with this statement, coincidently as two Asari maidens walked by. They tried to hide their amusement but their giggles were too loud to not notice. The color returned to human’s face in the form of a blush.

 _Technically this is not flirting._ “Oh please Shepard. You will admit your deepest darkest secrets to me but you will not admit you watch porn?” _It is just a discussion among friends._

Shepard looked down, her voice dropped to a whisper. “Okay fine I have seen it but I don’t know what minute marker anything is at.” She looked back up at Liara scrunching her eyebrows together. “How do you know the minute marker? How many times have you seen it?”

 _I am definitely going to Asari hell for this._ “I spent a lot of time alone on digs, remember? It gets lonely.” _And with my luck the only company I will have is Benezia._ “Do you need me to explain what part of the body ‘azure’ is slang for now? It gets darker the closer you …”

“I got it now.” The human was rubbing the back of her neck again as she cut her companion off mid sentence, still bright red.

 _Okay Liara, let her breathe._ The doctor reached over and poked Shepard in the arm, flashing a sweet innocent smile. “It is too much fun to tease you Shepard. You get so flustered.”

Shepard returned her smile and shook her head. 

“I know a different place that would be more appropriate. We can have dinner and then there is a club attached if we want to dance or just enjoy the music.” 

Shepard looked relieved all of a sudden. 

“More upscale than Afterlife I guarantee you.”

“Okay, then it’s a date.” She quickly stood up and took a deep breath. “Where are we picking up our order?” 

Her emotions became difficult to read once again. _Hmmm, she said ‘date’._

The couple once again began walking through Nos Astra. “The kiosk is just around this corner.” Liara came to a dead stop grasping Shepard’s wrist in the archway. “Goddess I do not believe it.” 

Shepard followed the trajectory of Liara’s vision to an Asari standing next to the Baria Frontiers kiosk. “Who is that?”

“Erinya.”


	14. Chapter 14

Title courtesy of Colbie Caillat.

Chapter 14 - Bubbly

_Liara was watching the clock, anxiously waiting for the appropriate time. So much had changed during that school year, ever since the first time she asked about her father. Daily play times were cancelled replaced with intense biotic and combat training courtesy of Shiala. Each time she asked Benezia about her father, she was sent off to a lesson and did not see her mother for days. She soon realized that when she did not ask the question for periods of time, she was rewarded with presents, anything she wanted or desired. It was such a convenient lesson Liara had learned but then again Shiala always said how gifted she was._

_This moment she had been planning since she learned how to build mental barriers during melds. ___

_‘If I know how to erect walls, I know how to tear them down.’_

_She made sure that she asked for and received every little thing she desired prior to this night._

_‘I will finally get my answers.’_

_Liara waited until precisely 12 minutes after the hour which would give her exactly 48 minutes before the chimes on her mothers clock would sound and possibly stir her from slumber. She crept into Benezia’s sleeping chambers as silent as she could be and walked to her bedside._

_Placing her hand ever so lightly on her mother’s leg, she entered her mind as gentle and unhurried as she could muster the control for. Benezia stirred for a moment, Liara held her position until she settled._

_‘All of these barriers. Find the most hidden and fortified one and begin there.”_

_She weaved through her conscious until she found one, hidden behind all others with a moving barrier similar to a wave of chainlinks as high as she could see. Shiala never spoke of this type in her lessons. Liara reached out to touch it, see what sensations she could absorb in order to develop a plan of attack. She then felt her mother grasp her hand._

_“Liara, you must NEVER invade someone’s mind like that.”_

_The next morning she was forced to witness Shiala’s lecture from the Matriarch on her failure in teaching the most basic of lessons on melds. Liara was then taken to enroll in boarding school for the first time._

Illium

Shepard dragged Liara from the middle of the archway, pulling her out of the pathway of the Nos Astra foot traffic. “I would say we’re lucky but I don’t believe in luck.” 

Liara’s eyes were still fixated on her former caretaker. 

Shepard joined both hands with the doctor, tugging on them to gain Liara’s attention. “Hey … do you want me to wait here while you talk to her?”

“No, we are a team.” She squeezed the human’s hands, “We must be careful. The chances that she is still loyal to Benezia are miniscule, but I have learned to never underestimate my mother.”

Liara casually strolled over to the kiosk to make her purchase while Shepard followed slightly behind, eyes fixated on Erinya. _She recognizes Liara._

The former nanny turned away from the doctor, hastily finding a data pad in order to look busy.

"Excuse me… can you please check if this is ... Erinya? Is that you?" Liara grasped the other Asari's hands when she turned around, attempting to impose her desired reaction into her former nanny. "I am so pleased to see you after so long. It is me Liara, Liara T'Soni."

"Liara, I did not recognize you after all this time." She pulled her hands away and clicked at the kiosk. "What was it you were asking about? Do you have an order with us you need help with?" The nanny's response was tense and extremely impersonal. 

“I was just wondering if my entire order was available for download but that was before I realized who you were." Liara's smile conveyed warmth and admiration. "I am very pleased to see you. I think about you each time I am excavating. Thanks to you I followed my dream and became an archeologist.” She grasped her hands again. "I have always wanted to say thank you and apologize for my mother's behavior. She should have not reacted in the manner in which she did. She had no right to dismiss you."

Erinya once again pulled her hands away and then turned back to the kiosk. "You were very young Liara. I am afraid your recollection is not accurate. I resigned for my own reasons. I was only employed for a short time with the Matriarch but I am grateful for all she has done for me." 

Shepard watched her fidget. _She is scared and she is lying._

Erinya continued. "Your order is complete. Is there anything else Baria Frontiers can assist you with?"

Liara nodded her head but kept her composure. "No, thank you for your assistance. It was good seeing you once again." 

Shepard was amazed at how well she hid her emotions, knowing that inside she must've been devastated. 

The younger Asari looked towards her escort. "I have my order. Shall we?"

Shepard gazed at Liara, seeing the hurt in her eyes for only a moment and lowered her voice. "You go on ahead." She emanated reassurance and winked. "I will catch up with you." 

Liara noticed Shepard open her commlink and taking her cue, walked away. 

"Excuse me." 

Erinya had been looking out over the balcony and turned around, expecting to see a different customer, someone other than Liara's human companion staring her down. 

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"I suggest you leave. Do not waste my time with your bravado human." 

_Funny, without Liara around she seems to find a backbone._ "I asked you a question and I want an answer. She remembers correctly." _Bluff her._ "I saw the memory in a meld." _She flinched, perfect._ "Why are you so afraid of Benezia T'Soni?"

"What makes you so sure I am afraid human?" 

"Because you started pacing the second I mentioned her name." 

The Asari stopped dead in her tracks and turned back around to look out upon the Nos Astra skyline. "Go away. I still have two daughters to protect." Her head tilted down.

Shepard gently touched her arm, softening her tone. "Liara is not going to betray you to anyone, least of all her mother. Please, just talk to her." 

Erinya shrugged her off harshly. "Leave me, now."

"You're a fucking coward. I'm sure your daughters are proud of you." _That one hit home._

Erinya turned about in a fury, lowering her voice to a raspy growl. "You have no idea what you speak of. They are all I have left." Her eyes filled with angry tears. "My bondmate died in a mysterious accident shortly after I ... worked for the Matriarch." Her lips pursed as she stared Shepard down. 

"The next week I received a delivery from ... _her_ ... conveying her condolences. She also mentioned how fortunate I was to still have my daughters around." Erinya grabbed Shepard's forearm. "Enclosed in the parcel was a pendant, the same pendant I had left for Liara the day I was removed."

"Benezia ... killed her?" Shepard knew she the Matriarch was ruthless and cunning, but this seemed a little drastic for a simple nanny who was a 'bad influence'.

"I wonder sometimes... but that is irrelevant to my current concern. The threat of harm to my daughters was clear. Never contact Liara again and they would remain safe." Her nostrils actually flared, an odd reaction for an Asari.

Shepard was silent. There was nothing she could think of to say that fit the moment. 

"Please, just leave me be." Her expression was cold and distant. She let go of Shepard's arm and the human watched her walk away. 

"Liara ... I'm speechless." Shepard began her walk towards Liara who had been waiting around the corner.

"Sadly enough, I am not surprised in the least. If we are not combating loyalty, we are combating fear." The disappointment was apparent in her voice. 

"I hate to say this but your mother is a ..."

"Bitch? Yes Shepard, I know."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The message alert went off on Shepard’s Omni as her and Liara were walking through the Exchange on their way to the ship. 

.... _Sheppy, did you ask her out yet?_...

Liara jumped slightly as Kasumi and Keiji appeared seemingly out of thin air on either side of the couple.

“Goddess, could you two not just wave from across the hall like normal humans?" 

Keiji laughed, "We wouldn't have met if we were not a little out of the ordinary." Keiji patted his chest. "I think you will forgive us once we get inside."

Once they entered the ship, Kasumi grabbed Shepard by the arm and pulled her towards Shepard's office. "I have some upgrades for you Shep," leaving Liara and Keiji to deal with the microchips.

"I haven't even had a chance to use them yet and you already have improvements?" Shepard sat at her desk and began removing her Omni.

"No, I just wanted to get you alone. So did you?" Kasumi sat on the edge of Shepard's desk, dangling her feet over the side.

"Sort of ... we are going out tomorrow night." 

"What do you mean, sort of? You didn't chicken out did you?" Kasumi pulled her hood back, eyes widened with disbelief.

"No I wanted to take her to Azure but ..."

"Shep you are thick sometimes." Kasumi broke into a fit of laughter. "Did Liara have to clue you in?"

"Thick." Shepard repeated the word, as flatly as the thief delivered it.

"Yes, thick ... oblivious ... dense ..."

"I know what it means. I'm not a moron, I just didn't know, I've never been here before." Shepard was uncharacteristically defensive.

Kasumi slid closer to Shepard's chair and lightly kicked her leg. "Look Shep, it's just that it took you long enough to set up this date. It's obvious how much Liara likes you ... to everyone but you."

"I had to be sure." She crossed her arms in front of her chest, holding her ground.

"Life is too short to waste time being afraid of love." Kasumi raised her hood back on her head pulling it down as close to eyes as possible while staring through the window, across to Liara's office catching a glimpse of Keiji. 

She smiled to herself before looking back at the stubborn human. "Shep listen to me. A few days ago, I had this .. dream. Yet it seemed so real." Her usual playful tone disappeared for a more somber serious one. "We were sitting at a bar and you were in some black cocktail dress."

"Sounds like a nightmare to me..."

"I am serious. You were helping me to get something back ... a memory of Keiji. He was dead Shep." Kasumi brushed something from her cheek. "And you were telling me how you couldn't find Liara and how much you missed her."

Shepard uncrossed her arms and leaned forward in her chair, cascades of emotions written all over her face in reaction to the dream.

"I was living on without him but I was not alive. I don't want to imagine life without Keiji. Don't waste any more time."

"We are going out tomorrow night."

"Don't chicken out at the last minute Sheppy. Be with the one you love." Kasumi paused and looked at her friend who had a blank stare on her face. "Yes I know you love her, I can read it all over your face."

Kasumi looked out and smiled at the love of her life, watching him walk over with Liara. When the door slid open, she ran into his arms and squeezed him tightly. 

Keiji happily returned her embrace. "I'm not going anywhere," he assured her, kissing her forehead as if knowing exactly what was on her mind.

Shepard warmly smiled at Liara. A newly found determination coursing through her veins.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She was adjusting the water temperature in the shower with a smile plastered across her lips. Shepard managed to sneak off to “Memories of Illium” and purchase a single blue flower along with a small vase while Liara was showering after the party at Oriana's parents. Her token of affection was placed on Liara’s desk, ready for discovery first thing in the morning. She was not going to let life or love pass her up any longer.

When the water was to her liking, she stepped into the misting spray and leaned her forehead against the wall, rewinding the events of the day in her mind. Once the memories of the morning took over, the impression of that magical dream returned to the forefront of her mind. The sensation was so vivid; she could almost taste Liara’s lips, inhale her scent, and feel the smooth texture of her skin. Shepard’s soapy hands roamed over her own hips, imagining what it would feel like to touch Liara, have Liara touch her in return. Her body twitched, rousing her from her thoughts. She quickly rinsed off and retreated to her bed.


	15. Chapter 15

Title courtesy of Janet Jackson.

Chapter 15 - If I Was Your Girl … Oh The Things I’d Do To You

Illium

Having barely toweled off after leaving her shower, Shepard crawled into bed without donning her normal sleeping attire. The sheets were cool against her still wet skin and hair; that dream still vivid in her minds eye. The kiss she had been longing for, so full of need and desire. She wondered how Liara’s mouth tasted. If it was anything like her natural scent, it was sure to be sweeter than anything she could imagine. Thinking about it made her shudder, her senses were begging for release.

Shepard continued using her own fantasies to guide the path beyond where her dream left off. She turned on her side, imagining Liara lying beside her, pressing her smooth curves against her back. Her top leg was bent, dragging her toes up and down Shepard’s shin, revealing a hint of arousal when her hip hit a certain angle against the human’s thigh. Her breathing patterns began to slow as she felt a tingling overtake her nervous system. 

She placed her hand on her stomach. Her palm wasn’t quite the same texture as an Asari’s but effective on her imagination none the less. Shepard dragged her fingertips up to the center of her chest then cupped her breast in her hand. She could almost feel Liara kissing her shoulder, breathing on her neck, and whispering in her ear while her fingertips worked on Shepard’s nipple, rubbing and lightly pinching. Liara’s voice was so melodic. How pleasurable would be it for Liara to tell her exactly how much she wanted to touch her, how she would work her hands, or better yet explore with her tongue. _What am I doing?_

Her breaths were becoming deeper and louder, and Shepard found herself clenching her lower stomach muscles in response to the heat that was building. _Just go with it._ She arched her back and neck every so slightly as her hand began to slide down, back over her stomach and towards the throbbing between her legs. Shepard teased herself for a moment, fingertips glancing ever so softly before plunging into the wet heat where she found an already swollen nerve center. 

How would it feel for Liara’s tongue to trace a path against her neck or gently nibble on her earlobe? She bit on her bottom lip, trying to slow the electricity gathering at the ends of her fingers to no avail. If thinking about Liara was this blissful, how would it feel if those were actually her hands? How would it feel to touch the Asari, show her how much she cared for her, desired her? Dragging her fingertips over her textured skin, would she shudder with excitement and melt into bliss? Or would Liara be driven to the brink and beg for something more primal?

Her pulse quickened as she felt her toes begin to curl, muscles tightening in response to pleasure, her fingers feeling the throb. Shepard’s hips bucked as a throaty scream escaped her lips, her hand still clamped firmly between her thighs as she regained her breath.

The door slid open as she never bothered to lock it. “Shepard, wake up. Are you alright?” Liara rushed into the room, “You were just screaming.”

Shepard immediately put a barrier up and made sure the sheets were still covering her body. _How loud was I?_ This especially was not a time that she wanted Liara sensing what had happened; she was already trying to stop the blush. “I guess I was having a nightmare.” She attempted to sound groggy, as if just waking up then rolled onto her back, moving her hand to her side. 

Liara sat down on her bed and touched her forehead. “You are all flushed and sweaty, do you want to talk about it?” 

_No, I really don’t want to talk about it._ “I don’t remember anything before you walked in.” She wiped her still slick fingers on the bed sheet as casually as she could manage. “I’m ok. Thanks for checking on me.” She was doing her damnedest to not reveal any hint of what was just transpiring. 

Liara tilted her head slightly, not totally believing Shepard but willing to respect her wishes. “Alright, I will be in my room if you need me.” She reached under the cover and grabbed her by the forearm, pulling her hand to her lips. “Good night,” and she kissed the back of her fingertips before walking out. 

Shepard exhaled in a sigh of relief as the door slid shut behind Liara. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Traynor found herself at Tali’s station watching the video feed from the cargo hold as occasionally happened when she noticed Shepard wandering around in her work out gear. It may have been a little intrusive, voyeuristic but she didn’t care. The show was more than worth the slight pang of guilt she rarely felt. 

Most of Shepard’s workouts involved practicing footwork and quickness with occasional strength building exercises thrown in. But more importantly is she wore a tight tank top and jumped around a lot. 

“Spying on Shepard again Sam?” Tali snuck up on Traynor shaking her head back and forth. “Don’t worry, I know you’ve done it before and I won’t say anything. But I am telling you, she’s not available.”

“I’m not sure I believe that.” Traynor’s eyes went back to the screen and Tali began to fiddle with her Omni. She had not been this attracted to someone since she stole her first kisses from a girl back on Horizon. She always liked her women rugged looking and especially petite. Samantha preferred a dominant role in a relationship, a shorter woman just added to her excitement.

“Oh here you are Sam, I have a …. what are you doing?” Oriana arrived on the scene and much to her astonishment, saw Traynor fixated on the video feed. She sighed and shook her head in disapproval.

“I’m trying to pick up some pointers.” Her voice faltered slightly at Ori’s expression. “Perhaps then I can go ask her to teach me.” _Then maybe I can teach her a few things, the young ones were always eager to learn._

“Sam I am telling this to you as your friend, she’s taken.” Oriana’s hand rested on Traynor’s shoulder. “You’re only asking for rejection.” 

“I think you both are reading too much into their relationship. They are just good friends.” At this point until all rumors were confirmed with first hand knowledge, Samantha would not believe anything was going on between Liara and Shepard. And even if it was, there was no reason she couldn’t lure the human into her bed instead…

“Sam, turn it off. You don’t want to watch this.” Oriana noticed that Liara had just walked into the view, standing there admiring Shepard just as Traynor was. 

Tali perked up and joined the other two at the screen. "No, this is about to get interesting. We may find a winner for our little 'lovebird' pool." Tali produced a straw. "Anyone have something to drink?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara was eventually able to fall asleep following the realization she came to upon leaving Shepard’s room. After kissing her hand, she noticed something was a little unusual. There was no smell of soap or lotion on the human’s hand, it was something else entirely. At first she was perplexed, until very specific memories from Sha’ira’s knowledge meld began to flash in her mind’s eye. Slowly, Liara put the pieces together. First the scream which was more like a moan the more she thought about it and then the fact that Shepard was all flustered and sweaty, and obviously void of any clothing under the sheets. It seemed her shy little bodyguard had finally started to break out of that shell. Her patience had finally paid off.

She had been noticing Shepard actually meeting her eyes the past few days instead of glancing away. Then there was the 'date' for later that night. Surely caution was no longer needed on the doctor’s part. After choosing the precise outfit consisting of a thin curve hugging material in the most complementary shade of purple and a plunging neckline, Liara had set out to find her escort.

The cargo hold was the only wide open space on the ship suitable for the work out routine Shepard employed and had even equipped it with a mat. Liara watched the human side-stepping quickly on her tip toes and raising her knees as high in the air as she could, unaware of the Asari’s presence. The large empty room provided acoustics for the music reverberating from her Omni tool and a perfect opportunity for Liara to get close to the human.

“Oh hey, how long have you been standing there?” Realizing she was no longer alone, Shepard stopped and leaned over for a towel, wiping the sweat from her face and hands. 

As she bent down, Liara could see down the front of her tank slightly, it made her instantly aroused. “Just a short time. You are light on your feet, I hope this means you plan on dancing with me later.” Liara strolled over to the human, gleam in her eye and smirk on her face. 

“I’m a terrible dancer Liara, trust me, no one wants to see that.” Shepard was nervous about their date, but even more so she was anxious to get time away, just the two of them. “Were you in your office yet?” 

“Not yet, I came to find you first.” Liara removed the towel from Shepard’s hands and tossed it carelessly aside. “You know Asari are naturally talented dancers and since we have music already playing, I can teach you.” The smirk morphed into an innocent stare, complete with doe eyes and tilted chin as Liara casually slid her hands onto Shepard’s hips.

“Ok, but I am telling you, I am hopeless.” Liara was so beautiful it was almost overwhelming. Her heart was pounding at the thought of being close to the object of her desire.

“Put your hands on my shoulders.” The doctors fingers began caressing her escort.

Shepard did as she was told, loosely resting her hands while thoroughly enjoying the closeness. 

“Now just feel the music. You already do it when you sing in the shower at the top of your lungs.” Liara’s hands attempted to guide the human’s hips in rhythm but Shepard's movements were stiff. “Loosen up and let me lead.” She lightly tapped her on the side and applied a little more pressure with no success. “Do I make you nervous all of a sudden, Jaye? You are tense.” The Asari’s voice only hinted of the seduction she was undertaking.

Shepard’s first name was rarely used even by Liara. Occasionally Aria did but most others didn’t even know it. Liara already held so much power over her, but the use of her name was like the ultimate command word and she melted barely able to stand for a quick moment. “I told you, I’m not a good dancer.” She was nervous but determined not to admit it.

Liara reached her arms around Shepard’s waist and pulled their bodies close together. “Relax and feel my hips guide yours.” Her pelvis began grinding into the humans, her eyes never leaving the blues of Shepard. “Our bodies fit together nicely.” She pulled her in tighter applying added pressure with her fingertips, her cobalt lips curling up at the edges. 

“Liara, there are cameras in here.” Shepard stopped moving and became rigid. 

Liara was on the prowl. The words left her lips slowly and deliberately. “I know. But everyone already assumes we are fucking, this is not going to change anything.” She was like a volcano primed for eruption after all this time keeping her desires pent up. “It is not like I threw you down on the mat and ravaged you … yet.” 

The last thing Shepard wanted was someone viewing footage of … this. “The cameras.” It was the only words she could manage to form and she took a step back. But she also could not deny how her body had responded to Liara. She was once again, tingling all over. “I’ll dance with you tonight.” 

It was not the exact results she was looking for but the doctor did get to feel Shepard’s body pressed tightly into hers. If all went as planned later, there would be no barrier of clothing by the end of the night. “I am going to make sure you do.” Liara winked and sauntered away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Keelah, I would love to know what they were saying.” Tali along with Oriana and Traynor’s eyes were glued to the video feed. “I think I need to add some bugs in there for the future.”

"How does anyone resist that?" Oriana's mouth had dropped open. "I am not into Asari but … wow." Looking Liara in eye may prove to be difficult with that image etched in her mind.

Traynor on the other hand, found the affirmation she was looking for. “If there was something going on, she wouldn’t have stepped back. I told you both, Shepard is available,” _but not for long._ “Now if you will just excuse me …


	16. Chapter 16

Title courtesy of Sixpence None The Richer

Chapter 16 - Kiss Me

_"I can't believe it's been ten years." Ashley refilled the two empty metal tumblers in front of her. "I miss him." She picked up her whiskey and drained it in one gulp before refilling her container._

_Shepard had accompanied Ashley and her sisters to the unmarked grave where the remains of her grandfather were buried earlier in the day. Her father had insisted no names be present on his memorial stone to protect the sacred place from desecration by overzealous xenophobes still pissed off about his military decision to surrender. "I wish I knew what to say." She turned sideways on the couch folding her ankle under her other dangling leg._

_Ashley had left Abby in charge of the two younger siblings, needing a night away to drown her sorrows at Shepard's apartment. "Nothing to say. He did what he had to do, told me how the right decision is not always the easy decision." The older girl turned to face Shepard, drinking her cup dry again before placing it down on the table. Her words were becoming slightly slurred. "Always think of the big picture, the greater good. Take care of those you are supposed to protect." She hiccupped. "Even if you take the fall when they don't understand." She grabbed Shepard's hand. "I wish you could've known him."_

_"Me too, Ash. Me too." Shepard squeezed her hand in response._

_"At least I have you to count on now, always protecting my back." Her broad shoulders drooped down in relaxation. "Just like you protected Lynn that day on the playground." Ashley reached over to her friend’s still-full tumbler and drained it as quickly as the others before removing a strand of hair from her friend’s eye. "You mean the world to me."_

_Shepard smiled. "I feel the same way." She leaned in, closing her eyes, puckering her lips._

_"What the fuck are you doing?" Ashley pulled her hand away and gave Shepard’s shoulders a shove._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Illium

Traynor hurried down towards the cargo hold, thinking this was the perfect time to ask for a little personal training. The key was to phrase her request in such a way that safety was her main concern so Shepard would not refuse. Thankfully, Sam found her exiting the cargo hold and waited just outside the view of the cameras. Having spent so much time viewing the security feeds, she knew exactly where she needed to be for privacy. “I have been looking for you. I was hoping to ask a favor.” 

Shepard had draped a towel around her neck, hiding the dip in her neckline. “What’s on your mind?”

“As you know, Garrus and Kaidan have been giving weapons training. After the business on Therum, I thought it best to be prepared.” She was careful not to leer, as much as she wanted to. “But I do not have biotics or the ability to use an omni to protect me at close range. I was hoping …” She purposely paused, hoping to sound reluctant.

“What is it, Samantha?” 

“I was hoping you could teach me how to defend myself.” She stared at the floor. “I ... don’t feel comfortable having Kaidan or Garrus teach me, and besides, I think it may be better if a female taught me anyway.”

Shepard appreciated the initiative her assistant was taking and happily agreed. "I'm going to talk to Tali about getting you some basic engineer upgrades and training for your Omni, too. You are good with mods; this should be easy for you." 

Traynor smiled, the time with Tali would at least be enjoyable; they got along well and a few installations on her Omni were worth the personal time with Shepard.

"Every other day, meet you here at 9am." 

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

From: Niket

To: Dr. Ryan

Hey Ori, I can’t wait to see you, it’s been so long. You may be all grown up now but you will always be like a little sister to me. And since I hear you have a new man in your life… that means he still needs my approval. Don’t worry, I won’t embarrass you too much. See you later. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oriana's latest inquiry into the source of her tuition trust fund was as fruitless as the prior. She had even recruited Traynor and Tali to modify her hacking program in the hopes of better success. She started one more hack on a different source before heading out to meet the girls for their shopping tour.

The talk with Liara had ignited a spark in the young doctor, prompting her to explore new avenues in search of her benefactor. For the first time, she also confided in her parents, telling them of her desire to know the truth, feeling their love and support in response. It has been an especially good visit with them that morning as she recalled the surprise she got.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Oh and, Ori?”

“Yes, dad?” Ori looked up, completely lost in thought. Both parents were watching her concernedly.

“There’s someone here who’s been waiting days to see you,” her father’s eyes twinkled as he gestured towards the living room. “I think you’ll enjoy this little reunion.”

“Oriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!” Ori blinked in surprise as another woman burst out of the living room, leaping onto her and tackling her in a bear hug so tight, she could not breathe. Despite her shock, however, she found herself giggling, returning the warm embrace with as much fervour as she could muster.

“Jess!” she rasped, her air-deprived voice not quite doing justice to how overjoyed she was feeling at the moment. After what seemed like hours, she tapped Jess’ shoulder. “J… can’t… breathe…”

Jess released her, grabbing onto her shoulders as she shook them in excitement, completely oblivious to Ori’s red, puffing face. “I haven’t seen you in, like, FOREVER! How the bejesus are you, girl?” 

Despite her shortness of breath, Ori eventually found it within herself to match her friend’s enthusiasm. “I’m great, J! I can’t believe it’s been so long! It’s totally your fault we’ve not chatted, by the way.”

“My fault, how? You’re the over-achieving star who never has time to answer her comm!”

Ori sighed, a wan smirk crossing her face. Jess was right; she had been so caught up in her work, she had not had time to return her best friend’s calls. _How did it come to this? I need to live more._

“You’re right, J… m’sorry.”

Her friend laughed, slinging an arm around her shoulder and dragging her to the sofas. “Oh shush, dorkhead. I wouldn’t love ya so much if you weren’t such an adorable geek. So... spill, girl! What’s the goss? And I want PHOTOS.”

Ori needed this. Time to just relax and forget the endeavours dogging her; time to just be with an old friend. With a soft chuckle, she fired up her omni tool, bringing up photographs, vids and audio recordings of the ship, her crew and the places they had visited.

“Hey!” Ori started as Jess playfully elbowed her in the ribs. “Who’s the dashing definition of hunk?”

“Errrr…” Confused, Ori squinted at the person in the image that Jess was pointing at. KAIDAN?  
“You mean that guy? He’s… errr… just some guy… Kaidan… he works with me.”

“Just some guy? Ori you uber dork, are you blind or just ignorant of your needs? You do have needs… right? Woman, LOOK at him! Those brooding eyes, those broad shoulders, that perfectly-formed ass! Oh, I swoon! Hey… if you’re not interested then I call dibs on –“

“OI!” 

Both women blinked, each surprised by the vehemence of Ori’s outburst. Jess stared at Ori for a minute, before a wide, mischievous grin formed at the sight of Ori’s increasingly-reddening face.

“Oh… my… God… you’re hot on the guy!”

Ori gasped, her jaw dropping. “I most certainly am not!”

Jess burst out into squeals of laughter, jumping around the hapless Ori in her glee as she started chanting. “Ori and Kaidan sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G! Ori and Kaidan sitting in a tree, F-U-C–“

The door to the living room hissed open, causing Jess to stop mid-song and mid-jump.

“What’s going on here, ladies?” Ori’s dad stood in the doorway, a dry smirk on his face and his arm wrapped around her mother’s waist. Before Ori could shoo them away, Jess yanked her arm, dragging her to her parents’ side.

“Look, Mr and Mrs R! What a catch, eh?”

“Oh my,” Ori’s mum breathed, eager to capitalise on the opportunity to build on the chemistry she had sensed earlier. “That ass…”

“MUM!”

Ori’s dad nodded sagely, the smirk on his face widening. “Mmmhmm - the strong, silent type. I told you last night, I approve.” Slyly, he glanced over at his wife, who was staring at him in adoration. "Oh stop it, you minx!"

“Oh God,” Ori groaned. She shot a glare at Jess, who was in a barely-contained fit of giggles. “Kill me. Kill me now.”

Jess, apparently, finally got the hint. Slinging her arms around Ori’s parents’ shoulders, she walked them out of the living room, winking as she did so. “Ok Mr and Mrs R, I’ve got it from here.”

When the door had hissed shut behind her, she grabbed Ori by the wrist, dragging her to the sofa. “Ok, dorkhead. I ain’t never seen ya like this before. Out with it!”

Ori stared at her friend defiantly, still having trouble admitting it to herself. “Out with what?”

“Oh come on, egghead! Am I or am I not your one anchor to the sane world? You like him.”

“I do not! We’re just… good friends! He’s always watching out for me, y’know? Whenever I need some new software for my omni-tool, he’s there to convince Kasumi or Tali to part with it. He always insists on accompanying me when I go anywhere remotely sketchy – and it makes me feel more confident, y’know? He’s like a… gorgeous hunk of deterrent.” Ori and Jess chuckled heartedly at the last phrase. “And… I suppose… he’s kind of always just… listened. Like… this whole mess with my benefactor… you know, the one who’s basically ensured I’ve been fed with a silver spoon all my life. It’s been so frustrating hitting all these dead ends, J, but somehow… he seems to be able to calm me down, make me think of happier things… what?”

Ori paused in her musings, noticing the knowing smirk on her friend’s face. Jess laid a hand on her shoulder, slightly patting her cheek with the other. “Hun… listen to yourself! Don’t you understand what you’re saying?”

“I… I dunno, J… we work together, and I don’t want to ruin a good friendsh–“

“Nerdface, listen. You’re so ridiculously smart, but you can be so dense sometimes. You like the guy… he obviously likes you, too. Life’s short… no time to waste regretting lost chances. So… what’s stopping you?”

Ori blinked, Jess was always the jester – to hear her doling out advice… she must have genuinely felt there was something worth being serious about. _Jess is the most over-protective friend I know. If she thinks it’s worth a shot…_

Ori smiled, pulling her friend into a tight embrace. _I do like him. A lot._ “Nothing, I guess. Thanks, J, for beating some sense into me. I love ya.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As Ori strode towards the meeting place, Jessica was still on her mind. Ori loved her friend’s ability to be blunt and see through her like no other could. And apparently she had also run into Niket and filled him in on Kaidan. 

Samantha and Tali were leaning on the railing outside the docking area, eagerly chatting away. The quarian turned as she noticed the doctor approaching. “You have until we leave dock or else the credits buy us a party at the Citadel.”

Oriana had tried unsuccessfully to have her name removed from the so-called ‘lovebird’ pool that Tali had started. They each chose a time frame when proof of the romance between Shepard and Liara would be confirmed. “You might as well start planning the party now, I am not collecting. I told you I wanted out.”

“Is there something you are not telling us about them, Ori?” Tali crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Traynor had an arrogant smile on her face. “There is nothing to tell. I should win. They are not a couple.”

Oriana shook her head. She had joined this pool long before her relationship with Liara began to form. As harmless as the entire thing was, it just did not feel right. “I don’t know anything.”

Tali turned towards Samantha. “And if six months from now they kiss, will you give all the credits back? It’s not possible to pick ‘never’ in these cases.” Tali checked the time. “Maybe someone should go see what is holding those two up.”

Oriana had noticed the shutters on Liara’s windows were uncharacteristically closed as she walked by. “I will check on them,” she remarked as she headed back to the ship.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard's hair was still wet, her ringlets dripping with water after her post workout shower. She entered Liara's office having noticed the window shutters had been closed. "You wanted to see me?" The flower sat prominently on her desk, data pad in Liara's hands.

"Benezia would like to vid conference with us tomorrow. She apparently has decided to brief us on whatever information she has regarding my attempted kidnapping." The doctor gave the data pad to Shepard who quickly glanced at it before heading to the terminal.

"Okay, I wish Garrus had been able to uncover more, but someone is going out of their way to hide who they are." Shepard felt a delicate caress across her shoulder and down her arm. It made her visibly shiver. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply; she was growing addicted to Liara's touch, but the effect was always just as intense as the first. This time she did not stifle her response.

"Thank you, the rose is beautiful." The Asari's voice was soft and gentle, full of warmth and affection. 

Her skin was electric where Liara’s fingertips had brushed her arm. The human smiled, pleased that her gesture was thoroughly appreciated. Maintaining her composure, Shepard turned around, not realizing how close Liara had been standing behind her. Before she had time to plan her words, she blurted the first thing that came to mind: "You're beautiful." 

They stared into each other’s eyes, both soaking up the depths of the other’s inner being. Nothing else in the universe existed for either of them, only each other.

Shepard was the first to move, taking the opportunity to enact her daydreams. She reached out tenderly and took Liara's hand, bringing the doctor's palm to her face, inhaling the natural scent from the inner part of her wrist. She smelled so sweet, but even more stimulating with her skin so close. Shepard placed a light loving kiss on Liara's delicate skin. Their eyes never broke contact. 

Liara released her hand from the human's grip and moved it over Shepard's cheek before threading her fingers into the human's hair. "Jaye ..." She let her whisper hang in the air.

Shepard closed her eyes for a moment and smiled. It was that siren call working its wonders on her soul. It felt so free to finally let her feelings show, to finally allow herself to act on her desires. She reached up to Liara's chin, running her thumb along her jawline until her hand was at the base of her crest. She knew exactly how sensitive this area was to Asari. She wanted to make Liara feel wanted and desired as she lightly caressed with her fingertips, watching Liara react by closing her eyes and running her tongue across her top teeth.

Satisfied with the reaction, she reached both arms around Liara waist and pulled her in closer, their hips gently pressing into one another. Shepard leaned towards Liara's neck, who had provided easy access with a tilt of her head. She delicately ran her nose along her textured skin, enjoying every millisecond of the moment finally upon her, still feeling Liara's hand coursing through her hair. 

"Goddess, you are so sensual." Liara's breaths were growing deeper as she tried to control herself for just a little longer, letting Shepard finally display the affection she had been so desperately craving. Her thumb was tracing the outline of the human’s ear. 

Shepard leaned back to gaze one more time into Liara's eyes. "You have that effect on me." She rubbed the small of Liara's back, running her finger tips along her spine. She saw more than just consent to continue from the Asari, she saw a wanting. This was it, the moment she had been so afraid of, the moment that would open the door up for so much more.

Her head tilted in, not closing her eyes until she was sure Liara was mirroring her action. Their lips finally met, a gentle closed mouth kiss began. The texture of Liara's cheek was tickling the tip of her nose as she parted her lips only to find Liara's tongue anxiously awaiting hers. The kiss was slow and patient, allowing Shepard to feel and taste each inch of Liara's mouth, tongue, and teeth. As often as she thought about her first kiss, their first kiss, she was not prepared for the overload of sensations consuming her. She could not control her moaning, allowing the sound the escape into their kiss. 

Liara broke her lips away still leaning their foreheads together, catching her breath. "You just moaned in my mouth." She licked her lover’s bottom lip with a hastened drag from the tip of her tongue.

Shepard's breathing had also become more pronounced. "Sorry, I guess I'm a little overwhelmed. I've been thinking about this, a lot." Her eyes glanced down. 

Liara began rubbing her nose along the side of Shepard's. "Why did you wait so long?" 

Shepard's eyes remained facing down. "I had to be sure." She pulled Liara tighter, looking for comfort and closeness.

Liara gently kissed the human’s soft lips. "Of what?"

"That you were interested." She looked back into her beloved's eyes, hoping for understanding. 

Liara's lip curled into a seductive sneer, once again that mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Oh, I am interested." Her fingers tightened their grip, gently tugging on Shepard's hair and pulling her head back slightly. Her other hand reached down to her hips, taking Shepard's hand and leading it to her own breast. "Very interested." She pressed her fingers into the back of Shepard's, quickly teaching her the pressure and rhythm she preferred. 

Liara's lips hungrily attacked Shepard's, lacking any of the patience the previous kiss had. It was wet and slippery and fast and furious. She took her hand away from Shepard's and deftly unbuttoned the four fasteners on the human's shirt. Sliding the shirt to the side, she moved her mouth to front of Shepard's shoulder, latching onto the soft skin with her lips.

"Wow." Shepard felt the incredible sucking power against her skin, it was such a primal feeling. She moved her hand from Liara's breast to back around Liara's waist, allowing herself to be consumed. 

Liara reached down to Shepard's backside, her other hand still grasping her hair. "Do not tell me you are getting all shy on me again." Her mouth had released its grip, leaving a very dark red mark as she looked up.

"I ..." She was at a loss for words. 

Liara moved both hands to the human's shoulders, keeping the love bite exposed. "That mark should be enough to remind you how badly I want you, have been wanting you. There is nothing to worry about any longer." Her lips curled upwards.

Shepard remained silent. She was putty in Liara's hands, wanting with her body, wanting to slow down with her mind. She smiled sheepishly and looked down once more.

"I know what you were doing last night, love." She slid her fingers down Shepard's arm until she grasped onto her hand.

Shepard's eyes darted up, staring at her like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar, so to speak. "I … don't know what you're talking about."

Liara lifted the human's hand to her lips. "I know what this hand was doing last night before I entered your bedroom." She kissed the back of her knuckles. "Remember when I did this?" 

Shepard blushed, her jaw dropping slightly.

Liara licked between her two fingers. "Tell me you were not thinking of me." The mischievous twinkle was still present. 

Shepard did not hesitate in her response: "I think of no other." She made sure there was no doubt who she desired, no matter how embarrassed she was.

"I am glad we are going out tonight. I have been looking forward to it." The Asari leaned in for another kiss.


	17. Chapter 17

Title courtesy of INXS.

Chapter 17 – Need You Tonight

The door slid open, the couple still in their embrace, lips still locked, Oriana standing there with a surprised look on her face. "I'm so sorry." 

Shepard stepped back with her eyes as wide as saucers. "I’ll meet you both outside," and hurriedly exited past Ori while fastening the buttons on her pullover. 

"I didn't realize what was going on; I should have just beeped you when the shutters were closed. Again, I apologize. I won't say anything."

Liara smiled. "Thank you Ori. I do not know if we are ready to have the rumors of our relationship confirmed yet." 

"You know about that, too?" Oriana suddenly remembered the video feed from earlier and could not look Liara in the eye. She glanced away and noticed the rose on Liara's desk. 

"I do, it is not difficult to figure out when Tali makes obvious comments constantly." The Asari laughed. She did not mind if everyone else knew; she had been hoping Traynor was watching the video feed earlier from the cargo hold. But she didn't think Shepard was quite ready for that yet. After all, it took her this long to admit her feelings in the first place.

Ori walked over to the desk and reached out, fingering one of the blue petals. "My mother used to grow these at our old house. They were always my favorite flower." She turned and leaned back against the desk. "Did she give this to you?"

Liara felt a rush of warmth engulf her soul at the mention of the romantic, tender side of her escort. "Yes, it was waiting for me this morning." Liara nodded her head to the side. "Shall we?" and began walking. 

"I am happy for you both. Your secret is safe with me." 

Liara briefly touched the other doctor’s hand as they walked side by side to the airlock. "Thank you, Ori." 

"Liara, you once mentioned that if I needed any help finding my benefactor, to ask." Oriana paused as the contamination process began in the airlock. "Tali and Sam have helped me with hacking programs, but I still can't find anything out. Do you have any information brokers you can recommend?"

The Asari quickly tapped on her Omni, initiating a transfer to the other doctor. "The first is an unknown. On one hand, she manages to get information that others cannot, but on the other, she ... exaggerates the value of her information. The second will get you solid information and only if he can verify that it is legitimate."

The pair of doctors strolled out to their waiting companions and the shopping trip began.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The group had slid into a corner booth at the cafe in the center of Nos Astra's shopping district. Liara had watched Samatha Traynor with amusement all afternoon, trying desperately to maintain close proximity to Shepard, while Oriana seemed to be playing obstacle. Apparently the human doctor was aware of Sam's little crush as well. 

Liara had managed to sneak a few squeezes and gropes, safely concealed by a clothing rack or divider, much to Shepard's surprise. Now that her emotional wall had been taken down, Liara anxiously anticipated being alone with her escort. This shopping escapade, while fun, was such an interruption of her true desires. Teasing Shepard at least provided some relief. 

She slightly rubbed her leg against Shepard's as the server approached. Liara clicked something on her Omni and then put her arm down near her side as if reading a message, quickly running her fingertip on Shepard's thigh. When the human fidgeted, Liara successfully suppressed her laugh. _She is just so cute._ Liara ordered a round of frozen fruit drinks for everyone: the very same she drank at college with her friends on a night out, as it seemed appropriate. The Asari then typed a message into her Omni and set it for a delayed delivery: 'It has very little alcohol in it. You will like it, I promise. And you need to relax, you are tense.' 

"Ok Shepard, out with it. Why do you need all those pockets?" Tali's comment inspired a chorus of chuckles from the rest … well, except Shepard. 

"I carry a lot of stuff around. It makes it easy." Shepard looked to Liara for help but all she received was a curious grin. 

"No one can possibly need all those pockets, spill them." 

Shepard's Omni tweeted. The server approached with a tray filled with extravagantly colored frozen delights as Shepard glanced down to read her message. She hesitated for a moment before taking a sip on her straw. "This is good," she said, surprised.

"Come on, empty the pockets." Tali opened her port and brought out her special filtering straw.

Shepard looked to Traynor this time for help who also provided no assistance.

"Don't look at me, you only asked me to rebuff the dresses and shoes." Sam crossed her arms and sat back, trying her best to look smug. 

Liara felt the excitement grow in Traynor as the words left her mouth. _Such an amateur._ Now that Shepard and Liara shared a moment, the jealousy she used to feel had faded; she knew where Shepard's desires were focused. 

"Remind me next time to not be so specific." All four companions were staring at her and Shepard began emptying her pockets on the middle of the table. 

When the third knife was placed in the pile, Oriana's eyes grew wide. "How many knives do you need?" 

"Didn't you get that blade upgrade from Kasumi?"

"It's Nos Astra, nothing happens here." 

Shepard shook her head and continued removing the items from the rest of their hiding places. "It's an old habit. You have to be able to access a weapon from any position. Took a beating once because I didn't have a way to protect myself." She dropped a metal tin on the table. "Tali, speaking of which, I need you to upgrade Samantha's Omni with some basic engineer mods and teach her how to use them."

Liara watched Traynor flinch and felt panic. _Interesting._ "Let me know if you need any purchases, Tali." She turned to Shepard. "Will she need any special weapons or armor?"

"Eventually, but for now I'm going to teach her the basics of self defense." Shepard took another, deeper sip of her drink. "She should be safe on the ship, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared."

Tali picked up the shiny tin from the pile. "Will get it done before we leave Illium." She twirled the container around her in her gloved hand. "Breath mints?" Tali's body started to slightly convulse. "Worried about fresh breath, are you, Shepard?"

"It's important." She took the straw in her mouth, draining her drink down.

"Can't be kissing with bad breath, I guess." Tali's laughter was joined by Liara's. 

Oriana had been remaining quiet, silently watching the exchange and Traynor's response. 

"It's not just for me," she said exasperatedly. "Your suit protects you from smelling Krogan breath, lucky for you. Sometimes it reeks like they have been eating some poor fucker's sweaty balls." Shepard flagged down the server.

Picking up a small comb from the pile, Traynor began laughing. "So you don't like clothes but you worry about your hair?"

Liara sensed Traynor relaxing at the subject change. "So, would these lessons on self defense be beneficial to others?" _Not so easy._ "After Therum, I would like to be more prepared." Her attention switched to the approaching server and she ordered some food for both Tali and the rest and a fresh drink for Shepard. 

Oriana, proving to be a welcome new ally, chimed in as well. "If our energy is depleted, I would also feel better with an alternative."

Traynor tried desperately to hide her disappointment, but Liara saw right through it, and felt it as well. 

"Then it's settled, 9am every other day in the cargo hold. And wear something comfortable." Shepard glanced around looking for the server. 

"By comfortable you mean something with a lot of pockets?" Tali reached into the pile as she was laughing. "And what is this?"

Liara continued to caress Shepard's leg with her own. As everyone questioned her escort on the various items sprawled on the table, the Asari was more focused on later that evening. Trying to determine what to wear especially underneath, wondering if she should reserve a hotel room away from the ship for privacy. She tried not to linger too long on the memory of how good Shepard's mouth tasted. 

Liara glanced over at her love and reached out, touching the exact spot her lips had been attached to earlier, brushing absently at her shirt. "I thought I saw something on your shirt." She maneuvered her foot to the other side of Shepard's, entwining their legs slightly. "I guess I was seeing things." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard fingered the mark Liara had left on her upper chest as she looked in the mirror. After two drinks at lunch, she had relaxed somewhat, just as Liara had said. She never drank as a personal rule, but on jobs she had taken advantage of drunken mercs too many times to fall victim to the same carelessness. But this was Nos Astra, as everyone kept reminding her, one of the safest places in the galaxy, and tonight was important. 

She closed her eyes, remembering how her skin felt as Liara was sucking it between her lips as her fingers rubbed the spot. Kasumi and everyone else had been right, there was no doubt remaining about the mutual attraction. She had already changed shirts three times, searching for the perfect one to wear, and was still undecided. This was her first date, ever, her first girlfriend ever. _Can I call her my girlfriend? We only kissed once. God, did I do it okay?_

Aria had kept her busy after leaving Earth, and besides, she never allowed herself to get close to anyone either, not until Liara came into her life. All the time watching vids and dreaming about how to please her girlfriend, _yes, girlfriend, get used to saying it,_ was not the same as experience. She wanted to be a good kisser, and more. 

She opened her eyes and looked again at the mark on her shoulder, smiling. Choosing a blue shirt to highlight her eyes, grabbed her Omni and headed towards Liara's room. Shepard was greeted by a warm embrace and a tender kiss after knocking on the door. 

"I was waiting to do that all afternoon. I love spending time with the girls, but you were the only thing I could focus on." Liara once again was rubbing her nose against Shepard's cheek. "We do not have to go out if you would rather stay here ..." She nipped at the human's bottom lip.

Shepard kissed her quickly. "I want to go out, Liara, it's important to me." She looked into her eyes and took a deep breath. "It's my first ... date." Her arms felt so comfortable around Liara's waist, so natural. She closed her eyes for a moment, inhaling her sweet scent, feeling Liara's fingers wade through her curls.

"How can I deny you of your first date, our first date?" She kissed her again. "And you owe me a dance." Her tongue darted out into a point, tracing the crease where Shepard's lips met. "Shall we?" 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara had reserved a booth in a dimly-lit corner of the restaurant section in Armali Echoes, the latest hotspot in Nos Astra. The decor reflected the sophistication associated with Thessia but with a modern flare and menu to match. The couple slid across the cushioned curved bench, a long tablecloth dangling low enough from the table to conceal their upper legs. Shepard's leg was bouncing up and down on the ball of her foot.

"You are nervous again. Please tell me what is bothering you." Liara took Shepard's hand and brought it to her lips, gently kissing her knuckles.

"I just want tonight to be ... perfect for you." Her leg was still gyrating.

Liara slid her hand down to Shepard's knee and held it still. "Jaye ... you are so adorably romantic, but I know there is something more."

Shepard pursed her lips. "You know what that does to me, don't you?" The way Liara said her name with a purring emphasis was entrancing.

Liara just smiled smugly and began massaging her knee. 

"Do I kiss all right?" Shepard rubbed the back of her neck and lowered her voice to a husky whisper. "It's not too messy, is it?"

The Asari giggled. "Your kisses are luscious," her hand began to slowly creep up Shepard's thigh, "warm," farther up, "and intoxicating," before resting her fingers half way up the human's leg.

Shepard grabbed Liara's hand and kissed it before moving it back to the table and keeping a hold of it tightly. "Promise me you will tell me if I do something you don't like." 

The server approached and began to pour the Serrice Ice Brandy Liara had ordered. "Please Jaye, you need to relax. You worry too much." She grabbed one glass and held it up to Shepard, who returned the gesture. "To a wonderful night." They clinked glasses. "And that dance you promised me earlier." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The couple walked hand in hand over towards the flashing strobes and pounding bass of the VIP entrance to the nightclub. Two glasses of brandy later and Shepard's nervousness had fled. 

Liara stopped and walked her companion against the wall behind her, locking their lips as soon as the human's back hit resistance. "Mmmm, I can taste the brandy on your tongue." Her blue fingertips traced a line down the middle of Shepard's chest to her stomach. 

Shepard slid her arms around Liara. "I need to stop drinking; I think it's going to my head." She started to lean into Liara's neck as the couple heard someone clearing their throat.

"This is a respectable establishment. If you wish to carry on like that, please take it elsewhere." An uptight Asari flanked by a Krogan bouncer were staring at the couple, not amused by the public display happening in front of their eyes.

While Shepard was blushing furiously, Liara started laughing and grabbed the human's hand pulling her towards the entrance. "You owe me a dance." The couple walked through the doorway into the strobe flickering lights. 

Liara leaned into her lover’s ear. "And I want a nice sultry song to dance to so I can feel you grind into me." Liara's tongue darted into her ear before she pulled her companion over to the bar. "A shot of ryncol please."

"You really have no idea how bad of a dancer I am." Shepard turned her head towards the bartender as she straddled a stool. "Ice water for me." 

Liara walked between her companion’s legs, pressing their hips together, leaning in for another quick kiss. "This is Illium, you are officially off duty here as we are both safe. Is there some other reason you do not drink alcohol?"

The "No" came out of her mouth almost before the doctor had finished her sentence. 

Liara scrunched her eyebrows together. "Love, you know you do not have to guard yourself with me." She reached her hand out to caress Shepard's cheek. "You have … fascinated me from the moment I laid eyes on you." 

Shepard reached over and wrapped her arms around Liara’s ribs, pulling her in tight. "I liked you from the start, too."

"Dance with me, Jaye."

Shepard looked at the crowded dance floor and buried her chin in the nape of Liara’s neck whispering, "I hope you’re a good teacher, Doctor. You have your work cut out for you."

Liara grabbed Shepard's hand leading her to a corner of the dance floor. A slow but powerful bass line shook the walls as a synthesized melody generated a rhythm. The Asari took position behind the human, encasing Shepard in her arms, palms down on the front of her thighs. She pushed on her lover’s backside with her hips, noticing how much looser Shepard moved than she did in the cargo hold.

Shepard leaned her head back into Liara's shoulder, feeling cobalt lips against her neck, covering the Asari's hands with her own. Her thoughts were only of Liara and how the position they were in resembled her fantasy the night before, feeling her curves pressing into her back. 

Everything was so new, so overwhelming to her psyche. She felt herself numbing into a trance, worries fleeing from her conscious, the world around her slowing down as another song began to play. Shepard surrendered to Liara, allowing her to be guided into a fluid motion. 

One, maybe two more songs had played when the human decided that a much quieter, more private place would be advantageous. She turned her head so Liara could hear her over the thrumming beats. "Let's get out of here."


	18. Chapter 18

Title courtesy of k d lang

Chapter 18 – Constant Craving

_“Once we break into mother's safe, I promise you that we will do some of those things I showed to you earlier in that meld."_

_Mitlos Hinlorn, the son of a prominent salarian businessman, was considered an engineering prodigy even in his young years. The visits between his father and the matriarch had been frequent enough and young Mitlos took a liking to Liara. "My newly-developed mod should break through any security she has installed." He clicked away at his omni, entering commands as he reached each firewall. "Almost there ...."_

_Liara's heart raced in anticipation. This was the one place in their estate that her mother guarded more than any other. It was a safe, behind a portrait, and above an ancient divan. The existence of the hiding place was accidentally uncovered one day while she was practicing her observation skills on her mother._

_"The second I pass one obstacle, another shows. Almost there ...."_

_"What are you two doing!?"_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Somewhere ….

The smoky haze was accented by the flickering lights emanating from dozens of vid screens lining the walls. Seated across from each other, separated only by a desk, were two men, one with his eyes glued to a datapad.

“Our source in Illium has confirmed the rumors, Saracino.” He took a long drag on his cigarette. “It seems Shepard is no longer untouchable, and a year earlier than you hoped for.”

“Why there, and is it permanent?”

“No, she works for some different Asari now, it seems. I recommend contacting your brother and getting him to The Citadel. She is bound to show up there shortly from what I hear.” He noticed a smile spread across the face of the other man. “Now perhaps we can talk about that partnership.” 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Somewhere in Space

Liara was sitting at the head of the mess hall table picking at the remainder of her lunch while Shepard unknowingly stared at her. Most of the crew had finished up after the meeting and headed back to their work stations, new duties at hand. After making a brief stop on Eden Prime to make a supply drop off, courtesy of the Matriarch, the ship was heading back to The Citadel to pick up a mobile science rover fully equipped with a mining laser. 

Keiji and Kasumi had provided more than they were commissioned to steal, so a total of three surveying chips needed to be installed over the next few weeks. Liara had informed the crew that the usual shore leave that would normally happen while docked in The Citadel would only occur outside of the normal work shifts. These upgrades were vital to their expedition. 

Luckily for Shepard, she had to do nothing this meeting but listen -- not that she could concentrate on much of anything other than Liara, and waking up with Liara’s arms around her. She felt safe and secure as she stirred in the middle of the night, aware only slightly of the squeezes and caresses she felt while slipping back into her slumber. Having relied on only herself for most of her short life, this feeling of willing vulnerability was euphoric. The protector had surrendered her heart to someone else’s care. 

_“You can’t kiss me.” Shepard leaned back, covering her mouth. “I have morning breath. Let me go brush my teeth first.”_

_Liara laughed and quickly maneuvered atop of Shepard, straddling the human’s hips with her knees and pinning her arms down. “Do you honestly think every couple out there does not kiss first thing in the morning?” The Asari leaned her mouth in position right above Shepard’s. “Unless you think my breath is unbearable?”_

_“No, I just don’t want to turn you off is all.”_

_Liara leaned down for a deep kiss. “After last night, you still worry about that?”_

The couple had hurried back from the club as quickly as possible, only able to control their urges until the elevator door had closed. Liara began licking Shepard’s face, jawline, cheeks, lips, and over to her ears where she nibbled and sucked all while kneading the human’s tight but fleshy backside. Shepard’s fingers traced the ridges on her love’s crest, happily submitting to Liara’s ravaging. 

“Shepard, what is so special about that straw that you completely ignored what I just said?” Tali, one of the few remaining crew in the mess hall, drew Shepard from her memories. 

“Huh?” Shepard heard Garrus chuckling from the other side of the table as she looked up and realized the other three were staring at her.

“Is that straw specially flavored like some blue … food or something? You've been licking it for a few minutes now.”

Shepard furrowed her eyebrows. “What were you saying?”

“I upgraded Sam with some basic defense mods on her Omni: drone, cryo, and overload. Once she masters those, I can add the ones that are more fun to use, if you want.”

“Okay.” She turned to Garrus. “I take it you heard nothing further from EAE or C-Sec regarding the identity of those assholes on Therum?”

“No. For identities to be completely wiped clean is odd.”

"We need to keep on this, Garrus. Double and triple check everything and constantly monitor channels in case something new comes up. This is not the end of this." Shepard turned towards her the Asari. "Hopefully we will have more to go on later today."

“It is about time for that vid call. We should get prepared.” Liara rose and headed towards the lift before stopping to turn to Tali. “We can order you a turian-flavored port straw if you like.” She winked and then continued on.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara sat side by side with Shepard, just finishing up their meeting with the esteemed matriarch. Thankfully, the bodyguard handled the conversation, as Liara wanted her mother to have as little opportunity as possible to ruin her good mood. 

“So to make sure I understand you correctly, you have no definite information, other than it could be related to your recent business acquisitions or a power struggle within the matriarchs. And you have not been able to ascertain any more from EAE than we already have, which is basically nothing. Did I miss anything?”

“I am forwarding the names of the companies I have holdings in. I expect your discretion in this. I am a silent partner in many of these deals.”

“And what about your source?”

“Absolutely not. I will not compromise that.” 

“Very well then. Is there anything else we need to know?” Shepard was seething with annoyance even though her voice did not betray her. Liara lightly nudged her out of view, a gesture that was becoming very common.

"Liara, I want a full report from Eden Prime. They have two feeds for you to analyze and I need to know they are still running a smooth operation. Shiala's latest trip there was delayed and I need someone I can trust. I do not expect you to falter."

"Yes, mother."

"If you need to contact me, do so on my private link as I will be in Noveria for the next two weeks." Benezia disconnected the link.

"Well, that was useless, unless of course Tali missed a few of her holdings in her hack." Shepard turned her chair to face Liara, thankful the shutters were still closed. "I guess we find out soon enough. Hey, I'm sorry she's such a complete bitch to you." Shepard moved her thumb, gently tracing the eyebrow-like markings above the Asari's left eye.

"Asari do not have hair, love."

Shepard grinned. "I know, but I can touch you now. I like it. You don't mind, do you?" She began to withdraw her hand.

Liara grabbed onto her forearm and kissed her wrist before cradling Shepard's hand around her own cheek. "I touch your hair and ears enough, why would I mind you touching me?" 

"I don't know. You're my first girlfriend. I'm not sure what's normal or not."

"You worry too much. I have never had a partner, either. Benezia sent me on some dates for political purposes, but I stopped that when I left." Liara's hand made her way to Shepard's knee. 

"Then why am I always so nervous and you aren't?"

"I do not know. I like you, Jaye. A lot."

Shepard's eyebrows crinkled up. "I like you, too. It's not that."

"That is not what I meant. Please just relax, love. I will not hurt you. Trust me." 

Shepard felt Liara's hand sliding up her thigh and quickly guided it back towards her knee. "I _do_ like you; I hope you believe that."

"I know.” Reaching in for a quick kiss, Liara reassured the human as best she could. “I am going to message Keiji with a job. Would you mind talking to Kasumi to tell her to look for it? I am sure she wants to hear from you."

"What are you having them steal now?"

"They are going to break into my house on Thessia and empty Benezia’s safe."

Shepard kissed Liara quickly on the cheek and headed to the door. “Do you want to watch a vid together tonight? Just the two of us?”

“I would love to.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_“Liara.” Shepard’s lips were beginning to feel raw from all the kissing the couple had been doing all night during their date. Each had changed into some lounging clothes after they returned to their private floor, and fell onto Liara’s bed with lips tightly locked. “Can I spend the night?”_

_Liara’s eyes lit up mischievously._

_“I mean ... I don’t mean that … I mean I want to feel you arms around me when I sleep.” Shepard took the Asari’s hand to her mouth, dusting her knuckles with feather light kisses. “I liked waking up to your face the other day. I want to do it again.”_

_“There is nothing I want more than to share my bed with you, Jaye. I wish you would relax around me, though.” Liara kissed her lover deeply while rolling on top of her._

Shepard wandered down to the mess hall, looking for her secret stash in the cooler. She ordered fresh fruit, cheeses, and chocolate from an import store on Illium the day before, and was happy it had been delivered this morning before leaving dock. She grabbed everything in her hands before noticing an unopened bottle of ryncol sitting on the shelf and tossed it under her arm.

_"Sheppy, do you love her?"_

_"Yes, but I can't tell her after one date. That's being stalker-like."_

_"Oh, please. You guys should have been dating from day one, it sounds like. But you don't have to tell her, you can show her other ways how you care. The vid tonight is a great start."_

She wanted so badly to give herself completely over to Liara; her body ached with the desire. But this was all still new to her and she was so inexperienced. _Maybe if we melded I would know if I was doing it right. But could I even keep the barriers up if I let go? Then she would see ... the other stuff._ Shepard ached for Liara in ways she had never felt before. As soon as she made it back to her room, she popped open the ryncol and took a swig.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Li - yar - a." Shepard's was reveling in her confidence even through the slurring of her words, both a direct result of the liquid courage she ingested in the form of Krogan ryncol. Her fingertips were tracing the outline of the crests on her lovers head. 

The Asari’s head was resting on Shepard's stomach as she stared at the ceiling, giggling at the human's drunken behavior, burning with desire from her caresses. "There is no 'y' sound in my name, love." She glanced sideways to peek up at the object of her desire. "But you are still adorable, and driving me crazy with your fingers. How did you know to touch me like that, right where you are?" She closed her eyes and moaned pleasurably.

"I'm glad you like it. I looked on the extranet, of course, and maybe some other ... vids." 

Liara peeked over at the human and grinned.

"Did you ever ... you know." She traced her finger to Liara's lips who kissed it gently. "Do what I did the other night?"

Liara's cheeks began to change color. "A lot." A nervous giggle escaped her cobalt lips as she spoke. "Why am I the one blushing now?"

Shepard's lip curled into a cocky sneer, "Maybe you aren't used to being teased ... like you do to me all the time," her words were still slurring as she traced her finger back to the ridges adorning Liara's head. "I'm happy it isn't me for once."

"Perhaps I am used to being the one in control all the time, but this is nice, and I enjoy your hands on me. I am glad you are relaxed tonight. A few days ago you were not nervous when we were together." Liara snuggled her head into Shepard's lap. 

"A few days ago you had no idea how much I liked you." Shepard closed her eyes, a relaxed sigh reverberating from her throat.

"Yes I did, even before I heard you moan loudly." Maneuvering around until she was between her love's knees, Liara began tracing a path of kisses up the middle of Shepard's shirt, starting at her stomach.

Shepard felt Liara's curves pressing into her as she slid upwards, generating the longing and desire she was getting used to feeling when thinking about the Asari. But this wasn't fantasy -- Liara was really there, kissing her and turning her dreams into reality. She felt electricity traveling up her chest with each kiss. Opening her eyes again, she realized Liara emanated a blue aura. "Are you ... using biotics?" Her breathing started to deepen, words becoming less clear. 

"Do you like it?" Liara's peeked up at Shepard, pausing between her breasts.

“I like you.” Through her haze, she felt Liara begin sliding down while peeling her shirt up, revealing her stomach. Moist lips suckled her tender flesh, biotic pulses only enhancing the charges of electricity she was already experiencing. With a burst of courage, she sat up and removed her shirt, revealing her round breasts and already hardened nipples. “Li – yar - a, can you move higher, please?”

The Asari looked up, shocked and a little flustered from what she just heard.

“I think I like this shy side of you.” Shepard reached down gently pulling her lover’s head higher. “Please.”

Liara began slowly teasing the human, running the palm of her hand in a circular motion over Shepard’s one nipple with the lightest amount of pressure, while expelling hot breaths on the other. “Like this?”

Moaning loudly, Shepard’s legs began dragging against the sheets in a climbing motion, her hips grinding into Liara’s. “God, please, you’re driving me crazy.”

Pearly white teeth gently nipped at the human, tugging while the tip of Liara’s tongue danced between them, her other hand kneading in a possessive grasp. 

“Please ….”

Plunging her mouth down, she engulfed Shepard’s hardened bud into her mouth, sucking and licking, hearing a moan reverberate from above. Liara spread the fingers of her other hand, allowing herself to pinch the humans nipple between two of her knuckles.

Arching her neck, Shepard leaned back into her pillow, wallowing in the pure ecstasy she was experiencing. She wrapped her legs around her lover’s stomach, trying to relieve the pressure that was building by pushing tightly into Liara who wiggled in response. “God you’re fucking amazing.”

Liara crept higher, dragging her tongue up to Shepard’s neck, peering into her eyes with a wicked grin.

“Where did you learn how to do all that, if you’ve never had a partner before? Or am I not …” Trailing her hands back over the ridges on Liara’s head, she pulled her in tightly, realizing Liara was still completely clothed.

“You are the only one but, I guess I … cheated. Sha’ira shared a lot of knowledge with me that day.” Liara’s cheeks began to darken as she snuggled her nose into the nape of Shepard’s neck. “Do you like it?”

“Yes, I do.” She relaxed and enjoyed feeling the rise and fall of Liara’s chest against hers, the air on her neck. Her senses were slowing down as she was fading into serenity. The sensation of Liara’s lips on hers centered her back into reality and she happily responded by rolling over, gaining position on top. "Stay with me tonight."

"You thought there was a chance I was going to leave?"

Shepard began to fumble with the straps on Liara’s jacket, her fingers lacking the dexterity they usually possessed in a sober state. 

“Let me go change into something more … appropriate, love. I will return shortly.”

As soon as the door slid shut behind Liara, Shepard slipped her boycut underwear from under her hips and tossed them aside, suppressing a yawn and settling comfortably on her pillow, anxious for what was to follow.


	19. Chapter 19

Title courtesy of All American Rejects

Chapter 19 - Move Along

 _'God, what the fuck have I done?_ '

_Blood was everywhere. Her hands were stained, her clothes were soaked, and some had even splattered into her mouth. Two still-warm bodies, including the woman that gave birth to her, lie in pools of their own sticky juices._

_She reacted fast, something she learned on the streets. She quickly rummaged through the drawers, taking what little valuables that were found, but, more importantly, leaving the perception of a robbery. Also equally important was emptying the pockets of the corpses in front of her, finding two bags of red sand._

_She had routinely scrubbed the criminal database of any proof that she existed, instead tying her prints to a random missing addict. After showering and donning clothing she had found in her search, she bagged her bloodied garb for burning after she made her deliberately nonchalant escape._

_The smell of the fire in the dumpster burned her nose, or maybe it was the red sand she snorted to kill the pain, the guilt, the anguish, and, more importantly, the haunting vision. The next thing she remembered was waking up in the apartment of Ashley Williams._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Somewhere in Space

Shepard opened her eyes, her head absolutely pounding – as if a gong was reverberating inside her temples. "Ugghhhh." She felt the mattress shift behind her as an arm snaked around her bare abdomen, a tongue caressing her shoulder. 

"Morning, love." The cooing of Liara's voice was highlighted with a morning raspiness that managed to spark a response in Shepard, even in the massively hung-over state she was in.

As her eyes regained focus, she noticed that her shirt was only one of the many articles of clothing scattered on the floor. The warming touch of Liara's textured skin felt comforting and sensual against her bare back and ass. _Wait, what the fuck happened?_

Liara began pulling away "Jaye, are you ... okay?" Trepidation seeped out of her raspy morning voice.

Immediately grabbing Liara's arm and pulling her back in close, Shepard began to search her memories. _Don't fuck this up, Shepard._ "Just a headache, beautiful." 

The night before … so much of it was a blur. They had been lying in bed, the Asari lying on top, trailing biotic kisses up her chest. She took her shirt off, recalling vaguely the sensation of Liara’s mouth encompassing her nipples, and grinding her hips into Liara, who mirrored her motions. 

"I was worried for a second that you were regretting last night, waking up with me this morning." 

_Regret what?_ The next thing she remembered was waking up a short time ago. _Oh, fucking hell._ "Liara, I never regret any time I spend with you." Rolling on her back, Shepard suddenly pulled the covers up to her neck, masking her confusion with what little strength she had, suddenly realizing how her mouth felt like she had been sucking on a wool sock for weeks. "My head just ... hurts."

"You drank too much. I forget humans have a lower tolerance to alcohol." 

Shepard felt Liara's hand creeping up the center of her chest, tracing a line along her breastbone. The electricity she felt the night before was replaced with bewilderment and a growing feeling of suppressed anxiety. _Try to remember, please remember._

"I am going to make you some tea and get you something to eat. And as much as I would like to spend the entire day in bed with you, we should be landing on Eden Prime shortly." Liara rolled to the edge of the bed, bending over to pick up something from the floor before turning around with a shirt in her hands.

Seeing Liara standing in front of her naked, Shepard managed a tiny gasp, despite her physical condition. “God, you are gorgeous.” 

“No matter how much you say that, it still excites me as much as the first.” Liara blushed slightly as she slid the shirt over her head and circled to the other side of the bed, sitting down on the edge. “You know I find you extremely attractive as well.” The doctor peeled back the covers and dropped her lips to Shepard’s chest, planting a full wet kiss. “I will be back momentarily, my sexy protector.”

Jumping out of bed, Shepard hastily tossed a shirt over her head, grabbed some clean clothes, and headed to the shower for a quick freshen-up. The rate of her breathing had increased, as well as the volume of intake -- she was approaching a state of panic. _What the fuck happened? Damn it, remember._ She stared into the mirror, tears starting to well in her eyes. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How is she really, Niket? I can only see so much on hacked security feeds." Crystal blue eyes stared into the vid screen, concerned determination seeping through her expression.

"I told you, she's happy. She has found herself a boyfriend and a good job working for some scientist. That's how they met."

"Yes, I knew about the job, but not the boyfriend. I am running constant checks on all of them to make sure they aren't on my father's payroll."

"She can take care of herself, just like you, Miri. Have faith in her"

 _I knew what he was when I ran away. She doesn't even know the danger she's in._ "He has found me before, which is why I am where I am. He will not find her."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Eden Prime

The last of the supplies were being unloaded to the colony, which was made up of the vast excavation team and their families. In preparation for their arrival, and due to Shepard's paranoid nature, a new series of protocols were established to ensure safety. Tali had been monitoring communication signals in and out of Eden Prime for days. Quick background checks were run on each member of the colony, with extensive investigating being done when needed, and all traffic, inbound and out, was being watched.

With Shepard remaining at her side at all times, Liara donned her best diplomatic demeanor and toured the facility with keen observation, as her mother instructed. She was able to control her inquisitive scientific side until her other duties were complete, and then gushed like a child in a candy store. 

"Shepard, look at the Prothean tech just sticking out of the ground. No matter how many I have studied, I am still amazed." 

"It's pretty cool. I'm happy you are getting so much ... stuff to study. It should keep you busy for the next few centuries." 

Her escort was sporting the new set of armor they picked up in Illium and Liara had been admiring her since she first set eyes on her. "I take it you are feeling a bit better, love?" The doctor walked over to the elevator leading down into the lower dig site and the couple descended into its depths.

"Yeah, you always know how to take good care of me. It's one of the things I like about you so much."

Despite how their relationship had blossomed in the previous days, Shepard still kept her barriers up most of the time, except when they were being intimate. That was when she let everything freely show: fear, desire, anticipation, hesitation, caring … and, dare she say, perhaps love? Liara was hesitant about even the shallowest of melds, fearing the rejection she was plagued with her entire life. But the physical closeness they had shared was glorious and primal. Being able to please the one she desired was consuming. She was taught at a young age how to use her attractiveness as well as all of her other skills to reach her goals. Shepard was the one -- she believed it in her heart. "You take care of me, too." Liara pulled Shepard into a hidden corner behind some crates and planted a hungry kiss on her lips. "Do you realize how incredibly sexy you are in that armor?"

The shy, demure bodyguard had resurfaced, much to Liara's surprise. "Do you really think I'm ... sexy?"

"Yes, and if I can be so bold, if you remained in that armor tonight ... while we are alone, I would not be disappointed in the least. Especially when you talk with that arrogant, powerful voice of yours, just like you did last night."

"Liara ...."

"We can ... " the Asari grabbed Shepard's gloved hand and kissed each finger, "break it in, so to speak."

Walking out into the open, Shepard remarked, "Not now, I have to concentrate on keeping you safe. We don't know what's going on yet with those thugs from Therum." The human clicked open her omni to run a scan.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Somewhere in Space

Trying to keep her mind off the previous evening, Shepard was cross-referencing the business holdings data Benezia had forwarded over with what she and Tali had uncovered on their own. Unsurprisingly, the matriarch’s information was still incomplete. Why she wouldn’t want to provide each and every bit of information in order to keep her daughter, _more importantly her heir,_ safe was beyond Shepard’s comprehension. She was determined to keep Liara safe, even if it meant protecting her from her own mother. 

_But how can I protect her from me?_ The previous night was still a blur of flashes and images, but as the night moved ahead, any continuity of consciousness was lost. She had been fighting tears all day. Forgetting something that was so important to her, like any time she spent with Liara, was tearing her up from within. So she dealt with it the same way she dealt with anything in her life: by concentrating on her job. 

Focusing her efforts on a new item, she looked over the manifest Liara bought from Illium. Shepard was the only one handling the hacks for this information, as Liara wanted to keep her mother's suspicions to a minimum -- especially after the meeting with Erinya. Over the years, Benezia became accustomed to Liara questioning anyone and everyone about her sire and began to ignore it, obviously trusting in her ability to keep a secret for nearly a century. The only names on the list were ones Liara already knew: the ship's captain and XO with no other attached crew members, Shiala, who was her childhood tutor, the names of all the commandos, the usual religious escorts, and then nothing but a number to account for the additions. 

The problem was, the amount of people departing and leaving at each stop was not broken down, so any number of people could have come and gone in that time. And with as many stops, it was a tangled mess. The captain of the ship was long dead, but the XO was now assigned to the Council's flagship and they had an appointment with her next stop.

 _God, what am I going to do about Liara?_ She felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes once again and leaned her forehead down on the desk trying to regain some sort of control. She heard her door slide open and squeezed her eyes tightly then blinked a few times, making sure there were no traces of moisture anywhere.

"I brought you some tea. You look like you could use it." 

Shepard rubbed her eyes after lifting her head to see her assistant balancing two large mugs in her hands. "Thanks, Sam, I can." She reached out for the mug and sat back in her chair. "Taking a break?"

"Their feeds are being analyzed and I have notifications set up on my omni if there's a glitch of some kind." Traynor took the chair on the other side of the desk, holding the mug between both hands and inhaling the aroma. "I love Earl Grey, reminds me of Oxford." 

Shepard sipped from her mug and placed it back on the desk, feeling the warmth radiate down her throat. 

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"I'm okay, just not feeling well today." Taking the cup to her lips, she drank a big gulp. "Did you get a chance to play with the new mods that Tali installed for you yet?"

"Just the drone as I didn't get time today to practice the others on anything. We set the drone up with safety controls so I can use it in the cargo hold." Traynor rose from her chair and turned to face the wall, appearing nervous and coy. "I am looking forward to tomorrow. I spent all my times in science books and ignored everything else. I guess it's time I learned and I can't tell you how happy I am that you agreed to help me." Turning back around, she retook her seat and sipped her tea. "May I ask you something personal?"

Shepard started to grin while crossing her arms in front of her chest. "I don't know ... you didn't help me out when Tali made me empty my pockets." 

"I promise you I will not let that happen again. So, do I get a question in exchange?"

"Shoot." If anything, talking to Traynor was distracting Shepard for the moment.

"What is your name? I've never seen anyone go exclusively by their last name unless they were in the military."

Shepard laughed. For some reason, most did not even bother to ask her first name, so the fact that someone was taking interest was a pleasant surprise. "It's Jaye."

A look of confusion overcame Traynor's face. "The initial?"

"Heh, no, it’s J-A-Y-E. My mother wanted a boy, I guess." Shepard downed the last of her tea.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be insensitive. Please forgive me."

"Really, Sam, no need to apologize." Shepard began to laugh. "Just, uhhh, don't let it get around. I like being mysterious. So, do you have someone special waiting on you?" _Jesus, I can't ask her for relationship advice. I can't ask anyone._

"Waiting, no ..." The beeping of the assistant's omni interrupted her mid-sentence. "Hrrmm, looks like the program just locked up, odd. That should not happen." Grabbing both mugs, Samantha headed towards the door. “It's been nice talking to you, Jaye. I hope you feel better."

Liara smirked to herself from across the ship.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Less than twelve hours after landing and the ship was already heading towards The Citadel. Uncharacteristically, Shepard let Liara work long past the time she normally intervened. She was delaying the conversation she knew she needed to have for as long as possible. 

Through the window, she watched Liara scanning data pads between glances at her terminal. The rest of the crew was long ago relaxing for the evening as Shepard pretended to work on her bodyguard duties. In reality, she was running through every possible scenario in her head as to how to tell Liara the truth, and each of the possible reactions. It was the same thinking pattern she used in her duty as a protector and as a hacker: be prepared for everything possible, knowing there were always results never expected.

 _You've avoided this long enough._ Taking a deep breath, Shepard headed towards the inevitable. Knowing no one else was on floor, she entered Liara's office and draped her arms around Liara's neck from behind and rocking her slightly. "Enough for today, beautiful. You know I hate locking your access." Before pulling away, she placed a loving kiss on the doctor's cheek.

Liara twirled her chair around, a sheepish grin on her face. "I love feeling your arms around me. I feel so ... cared for."

Shepard held out her hand and helped Liara to her feet. "Because you are. Let's go."

The couple walked hand in hand towards the elevator, swinging their arms like Earth teenagers at the prom. As the doors on the lift closed, Liara's fingertips began to slide down the middle of Shepard's chest, stopping at her stomach. "So, which of our beds do you prefer to sleep in tonight? And where is that armor? I was looking forward to seeing you in it again."

Shepard pulled back and as the door slid open, she began to speak. "Liara ..."

"No 'y' sound in my name tonight, I see." The Asari grabbed both of Shepard's hands, pulling her towards her own room. "And you are back to being shy." Liara walked the couple backwards until she seated herself on the bed, pulling Shepard towards her.

"I need to talk to you, tell you something."

"This sounds serious."

Shepard grabbed the desk chair and wheeled it over in front of her love. Determined not to cry and to accept the consequences of her actions, she began. "I don't remember a lot of last night, maybe most."

Liara's face remained unchanged, although she tilted her head slightly.

"I am so sorry. I ... don't know what to say. I..."

A reassuring smile formed on the Asari’s cobalt lips. "I now know why you are still timid and distracted today." 

The realization hit Shepard at that moment and she dropped her head into her hands.

"Stop that. Do not go tormenting yourself over anything." Liara crawled onto her knees. "I am not angry at you for forgetting the details." Liara grabbed Shepard's hands as she sat back on her heels. "Look at me, please."

Shepard looked up hesitantly. "I'm ...."

"Hush. You were wonderful last night and we have a lot of time ahead of us."

"But ... I ruined it."

Liara sat up on her knees and kissed the back of each of Shepard’s hands. "Stop. It is over and done. Tomorrow is a new day and you can make it up to me then, okay?"

"Will you let me hold you tonight as you fall asleep?"

"I would have it no other way."


	20. Chapter 20

Title courtesy of Pink.

Chapter 20 - Sober

The Citadel 

"K, I appreciate this so much. I want to make sure I'm mostly depleted when the physical stuff starts." Oriana and Kaidan were playing a game of biotic "push" in the cargo hold prior to her first lesson with Shepard and her crewmates. "I don't have as much control in physically demanding situations as I would like and want to make sure I don't misfire today."

Kaidan's barrier dropped as his eyes bugged out, causing him to fall backwards on the mat from the force of Ori's biotics.

The doctor just laughed at him and laid on the mat next to him. "You better eat an energy bar."

"If only it were that. That's not the reason I fell."

"I know." Oriana leaned over and kissed him full on the lips. "I appreciate you keeping me company while I was trying those hacks. I know you were tired, but you stayed up anyway, so thank you."

The couple rose to their feet upon hearing the sound of the lift opening. Liara sauntered in with a curious look on her face as the couple quickly sprung to their feet. After leaning over and kissing Ori on the cheek, Kaidan greeted Liara and made his exit.

"You seem so much happier these last few days, Ori. Am I to assume Kaidan is to blame?" Baggy sweatpants and a tee was not something Oriana had seen Liara wear before and she was still a bit shocked at the sight, no matter how appropriate the attire was.

"He's most of the reason. But I had a talk with my parents about my search. I had been hesitant to tell them the truth about my curiosity. I didn't want to hurt them. But they were supportive." Oriana took a seat on the crate next to her fellow doctor. "Not telling them what I was doing somehow felt like lying to them."

"But if you did not tell them, it would have been with good intentions in mind." Liara once again seemed to be anxiously awaiting Oriana's response, hanging on her every word.

"Yes, but my mother taught me to trust in the ones I love enough to let them love me in return."

 

"I am ... envious of your relationship with them. Did the information brokers yield any results?"

"I tried both and the only lead I received was a partial name which I have been working on."

The two continued discussing the Eden Prime data steams, both exasperated at their lack of tangible results. Ori's tour of the colony, however, she found particularly fascinating and logged it in her mind as a future destination where she might like to settle down. Both, as usual, were so enthusiastic about their research, that they did not hear Shepard and Traynor enter the hold in a fit of laughter.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Destiny Ascension was located in a private dock reserved exclusively for official council frigates and this was their flagship. Liara had visited many Asari cruisers in her various travels with her mother, but this was the epitome of ships both in size and power. It would take literally days to thoroughly tour the Ascension, made up of a crew well over ten thousand.

Their captain was Matriarch Lidanya, and like every prominent Asari in the galaxy it seemed, an old friend of Benezia. Her mother's ties had been a double-edged sword when it came to her quest. She often was able to get meetings with anyone she desired, but never seemed to make any progress despite her efforts. 

Liara watched her bodyguard soak up what little of the ship they were escorted through on their way to the captain's quarters. She loved being able to open Shepard up to new experiences, to show her the universe like she promised when they first met. 

She cared for Shepard more deeply than she ever imagined she would. At first it was a genuine like with passionate desire taking the forefront. But as they built a friendship and as she realized the loyalty and heart that Shepard possessed, the feelings became deeper and it scared her. She had not allowed herself to build connections with others since an early age, as she learned the heartbreak of rejection and abandonment. 

The moment she melded with Shepard and felt how loyal she was, Liara knew for sure how she felt for the human. She could only hope that in time, the feelings would be mutual, but with Shepard always being so guarded and so hesitant, Liara could not be sure.

 _How did Ori put it? Trust the ones you love._ For someone so young, she was wise beyond her years. Perhaps it was the result of an upbringing that involved very loving parents on top of her incredible intelligence and keen sense of observation. Liara smiled while thinking of her assistant. It was good to call someone "friend" again.  
Shepard had tried unsuccessfully to retrieve any notable information from various sources to fill out the roster information that Nyxeris had provided. Asari, as a rule of thumb, were very guarded about any information which could possibly be hacked, no matter how miniscule or unimportant it may seem, which meant most databases were not even hooked up to the extranet. If she knew where the ship's log was located, if it even still existed, she could put Kasumi and Keiji on it at once. 

Lidanya was sitting behind her desk as they entered, her eyes focused on Liara with a wondrous gaze. "The last time I saw you, you were barely two months old." The elder Asari stood and smiled before greeting Shepard with a nod. "Forgive me. Please sit. How can I help you, Liara?"

"I hope for your discretion in the matter, Matriarch, as you will surely see my desire for secrecy. I am hoping to write a biography of my mother culminating with her grand tour in 2076 and present it to her on her birthday the year after next. I was hoping to gain access to my mother's regime and perhaps interview some of the crew, like yourself, to gain insight."

"I wish I could help you, Liara, but I was relegated to ship duties while the Captain dealt with delegates and such. While that ship may not be the size of this one, I rarely saw anyone outside of my duties. A section of the ship was sectioned off for the party, as is customary for such esteemed guests, so most would not have been overly familiar with the entourage."

Liara felt a genuine honesty seeping from the Matriarch, as well as disappointment that she could not provide assistance. "Would there perhaps be records somewhere that I could attain?"

"I am afraid I do not have access to that, even if they still exist. Each ship, depending on the mission, has different protocols to follow. That mission was overseen by the matriarch council, so only they would have such records."

"You spent a lot of time captaining my mother’s voyages that following year, though, did you not? Is there anyone else you can point me towards?"

Liara felt the sadness and loss Lidanya felt as the mention of her time spent with Benezia. "I am sorry I can not help you. I truly am." She stood and headed towards the door. "I apologize for bringing this to a close, but I have a meeting to attend."

The couple stood and made their exit through the airlock before either spoke.

"Sorry, I know you were hoping for more information. This isn't turning out well."

"We did find something out, Jaye. She knows Benezia more than she has let on. Knowing someone who genuinely _likes_ her without feeling any apprehension or awe is rare. We need to look into Lidayna’s history more."

 _Trust in the ones you love._ Shepard had held her the night before so tightly as the couple drifted into sleep. The closeness was pure bliss and the Asari began to felt a jolt of guilt for not relieving her of the self-imposed guilt she was feeling. _Tonight I will meld with her and she will know. Trust in the ones you love._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard hastily made her way towards the Consort's location, taking every precaution to hide her anxiety. It had been easy to slip away with Liara trying to make sense of all the new artifacts and analysis's from their recent stop. The thought of having yet another part of her life as a gaping hole plagued her for only a day, but it was a day too long. She could not risk asking Liara to meld in an attempt to unlock her recollection, even though she knew she would if Shepard actually asked the Asari. She could not in good conscience remind Liara of her own failure to remember. As much as Liara was being supportive, she had not offered a meld, and Shepard was not going to add to her burden.

The Consort and her acolytes were discreet. She had no intention of dealing with her directly due to her relationship with Liara, but any of her employees would work. Once again, she took her ritual deep breath and walked in.

"Welcome, again. You are a friend of Dr. T'Soni, I believe, but I don't recognize you as one of The Consort's prospective clients today. Would you like me to ... see when she will be able to meet with you?"

Shepard's shoulders sagged in disappointment. "Nelyna, isn't it?"

The Consort's assistant possessed the perfect demeanor for dealing with any and all prospective clients. Her voice and facial expressions were friendly and inviting, and most of all, she tried to be as accommodating as possible. She simply nodded her head in response. 

"Actually, I was hoping to be able to ... uhhh ... spend time with an acolyte if possible. I need help with something."

"Well ... Shepard, if you give me a little more information, I can try to match you with an acolyte with the specialty to suit your needs."

Shepard looked around and lowered her voice, despite the lack of others in proximity. "I just need a simple meld to help me remember something. But I need to take care of it now. It shouldn't take too long."

"I am afraid that our acolytes only tend to our client list. We should be able ..." Nelyna paused and nodded her head a moment before clicking her commlink. "Yes Sha'ira. I will see to it personally." Donning her best smile, her eyes once again met the human's. "If you will excuse me a moment and head to the room behind me, I will be with you shortly."

Shepard ducked quickly into the back room, noticing a massage table along with the usual sitting room furnishings, and fell into the corner of the poofy sofa. Soon after, Nelyna sauntered in and sat next to the human.

"Would it be easier for you to relax if I were to ease the tension in your muscles? We have a comfortable table available." Her arm made a sweeping motion across the room.

"No, nothing but a meld. I need you to help me remember what happened last night. I have some images, but not the entire night. I need to know."

The assistant grabbed Shepard's hand and smiled before her eyed faded to onyx. 

_Liara was sitting between my legs as I rested my chin on her shoulder, feeling her against my body as we watched the vid._

Nelyna moved the memories forward. 

_Liara was lying underneath me. I fumbled with the straps on her top and then she had left to go change. I slipped my underwear off and laid back._

Then nothing until she saw the view she woke up to just that morning. Shepard reached out to grasp Nelyna’s hand as she pulled it away. “No, this is where I need to remember. What happened between that? Please.” She was desperate and convinced this would work. 

“There is nothing to remember, Jaye. You fell asleep.”

“I did … what???!”

“You fell asleep.”

Her heart raced. She felt the anger welling up inside, betrayal, anguish. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, you have nothing more to remember. This isn’t good news? There was only a small amount of memories that needed to be rediscovered and put back into place.”

“Yes, it is good news.” _And it isn’t. Liara fucking lied to me._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Liara wasn't kidding when she said the security on this thing would be tricky." Keiji and Kasumi were working on the electronic locking mechanism protecting Benezia T'Soni's bedroom safe. With the layout and guard schedule Liara had provided, as well as the minimal amount of commandos on location due to the matriarch's absence, the break in was relatively simple. "Keiji, I am detecting something else, though it is hidden. There are gaps, but nothing is there." 

"Don't trip anything then. Search out what it is before proceeding. We don't want to set off any silent triggers. Who knows what will happen if we do."

"It has been disabled." The voice belonged to an Asari with purple skin and darker purple markings surrounding her eyes.

The two thieves froze instantly as soon as they realized they were not alone. Both Kasumi and Keiji could initiate their stealth if necessary, but the words that greeted them were not threatening. Keiji turned around, sizing up the glowing Asari in the doorway.

"Since only three of us know the existence of this safe, I assume Liara sent you. She always wanted to know what was inside. You have five minutes before the security reboots.”

Keiji nodded at Kasumi who opened the safe and began grabbing the items from within consisting of a modest bracelet, two ancient Asari religious texts, numerous credit chits, and various datapads.

"Leave the datapads and take the rest. The bracelet is what she wants." The biotic glow disappeared from the matron once Kasumi returned the datapads to their original locale. "Now leave and make sure no one knows of our meeting, especially Liara. I will know if you do not honor this and Benezia will not be pleased to find out who broke into her safe." With those words, she disappeared from the doorway and down the hall.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The silence in the lift was smothering. Shepard had entered Liara's office with a very passive expression and pace, but for once, her feelings were erupting. Liara felt her presence before the door slid open and it screamed anger and betrayal. _Calm, remain calm. One of us has to be._

Shepard marched into her room and took a noticeable deep breath before turning around. "Why?" Her voice remained calm despite everything she was feeling.

"I am not sure I know what you are referring to." 

"Why did you lie to me?" She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. "Nothing happened last night. Why did you lie to me?"

Liara began to panic with the words coming out of her mouth before even realizing what was being said. "I never told you anything happened. You assumed whatever you assumed and you never bothered to tell me or ask me anything. How am I supposed to know what you were thinking?"

"Fucking convenient." The volume of her voice was growing with each word. 

"And what do you mean 'nothing' happened? Does our time together mean so little to you that you refer to it as 'nothing'?"

"Don't turn this back on me. You knew what I was upset about. Why did you do that to me, Liara? I trusted you and you led me to believe I had done something, we had done something. Why?"

"Because you were too scared to, except when you were drunk. I thought you would just relax finally if you had nothing to worry about."

"Scared?"

"Yes, scared. How long did it take you to even admit how you felt?"

"That's not the point. You manipulated me. I trusted you. I thought there was no way you would manipulate me. How stupid I was to think I was special to you."

"Oh, please, Shepard. You passed out on me. I came back and you were naked and asleep. You obviously had something on your mind when you took your own clothes off. Do not put this all on me."

"I fucking trusted you and you manipulated me, just like you do to everyone else."

"Jaye ..."

"I ... I thought I was something to you more than a pawn on a chess board. You know what? You're just like your mother." Shepard walked past the Asari to the elevator and began pounding the button until it opened.

And then it hit Liara. She hurt the one person in the world she loved and thought would love her back. _Maybe I am becoming my mother._ She went into her room and began to sob.


	21. Chapter 21

Title courtesy of Missy Higgins.

Chapter 21 - If I'm Honest

The Citadel 

Something was definitely going on. Liara had been distant and unfocused for the previous few hours. Whereas sometimes she stared off when thinking of a particularly fascinating piece of data, she stared at nothing, lacking any focus. Oriana could have sworn her eyes appeared slightly puffy and swollen even, as if she had been crying. 

After her fellow doctor exhaled a breathy sigh for the third time in ten minutes, Oriana flipped the switch to close the window shutters, locked the door with her omni, and wheeled her chair next to Liara. "Is something wrong?"

"What would give you that idea? I am just trying to ..." Oriana noticed the Asari biting her bottom lip mid-sentence. "... I am just tying to make sense of all of this."

"I could tell you this is an official consultation which binds me to keep it between us, but I think you know me well enough to know that formality isn't necessary for me to respect your privacy." Oriana reached out and put her hand on Liara's. "You can talk to me."

Liara's eyes squinted at the human as if she was assessing her choices. "I made a horrible mistake and before I was able to rectify it ..." Liara squeezed her eyes tightly together, forcibly swallowing with a gulp as her head lightly trembled. "I just found her and now I pushed her away." 

Oriana grabbed Liara's hands and held them tightly as the silent tears glistened down the Asari's freckled cheeks. As Liara recanted the details of their disagreement, her fellow doctor listened without judgment. 

"Everything in my heart is telling me to go talk to her, make her understand."

"But ...?"

"But everything in my mind is telling me to give her time." Liara once again closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. "Ori, what do I do? If I had your insight in the first place, I would have not gotten myself into this situation."

"Do you have anything that she needs to be around for today?"

"No, we were just going to spend the evening together." The tears welled up in Liara's eyes. "My soul feels ... torn. This does not make sense. We have only known each other a short while. It should not hurt this much."

"Feelings do not have to be logical. If you didn't care about her so much, it wouldn't hurt so much either." Oriana flashed a comforting smile. "That goes for Shepard too. If she didn't care about you, she wouldn't have reacted as strongly as she did."

A flicker of hope appeared in Liara's eyes for the first time since the couple fought. "So what should I do?"

"I would send her a message telling her to take the night off and that when she is ready to talk, you would appreciate a few moments to explain and apologize." 

"This goes against everything I was taught. I was told to go and take ..." Liara sighed as a look of dread overtook her face. "Goddess, I am just fucking like her. Shepard was right."

"No, you aren't. The fact that you stopped in the middle of that sentence proves you aren't. Look, Liara, we don't have much choice in what we are told is right and wrong while growing up. The key is to decide what we want to change when we get older. Sometimes the only way to learn is to make mistakes." 

Liara stood and began pacing slowly as the logical thought processes began working again. She stopped and smiled to herself before sitting back down next to the other doctor.

"How did you become so wise?"

"I'm a doctor. Most of my job is listening and observing my patients. It's amazing the strength and resolve that appears in dire times, especially in the family members. I learned a lot from them, and my parents of course." Oriana's crystal blue eyes reflected the pure joy she felt in her heart as she was speaking. "Why don't you spend the evening with me?"

"I cannot leave the ship or else Shepard would feel the need to be with me. I want to give her freedom. I will just work on these data feeds to occupy my time."

"Kaidan is going out with the boys, so I was just going to order take out and watch some stupid romantic vid, and you are going to suffer through it with me. Doctor’s orders." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Kasumi's fingers trailed lightly through the hair on Keiji's chest, resting her head on his shoulder. "So, do we tell her or don't we? I don't like keeping things from Liara or Sheppy."

"We can't risk being more of a target than we already are. Being tied to a specific theft is not what we need, especially with an Asari Matriarch as powerful as Benezia."

"I don't like lying to them."

Keiji tightened his grasp around Kasumi as he kissed the top of her head. "For now we keep it to ourselves, but let's see if we can find out more about exactly who that mysterious Asari is and decide from there."

"If you say so, I trust you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hour number four of her headache and still counting. The pain stormed into her temples before she even left the elevator. Shepard had known it was coming. They originally started at a very young age when she was under a lot of stress. Through the years she had learned to not let most things affect her, but there was no controlling this. 

Shepard was working at Tali's terminal near the engine room while the quarian led the team installing the scanner into the new rover. She concentrated on getting the software upgrades for the handheld scanner as best she could, but her fight with Liara was weighing heavily on her mind. 

_I need to get out of here._ Her head felt like it was stuck in a vice, but even worse, the entire ship felt like a giant collapsing prison. Everything around reminded her of Liara. _She had no right to do that to me._ Shepard pursed her lips in aggravation. _I shouldn't have said she was like her mother._ She shook her head and slammed her fist into her thigh.

Liara's message was still sitting open on the terminal screen as she had been rereading it time and again. She wants to apologize. Shepard once again replayed the fight on her mind's eye. _I'm not a coward._ The day at the docks flashed into her memories. _I had to be sure._

Her mind drifted to the meeting with Ashley in Afterlife. Another friend, lost. She remembered how cared for she felt when Liara eased her headache, the night she allowed herself to cry in front of someone else for the first time since she was a small child. _She wants to apologize._ Shepard heard the voice of Nelyna in her mind. _'You fell asleep.'_ Shepard sighed deeply. _I drank too much. I wanted it, too._

Shepard read Liara's message again. _She wants to apologize._ But those words were echoing 'How am I supposed to know what you were thinking.' The human then checked the video feeds and after a few glances, saw who she needed to see, and headed off to find Traynor. _Too fucking bad._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"What is it, Shiala? I have a meeting shortly." The suites at the Hotel Noveria were all specially designed to accommodate any possible visiting guest to their establishment. These particular quarters mirrored the best hotels on Thessia, catering to the needs of matriarchs with refreshments, decor, furnishings, and terminal hookups, since the most cautious of Asari always brought their own interfacing technology. 

“You are not going to like this, Matriarch, but the house was broken into and your bedroom safe was mostly emptied." 

" _That_ safe? How would they know to go for that one unless Li ..." A scowl immediately appeared on Benezia's face

Shiala's face remained unchanged as she interrupted the matriarch mid-sentence. "It appears that the database of the company who installed it was compromised and other clients have also been robbed. For obvious reasons, they did not want to reveal their breach of security. I have already spoken to their contact and await your orders in moving forward."

"You said mostly. What was left?"

"I was doing my rounds and heard a commotion. The thief was already exiting out the balcony when I arrived. The only items left were a few datapads."

Benezia maintained her composure for all but a split second as it dawned on her exactly what had been stolen. "Send me a detailed report including what specific datapads were left. My meeting has just arrived." 

The beeping had alerted her of the impending visitor in the private lift. As the doors slid open, the remnant smell of smoke wafted into the room. Her meeting was with the head of a new investment group that was looking to enter into a joint venture with the wealthy and business-savvy Asari. The pair of commandos stopped the man as he entered the sitting room and ran a quick scan.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Matriarch Benezia. I’m Tim Sheen." 

The Asari motioned to the couch as her servants began preparing refreshments. "I do not have much time, so let's get to the point, shall we?"

"I like your style." The human was of middle age with slicked back brown hair. His lips kept moving, as if something was missing. "Cord-Hislop is looking to expand into the cybernetics fields. We have a facility set up on Virmire with a team of scientists to head up the research. We just need more financing and your name has been brought to our attention as a possible interested party." Sheen reached into his pocket a tossed something in his mouth after removing a wrapper.

"And what makes you think I would be interested in this particular field of business, Mr. Sheen?"

"Because also located on Virmire, on the property where our facility is located, some very advanced Prothean technology was discovered. And if my sources are correct, you have an interest in that race in particular. I think we can help each other."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard was hoping that spending the evening off the ship would release the virtual straightjacket squeezing her soul, but it didn't. Instead of being distracted all night, reminders of Liara kept creeping up. First Traynor wanted to have Japanese food and offered to show Shepard how to use chopsticks. Then when Shepard refused after recalling the night the couple had eaten sushi on her bed, Traynor suggested Apollo's Café, which was yet another spot the couple had spent time together.

After much debate, they settled on a simple burger from an Earth-styled diner, and Shepard had decided that something physical was the best way to relax her mind and burn off energy. She dragged Traynor to a training facility designed especially for engineers and went to work on honing the assistant's skills with the mods Tali had installed.

Surprisingly, Samantha was a quick learner. The safeties had been set and the targets activated as the assistant aimed her omni at the moving robots and organic models. As one hour had ticked into two, her aim surpassed beginner's level and had impressed Shepard enough to order the installation of the more offense-based and "fun" mods. 

"The important thing to remember, Sam, is who you are fighting against. Cryo is your friend if you find yourself thinking instead of reacting. It will buy you time."

"I think once I got past the thinking phase, it became easier. When the targets were moving around quickly, I only could react."

"Hopefully you will never have to use any of this, but it always made me feel better while growing up, knowing I could handle myself."

Traynor stepped in front of the other human as they entered the mostly-deserted docks. "Hey, Jaye, I'm glad we spent time together, just the two of us." She leaned against the railing, assuming a very relaxed posture. "You are always working, so it is nice to see you having fun. But I can't help but wonder something ..."

Shepard mirrored the pose but remained cautious of what was to follow and decided to deflect with humor. She had enough serious talk with Liara to last her a while. "No, my middle name is not Kaye."

"Amusing, but no. I just wanted you to know, if there was something on your mind, you could speak to me about it. I would like to think we are friends. You seemed distracted all day, except at the range."

"No, just a headache is all. But appreciate the concern." She began walking towards the ship, hoping Traynor would take the hint and drop the subject.

"Well, I am thankful you took the time to train me tonight. You seem to have all the skills I wish I had, so I would love to learn more from you. I tried my hand at writing programs once, but working with finished products always made more sense to me." They stood and waited while the decontamination sequence began. "And I was always afraid to learn how to defend myself, even though that is an oxymoron of sorts."

Shepard clicked on her omni and smiled at Traynor. "Tali is at her terminal. She will install your new mods quickly if you want to head down there. Don't get your hopes up yet -- the safety settings are there until you are trained properly."

"Were you heading to bed then?"

"Yeah, I am pretty drained. Going to grab something for this headache first." Shepard headed into sickbay and began rifling through the unlocked cabinet that was stocked for everyday treatments, which Oriana did not have to oversee. She knew she had to deal with Liara eventually, and as much as she hated taking any sort of medication, she knew she needed something if there was any chance of sleeping. 

Her omni tweeted alerting her to a new message being delivered. 

_From: A_

_Shepard,_

_Williams was asking for you. She said she needs to talk to you and you know how to find her. I told her to fuck off. You owe me._

Shepard smiled. _Fuck her._ As she hit delete on her newest message, the one from Liara flashed in its place and the pain in her head instantly doubled. She wants to apologize. 

Shepard found herself falling into the past. How her mother, the one person in the world that everyone should be able to count on, wanted to "give" her away. How she manipulated her own daughter into thinking she would protect her. How she lost two weeks of her life after the stabbings when she was too high to remember anything. Fuck her, too. She had grabbed a glass and began squeezing it in her hand, channeling all of her anger and her rage into destroying the object, like her mother tried to destroy her. 

Then she looked at the message again still visible on her omni. Slamming the glass on the counter, she yelled at the top of her lungs, "Fuck her!" _But who is ‘her’?_ Shepard's hand bled as flecks of glass were still impaled in her skin. _Well, fuck me._ She started to reach for a shard of glass sticking out of one of her fingers when the door slid open and Traynor ran in. 

"Who were you yelling ... and what the bloody hell did you do to your hand?" Traynor immediately activated her omni and messaged Ori to head to sickbay immediately. "Stop, don't take them out yourself, in case you make it worse."

"Is that even possible?" Shepard paused for only a moment before reaching for a piece of glass with her other hand.

Traynor grabbed the uninjured hand and restrained it in her own. "I don't know, but it's best not to find out. Ori is on the way." 

Hanging out with Samantha had been fun, but she did not like her hand being held -- not by anyone but Liara. As she tried to pull it away, Shepard felt resistance from her assistant. "I won't pick at the glass."

Samantha smiled and released the hand just as Oriana appeared.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dr. Ryan had plucked the glass from Shepard’s hand and bandaged it up after applying some medi-gel. Thankfully, the cuts were not deep and nothing beyond basic first aid was required. Shepard waited for the elevator door to open, hoping Liara was nowhere to be found, and was happy when the hallway was clear and the shower was running. She quickly entered her room and sat on the bed.

 _She lied to me. No, she just didn't tell me the whole truth. Same damn thing._ Shepard heard the swish of the bathroom door and knowing Liara was just outside, she rose to her feet and walked into the hall. _What am I doing?_

Liara turned and faced her taking a deep breath. 

_She looks ... afraid?_

"What happened to your hand? Are you all right?" She reached her hand out and then stopped suddenly, looking for permission to cross into Shepard's personal space.

"It'll be fine by tomorrow, it's just a cut." The human wanted to reach out her hand to Liara, but could not, would not move. _She lied to me._

"Shepard, if you want to take a few days off, or if you would like to leave your position, I will release you from your contract." Liara's eyes fell to the ground as she withdrew her reach and began wringing her hands together. 

"No, I do not want to leave. I told you I would stay until you don't want me around. Unless you want me to go?" Her heart began pounding; she felt scared all of a sudden. _Why am I scared? I did nothing wrong._ She looked at Liara as she lifted her head, the fear lessened slightly. _I shouldn't have said she was like her mother._

"No, I do not want you to leave. I ... would be lost without you."

Shepard saw the glaze of tears form over Liara's eyes. Her head was still pounding, her heart was racing, but her mind was still raging and unfocused. "We will talk tomorrow, I promise." She turned to go back into her room and stopped. Craning her neck around, "Sweet dreams," and Shepard disappeared behind her door, keying the lock.


	22. Chapter 22

Title courtesy of Coldplay.

Nobody said it was easy   
It's such a shame for us to part   
Nobody said it was easy   
No one ever said it would be this hard 

Chapter 22 - The Scientist

Shepard had to talk to Liara; there was no getting out of it. But her thoughts were still racing and every time she had the urge, she felt this wall of stubbornness erect in front of her. Truth was, she hated falling asleep alone the previous night. She kept staring at the wall that separated her room from Liara's and wondered what exactly was happening beyond the barrier. What was she doing? Was she working or in her bed? Was she tossing and turning or was she asleep? What position was she in? What was she wearing?

Against her better judgment, she had requested something to sleep from Oriana, who was more readily to provide than she was expecting. Hopefully Liara had confided in the other doctor; Shepard didn't want her going through the turmoil alone. The human fell asleep eventually and was able to rest until she woke up that morning, realizing once again that she did not like sleeping alone.

Tali had delivered some important information to Shepard that she needed to relay immediately. The human was still avoiding "the talk" until later when she hopefully could think more clearly. She had lost her temper the other day and did not like it one bit. Being out of control was not something she was used to, and she regretted making that one final statement the day before. 

Oriana had seen her approaching Liara's office and was already exiting the room with Traynor in tow before Shepard stepped one foot inside. The blue rose sat prominently on Liara's desk, still looking as fresh as the moment she bought it. The Asari had treated it with a special coating used to preserve artifacts and it remained a permanent decoration. 

Liara's eyes looked wider than usual despite appearing tired. She sat in silence while Shepard took a seat on the opposite side of the desk, feeling a pit grow in her stomach. "We seem to have a problem, or if Tali is correct, it may be more than just one."

Liara seemed to relax a little when the topic was approached, albeit a little disappointed. "Please explain, if you will."

"There were three separate attempts to hack in the last few days. It's a good thing she updated our systems, she's brilliant."

"You said more than one? Three different sources?"

"She's not sure if it's two or three, but the signatures on the hack programs for two of them were definitely different. The third has a slight variation, so as of now it's still unknown."

Focusing on the information at hand, Liara momentarily appeared like her old calculating self. "Do we know where the hack initiated from? I imagine you would have told me already if you knew who."

Shepard relaxed as Liara did, temporarily slipping into their old familiar routine. "They bounced the signals to hide like pros and we have no idea who. She's creating a trace program to hide in fake data in case they try again."

"Do you know what specific files they were attempting to access?"

"No, her program stopped them before they could get anywhere." Shepard rubbed her chin. "I think you may be onto something. I will have her differentiate the traces enough to see what files they want. It may help us. In the meantime, we are moving files to hide them better and creating fake information." Turning her attention to her omni, Shepard began typing a message to Tali about the changes.

The fog of silence rolled in, suddenly overwhelming the momentary normalcy the pair eased into, drawing both of their thoughts back to matters of a more personal nature. Shepard gazed into Liara's eyes and she felt the defiant wall go up. "Why did you lie to me?" Her tone was calm and sincere, lacking the accusatory tone she possessed the prior evening.

Liara's demeanor was also vastly different from the first time that question was asked. She inhaled a deep breath of air as she bit her bottom lip. "I was wrong to mislead you. I should have never done that to you."

"But, why?" 

"Because I was hoping you would just relax and open yourself to me. I was wrong." The tears welled up in her eyes, but Liara reached deeply, finding the strength to be honest and vulnerable. "I thought if we were ... intimate, if I gave myself to you, that you would not abandon me like everyone else did. I was scared that I could lose you."

Shepard remained silent.

"And I wanted to feel closer to you. I ... care about you very much."

 _Hold your tongue._ Shepard wanted to call her a spoiled brat, wanted to lash out returning the pain she felt but what was the pain she was feeling. Everything was still muddled with her past and it was not fair to blame Liara for that. "I need to take a walk. We will finish this later." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard sat down on the stool in Apollo’s Café and threw a fifty credit chit down. Her inner fire was burning and she needed to cool it off.

“Relax, kid. I’ll take you in the back for free.” The Asari bartender had an odd garble to her voice, unlike most Asari she ever came across, who possessed a more melodic tone.

“Just water, lots of ice.” No more ryncol, no more brandy, no more blackouts.

The bartender put a tall glass in front of Shepard. “Okay, no sex. You must want advice.”

Shepard took a long drink, but kept her composure as she always did around anyone – well, anyone but Liara, it seemed. “What makes you think I don’t want to just be alone?”

“Because you sat down here instead of somewhere else.” This Asari had an edge to her, a real rough edge cutting straight to the point, void of any of the grace found in Liara.

Shepard shook her head. “Just didn’t want to keep getting up.” She finished her water and pushed her glass forward.

“So, what is it, girl trouble?”

Shepard did not flinch; she kept looking at her empty glass, still sitting on the counter. 

“Boy trouble?”

Shepard's lip curled into a sneer momentarily.

“So, girl trouble it is then.” The bartender refilled the glass and leaned over the counter once more. “The one you were in here with a few weeks ago?” 

Shepard again remained silent. 

“I’m better at this if you help me out, kid.” 

She looked up at this strange server who seemed to be completely comfortable in the self-appointed role of advisor. “Name’s Shepard.”

“Okay, Shepard. So, did you and your girlfriend have a tiff?”

“What makes you think she was my girlfriend?” Shepard was trying to look as nonchalant as she could, running her fingertip around the rim of the glass.

The bartender snorted and laughed. “I was in love once. Spent three centuries with her. Best years of my life. Great set of tits, like your gal.” 

Shepard furrowed her eyebrows. 

“The point is, I’ve spent over a hundred years fucking everything in the galaxy trying to forget her. Hasn’t worked yet and you don’t seem to be willing to try and help me.”

Shepard would have laughed, had she still not felt so completely awful. 

“Ask yourself something. If you’re this upset, is your pride more important than trying to work it out? If she’s not worth it, then why are you so upset in the first place? That, and you two need to just fuck and get it over with. That was obvious the first time you were in here.”

Shepard felt the heat filling her face, prompting her to stand up and drain the remaining water in her glass. “What’s your name?”

“Matriarch Aethyta.” She began wiping the bar where the condensation had left a ring.

“Thanks … for the drink.” Shepard turned and began to walk away.

“Anytime, kid.” The bartender slid the chit into a pocket in her sleeve, water was free after all. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The stroll through the gardens was clearing her mind, allowing her to sort through her anger. She never dealt with what had happened nine years prior. When she woke up after her two week blackout, she never wanted to look back. But as much as she did not want to admit it, she had carried it with her all these years. It was the reason she didn't make friends -- it was the reason she didn't want to. It was part of the reason she had been hesitant with Liara. 

The crazy bartender was right: Liara was worth fighting for. If she didn't care so much, she wouldn't have gotten so upset. She would have brushed it off and moved on. Taking a seat on a bench, she closed her eyes and assumed a meditative calmness. The sound of water splashing into the fountains and the feel of the spray on her face had a cleansing effect on Shepard's reflections. It was time to move forward and quit being so afraid. Liara was worth taking a big risk for. The happiness she felt when thinking about Liara, when she was with Liara, could not compare to anything else. She felt whole. She knew what she had to do. A familiar voice echoed in the distance, distracting her from the blissful trance she was happily lost in.

"Here you are. When you didn't answer your pages, I began to get worried." Easing down closely to Shepard, Samantha smirked as the other human opened her eyes. "You look deep in thought. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"Nothing to talk about. Is there a problem I was needed for? I put my omni on silent mode for a little relaxation time." Liara had a special notification for emergencies which had not been activated, but she checked her messages nonetheless. There were only three, all from Traynor.

Sam took a drink from her straw, her lips turning orange from whatever was inside the cup. "No, I was just wondering if you would share some of your music with me. Anything from Earth interests me."

Shepard stood up and smiled at Traynor. "Let's go. It's in my bedroom, but the transfer shouldn't take too long."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The fear was rotting her from the inside. She took her guard down, was honest with Shepard about how she felt, admitted she did wrong, and yet Jaye was still angry when she left the room. Liara kept telling herself to give it time, to trust in her enough to love her back, to trust in Oriana's wisdom. It had been partially working until she saw Shepard return with Traynor strutting by her side.

 _Did she just ... Goddess, she did._ Traynor reached her arm quickly around Shepard's shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze as they walked to the lift. There is no reason to be jealous. _Jaye cares about me. She is also still angry with me._

She stared at the terminal screen for what seemed like an eternity before standing up and promptly sitting back down. _She said we will talk later, and now is later. I will just talk to her about Keiji and Kasumi's message, that is all._ Liara exited her office and entered the lift.

As the elevator door slid open, Liara was shocked to see Traynor standing there waiting for the elevator, hair a bit messed, wearing one of Shepard's shirts. Liara put her on her best diplomatic face and greeted her with a big smile, bottling the flood of emotions ready to explode. 

_Relax. Trust in her to love you back._ Liara's heart thumped in her chest. As she stood in the hall, trying to gain her composure, her omni signaled a message from Shepard. _Here it comes._ Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door and entered. 

Jaye was sitting on her bed, looking peaceful and radiating a calmness that Liara hadn't felt from her since their disagreement. 

She felt sick suddenly. _Goddess, no._ And then for the second day in a row, Liara panicked. "You were hesitant to be intimate with me but ... her?"

"No, why would I do that with anyone else?"

"She was wearing your shirt. She was in your room." Liara's voice was getting higher; her eyes were trickling steams of water onto her cheeks. "Goddess, I never meant to push you into the arms of someone else."

Shepard gently grabbed Liara's hand and looked straight into her teary eyes. "Meld with me."

"I do not want to see this. If you want me gone, just please tell me." Liara felt a pit in her stomach and dread in her heart.

"Trust me, please."

Liara gulped and entered Shepard's mind. 

_Traynor spilled something on her shirt, asked if there was something she could change into. Shepard gave her a shirt._

_'I know something has been weighing on your mind. I can relieve you of that headache.' Traynor's arms snaked around Shepard from behind._

_Shepard pulled Traynor's hands away and turned to face her. 'This isn't going to happen. I'm sorry.'_

_'Don't be afraid of how you feel.'_

_'I'm not. I have feelings for Liara. This isn't going to happen.'_

Shepard's face came back into focus, her blue eyes, her pale skin, her tiny chin scar, her lips slightly puckered. Liara's pulse was still racing, all was not lost. "I hope I can earn your trust again. Can we just start over?" Liara had felt the warmth in Shepard’s heart through the shallow meld.

"No, I don't want to."

The muscles around Liara's eyes began to twitch. She was not expecting the answer she received. _She cannot forgive me for what I have done._ "I enjoyed my time with you. I am sorry for hurting you."

"You don't understand. I don't want to start over because there's something that I need to do now." Shepard placed her hands on Liara’s cheeks and pulled her in for fierce and deep kiss.

There was no hesitation in Shepard as her tongue probed deeply into Liara's mouth. There was need and desire and an all-consuming passion she had not experienced from her lover before. Liara pulled back to catch her breath, still startled at the aggressive nature of Shepard.

The human curled her lip into a cocky sneer and began unfastening the clasps on Liara's shirt. "You really need to wear clothes that are easier to take off." 

Still stunned, Liara opened her mouth to speak, but was not sure quite what to say. "Are you sure about this?"

The sneer widened into a grin, still bursting with arrogance. "I've never been more sure of anything." She raised one hand to Liara's cheek, running her thumb delicately over her freckles. "Are you?"

"Shut up and kiss me, Jaye."

The couple each leaned in, lightly bumping their teeth, causing both to begin laughing at their clumsiness as they broke away. 

Shepard quickly finished working on the clasps on the front of Liara's shirt. The human's hands slid inside her lover's shirt, gliding the palms of her hands over the Asari's shoulders, allowing the shirt to drop to the ground with a quick flick and a smirk. "Let's try this again." 

Shepard leaned in once again joining their lips and tongues with just as much urgency as before. 

Liara felt the sudden rush of emotion from her love, a wave of feelings stronger than Shepard had ever let loose. There was trepidation and vulnerability scattered between the passion and desire. Most of all, there was a feeling of remorse fixed with determination and, dare she say once more, possibly love? The Asari grasped the bottom of Shepard’s shirt and began lifting up.

Their lips broke apart long enough to remove the rest of their clothing, tossing it wildly around the room and even knocking a few things over in the process. Shepard placed her finger on Liara’s shoulder and began lightly pushing her backwards until the doctor felt the bed against the back of her legs. Turning around, Liara crawled up and sprawled out, arms beckoning her lover to join.

Jaye eased beside her love and leaned on her elbow, looking into Liara’s eyes, tracing her finger across her jawline. She leaned down, nuzzling against the Asari’s neck, tracing circles with her tongue until she licked up to the point of Liara’s chin. “I’m going to need your help, beautiful.” 

Liara matched the smugness of her lover with her own. She glided her fingertips along Shepard's spine and up to the curls dangling on the back of her neck. Her other hand grabbed Shepard's, bringing the human's digits to her mouth, licking her index finger to the first knuckle, then placing it on her dark blue nipple.

Shepard's sneer turned into an all-out grin before she dipped her lips to Liara's breasts. Her free hand drew circles with the already-wet finger as her mouth hungrily engulfed her lover's other nipple. "Jesus, Liara. This is fucking heaven." The human was going on pure instinct, loudly suckling as she felt the blue bud harden between her lips. 

Liara pushed the back of Shepard's head down ever further, her back already arching into her warm mouth. "Goddess" was all she managed to mumble between the heavy pants. _This is fucking heaven._ She reached her free hand down to Shepard's, maneuvering her fingers in the rhythm Liara preferred, lingering only a short time before her lover learned. 

Feeling how enthusiastic Shepard was magnified Liara's pleasure. Knowing that another was so intent on making her happy, caring enough to be selfless, was the ultimate turn-on. Her eyes were closed but she could hear the human's moans as she pleased Liara with her mouth. The feeling was only intensified by Shepard's emotions overflowing into her own senses. "Goddess." It was all she could manage to say. 

Shepard's hand crept up to Liara's cobalt lips once more as she gently slid two fingers into the Asari's mouth. 

Liara's legs had already started to part, bending at the knees, and she pressed the heels of her feet into the soft mattress. She was trying to let Shepard discover her body and get lost in the moment but the build up was already erotically intense.

Shepard pulled her mouth away with a sucking tug on Liara's nipple. "I take it you are a little anxious?" She slid the heel of her hand down just below Liara's bellybutton. 

As the doctor opened her eyes, Liara saw that overconfident, crooked grin staring through her. "So are you -- I can feel it." She felt a sudden surge of excitement from Shepard as soon the words left her mouth. "Goddess," she moaned and closed her eyes again as she felt fingers slide between her folds. A wave of surprise radiated from Shepard as she continued to explore. 

"You're the same, but different. Jesus." Shepard stared at the reaction of her Asari lover, gaining more confidence with each moan that escaped her lips. Her fingers wandered to the familiar spot, hoping it had the same effect on Liara as it did on herself. Seeing her lover gasp at the initial touch, Shepard's lips returned to the Asari's breasts. 

Feeling Shepard touch her so intimately was mind blowing. She had thought about this time and again, but it was never this wonderful when she did it herself. She reached her hand down to Shepard, slowing her rhythm and adjusting her pressure; it was not going to take much at this point as she could already feel her muscles begin to tighten up. Instinctively, Liara leaned into Shepard's shoulder, grasping onto soft skin with her teeth, trying to anchor herself in the moment.

The wave came crashing, starting at the spot where Shepard's fingers were and radiating outward down her legs and causing Liara's toes to curl. She screamed into Shepard's shoulder as she bit down and her body twitched under her grasp. She took deep breaths in an effort to regain control only then realizing she broke skin in a few spots on her lover’s shoulder. "Goddess, Jaye, I am sorry if I hurt you. It was rather intense. I did not realize I was biting that hard."

"Intense, eh?" Shepard blushed slightly. "I liked being able to do that for you. You mean so much to me." The human slid up slightly and kissed Liara slowly and deeply before resting her head next to the Asari's on the pillow and interlocking their fingers. 

The couple laid in silence, enjoying the newfound closeness they discovered. It was a relief to be comfortable around each other once again, being able to temporarily forget the pain both had been feeling for the previous two days. 

Shepard was the first to break the silence. "I'm sorry I said you were like your mother. I should've never said that. It's not true."

Liara pulled Shepard's hand to her lips, kissing each fingertip one at a time. "I forgive you. I know sometimes I act like her. I will not lie, though. It did hurt." She squeezed the human's hand once more before laying it back down between them. 

"I need to explain something to you -- why I overreacted." Shepard summoned her courage and opened up to Liara about those missing two weeks of her life. About how Ashley found her so strung out, sitting in an alley with torn, dirty clothes, no idea of who she was let alone anything else. Knowing that somehow she managed to find something to keep her high, not knowing exactly how she managed to attain it. "This is why I need you to make me a promise. I need you to make sure I don't drink or take anything else like that. I don't want to lose any more time, not now since I found you especially." 

Liara rolled onto her side, lifting Shepard's arm under her neck allowing her head to rest on the human's shoulder and snuggling down. "I promise. I thank you for telling me and trusting me."

Shepard kissed the top of Liara's head. "I figure I need to trust you to make us work. I can't tell you I will be able to pour everything out at once, but if you give me time, I promise you I will try to open up more and talk to you about things."

"And I need you to promise me something too, Jaye. If I start acting like ... her ... you have to ground me and be my conscience. At least until I can break her bad habits. I should have never withheld anything from you. I am sorry."

"It's okay." Shepard squeezed Liara closer, nuzzling into the dip of her crest with her nose. 

"Mmmmmm. You are hitting a very sensitive spot." Liara slightly squirmed.

"I know." The brash and powerful husky voice had returned with a flourish. Shepard darted her tongue out, licking along the crease, causing Liara to sit up. _Shit, what did I do?_

The Asari turned around with a gleam of mischief in her eye. "It is your turn. You can finish that later." She straddled the human quickly before moving to the other side. "I am right-handed; this side is better for me." A slight blush overtook Liara's cheeks. "And you."

"You're so beautiful, Liara." Shepard looked up at the doctor, melting into her eyes. She felt so free now that she let her guard down. She was not going to wall up her emotions when the couple was alone any longer. 

Liara traced her fingertip down the middle of Shepard's chest, over her thigh to her knee and back up, repeating the path on the human's other leg.

"Please, don't tease me." The moment Liara had climbed over top of her, she instantly became aroused once again, still quite wound from being able to touch Liara so intimately.

Liara slid her hand between Shepard's thighs and then slowly probed with a single finger. "Goddess, you are right. You feel different, but similar."

Shepard started clenching her thighs to bring more pressure to Liara's touch. She felt Liara's mouth just above her nipple, creating another mark as she sucked on her skin. Shepard loved looking at the visible signs of Liara's passion on her body in the mirror. The fact that there would be more was even more of a turn-on. "A little higher. Yes, there. God." Shepard realized her hands were gripping the sheets with all of her strength.

Liara followed her instructions and felt Shepard approaching climax while she was finishing her second mark. As the throaty moans got louder, Liara looked up as her hand continued its ministrations. She watched her lover’s reaction intently as the electricity built up beneath her fingers. 

Shepard peeked beyond her clenched eyes, noticing Liara watching her with such awe and wonder. "I've thought about this a lot," she managed to say between deep breaths as the explosion approached. _Fucking fireworks, fuck._ Her leg muscles tensed up as she thrust her hips harder into the Asari's fingers, holding Liara’s hand in place with her thighs. 

Liara crawled back on top of Shepard as she was still twitching from her climax, staring down into her eyes. "And was it as pleasurable as you thought it would be?" The doctor looked smug as the words left her mouth.

"Way better. I'm glad it was you." Feeling Liara's breasts press against her own was euphoric. The texture of her skin felt so foreign yet natural as her hands ran along the Asari's backside. 

"I am glad it was you, too. We make a good team." Liara kissed Shepard's chin and rolled to her side, snuggling in the crook of her arm once again. 

"Yes, we do." And for the first time in her life, everything felt right in Shepard's life if only for a few stolen moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Behind every happy couple lies two people who have fought hard to overcome all obstacles and interference to be that way. Why? Because it’s what they wanted. ~~ Kim George


	23. Chapter 23

Title courtesy of Pat Benatar.

Chapter 23 – Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Fire Away

_"Fuck! Shepard, erase those files now!"_

_Shepard instinctively began typing away on her terminal before asking any questions. React first and then ask questions later. Of course she had all information encrypted, but the government’s resources may be able to purchase the appropriate cipher. "If this is another of your panic attacks, Tony, I'm not ..."_

_"Cops are outside. Get that shit erased now."_

_If the police were at their base, their entire cell would likely be rounded up at the same time. 'Ash'. Shepard clicked a few more buttons, authorizing a complete wipe to prevent recovery and tried to open a link with her friend. For the third time that day, it wasn't answered._

_"Is that completely clean? Shepard, get back here and finish. That data can ruin us all."_

_Shepard could do no more than she already had at the terminal. But she could try to warn Ashley, or at least make sure her sisters were all right before running._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A few days had passed since the setback in Shepard's room, yet nothing had changed. Both Liara and Shepard were still acting the same towards each other: professional and friendly, but certainly not intimate. Both had also continued to treat Samantha as if the denial had never happened. Shepard went on as usual and Liara most likely was not aware of the incident, as Samantha had reasoned it out. Of course Tali, and especially Ori, had kept telling her to give up on her crush, but she was not a quitter. _After all, Shepard said she had feelings for Liara, not that they were involved._

The couple was standing across the spacious room while Samantha stood partially concealed behind some boxes. She thought about pulling Shepard aside and talking to her after she had been rebuffed. _Perhaps I just pushed too hard. I just need to do some minor flirting to show her what she is missing._

"Whatever you are thinking, stop." 

Traynor turned around to see Oriana standing behind her. "What am I thinking exactly?"

"I don't know exactly but if it has something to do with your crush, it's time to let it go. She is not available."

Shepard waved as she looked up, noticing the two assistants on the other side of the cargo hold. Samantha followed Ori over where the group began their opening stretches. Traynor had opted for a tight tank top and clingy sweats with the waist band rolled down to ramp up her appearance. 

The few classes they had were informative and so far very basic escape maneuvers were covered. Sam was always partnered up with Liara while Shepard worked with Oriana which once again was a sign that they were not a couple, or else they would work together. 

Shepard took position behind Oriana and motioned for the others to follow suit. They always mimicked the moves with the biotics in the same positions as Traynor stood behind Liara. 

"More times than not, you will find that the attacker is bigger and stronger than you. Use that to your advantage." Shepard wrapped her arms around Oriana's waist and directed the movements to escape. "First thing you want to do is stomp on the attacker’s foot. The element of surprise is your friend." 

Traynor purposely gripped Liara incorrectly with loose, misplaced holds. 

“Don’t really stomp on my foot by the way, Ori.” Shepard glanced over at Samantha and began her approach to Oriana once again. “No Sam, you want to come at her like this.”

"Can you do that on me please, J -, Shepard?" 

The instructor flinched slightly when her first name was hinted at but took position behind Samantha as Liara turned to watch. “Pin her arms down at her sides when you grab her.”

Feeling their bodies close immediately excited Traynor who was happily caught in her private bliss. "Oh, I see how you did that." She wiggled her hips slightly and immediately felt Shepard release and step back. _Uh oh, too forward._

Crack. 

She barely saw it coming. A fist, Liara's to be precise, right to the nose. Traynor could taste the blood seeping into her mouth. She could see the scowl on Liara's face. She heard the venom in her voice.

"Do not make her uncomfortable like that again." 

"You broke my nose!" Traynor was staring at her boss with disbelief. She glanced at Shepard who was staring at Liara, smile plastered on her face. She then looked towards Oriana who had already rushed over with a towel in her hand. 

"Let's get you to sick bay." The doctor's voice was not sympathetic in the least.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I think they are sufficiently clean." Liara was grinning at her naked lover standing in their shower as the water beat on the human's back. The couple had used a full bottle of fruit scented liquid soap in the previous two days with all the long showers they had been taking together. Her protector's hands were gliding effortlessly over her breasts.

"I like how slippery you feel." She took both of Liara's nipples between her thumbs and index fingers, deftly arousing them to hardness. "You know, if I had known how fucking amazing this feels, I may have come around sooner."

Shepard's playful demeanor was coming out more and more. The couple had eased back into normalcy immediately and begun sharing parts of their lives a little at a time. 

Liara slipped her arms around her partner’s hips and pulling their bodies together tightly. “There, now you are slippery too.” She leaned in, kissing Shepard slowly. “Do you think our assistant finally learned that you are not interested?”

“I hope so." Shepard's hands glided across the doctor's hips and down her thighs.

"I would not have hit her but the mischief was erupting from her and you were instantly uncomfortable."

"I wish I had your ability. It would’ve been nice to know that she was plotting instead of genuinely confused.” Shepard walked the pair back into the spraying water, allowing the soap to wash away. “It would also be helpful to know what you are feeling sometimes. You have an advantage.”

"Yes, but I know you like to tease me with that too." Liara wiggled against Shepard and smiled coyly.

"Maybe ..." 

The lovers kissed one more time before hopping out of the shower and jumping into bed, still mostly damp after quickly toweling each other off. This had become their ritual each time they showered, sometimes cuddling and talking, other times they would further explore their intimacy. 

Shepard crawled in behind Liara, snaking her arm around the Asari’s ribs and nuzzling near her crests. “I always feel so relaxed when I am alone with you.” 

“There is something we have not talked about yet but I think we should.” Draping her arm over Shepard’s, Liara snuggled in tighter, thoroughly reveling in the skin on skin contact. “How much do you know about a true join?”

“Only what you told me and it’s pretty much a complete submersion into each other.”  
Shepard trailed feather kisses along the back of Liara's neck. "It kinda scares me to be honest."

"Me as well. But, how deep the meld goes can vary. Knowledge is the basic meld and as it becomes deeper, so does the sensory perception. First you see, then you can feel emotional responses, then you can speak to each other, and finally you, or precisely we, can feel what the other is feeling." 

"Feeling ... meaning ... ohhhh. I thought the chicks in Vaenia were just faking it when they came together."

Liara chuckled. "As I understand it, that happens more commonly than not." Liara turned over to face her love and rested in the crook of Shepard's arm. "Once we get to a point where we can communicate in our minds, the meld becomes two-way even though I maintain it. You gain access to me as well."

"Interesting, Aria never told me that." Shepard smiled and then kissed Liara's forehead. "I trust you. Let's just take it slow, okay? This opening up thing is new to me."

“Me too. I worry sometimes that you will see something and it will change your mind about me.” Liara's fingers found her way to Shepard's dark locks of hair, tossing them lightly.

“Same for me but, I want to know everything about you. I … care about you a lot.” Shepard kissed Liara on the nose. “Nothing will ever change that.” 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thankfully, Oriana was a top class doctor. She had set and treated Samantha's nose quickly, assuring her that there would be no change in appearance once healed. She had a decent amount of bruising that medi-gel could not treat but worse was how she felt inside. 

_"What were you thinking? Rubbing your ass against her like that?" Oriana waited until Traynor was in a position where she could not move to unleash her wrath._

_"She broke my nose." The laser treatment had already begun opening her nasal passage but her voice was still feeling the effects._

_"I would have done far worse." The doctor gave her an injection to combat the swelling._

_"How was I supposed to know they are together?"_

_"Shepard told you she had feelings for Liara. I told you she was not available. You just had to push it, didn't you?"_

Oriana was right, of course. Apparently Shepard told Liara what happened and the two doctors were closer than Samantha realized. But, Ori was right. Traynor knew how Shepard felt about Liara. She knew Liara had been eyeing up Shepard from the start. She knew it and did it anyway. That was why she made the decision to apologize and resign. 

Gripping a data pad in her hand, she nervously walked around in Liara's office, waiting for the couple to arrive. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara and Shepard entered the room not knowing what to expect. Their assistant was pacing and Liara felt the trepidation as the door swished open. She also felt the humility in the air. The doctor took a seat with her escort standing behind her. Neither spoke and instead allowed Samantha to control the meeting that she requested. Liara had half expected her to just pack and leave quietly but hoped for a better resolution. She could not doubt the asset Traynor was to her research. 

“I overstepped my bounds. I was disrespectful.” Traynor assumed her most professional posture, arms crossed behind her back, and addressed her employers with respect and remorse. “I hope some day you both can accept my apology.” She laid the data pad on the desk in front of Liara and turned to exit the room. 

“Wait.” Liara saw the shame in her eyes, felt it in her assistant’s heart. Picking up the data pad, the doctor quickly glanced it over. “Do you like working for me, at least before this morning?”

Traynor turned around with a perplexed look on her face. “I do.” Her words trailed off as her eyes scrunched together.

“Then unless you feel you can not move forward, I do not accept your resignation. I would like you to remain a part of the team.” Liara’s pleasant and polite demeanor caught Samantha further off guard. Liara also felt Shepard’s confusion yet the bodyguard strode forward and extended her hand.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Keiji and Kasumi had arrived just in time for lunch which Liara had served in the privacy of her office. One of the books as well as the chits were kept by the thieves as payment while the bracelet and other book had been tucked safely away in Liara’s quarters. 

“It’s nice to see you two finally together. See, Sheppy, I told you Liara felt the same way.” Kasumi was grinning as she leaned back into her chair.

Feeling the blush overtake her cheeks, Shepard reached over and placed her hand on top of Liara’s. "I know, I told her that you had to clue me in a little.”

“Yes. Thank you for that, Kasumi.” Liara pushed her empty plate away and eased back into her chair. “You mentioned that you were not able to empty the safe entirely. Can I ask what happened?”

Keiji recounted the night of the break-in with as much honesty as he could while keeping the exact details of the meeting with mysterious Asari vague. “There was someone patrolling the upstairs so we had to leave some data pads. I hope we brought you what you wanted.”

“You did. The bracelet is important to me. Did you get a look at who was patrolling the house?” Both Liara and Shepard noticed a quick glance by Kasumi, once again bowing to her love to reveal the details. 

“Just that she was Asari, markings around her eyes. I couldn’t give you an exact shade of skin tone with the lighting.” Keiji was revealing small amounts of information at a time hoping to gain insight from Liara on exactly who was controlling their fate.

An image appeared on Liara’s omni after she clicked away furiously. “Is this who you saw?” 

Keiji once again held back. “It might be but I can’t be sure. Who is she?”

“My mother’s most trusted and loyal follower.” The omni turned off and Liara quickly changed the subject, trying to mask the sour tone in her voice at the mention of the other Asari. “And if your schedule is free, I have another task for you, if you are up for the challenge.”

The master thieves were given the details of their latest task and as Liara hoped, they accepted. They would be paying a visit to the office of Councilor Tevos.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara and Shepard had raced to their quarters after the guests departed to further examine the bracelet. As the Asari held it up, she noticed a small engraving on a pendant that simply read, ‘Thy’. “Well Shepard, I think we know who to look for now. I have no idea who Thy’ is.”

“You don’t? It doesn’t even sound familiar?” Shepard sat down on the bed as Liara examined the bracelet under a bright light.

“No, I do not know. The scans show nothing out of the ordinary. It is a bond ceremony bracelet which is approximately 110 years old. Traditionally, each one wears a bracelet with their bondmate’s name on it.” Liara squinted her eyes looking for anything that the scans may have missed.

“Isn’t there some place you can check who your mother’s bondmate was?”

“It does not always work like that. Some never register and I already checked that long ago.” Liara sighed and walked over to her love after setting the bracelet down. “It is progress though. We finally have something solid to follow up on instead of just crossing theories off of an endless list.” She joined their hands and lay back, pulling Shepard down beside her. “I would like to show you something if that is alright with you.”

“I'd like that. I admit, the two times we melded, I liked how comforting you felt even if it was only a short time.”

Liara squeezed the human’s hand and entered Shepard’s consciousness. _‘Can you hear me?’_

“Whoa, how do I do that?”

 _‘Just think it.’_ Liara sent encouragement through their meld and most importantly reassurance.

_‘Can you hear me, Liara?’_

_‘You are so cute. Yes I can.'_ Liara squeezed Shepard's hand. _'Now let me show you something. This is Shiala, my private teacher and my mother’s right hand. I believe she is the one that was left to guard the house with mother away.’_

Shepard’s mind was overtaken by a memory from Liara’s childhood. Shiala was teaching Liara to protect her memories from an attack. Time and again, Liara's thoughts were exposed as she became completely vulnerable in the eyes of her teacher. All of her fears, regrets, anxieties, sadness, joy, and curiosities were no longer a secret to her instructor. 

_'She betrayed you, didn't she? I can feel your anger swelling as the memory was playing.'_

_'Yes. Up until that point, she had kept my thoughts private. A few days later, mother and I had a rather lengthy disagreement on my behavior and how pretending to be a leader was not an option. I had to think and act like one throughout. She also doubled the lessons on protecting my mind until I learned how.'_

_'You mean she had Shiala break into your mind over and over until you learned.'_ Shepard squeezed Liara's hand. _'Ummm I felt my left hand squeezing my right hand.' Shepard was perplexed._

 _'I am sorry - I did not realize I deepened the meld. I felt how protective you were feeling and I guess I wanted to feel more.'_ Liara started to pull her mind back slightly.

 _'No, I like it. Don't pull away.'_ Shepard pleaded with Liara through their bond until the previous connection was restored. _'Is this how your empathy works?'_

_'Not exactly. I just know what others are feeling but I do not experience it.'_

Shepard began squeezing Liara's hand again, one finger at time, and then in some rhythmic pattern. 'Wow, I can feel everything I did, on myself, but like at half strength.' Shepard was acting like a kid who just received a new toy. 'I just felt you ... laughing at me.'

 _'I told you, I think it is cute. I was like this too when I was first learning.'_ Liara only had melded a few times this deeply when learning but being joined with Shepard was glorious. She felt at peace. 

_'I'm sorry I was distracted by this. Let's go back to what we were talking about. I take it you and Shiala never were close after that.'_

_'No. She became cold and distant as she spent day after day bombarding my mind. I was broken and exposed while she was relentless and unfeeling. She can fuck off.'_

Shepard's protective nature was pouring into Liara, trying to shield the doctor from her own feelings of Shiala's betrayal. _'Okay, so we can't ask her about 'Thy'. Is there anyone we can ask?'_

 _'I am still thinking on that. Hopefully our friends will find information on Lidanya in Tevos's files.'_ Liara rolled over and kissed Shepard on the cheek. _'We should check on the progress of the installation. As much as I would like to lounge around with you all day every day, it is not fair to the crew.'_

_'Okay, beautiful.'_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard was in a great mood. Sneaking away from Liara was quite easy with how focused the scientist had a tendency to be and Shepard wanted to surprise her love with a present. She thought about flowers and candy but that would be redundant. As she checked the Citadel directory, she saw a listing for a jewelry shop and headed towards the older part of the ward. 

_A ring? No, that's too much. I don't want to freak her out. A bracelet? No to an Asari that's the same as a ring. A necklace? A pin? God, I hope there's an Asari working there to ask._

And then she got an old and familiar feeling that she was being followed but it was too late. She turned around and saw a familiar face that she hadn't seen in almost five years standing right in front of her. He was flanked by two others that she only vaguely remembered from the Reds, both wielding knives.

She was distracted and had let her guard down, noticing that she had taken a short cut between two buildings. Shepard quickly observed her surroundings. The air smelled of garbage and urine, the ground littered with trash and broken glass. The walkway was dark and deserted and the perfect place for an ambush. _Eh, only three and one is Saracino._

"Tony, long time no see. How was jail?" She was only a short run from the main walkway where she entered from. She was wondering when the Reds were coming after her and now she had her answer. "I bet you made a real pretty bitch for someone."

"Fuck you, Shepard. It's your fault I ended up in jail. You didn't protect our files and then you fucked some alien to get released. Sounds like you were the bitch."

"Well maybe jail taught you how to not be a pussy at least. I'm shocked you only brought two with you." Shepard started to slowly reach for her omni. _Time to try out this blade Kasumi gave me._

The guys began walking towards Shepard as her hand was inching closer to her omni. 

Then she heard a familiar sound, the sound of two others decloaking behind her. As each grabbed one of her arms, she laughed at her predicament. "Or not. Good to know some things never change, pussy."

"Easy boys, don't kill her. Just make sure she's severely maimed and disfigured. I want her to live the hell I've been living."

Shepard spit in his face and scoffed. "Pussy."

Tony Saracino backhanded Shepard and stared menacingly into her eyes. 

She spit at him again, this time blood was mixed in. "You still hit like a pussy too." _Wind them up, stop them from thinking, and then escape._ "Five men to beat up one girl. I sure as hell hope your mancards are revoked quick enough."

"Bitch" was all she heard in her left ear as she felt a blow in her kidneys. The punching began from both sides. Two holding her arms as she struggled, two others taking shots at her ribs, face, and back with Saracino encouraging them like a high school cheerleader. The first gut shot knocked the wind out of Shepard, she couldn't breathe. She had no armor on and the only weapons were trapped in her omni that she couldn't get to. A slap in the face, followed by a punch that she was sure would result in a black eye. _Think._

Two more punches to the stomach and she was down on her knees, pretending to grasp for breath. Then the kicks to the ribs started, she heard a few cracks and knew some were broken even if the adrenalin was masking the pain. Finally the two thugs holding her arms let go, thinking she was already in no condition to fight back. _Suckers._

She elbowed one in the groin with her omni hand as the other reached over to turn it on. A kick in the shoulder knocked her back before she could activate anything and the blood began to seep into her eyes. "Fucking pussies, all of you. Five on one." She laughed as she reached for her omni once again. The first and only thing Shepard managed to do was hit her alarm before she took a boot to the back of her head. 

The floor was cold on her bloody face. The kicks to the ribs were felt only due to her body moving in response to the force, she was numb from any of the pain they were inflicting. Summoning all her energy, she rolled over and hit the only button on her omni that could save her now, incinerate.

A blast of fire shot out honing in on the closest thing to her, Tony Saracino, who was only a few feet away. But she was too close, Shepard was caught in the radius of the flame burst and she felt the searing heat on her legs. It was the last thing she felt before passing out.


	24. Chapter 24

Title courtesy of Snow Patrol.

Chapter 24 – If I Just Lay Here

After a few discussions with some board members of Huerta Memorial and a sizeable donation from the T'Soni Foundation, Dr. Oriana Ryan was finally given control over Shepard's care. Help had already been called when Garrus and Kaidan arrived on the scene as hidden C-Sec cameras caught the entire incident on vid. The escort's body was bloodied and beaten and her pants had been scorched. When she arrived at the hospital, Liara was already waiting.

The only reason Liara had remained safely inside the ship when the alarm was sounded was due to the insistence of Tali and Ori. And now she sat vigil at Shepard's side, willing her to finally wake up.

Shepard was diagnosed with several broken ribs, a punctured lung, second degree burns on most of her lower legs, numerous cuts, and massive bruising. Only when Oriana took over Shepard's care was the human taken off the narcotics at Liara's directive. Now it was just a matter of time before the drugs wore off and she would open her eyes.

Liara hadn't left Shepard's side except to shower in the private hospital room that morning. After almost two days, most of her gashes were close to being healed but the bruising on Shepard's face and torso was especially dark and her eye was still swollen. At least her ribs and lungs had been treated, and the burns on her legs would not scar even though the skin was still quite red and tender.

"I brought you something to eat and some tea." Oriana had walked into the room without Liara even noticing. The C-Sec guards on the outside of the door were enough for Liara to let her guard down.

The asari was deep in thought, trying to keep her spirits up reminiscing about the couple's time together. "Thank you, I am not hungry though."

"You need to eat and especially drink. And I don't want to have you removed from this room for not listening to me." Oriana and Liara made a deal when Oriana agreed to change Shepard's medication and the archeologist agreed to yield to the medical doctor's judgment. "You'll want your strength when she wakes up I'm sure."

Smiling with sigh of surrender, Liara took the bag and cup from Ori. "Yes, doctor." She took a sip of the tea and felt the warmth of the liquid in her chest. "I know I keep asking but, is this normal? I will feel better when she wakes up."

"She was heavily sedated when they repaired her bones and lung and to help with the pain management. It will take time for it to wear off but she should be awake in the next few hours." Oriana began scanning Shepard, verifying that her readings were all as expected. "Her vitals are strong, Liara. She will be fine. And unless you eat, you won't be."

Liara shook her head and grinned at the sight of Oriana tapping her foot, arms crossed in front of her. It was reminiscent of Shiala's behavior when Liara lazed in her lessons. "Yes, doctor." 

Oriana pulled a chair over next to Liara and sat down. "How are you holding up through all this? You were badly shaken the other day."

Liara had mimicked Shepard's normal response in a time of crisis, and flipped an internal switch. She charged Garrus with handling C-Sec and setting up a security detail for Shepard's door. Tali was left in charge of overseeing the installation process though she had offered time off for any of the crew who wanted it. She began the process to get the former Huerta doctor clearance to treat Shepard on hospital grounds, and then sat and waited calmly in the waiting room while her love was being worked on. 

Only when Shepard had been brought to the room and they were alone did Liara allow the tears to fall. Of course when Oriana came in to check on things, she had known immediately. 

"I just want to tell her how much she means to me. It has been such a roller coaster as of late." Liara took a small bite, willing herself to chew, not even caring to notice what she was eating. 

"I hate to sound cliché, but waiting truly is the hardest part. I do understand but if it means anything, she knows how much you care about her. I can see it in how you look at her and she can too, I imagine."

Liara laughed at the thought of Kasumi having to "clue" Shepard in. Her love could be a bit oblivious as times. "I have not told her _exactly_ how I feel. Ori," Liara took a deep cleansing breath, ready to finally form the words to someone else. "I love her. I can not explain how empowered I feel with her in my life. We have only lightly melded a few times and it just feels so natural."

"Well, perhaps you should tell her that." The medical doctor glanced over at Shepard, nodding her head once and smiling as she spoke. 

Shaking her head back and forth rather quickly, Liara responded. "Not yet. I do not want to scare her away."

"I don't think you will. I would bet my last credit that she feels the same." Oriana pointed at the mostly uneaten sandwich resting on Liara's lap. "Eat."

"I hope Garrus is making progress with his connections in C-Sec. It would be nice to know they caught the rest." Liara glanced over at Shepard's chest rising and falling, looking as peaceful as someone could who was covered in bruises. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Everything about Chora's Den was seedy. It smelled like a strip club with a jumble of cheap cologne mixed with inexpensive liquor that various overindulging patrons had spilled on themselves and the seats. Leftover smoke hung in the air like a cloud while the dancers swiveled to the beat of the music as patrons gawked, often times leaning in for a closer look.

Garrus chuckled as Kaidan entered the door next to him, a mixture of shock and awe overtaking him. "Never been to this variety of a gentleman's club before?"

"Ori is not going to be happy with me when she finds out, Vakarian." Kaidan's eyes were practically bugged out of his head at the sight of the scantily clad entertainers scattered throughout the bar.

Garrus just shook his head as he headed to the table where Harkin was seated, leering at the bartender, and two empty bottles in front of him. "You are human and he's pissed that he's been demoted while a turian took his job. It can't hurt to see us together. Turn on that Alenko charm with him. We need this information and he's as corrupt as they come."

Kaidan just lowered his eyes and followed behind Garrus. Drinks were ordered after the introductions and minor chit-chat about mundane topics before Garrus eased into the plan. "So how has C-Sec been since I left? Is working for Pallin as painful as I thought it would be?"

"Ah I knew that was why you left, fucking lucky bastard. If the money wasn't so good, I would quit too." Harkin downed the two shots in front of him and began working on his next beer. 

“That attack yesterday, Pallin is giving us the runaround. He won’t release any info on an ‘ongoing investigation’.” Garrus paused and right on cue, Kaidan chimed in.

“She’s a good friend of ours, and we want to make sure we know what we’re up against. The idiot seems to be stalling because she’s human.” Kaidan ordered another round for the table, including two more shots for Harkin. 

"Turian bastard." Harkin burped and then looked over to Garrus, "No offense." His glance wandered over to the bartender again while his tongue lopped over his lips. 

The drinks kept coming in for Harkin as the other two paced themselves in order to keep their wits about them. They humored him by laughing at his bad jokes as Garrus kept giving Harkin proof that he was among like minded rule benders. 

"And that's when I knew it was time to resign. He wouldn't let me follow a lead because it dealt with a damn Spectre. It didn't matter that the evidence pointed to Vasir being an agent and assassin of The Shadow Broker. He said it was all circumstantial and to give it up." Garrus continued to work the drunken agent, determined to get the inside information Liara wanted.

Harkin was good and ripped by now, slurring his words and spitting as he tried to force them out of his mouth. Kaidan had stopped eating the salty snacks rather quickly after the other human began spraying it with saliva. "Fuck him I say." Tossing a handful of slobber covered pretzels into his mouth, he followed it with a swig of his beer. "I like you boys, even you Vakarian. I'll tell you what. I may be convinced to transfer some info to one of your omni's for a few credits."

"Any chance on setting us up with access for constant updates?" Kaidan flagged down the waitress for another round. "We need to make sure our friend is safe."

Harkin began hiccupping and thought that chugging the rest of his beer would somehow cure it. "Can't do that, guys." Spittle shot out of his mouth once again. "Had a breach a few months ago. Records got wiped. Security was upped since then." Harkin wasn't so drunk that he couldn't reach out in an attempt to grab a server passing by. Luckily for the waitress, he was also too slow.

"Breach you say? Anyone know what records were wiped?" Garrus was hoping this was going to be even more fruitful than he could have ever expected.

"Naw, no idea. That's the problem. All we know is someone broke in and erased identities. Everything is tracked and monitored now. Fucking Pallin made it harder to feed my family, you know?"

"Interesting." Garrus clicked his mandibles as he activated his omni. "Credits have been transferred. Now the file if you will."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Saracino’s brother deserves to be dead. Five on one and they lose? This is what happens when you send a couple of gang rejects to do the job of a trained professional." Tim Sheen took a long drag on his cigarette, enjoying it as he always did, staring into the vid screen. 

“We got what we wanted from him, some valuable manpower, funding, and fodder if we need it. Tell him we will take care of Shepard for him and test out some of his recruits while we are at it.” 

“And T’Soni? Why are we making nice with her mother if we are going back to the kidnapping route?” Sheen didn’t mind appearing as the leader of Cerberus to the operatives, after all it fed his tremendous ego, but he took orders from someone else. The pure existence of the real mastermind behind the entire operation was only known to him and one other. 

“Because, we are going to pull the ultimate scam. We are going to set up their capture and then rescue her of course.”

“So she will want to trust and work for us.” Tim took a long drag on his cigarette and smiled. “Send me details of the plan and I will get to work on Saracino.”

“Make sure the two that escaped the debacle are dealt with. The C-Sec systems are on lockdown so their identities aren’t secret. We can’t afford any loose ends.”

Sheen nodded his head as he took another drag. “They are already dead.”

“And make damn sure Saracino stays in line. Give him his revenge and he should be ours to command. If you get a hint of him wavering, kill him too.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Her onyx hair was frizzing out from the humidity blanketing the planet where her new assignment had taken her. It was annoying to say the least. Miranda Lawson was the head of the new cybernetics facility on Virmire. She was given enormous funding with one goal in mind, to develop implants that will improve the human race. Cord-Hislop was a powerful business but also the front for Cerberus, a pro-human military group seeking to protect humans from being oppressed by the other races. 

When Miranda joined up with them, she had made a deal with the devil and she knew it. But it was the only way to protect her, as well as her secret from a greater evil, her 'father'. In exchange she developed some hacking algorithms (but never quite as effective as the ones she regularly used) and agreed to help with scientific development. 

This entire facility was hers to command as Miranda saw fit. It seemed to amuse her contact in Cerberus that they hired aliens to further their goals. It was purely to preserve the cover for the business and keep up appearances. If only the salarians and asari that worked directly with her knew the truth of the irony.

Sheen had also given her another side project that he insisted was related. But Miranda's expertise was not in ancient alien races. She had no idea what the protheans could offer to her project but humored him anyway. He was the boss, afterall. He also promised to produce an expert in the field as soon as he could acquire her services. Miranda was anxious to dump this part of her assignment as soon as she could. It was a waste of her talents.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Keiji was downloading the files on all high ranking officers aboard asari ships in the council fleet while Kasumi made sure the security feed maintained its loop to hide their presence in Councilor Tevos’ office. The art of thievery involved a lot of deception and misleading clues. Liara wanted only one file but if that single hack was detected, it provided too many clues. By stealing a vast number of extraneous files, it created a smoke screen as to the real target. 

“And while we are here, some information from Tevos’ private files couldn’t hurt.” Keiji was always thinking ahead but that was one of the reasons he was considered the best. Any information he found could be used to trade for a tip or even a straight out sale to an interested party. "Well this is a coincidence. It seems that the main voice behind Tevos' appointment to the council was Matriarch Benezia."

Kasumi looked over at her love quickly before drawing her eyes back to the screen. "Liara knows you were holding back something the other day but didn't say anything. I would bet anything on it."

"If you say it, I believe it. I know better than to doubt your insight. But we have to take care of ourselves first." Keiji clicked a few more buttons on his omni and walked over to his love. "We can't afford to get caught and if Benezia has the councilor in her pocket, then we especially don't want her as an enemy. We'll give this to Liara though, and maybe learn a little more about what her grand plan is."

"Feed is set to loop for five more minutes and the program will erase itself. Let's get out of here." Kasumi jumped up to the vent and pulled herself inside, ready to begin their escape. As usual they would spend at least a day in the safe house to make sure they were not compromised before making the transfer to Liara. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Garrus had just left after briefing Liara on his findings and Oriana was still out with Kaidan for a late snack. An encoded message had arrived signaling a successful heist. Now Liara was back to just waiting.

This time of the night, the hospital took on a new silence. Long gone were the constant voices and noises from the hallway of passing gurneys and carts. The only sounds belonged to the machines monitoring her love's vital signs.

Liara looked down at the human's legs wrapped loosely in gauze. Before she left with Kaidan, Oriana had treated Shepard's burns and said they were healing nicely with no sign of infection. The laser therapy had reduced the swelling and redness but she would still be sore when she woke up.

Her eyes trailed up over the hospital gown that she knew Shepard would gripe about being too much like a dress for her liking. She had Oriana bring Shepard a loose pair of sweats when she had retrieved Liara's change of clothes. 

It was too quiet for Liara's taste. She grabbed Shepard's hand and held it as she leaned over the bed, eyes noticing the gouge on her forehead. "You are going to have a new scar." With her other hand, she reached up and pushed Shepard's hair behind her ear. "And I am sure you will be anxious to wash your hair too. I know how you despise feeling dirty."

Liara felt helpless just sitting there. "I wish there was something else I could do for you. Garrus and Kaidan are tracking down the rest of your attackers. You got three of them though, love. It is just a matter of time before we get the other two." The doctor leaned over and kissed the back of Shepard's hand lightly. "Kasumi and Keiji were successful and promise to visit when you are up and about. Everyone wants to see you but Oriana has kept your visitor list small. I know you do not want others to see you like this."

The tears started to fall on her cheeks. "I wish you would wake up. Not only because I want you to get better, but because I am selfish. I miss talking to you. I miss being with you." Liara wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "You make me so happy." 

There was a knock on the door as the attending nurse stuck her head in. "Has our patient woken up yet? I heard voices. Dr. Ryan wants to be notified as soon as she does." 

Liara shook her head, hiding her tears and was thankful when she heard the door close behind her. Determined to continue her conversation, her eyes turned black. 

There was a light, Shepard's presence was as strong as ever just sleeping. She saw her memories in the distance, some open and others lightly camouflaged. She left them alone for the time when Shepard was ready to share. 

Instead Liara opened herself up. _'This is the park I used to play in as a child. One day I want to take you there and have a picnic, right in this spot.'_ There was a pond close by with some type of native bird bobbing its head beneath the surface.

 _'When I was older, this is where I used to escape from Benezia.'_ The setting changed to a sandy deserted beach with large jagged rocks scattered across the landscape. _'I would just close my eyes and let the waves wash away my anger and pain. This was my place. '_ The time of day in the vision changed from mid-day to sunset. _'The colors these sunsets produce are majestic. One day I wish to share this with you.'_ Liara held the recollection, enjoying the view. She was thinking ahead and making plans, allowing a few minutes to just sit and absorb the moment.

 _'Do you remember this?'_ The memory flashed to the first time Liara allowed herself to cry in front of anyone, the day on Therum where her mother once again made her feel worthless. _'You called me beautiful for the first time that day. You held me tightly, I felt so safe in your arms.'_

The image shifted to their first kiss as Liara blushed at the vision. _'I have a confession. I relive this memory a lot. It was when you finally let yourself go. You were so sensual and romantic. I sometimes have to remind myself you are real.'_ The tears were flowing once again. _'It is difficult to believe that you care for me.'_

Then, they were lying in bed, a memory from just the other day. _'If my mother and father do not find me worthy of their love, how could anyone else? And yet, you are here in my life.'_

Shepard was speaking in the memory. _'I … care about you a lot.'_ Shepard had kissed Liara on the nose at that point. _'Nothing will ever change that.'_

Liara wanted to speak the words, think the words, but she couldn't. Instead she just let the happiness of the memory overwhelm her and hopefully Shepard. The tears had a cathartic effect on Liara, washing away the emptiness she often felt when thinking about her mother and allowing the love she felt from Shepard to fill her up. 

She broke the meld, realizing that perhaps Ori was right about keeping her strength up as she was almost fully exhausted. Liara reclined the lounger provided to overnight guests and closed her eyes, fingers still laced with Shepard’s. 

She was not sure how much time had passed as sleep had claimed her but something stirred her slumber.

"Liara ..." The voice was dry and scratchy.

She felt a gentle squeeze on her hand and quickly turned her head while opening her eyes. The tears began to fall again as she sat up. "I am right here."

"I know." Shepard held onto Liara's hand with what little strength she had.


	25. Chapter 25

Title courtesy of Marie Digby.

Chapter 25 - Say It Again

Thessia

Having just departed the Armali spaceport into the mid-morning sun, Shepard reveled in her first deep breath of fresh air since Horizon. With over two weeks spent cooped up in a hospital or a ship, she was more than just excited to make the trip to Thessia even if Liara was less than thrilled. 

The rest of the crew remained aboard the ship still docked at the Citadel while the couple was transported to Thessia aboard the Cruiser Cybaen which was graciously provided by the asari councilor as a favor to Matriarch Benezia. 

_"Liara, I know where you are and have been for the past two weeks. Since you have so much time on your hands that you can tour various dreadnoughts, you can do this for me."_

_Liara sighed at the screen, refusing to speak a word._

_"And then you need to visit Kopis as there is an artifact for your little collection. You just have to provide me with a copy of your findings.”_

_"Now you are brokering deals for my research? You are not my agent."_

_"Not everything can be purchased with my credits, Liara, no matter what you believe. If you want me to continue acquiring these items for you, then you must change your attitude."_

The spaceport was immense. The buildings were vast and covered miles of ground. The couple had arrived at the special VIP terminal where all Citadel ships were docked, plentiful amenities available to all dignitaries who arrived. As Liara was about to summon a taxi, a private car pulled in front with an eager driver hopping out to anxiously open the back door.

"Dr. T'Soni, so good to see you again. It has been quite some time." 

Liara greeted the driver and allowed her to handle their baggage while the couple entered the back seat. As Shepard looked around, the resemblance to Illium was undeniable yet there was more of a classic yet relaxed atmosphere within Armali. The residents and tourists alike lacked the urgency and tunnel vision that was present on the faces of those in Nos Astra. Instead, they smiled or nodded as others passed by while utilizing every sense to take in the beauty of the surroundings. 

The landscape was covered with lush green plants and trees while blooming wild flowers added spatters of coloring. The purple sun was like nothing Shepard had seen before with puffy white clouds similar to those seen on Earth. 

"I love watching you when we arrive in a new place. Your face lights up,” Liara squeezed her love's hand, flashing a tightlipped grin, “well more than usual.".

"Transports and warehouses were pretty much all I saw besides Earth and Omega but this is so beautiful. I love it here." Shepard's eyes darted to something over Liara's shoulder and followed it as they sped past. "What was that tree? I have never seen anything like it."

"It is a cerise tree, for your favorite drink. We have a few growing in the garden and they are in season." 

Shepard looked back at Liara and slid next to the asari while pulling her into an embrace. "The bartender who told me about that drink said it was the sweetest thing next to an asari." Her tongue darted out, flicking quickly over Liara's lips. "I say it doesn't even come close to how sweet you are."

Liara began to wrap her arms around the human and suddenly stopped. "Are your ribs still tender?" The bruising had been extensive and required Shepard to avoid certain positions in order to remain comfortable. "I do not want to hurt you."

"I'm not made of glass, you know." Shepard leaned back up, grabbing onto Liara's hands with her own. "I think as long as you don't take a bat to me, it won't hurt."

"Well, I guess you can handle when I lay next to you but you still squealed the other day when I crawled on top of you." Liara still saw a slight yellowish tint near her lover’s eye where the bruising was especially dark. The doctor then trailed her eyes to the new pink scar above the human’s left eyebrow. 

"Maybe it just tickled." A smirk spread across her lips and that single eyebrow, the one with the scar, raised as Shepard leaned back into the comfort of the car. 

"I guess it is a good thing my kisses were enough to satisfy your urges, for a short time at least." Liara's tongue peeked out slightly, running along the contour of her top lip.

"I could kiss you for hours and it would satisfy me and at the same time I'd be begging for more.” Her sass faded and all that shone through both in expression and emotion was sincerity. “As long as I have you by my side, it's all I need."

"Jaye, I ... feel the same way." Liara could feel the love pouring into her and she gathered strength from the warmth. She was going to need it in order to face someone she did not wish to see. "At least we will have ample time for things other than Benezia's errand." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The T’Soni Estate was magnificent. The chirping of a single bird echoed throughout the lavish garden which overlooked the private lake in the distance. Shepard was lounging in the shade of the covered and secluded veranda as she enjoyed the serenity provided by the view. Liara had their belongings moved into the guest house in order to maintain as much privacy and distance as possible from her former teacher who was anxious to greet the pair as they arrived. Shiala was pleasant but appeared hurt at Liara's dismissal of her attempt at conversation. However, she had betrayed Liara's trust and there was no forgiving that as far as either was concerned.

Growing up on the streets was a dramatic contrast to the surroundings Liara spent her youth in. Even when Shepard was able to acquire more than sufficient credits to support herself, she never bought more than she needed out of fear of bringing attention to her success as a hacker. Instead Shepard put good use to some of her shady skills, slipping chits into the mail slots of various shelters and orphanages around the city in order to provide other kids with the necessities many took for granted.

And yet despite all of their differences, Shepard and Liara both knew the loneliness of the solitude each of their parents had painfully bestowed upon them. Two souls, hurt almost beyond repair by the ones who should love them the most, drawn to each other as if they were two halves yearning to make each other whole.

While Shepard was recovering, Liara’s nurturing side was in full bloom. The first thing she did was help Shepard take a shower as soon as she reached the comfort of their quarters. The grease and grime buildup had been driving the former street rat insane and Liara had gingerly sponged her body and then washed her hair. 

_“I was always too focused on the rest of your body that it never dawned on me how much I would enjoy washing your hair.” Liara had used her nails to scrub Shepard’s scalp, threading the sudsy strands though her fingers._

It became something the asari insisted on doing each day from that point on. The guest quarters luckily had an oversized tub that both were anxious to utilize to its full potential. _Perhaps a little indulgence isn’t such a bad thing._ Shepard interlocked her fingers behind her head and closed her eyes.

“Are you enjoying yourself thus far?”

The escort turned her head to see Liara’s former instructor approaching from the main house. “The estate is beautiful, thanks for asking.” She was polite but curt, following the approach Liara had taken earlier.

“I understand you are Liara’s personal bodyguard.” Shiala took a seat adjacent to Shepard. “You also worked for Aria T’Loak for quite some time. Did you and Aria enjoy the same relationship as you do with Liara?”

“I don’t speak about work matters.” As casual as Shiala was trying to sound, Shepard couldn’t shake the feeling that this was more of an interrogation than anything.

“Being around mostly asari for years, especially all of those dancers in Afterlife, you must feel comfortable in Armali.” The purple asari slid a chair close to Shepard and gracefully sat down, eyes remaining focused on the human. “Did your travels ever bring you to Thessia before?” 

“No, this is my first visit.” Shepard did not appreciate the invasion of personal space but held her ground, refusing to show her discomfort.

“The temple’s inner sanctum is not a place many asari get to see, let alone an alien.” Shiala’s fingertips ran along Shepard’s forearm. “You should consider yourself fortunate.”

This action prompted a darting of Shepard’s eyes to the asari’s hand and back to Shiala who casually removed it but held Shepard’s gaze. 

“There are many wonders in that temple and a place many have searched for answers. However, Shepard,” the matriarch’s follower paused before continuing, “those who search for knowledge often dismiss the krogan home world when it may prove to be a valuable source.”

Shepard crinkled her nose and shook her head. “Liara makes those decisions - I just make sure no one hurts her is all.” The statement was certainly perplexing, seemingly out of no where. 

“I heard you were the best. The matriarch speaks highly of your capabilities.” Shiala reached out, placing her hand on top of the escorts. “I can see why Liara is taken with you. But if you ever find yourself in need of someone a little more … skilled, I would welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.”

Shepard pulled her hand away instantly. “No thanks, not interested.”

“I see some things never change, Shiala.” 

Shepard felt instant relief at the sound of Liara’s voice approaching from over her shoulder. Her tone was not angry or jealous. It was as if she was annoyed with an insect buzzing around her face. 

“Are you doing mother’s bidding or was this loathsome attempt all your idea?” 

Again, Shepard detected irritation but not a hint of worry in her love. 

Shiala rose from her chair, calm as if nothing had happened and began sauntering towards the house. “Liara, one day you will realize that everything I do is because I have your best interest at heart.”

Liara sat down in the chair previously occupied by her former teacher and rolled her crystal blue eyes, waiting until the couple were alone to speak. “This is her idea of making sure my suitor is loyal to me. Mother tried to arrange a marriage once for me to a turian and Shiala propositioned him before our first date. Of course at the time I did not realize the details and I was told to just entertain him.” 

“Well shit, Liara, those two really need a slap.” Shepard reached over and lovingly caressed the asari’s cheek. “So what’s for lunch?” 

Servants were approaching with various platters in hand. Liara explained the light menu she had prepared, a collection of small plates featuring fresh ingredients native to the area and some even grown on T’Soni grounds. When the staff finished serving the mini-feast, Liara quickly picked up a round purple item and held it up to Shepard’s lips. “Try this, love.”

The human grinned and then took a slow bite, locking eyes with Liara the entire time. There was something about being in the safety net of armed commandos that allowed Shepard to fully relax without being in protector mode. As she wrapped her lips softly around the purple fruit, her teeth punctured the flesh allowing the juice to leak out the side of her lips and down her chin. 

Liara immediately moved closer to Shepard, straddling her thighs, carefully avoiding where her legs had been tender from the burns. Her tongue traced the path the liquid was streaming, ending the act with a deep kiss. Her hands found their way to the back of Shepard's neck to the familiar area where she could play with her curls. "And now that you have had a fresh taste, am I still sweeter?" 

"Definitely." Shepard smiled at Liara, overwhelmed with emotion. I so love her. 

"Correct answer, my love." The asari kissed Shepard's nose and carefully climbed out of her lap and began preparing a plate with a bite of everything. 

_She called me 'love'._ The escort shook her head. No, she just says that. Shepard observed the doctor and then graciously accepted the plate before lounging back into the comfort of her lounger. 

"That is an asari bread with fresh herbs and cheese melted on top." 

Shepard took a small bite of the familiar looking yet distinctly different tasting bread. "It's amazing." She began sampling each item on her plate, taking careful time to enjoy each mouthful. "With everything that's been going on, we haven't talked much about your quest progress. Did you have any new ideas?"

"I can not ask anyone about that name as it would give away who is actually in possession of the mysterious bracelet. Obviously the manifest does not have a match." Liara settled back in her chair, starting with a piece of smoked fish, freshly caught in the nearby lake. "Tevos and Lidanya are definitely in debt to my mother for streamlining their careers about that time." The asari took a small bite. "Try this next, Jaye. I think you will like it"

Shepard did as was recommended and let Liara continue.

"I would not put it past Benezia to have 'sampled' a prospective pool. She always says to research your options before making a decision." Condensation began to form on the chilled glass of tea Liara sipped from. 

"Liara, you seem to be only concentrating on asari. Is there a reason?" Shepard tried to apply her problem solving technique she used when trying to break into firewalls. Never concentrate in one area causing you to ignore others.

"Benezia was adamant once to defend the idea of asari couples. It is just a feeling I have."

Shepard knew how important this was to Liara. She was a scholar and searching for answers was her passion in life. It only made sense that she would want this answer as well. Shepard occasionally thought about who her own father might be. When she was a child, she would daydream that he was some successful and rich man who didn't know about her and one day come to rescue her. Crying herself to sleep one too many times killed that dream in her mind. 

As she got older, she realized her mother would've never attracted anyone worthy of daydreams. But even she still wondered occasionally. "Okay, so we have Thy, we have some weird activity with some powerful asari, we have Shiala, we ..."

Liara uncharacteristically interrupted Shepard without delay. "Shiala? Why did you mention _her_?" The distaste in Liara's tone accented the final word. 

"I'm naming people we know were closely involved with Benezia at that time. Just trying to cover all bases." Shepard looked at Liara, trying to bring herself back into the mindset of Liara instead of her methodical problem solving mode.

"Yes, you are correct.” Liara smiled gingerly but Shepard knew she was still feeling the sting of mentioning Shiala in that manner. “I suppose it is your turn to be the logical one."

"How about the rest of the stops? You’re sure that you were conceived during this trip?"

"Yes, I had three doctors verify it to a 99.7% likelihood based on my due date, the actual date I was born, and the asari gestation period." Liara wiped her mouth with the napkin and took the empty plate from Shepard before sitting on her lap once again.

"She left Thessia and stopped on Palaven, the Citadel, Tuchanka, Sur'Kesh, Rakhana, Illium, and back here. Did I miss anything?" Shepard ran her fingertips across Liara’s legs.

"There was also a meeting with the quarians in there. I believe we can cross Tuchanka off the list. I do not think we will find any answers there. I clearly do not display any traits of a krogan."

Shepard thought about teasing Liara with a gentle head butt then quickly changed her mind. "I think we should find out who was in power on those planets at the time you were conceived and perhaps figure out who your mother met with."

"With the exception of krogan and asari, those who were present 109 years ago are no longer around to question. But I think a change in approach is a smart idea. Yet another reason we make a good team." Liara ran her fingers down Shepard's arms.

“Yes we do.” Shepard pulled Liara in tightly, encircling her ribs and feeling the closeness. _I love her, I really really love her._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Temple of Athame was revered as one of the great historical buildings in the galaxy even if most asari no longer followed the religion. Liara's role was simple in this gathering. She sat in place of her mother as one of the proud and most staunch supporters of a Siari ceremony honoring donations from various wealthy benefactors. It was only on the voyage to Thessia when Liara finally admitted that Benezia may have done her a favor by giving her the opportunity to tour the inner sanctum normally closed to the public. 

Armed with the newly upgraded hand scanner, Liara's eyes lit up as she entered the main chamber. With Shepard in the role of student, the archeologist began by explaining the history of Athame's sword and shield as her concealed scanner nonchalantly gathered readings for later analysis. 

Their tour continued by examining the busts of Athame's trusted servants as well as the codex of her teachings. Shepard played along with Liara's diversion tactics as she knew that all scientific projects must gain multiple levels of approval. Of course that was almost never given. 

Finally, the centerpiece of the hall was a giant statue of Athame herself. It was an imposing sculpture with her eyes closed, gazing towards the skies, the couple barely taller than the base itself. When Liara started to explain more about the history of the goddess, she added her own flair to the history lesson when she mentioned how Athame is most often mentioned in current times as a string of asari profanity. 

Liara's eyes had lit up more and more as the tour went on but a glow overtook her entire face as the scanner ran over the base of the grand statue. Shepard had designed the tool to be silent but a small vibration could still be felt as data was being transferred. Only when they were safely in private, did Liara reveal how the statue made her scanner "sing." She couldn't wait to get it back to her ship for analysis. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara was spreading the blanket out at the base of a large rock overlooking the ocean. It was the pair’s last night on Thessia as they would be boarding the cruiser back to the Citadel first thing in the morning. Liara had packed a cooler with water that Shepard carried from the parking area. There was a light breeze and the temperature was mild but comfortable for the light clothing both were sporting.

The purple sun would be setting shortly beyond the distant skyline which provided the background for the waves rolling onto the wet sand of the low tide. Liara noticed Shepard looking around curiously, a perplexed look covering her face. “What is it, love?”

Shepard quickly shook her head side to side, as if dismissing her thoughts. "I have the weirdest feeling of déjà vu and I've no idea how. I've never even been on this _planet_ before." The human placed the cooler on the edge of the blanket and took a deep breath as she turned to face the water. 

Liara walked behind her love, wrapping her arms around Shepard's waist, resting her chin on the human's shoulder. "Remember I told you that while you were unconscious I melded with you to talk to you?" 

Shepard placed her hands on top of Liara's and snuggled into the asari's embrace. "Was this something you showed me?"

"Yes and it is why we are here. I want to show you the most glorious sunset I have ever seen. Come." Liara held onto one of Shepard's hand and led her to the blanket. "I would lean against this rock and think when I had to get away from my life." 

Shepard placed her pistol on the ground before removing her boots and socks. She leaned against the flat surface of a large boulder, beckoning Liara to sit between her legs, once again entwining their arms. "Everyone needs a place to call their own." 

"Now this can be _our_ place, Jaye. Did you have one?" The doctor turned her head and puckered her lips. 

Shepard kissed her lover and leaned the sides of their heads together. "Sorta. I would run along the lake to clear my head. In the cold winters, the air would almost burn my lungs. Otherwise I would just run until I physically hurt so I would forget everything else."

 _We are so alike, yet so different._ "Despite being forced to do Benezia's bidding, this trip has been wonderful. I hope you enjoyed all the sight seeing we did." A flutter of excitement overcame the human.

Shepard spouted out all of the highlights of trip one at a time but she seemed most excited about the moonlit boat ride they took on the lake the prior evening. "Your place is just gorgeous, Liara."

Liara chuckled and then sighed. "It is always better when she is not around. Benezia was always the dark cloud in my life since I first started asking the wrong question." She felt a kiss on her cheek.

"What plans have you made for your future?" 

The question startled Liara - they had never discussed the future before. _Spending as much time with you as I can._ Liara felt a twinge of anguish. As an asari, the philosophical teachings always covered the common occurrence of outliving a bondmate. Liara had seen the wisdom in words once upon a time, but at this exact moment she decided it was utter bullshit. "What do you mean?"

"Do you see yourself taking over as a spiritual leader in place of your mother?"

Liara felt relief at Shepard's reply. She pushed the sad thoughts from her mind and instead concentrated on the question at hand. "No, I do not wish that. I want to be a scientist. I want to do research and write journals. Maybe one day I would like to teach."

"You can do whatever you put your mind to. If you really want to break away from Benezia, you need to take away the leverage she has over you." Shepard paused and Liara felt a slight hesitation from the human. "You need to become self sufficient and stop accepting things from her because she always attaches a string to it."

Liara felt Shepard tighten her embrace and begin swaying her ever so gently as Liara pondered the wisdom of Jaye's words. Being in this place, with the one she loved, gave the asari a sense of clarity she had not experienced previously. "It is all I have left of her to hold onto. It is the only thing. Without that, I have nothing."

The response was instant, without any hesitation and overflowing with emotion. "You have me."

Liara brought one of the human's hands to her quivering lips and kissed Shepard’s wrist before gently setting it back down on her thigh. The silence was anything but uncomfortable. The couple stared out into the horizon enjoying the moments spent in each others company. 

_I am no longer alone._ The sun was just beginning to disappear below the skyline as the colors of the sky began to take on the view Liara was so familiar with. "The molecules and various particles in the air cause the phenomenon known as scattering to create the array of shades you see."

Shepard grinned. "That's one thing I love about you, Liara. I was just sitting here thinking how wild it looked with the purple sun, and you view things so different than me even though we are seeing the same exact thing." 

Liara focused on only one part of what Shepard said, barely hearing anything else after the human spoke her name. "You love me?" She felt the human panic slightly but then the emotion was immediately replaced with determination.

"Yes, I love you. I've loved you for a long time." 

Liara rolled over to her knees so they were facing each other. A smile formed on her cobalt lips as she gazed into Shepard's blue eyes. "Say it again please, now that I am looking at you."

"I love you, Liara." Shepard cupped Liara's cheek in her hand. "I love you like I can't even begin to explain."

The asari kissed the side of Shepard's thumb. "I love you too, Jaye." Their lips met with such tenderness mimicking the moment. Liara maneuvered to sit next to the human as Shepard wrapped Liara protectively in her arm. 

"Meld with me, please. I want to watch and feel this sunset with you."

Liara joined her mind with Shepard's and both were basking in the merge of their emotions. There was love mixed with relief that the each felt the same as the other. Above all there was a feeling of unity between their souls. They were not alone in life any longer.

_'Say it again.'_

_'I love you. I love you. I love you.'_

_'I love you too.'_


	26. Chapter 26

Title courtesy of The New Pornographers.

Chapter 26 – The New Face of Zero and One

_"Abby went to see her and she was told not to bring us anywhere near lockup."_

_As soon as Shepard was safely in her new apartment on Omega, she made a vid call to her old classmate, Lynn Williams. There was one responsibility she had remaining on Earth and she was going to keep her word. "Lynn, listen to me. We've known each other a long time. I am trying to get her out but I don't think it's going to happen. I tried hiring her a lawyer but she refused."_

_"Jaye, I don't get it. Why is she isolating herself?"_

_Shepard put the memory of her and Ash's final conversation out of her mind, instead concentrating on her promise. "It's a scary place, it does strange things." She tried to see Ashley before leaving Earth, but her friend wanted nothing to do with her. "But I made her a promise years ago. If anything ever happened to her, I would make sure you were taken care of."_

_"Abby is going to quit college and get another job. I told her I would quit too and help but she told me no, instead to concentrate on my degree." Lynn was almost in tears once more. She had spent the previous hour talking to Shepard, asking all the questions her oldest sister refused to answer. She had nothing concrete to go on but news reports and a public defender who gave little information. "Maybe at least Sarah will have a good life. All mom said was that they could send less money home now with only three of us."_

_Shepard steadied her emotions. "You're all staying in school, keeping your part time jobs, and nothing is changing." She would do right by her friend, even if Ashley would have no idea. "Tell them you won the lottery or something, I don't care what. But I'm wiring you account information. I'll make sure all of your tuition is paid for and then some extra. The last thing she wanted was for either of you to do what she did."_

_"I can't take this. We can't take this."_

_"You can and you will. I made her a promise. But she can never know. She's mad at me already. I don't want her to think she has to forgive me for keeping my word." Shepard looked at the screen, seeing Lynn's resolve break as she observed a light glimmering at the end of the tunnel._

_"I won't tell her but this only lasts until I finish college, three years." Shepard's former classmate crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Take it or leave it."_

_"Deal."_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kopis

Sonax Industries set up a small mining expedition on Makhaira's largest moon, Kopis and found a mysterious artifact that Benezia T'Soni paid looting rights for. Not many scholars were interested in ancient and extinct races, so the cost was minimal and often netted her profitable business investments in the process. Providing help to her daughter’s science projects was not done solely for the benefit of Liara, Benezia reaped rewards as well.

Liara’s research vessel was required to land a distance away from the outpost due to the lava pools. Sonax had sent a hovercraft to pick up the doctor and her escort as the vehicle could only hold four people in the cramped space. After Shepard's other two attackers had turned up dead, each from an all too convenient overdose, C-Sec closed their investigation, considering the matter solved with all assailants in the morgue. Shepard however, had added another reason to the list of "reasons to act paranoid."

Liara was wearing one of the new sets of light armor the couple had purchased while on Thessia. The bodyguard had insisted she had at least minimal protection and they compromised on heavy duty leather which would still give her the comfort and ease of movement to carry out her field work. The topic of the archeologist carrying a pistol was still being 'discussed' however. 

"Where is Dr. Cayce?" Liara had committed to memory the details of her perspective meeting and precisely what was to be transferred. Dealing with her mother's disappointment over the years, trained the reflex in the younger asari to follow Benezia's instructions exactly. "She was expected to greet us."

"She's waiting for you in the artifact room, Dr. T'Soni." Their guide began walking towards a hallway further into the compound. "Just this way." 

As the couple was led through a series of winding corridors, Liara quickly joined her mind to Shepard's, long enough to communicate a quick message, _'I love you.'_ She felt warmth from her love as she broke the meld.

Even though both of their assistants knew the true nature of their relationship, the rest of the crew seemed to not be privy to the actual intimate status and the pair maintained their professionalism in public. That did not stop either of them from teasing the other, Liara with her mini-melds and Shepard suddenly feeling amorous in a group, knowing that the asari could sense it.

A sealed door to an airlock in the back of the lab was their final destination, a single protective suit dangled from a nearby hook. Their companion pointed to the suit and then nodded towards the archeologist. ”Dr. T’Soni, your suit is there if you would like to slip it on and proceed through the airlock. I apologize but we only have one in addition to Dr. Cayce's who is waiting inside. The room has been kept sealed to prevent any atmospheric contamination as per her orders but you are permitted to take your scanner in.”

Shepard radiated caution for Liara who smiled and nodded in the bodyguard’s direction. “Very well.” The doctor quickly slipped the enviro-suit over her leather armor and proceeded into the airlock. As the door swished closed and created a seal, Shepard walked over to the window in an effort to at least keep eye contact on her love. The other door opened into the artifact room with no relic in direct sight however Liara’s pace quickened when she rounded a corner out of sight.

“Now if you will excuse me.” 

The human turned and nodded her head as the guide exited the room rapidly. As the door swished shut, she heard one additional sentence.

“They’re split up. Go get her now.” 

The bodyguard ducked behind a nearby console, remaining out of vision of the door and hit the stealth button on her omni. The door slid open and heavy footsteps echoed through the compound, distinctly familiar to armor plated boots. Taking no chances after her recent complacency in the Citadel, she peeked above her cover, still camouflaged by her stealth field confirming her suspicions. _What the fuck are the Blue Suns doing here?_ Seeing three armored attackers with shotguns in hand, she hit the alarm signaling both Liara and the ship.

“Where the fuck she go? And only kill the human. The asari has to stay alive or we don’t get paid.” 

She estimated a little more than seven seconds until visible. Shepard aimed her trusty Carnifex at the temple of one of the bewildered guards and took her shot, splattering blood, brain, and skull all over the wall behind him. _He should have worn a helmet._ Ducking back down to conceal her location in preparation for her stealth to break, she made sure she turned her emotion to danger, hoping Liara was close enough to feel it. 

The other two assailants ran for cover, one not realizing he was stooping right next to Shepard. She took her gun to Blue Suns merc's head and pulled the trigger, turning her helm in an effort to protect her visor from blood splatter. Then her stealth field dissipated.

Shots sprayed all around her – she was thankful the console was providing enough protection from the bullets. _Wait for reload ..._ As clicking replaced the pops, Shepard rolled out to the side, quickly scanning for the last attacker. Realizing he was far enough away, she unleashed incinerate and finished the job with a shot to his still flaming head. 

She mashed the controls on the wall in a futile attempt to hurry the airlock mechanism. _Faster, damnit!_ Making a mental note to install a silent mode on Liara's omni alarm, she prayed the asari was able to put her training to use, keeping herself safe. As Shepard rounded the corner, Liara was glowing blue with a biotic orb floating above her hand. "Thank fuck you're okay!"

"Goddess, you are hurt!" Liara and Shepard spoke simultaneously as the asari released her biotics and ran towards her love. 

"It's not mine, I'm fine. The other three, not so much." The bodyguard glanced at a body lying against the base of a wall, mangled in a heap and wasted no time pumping two bullets into his skull, just to ensure he was dead. "What are you doing?"

Liara had run over to the artifact and grabbed the tiny orb, placing it in the satchel she had slung over her shoulder. "I could not leave this here. I am surprised it actually exists." The asari made her way back to her bodyguard's side.

"We need to get out of here." The escort checked her omni to see how many remained in the building. "Stay close but behind me and keep an eye out. There's only a few within range then we should be clear to the rover." Shepard grabbed Liara's hand with her armored glove and squeezed it tightly. "You are amazingly calm."

The scared scientist from Therum was no where to be found. "I am exceptionally annoyed that we keep getting attacked each time Benezia sends us for an artifact." Liara removed the enviro-suit as Shepard ran a quick scan on the dead man and claimed his omni. 

"You noticed that too, huh?" The human handed the device to Liara who placed it into her bag.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tali was working on the final adjustment to the scanners installed on the ship and their brand new rover. Liara had given her the task of overseeing the installation process, trusting her with an assignment the scientist deemed 'vital' to her expedition.

A quarian still on her pilgrimage normally did not receive such responsibility and it only inspired Tali to make sure everything was in perfect working order, adding a special touch with customized upgrades. She prided herself on proving Liara correct when the doctor placed such trust in her.

The rumor mill about Liara and Shepard had lost its steam after the human had ended up in the hospital. No verbal confirmation was needed to know how they felt about each other. It was obvious to everyone that watched the two together that somewhere along the line, they had consummated their relationship. Tali had seen it happen time and again on the flotilla.

Instead, the attention of the crew temporarily turned to creating the most outrageous explanation for Samantha’s broken nose one night at Flux, since the story that Oriana had accidently broken it during training just wasn't exciting enough.

_"You were in a headbutting contest with a krogan and lost?" Garrus had been the first to speak up._

_Joker took his typical approach to the guessing game. "That bartender from Afterlife likes rough melds."_

_"You were on the wrong end of a potato cannon."_

Ori paused and then burst into laughter at Kaidan's unusual response.

_"What is a potato cannon?" If Garrus could have wrinkled his nose at that point, he would have._

_"What is a potato?" Tali was confused by the entire statement and then declared Kaidan the winner for the most extreme answer._

Once the scientist and her escort had returned from Thessia, the ship had finally left dock and the crew resumed business as usual. On the voyage over, Tali lent her expertise to Samantha who was yet unable to develop a cipher to decode the data Liara had collected from Horizon or Thessia. 

"There is so much here and we can't seem to understand any of it." Samantha had been working diligently, more so than usual since the day Shepard landed in Huerta.

Tali surmised that the timing of her broken nose was too coincidental with the sudden disappearance of her crush on Shepard and Traynor's fling with the asari bartender. The only thing that the quarian was not sure about, was if Liara or Shepard was the one who actually caused the damage. "You'll get through, Sam. There's no one better at finding the best programs for the problem." Tali may be young, but having a father as an Admiral taught her when it was time to choose support over teasing.

Alerts rang from Tali's omni and the terminal Samantha was working on. "Bloody hell, we're being hacked." Traynors eyes scanned the terminal screen.

Tali had already started to run over to where the assistant was standing, knowing precisely what the customized alert meant. The engineer's masked features stared at the vid screen as she diligently clicked at the keyboard. "Impossible." The confusion was apparent in her voice. "It says the source of the hack is close by, and getting closer."

Not more than a few seconds passed before Garrus's sounded over the comm. "Shepard just hit her alarm and scanners show three vehicles headed towards us. Lock the ship down, now."

They had run the drill dozens of times during their time on the Citadel as a precautionary measure. Traynor was the first one to speak, a hint of fear crept into her voice. "I never thought those drills would become reality."

Tali ran for the lift, she wanted to deliver the details of the hackers personally to Garrus.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara had followed Shepard through the twists and turns of the compound as they disposed of the few remaining Blue Suns in their way. If there was one thing she could emphatically claim about Benezia, it was her ability to find the best of everything and Shepard was a master at her job. The first thing the escort insisted on was a meld so they could communicate effectively while sneaking up on the mercs. 

Both Shepard and Liara's omnis beeped simultaneously with a brief message from Garrus updating the ships status.

 _‘Remind me to install a silent mode on these damn alarms.’_ Shepard quickly checked the radar on her omni, relieved that no sign of life remained inside the building.

_'Bad news, there's at least six more outside. Wait here while I take a peek.'_

The distance at which Liara could pick up on others emotions, and thus sensing a presence was limited. Even though the intensity of the emotion increased the distance, it was still relatively ineffective beyond a few yards. The distance for maintaining a meld was even shorter and as Shepard moved out of range, their minds also separated. 

Liara always felt some sort of loneliness after breaking an extended meld from her love. Their souls and thoughts fit so well together, she couldn’t help but feel incomplete as they broke.

The bodyguard returned and pulled Liara back into a room so they could speak. "I count eight and they're all in cover." She keyed in a quick response to Garrus before continuing. "No more melds, you need to keep your strength." Shepard removed her helm and took a few deep breaths, her hair soaked in sweat. "But they aren't in Blue Suns armor. I don't get it." 

Liara noticed her bodyguard's eyes gaze off into nothing, an expression she often took when deep in thought.

"In fact, they're in plain armor ..." Shepard's brows furrowed as her lip curled into an annoyed sneer at her realization. "... just like Therum. What the fuck is going on?" The human shook her head in disbelief as the omni sang again. "Fuck! This thing needs a vibrate mode."

Liara watched Shepard's eyes scan the message in record time before looking up. "What is it, love?" The doctor was too angry at the entire situation that being scared was not even a thought in her head. She had confidence in her bodyguard and herself, especially after hurling the merc from the artifact room into the stone wall with such devastating force.

"I don't think they’re on our side. Tali says these guys were trying to hack us weeks ago." She tossed her helm across the room. "Jesus, I can't breathe in that thing, it's making me light headed. And we need to talk to Kasumi about getting you this stealth program too." The protector sighed and then explained the plan of attack, ending it with a quick kiss on Liara's cheek. "I need you to keep a bubble on us while I am shooting, at least until I whittle them down some. The drone will keep some stunned but we have to be careful." Her eyes glanced back to the radar momentarily. "Listen, Liara, if for some reason we don't ..."

Liara interrupted her immediately. "Stop, now." She brushed her fingers across Shepard's brow, unsticking the human's sweaty bangs from her forehead. The asari softened her tone. "I have faith in you, Jaye." 

"Yeah well, I love you anyway." There was no joking in her voice, only sincerity and seriousness matching the dire straits they were caught in.

"And I, you. Now shall we go punch their asses?" Liara's lips puckered and she momentarily flared her biotics in a show of readiness. 

Shepard allowed herself a moment to chuckle at the asari's attempt at a human expression. "Yes, let's go punch their asses." 

Liara returned Shepard's smile and followed behind as they made their way to the entrance. They flanked either side of the entranceway as the human activated stealth mode once again on her omni and disappeared. Liara was expecting the sound of a discharging Carnifex but nothing happened. She felt Shepard's hand lightly tapping the side of her head and taking the cue, she melded.

_'Jack's out there. I bet she’s here to help us. I took aim and saw her slinking away from the group, trying to flank them.’_

_‘That does not make sense, Jaye. How would she know to be here? Perhaps she is trying to get a better angle inside.’_ Since Liara’s own mother had been leading them into traps, she was assuming a more cautious demeanor.

Shepard was insistent. _’She's a lot of things but no way she would turn on me. Not when she owes me, she hates being in debt to anyone.'_

Liara provided the logical response. _'If you are dead, she does not owe you.'_

 _'It doesn't matter if I think she owes me, she would still think she did even if I was dead.'_ The human paused and she reappeared, hidden from the view of the assailants. _'Going to pick off one on the left side and watch Jack. Hopefully she's really on our side. When I point, blast in that direction.'_ Liara felt Shepard break the meld, a slight feeling of hope had crept into the human's mood.

The bodyguard took to one knee, motioning Liara to her side. Once again, Shepard aimed her Carnifex with the widest angle she could find and fired a split second after she yelled one word. "Zero!" She looked up at Liara and mouthed the word 'bubble' who followed the order.

Shepard peeked out through the protection of the biotic field toward the original direction she had seen her old acquaintance, noticing she and another had also opened fire.

Liara felt relief as the human maneuvered her back to the inside wall, taking cover in the doorway. A drone shot out of the escort's omni and darted to the commotion outside. The asari maintained her bubble of protection as Shepard once again took position and fired a few more shots. She felt happiness pouring from the human as she pointed ahead.

Liara fell back to her childhood commando training instantly, bolting out and tossing a biotic wave a split second after finding her target. From her peripheral view, she saw an unarmored, tattooed biotic standing next to another armed figure destroying the line of attack from the far flank. 

Blasts of biotics and bullets rang in the air with an occasional "Take that, you fucks!" sounding from Jack's direction. 

As Liara rotated between biotic blasts and bubbles on Shepard, she watched Jack from the corner of her vision. 

There was reckless abandon in the other Biotic’s assault, either not caring that she was exposed to return fire, or completely confident in the armed companion providing her cover. At one point, she even looked towards the doorway, bloodlust spread across her face, "hey, Shepard - just like old times!," screeching like a lunatic.

Liara couldn't help but smile as the remaining adversaries were eliminated. This was the only human she had ever seen who could match an asari with biotic power.

Shepard quickly reloaded her weapon before running over to meet their saviors with Liara in tow. "What the fuck are you doing here?" She held out her hand, vigorously shaking the tattooed Biotic’s hand.

"Saving your ass, what's it look like?" She looked towards Liara, "and your ass too it seems."

Liara smiled and nodded her head. "Thank you. Thank you to you both." She glanced at the tall helmed figure next to Jack. From the armor, Liara deduced she was human, and she was female. 

Shepard broke her grip with Jack and held her hand out to the stranger. "Yes, thanks."

As the helm was removed, a wave of sweaty black hair fell loosely around the woman's broad shoulders. Shepard was stunned. 

Liara recognized the steely gaze meeting her love's eyes, she had seen it once before in Afterlife, right after she and Shepard had just met. 

"Ash?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The outer shutters were closed immediately as step one of their lock down plan went into effect. The ship could withstand a nearly endless assault from conventional small arms as long as the airlock remained sealed. Tali and Samantha were both stationed at terminals, ready to counteract any hacking attempt on the door. 

But Garrus knew the main problem was not the ship itself, it was getting Shepard and Liara safely aboard. They had basic defensive weapons which were not designed to be used on the ground. Their visitors brought two rovers with a total of eight passengers, all armed yet not assuming attack positions; one vehicle had not yet shown up. 

Garrus maintained the 'truce', keeping in contact with Shepard and Liara in order to figure out the best plan. The doctor and her bodyguard had apparently found two allies amidst the assailants and the four were on their way back in a hovercraft. The turian contemplated a solution to the current problem while he waited for notification that his boss's entourage were getting close.

Then the other side made the first move, in the form of a message on an open frequency.

_We received notification that an attempted kidnapping was underway at the outpost not far from here. Have you had any problems? The Suns have been hitting a lot of compounds here lately. We would like to offer assistance if needed._

Garrus didn't have to ask Tali to verify that the source of the message was indeed the source of the hack, she communicated it immediately, followed by, "... and I have a plan."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ashely hadn't spoken a word. She just nodded lacking any hint of emotion. It was almost robotic, Shepard had noticed. However Ashley was with Jack and the two had certainly turned the odds in survival's favor. 

Jack had quickly informed the couple of the double cross plan. They were auditioning to be part of a military group who had hired the Suns to carry out a kidnapping and murder. Liara was then going to be rescued from the Suns, thus gaining trust for their mysterious employer. They had no idea why, and any attempts to warn Shepard were not successful. 

Shepard and Liara sat in the back of the rover with Ashley riding shotgun. Jack was the one who drove, insisting that that Shepard's driving was more deadly than a nest of thresher maws. As soon as the couple were left alone, Liara had joined their thoughts.

_'Are you alright?'_

_'Just a little stunned. Save your power, we still have a fight ahead of us.'_ Shepard felt the love pouring from Liara as the meld ended. Garrus said they had a plan but they only got one shot and it was unknown how many assailants, if any would be killed. She just had to give the signal when the group was in position.

The rover parked a good distance away from the front of the ship where the most protection was provided by the rocky terrain. Before beginning the final part of the voyage on foot, Shepard covered the plan, making sure to let Liara feel how confident she was in their chance of success.

Ashley remained silent as she covered the rear during their trek. Even though Shepard picked up no extra life signs on her omni, the group remained vigilant while scanning the area with each of their senses. Had Shepard not been so concerned with keeping her love safe, the silence from her former best friend would have been burrowing into her skin. It was easy to push all questions aside with duty and Liara on the forefront of her mind.

The ship was the only thing between the group and two enemy vehicles. The four were hiding behind a large boulder, pools of bubbling lava littering the solid ground.

"You guys ready?" Shepard saw Ashley and Liara both nod while Jack responded with a hearty "Fuck, yes! Let's blow some shit up!" She sent Garrus the message to deploy, and the group waited for the signal.

The time ticked on, testing the patience of Jack the most. She began to noticeably fidget, creating biotic balls in her hand just to dissipate them a second later.

The echo of metal grinding could be heard in the distance. Shepard smiled at Liara. "Go time." With all eyes pointed at the ships hold opening, the group moved from rock to rock, getting closer to their destination. 

Shepard spied a sniper off to the side, away from the rest and pointed in the direction, notifying her companion.

Ashley took to her knee and aimed her rifle. "Say when." It was the first words she spoke, her tone as neutral as her face had been.

There was a high pitched buzzing sound and then the beam of a mining laser emerged from the open hold, sending one of the vehicles tumbling into a puddle of lava, consuming both metal and the passengers. 

Ashley took her shot with a word from her former friend, shattering the snipers skull into bits. Liara tossed singularity fields into the remaining group in order to allow for easy targeting but Jack's shockwave sent some of the bodies hurling through the air.

An additional vehicle appeared from the distance, kicking up dirt as it sped to aid. It was then that Shepard noticed something unexpected. The grinding stopped and the Mako, Liara's brand new rover sped down the loading ramp. 

"What the fuck is Tali doing?" Shepard had told Garrus to close the hatch back up after the laser was fired. It would take time to recharge and she didn't want to risk the ship being boarded. The quarian using the Mako to ram the armed attackers was not part of the plan. 

Jack was inspired by the carnage and ran ahead, hurling shockwave after shockwave, trying to angle her shots to topple vehicles and attackers alike in the path of the destructive Mako. 

Shepard glanced at Liara and then Ashley, "stay here, cover us." She ran a little bit ahead, shooting her Carnifex and reloading it as quickly as she could. The escort didn't risk using incinerate with Jack running around so haphazardly out of fear of setting the crazy biotic on fire.

Then she heard it. A large bang from behind. A grenade. She turned and saw Ashley's armored body covering Liara's, remnants of an explosion where they had just been located.

A wordless anguished howl erupted from her throat. Her heart was torn between a dull red rage and a blinding fear, before she spotted an outlet, the cause of her torment.

A lone figure was readying another grenade and Shepard unloaded an entire clip into him while sprinting towards the only two people she had ever cared for.

They were moving, both of them. A refreshing wave of relief cleansed the fear from her bones as she approached.

Ashley rolled off Liara with a pistol pointed up in the direction of the approaching footsteps, dropping it when she realized who it was. Blood was seeping out of the human's legs; shrapnel had torn into her armor. 

Liara appeared unscathed as she turned over, except for scratches on her hands and face. "Goddess, we need to get her to Ori."

"I'm fine." Ash tried to stand, but her legs were wobbly and she collapsed back down on the ground. 

Shepard turned quickly to see Jack and the Tali-driven Mako mopping up the rest of the mysterious militants. She ran another scan for other hidden attackers and saw none. "Liara, do you have enough to float her to the ship? We can't put any pressure on her legs."

Liara nodded and began watching their backs for any sign of movement, standing vigil over Ashley just as Shepard was. "Yes, tell me when."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ashley Williams was lying on her stomach in the sickbay bed as Dr. Ryan finished treating her wounds. She had heard the grenade rolling towards their position and pushed Liara down, covering her as much as she could. Heavy armor would protect herself but the asari was only in leather and would not have lived through that blast. 

After hearing about Tony Saracino's untimely death, Ashley was offered a new job from Tony's brother, with a lucrative paycheck that she originally turned down. When the name of 'Jaye Shepard' was dropped in the same sentence as 'revenge', only then did she accept his offer. 

She had tried to find her old friend and warn her before the attack on the Citadel but Aria T'Loak was less than helpful. Upon hearing that Shepard had survived the first ambush, she was relieved but was not going to pass up the opportunity to ensure Shepard's continued survival.

She clenched her eyes shut, recalling how she came to protect the person she spent four years hating. After their meeting in Afterlife, Ashley returned home and mentioned the encounter to her sister, Lynn. Shepard's old school mate had always been quick to defend Shepard without offering much of a reason, until that particular conversation. 

At first, Ashley tried to tell herself that a promise was a promise and keeping that promise had little relevance to the status of her friendship with Shepard. But the disclosure that Shepard had supported her family made her think. She re-examined everything that had happened with a lot of nudging from her sisters and came to one conclusion. If the situation was reversed, and Ashley was offered a way out of jail, she would have taken it too. 

Yet when she saw her old friend, when her old friend realized who she was, Ashley didn't know what to say. Too many others were around and it would have to wait.

Knowing that Jack was in debt to Shepard for some recent favor, Ashley had recruited the crazy biotic to her rescue mission and here they were.

Shepard and her new employer both remained, with Ashley's permission, as her wounds were treated and metal removed. Even though a few scraps of shrapnel had cut to the bone and into the muscle, permanent damage was unlikely but not totally ruled out. It was worth it. They were all safe and speeding ... somewhere. She didn't care where, as long as everyone was still alive.

The doctor was applying the last of the bandages as Ashley thought about what to say when she and Shepard were finally alone. 

"I will monitor your movement over the next few days and hopefully you will be back to normal shortly." The doctor washed her hands before reaching into the locked cabinet for a bottle. "This is for the pain and if you need anything, please notify me. I am on call constantly." Dr. Ryan nodded her head. "It's nice to meet you, Ashley" and then she made her exit.

Ashley sat up, dangling her legs over the side, noticing her friend leaning against the wall. 

The asari was by her side and was the first to speak, her face scratched up from the tackle. "My name is Liara T'Soni. It is nice to officially meet you." 

Ashley smiled, she had been wary of the doctor's reception, especially after the meeting on Omega. She still didn't speak. 

"I would like to thank you for saving me earlier. But first, I think you two need to speak so I shall take my leave." Liara smiled her way and then grabbed Shepard's hand quickly before turning to leave.

"Nice to meet you too, I'm Ashley." She found it easier to look at Liara rather than meet her former friend's eyes. The doctor returned her smile and exited.

At last, they were alone for the first time since that night. As Ashley finally went to speak, Shepard beat her to it.

"I'm sorry."

Ashley began to laugh and the tension in her broke. "I didn't fly all the way out here for you to apologize to me."

Shepard nose wrinkled, flashing that disbelieving look that Ashley grew to recognize. 

"You two ... you're together?" She had no idea why she said it, the words just came out.

"Yes." Shepard shifted her weight to her other leg. Her voice was still tentative.

"I'm happy for you." Ashley stood up, the ache in her legs dulled from an injection. "I'm sorry - for everything." 

"I can't blame you for being mad." Shepard finally smiled.

Ashley laughed. Her friend had relaxed a bit over the years. It wasn't just maturity, Ashley surmised, she thought Liara had a lot to do with it. "You've changed. You're not as angry as you used to be." She saw Shepard’s smile widen.

Both remained silent, neither sure of what to say. 

Finally Ashley said what she came to say. "Friends?" She held out her hand, hoping the gesture was returned.

Instead Shepard approached and then stopped just as her arms began to open. She looked scared and started to put her arms back at her sides. 

Ashley understood her hesitation. But Ash had grown up and relaxed too, mostly thanks to some serious time spent with her sisters. She wrapped her arms around the smaller human and hugged her tightly. 

Shepard gulped and choked back a tear. "Friends."


	27. Chapter 27

Title courtesy of Pink.

Chapter 27 – Glitter in the Air

Almost Illium

Liara decided Illium would be the safest place for the ship and its crew, at least until they developed a plan. Joker plotted a course to make the journey with as much haste as possible and then handed the helm over to Kaidan before heading to the mess hall. 

In honor of Tali's destructive rampage in the Mako, Joker picked an old Earth vid named "Speed" as the first part of double feature movie night and Gardner prepared an equally inspired buffet. Jack took a liking immediately to the quarian. The pair had also aptly named themselves 'Team Carnage', reliving tales of their earlier triumph at every opportunity. 

Shepard and Ashley had made amends but Liara noticed they were still tentative and formal in their discussions. As much as Shepard liked to claim that her past was indeed behind her, Liara knew from their melds that she carried a lot of baggage - the asari could feel the weight of emotion as Jaye talked about her past. Some details the human easily shared, showing Liara various images and memories. But other, more sensitive memories she brushed over quickly, not ready to deal with that part of her past. Shepard carried a lot of guilt when it came to her relationship with Ashley, and Liara was hoping their reconciliation would ease her love's burden. 

While the scientist was happy to see her crew celebrating their victory, she knew this incident was not isolated. Somehow Shepard's past was tied to whatever Benezia was involving them in. The doctor had slipped away to her quarters partway through the first movie in order to meditate in silence, relaxing her mind in preparations for the decisions she knew had to be made. She also wanted to give the two former friends some time to start rebuilding their relationship.

A photo taken on Thessia of Shepard and Liara was displayed prominently on the nightstand with a pair of glowing orbs providing the only source of light. Liara was replaying the events of earlier in her head when suddenly sensing her lover’s presence and smiled to herself just as the door to her room slid open. Upon opening her eyes, she noticed Shepard squinting in her direction.

"Ah, you are awake, I was wondering if you nodded off when I saw your eyes closed." 

Liara had been sitting upright against her headboard, soles of her feet pressed together, and arms relaxed at her side. "I was attempting to clear my head after today's occurrences. Did you enjoy the vid?"

"It was alright." Shepard slipped the t-shirt over her head and kicked off her boots before dropping her cargos to the floor, leaving just a tank top and underwear. Stepping out of her pants, she headed across the room towards the bed. "The crew loved it, Jack especially and the second one was just starting when I said my goodnights. I guess I'm just a little exhausted. Was hoping for some alone time with you."

Liara slid down until she was lying on her side, beckoning Shepard next to her. "It is nice to see you and Ashley settle your differences. I know it was something that bothered you."

Shepard crawled next to the asari, pressing her back into Liara's soft and supple curves. "It's not back to the way it was but at least she doesn't hate me." 

Liara snaked her arm around the human's hips, slipping her hand under Shepard's waistband. 

"It'll take time I guess." The human released a contented sigh.

"I also sent a message to Benezia as we discussed." The coincidence in attacks related to the expeditions sourced by the matriarch could not be ignored. 

As annoyed as Liara was with the happenstance, logically it did not make sense for Benezia to be orchestrating the entire facade. 'She would just have Shiala poison me if she wanted me dead.' There was a small amount of seriousness in Liara's voice when she had made the sarcastic remark earlier. The couple decided the best possible approach was to be guarded when dealing with Benezia. 

"Good. I can't wait to hear her reaction to the thought that she paid for bad info."

Liara buried her face into Shepard's hair and inhaled. They had purchased a generous amount of bathing supplies while on Thessia in a specialty shop catering to humans, including the shampoo they utilized a few hours prior. "I think it is time to perhaps expand our crew with a few more experienced combatants." 

After Oriana had treated Ashley, the two rescuers debriefed Liara and Shepard on what little details they had. The actual identity of the mysterious military organization was still unknown, but the duo learned that Tony Saracino's brother was the head of a pro-human political group named Terra Firma. They had gained very little respect on the political front because most just dismissed them as radical extremists. They recently disappeared from public eye but apparently found another partner to advance their agenda. At least Jack and Ashley were able to explain Shepard's involvement.

"After what we were told, I think it's a good idea. Are you sure you just don't want to cancel any trips until we figure out what's going on?" 

"There is some reason they want me and I do not think they will stop no matter where I am." Liara was not sure where she could go that would be any safer than in her ship, surrounded by experienced fighters and especially Shepard. Liara T'Soni was no coward. She was however, 'defiant' according to Shiala and her mother and these attempts only made the asari more determined to find out exactly why they wanted her. "Tomorrow I will give everyone the opportunity to resign if they believe the danger is too high. How do you feel about Jack and Ashley joining our expedition?" Liara inhaled the scent of Shepard's hair one more time.

Shepard explained Jack's past, as best she knew it. Jack was a gun for hire, a merc in the true sense with loyalty as long as the pay was good and the action was regular. But Jack could also be careless and most considered her to be slightly insane. "She'd be a powerful ally if we're willing to deal with her shit. Mostly she's predictably erratic, if that makes sense." 

Liara's ability to sense feelings would give her the upper hand in dealing with the human biotic and she was not worried in the least. Liara had also witnessed her deadly firepower first hand and felt Jack’s personality was worth dealing with. "And Ashley?"

"She's almost as good as Garrus with a sniper rifle and she's perfect at protecting flanks. She also has the military background."

"I learned all of this earlier on Kopis." Liara kissed her lover’s shoulder. "How do you feel about it?" 

Shimmying deeper into Liara's embrace, Shepard couldn't help but glow from the thoughtfulness conveyed with the question. "I'd love it. Four years is a long time to make up for, but her being here would make it easier."

"Then tomorrow prior to the brunch meeting, I shall extend invitations to both."

Shepard twisted around bringing their faces close, barely touching Liara's lips with her own. "Thank you." She gave the asari a gentle kiss. 

"Jaye, you do not have to thank me for this or anything." Liara slid her entire hand underneath Shepard's boy-cut briefs, lightly caressing her soft skin.

"I could never put it into words until Ash said it earlier. I'm a lot happier now and it's because of you." Shepard rested her head in the crook of Liara's arm and closed her eyes.

Shepard had a look of calm on her face that was a rare occurrence and it made Liara's heart melt. Liara also felt how content Shepard was. The asari leaned their foreheads together while continuing to rub the human's lower back.

It was not long before Shepard's breathing had leveled off into a steady pulse signaling that she had drifted into sleep. When Liara adjusted her arm and Shepard did not wake, Liara smiled. A sound slumber was also uncommon for the human. Waking up in response to the slightest noise or movement was a frequent occurrence; yet another leftover scar from street life. This time, however, the bodyguard did not stir. Shepard was beginning to find some sort of peace. 

"I love you too, Jaye." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“I brought you a little of everything but they say it’s spicy, so be careful. I don’t think Joker would appreciate you getting sick and making him miss the movie.” Oriana handed Kaidan his plate as manned the controls in the cockpit. The couple often spent time together, watching the stars streak by, sharing stories and moments.

“Thanks.” Kaidan flashed a smile, often times finding himself tongue tied as he admired her seemingly perfect features. “I’ll move the rest of my stuff into your room tomorrow. We should take Sam out for a drink when we get to Illium since she agreed to change rooms for us.” He took the plate and swiveled his chair, facing the doctor. “Are you optimistic about your discovery? I used to have a gerbil named Miranda when I was younger.”

The doctor giggled at her boyfriend. “Interesting choice of pets, K.” She found his odd sense of humor endearing. And even though he rarely attempted to actually be funny, he made her laugh constantly and that was important.

Kaidan wrinkled his brow at her curiously, not quite sure what she found amusing but she was cute when she smiled, so he didn’t much care either. “Military family means small spaces. Had to get what I could. But I know you must be excited that you have something to go by now.” 

“I am but … Oriana Miranda. It sounds weird, doesn't it?” Oriana took a bite and quickly followed it with a drink, trying to kill the fire in her mouth.

"There's a lot of a's in there." Kaidan laughed and then continued. "Ryan sounds better."

“I guess it wouldn’t be Oriana though, my parents were the ones to actually name me, after my father’s mother.” The doctor set her plate back down. “But you’re right, at least I have a last name now. It’s something.” Both Tali and Shepard had made a few additions to the trace programs Ori had been using and finally she got a scrap of data, one single name. It only encouraged her more.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"No. Liara is fine, she has no idea I even contacted you." Benezia T'Soni's response was as Shepard had expected: brief and useless. She and Liara had prepared for this and Shepard was hoping she would be the next in line to manipulate the matriarch. "I need to talk to you." 

The vid feed showed her love's mother, staring dispassionately into the vid screen, engulfed in a cone of silence.

Immediately following their morning shower, Shepard contacted the matriarch for a discussion. "When you hired me, you told me to keep your daughter safe and yet you have been less than helpful since then."

"If she is indeed safe, then get to the point, human."

"She's in perfect health." _In fact, she's standing on the other side of the vid screen listening to the entire exchange._ "You hired me to protect your daughter and I will, even if that means protecting her from you."

"What ... do you mean?" Her annoyance was apparent and the fact that she was being challenged by a simple mercenary was preposterous. 

_Good, she's rattled._ "Your latest bit of info was a hoax." 

Liara informed Benezia in her message that there was no artifact and the research compound had been deserted. 

"Then there's the fact that you wouldn't tell me anything after Therum." _Toss it up there and let her swing ..._ "I'm beginning to wonder if you really give a shit about her well being."

"How dare you accuse me of not caring about my daughter!"

 _... and miss._ "If you really do care about Liara, then maybe you should start letting her grow up a bit." Shepard loved being underestimated both physically and intellectually. She knew how to manipulate with the best of them. Ashley called it 'street smarts'. "Give me the name of the one feeding you the crap information and let your daughter handle something for once."

"Why are you asking me this instead of Liara?"

"She did in her message and the fact that you can't even remember tells you why I am." Liara wasn't ready for a verbal confrontation with Benezia, not yet. Shepard understood that it was something the younger asari had to work through on her own. For now, she was more than happy to help the situation in whatever way she could. "You want her to train to become your heir? Why waste time now when the opportunity is there."

Benezia T'Soni was quiet for a moment and then took a deep breath after contemplating the logic used on her. Liara had correctly deduced that logic would be the only way to effectively manipulate her mother.

"I will not give you my source, but I will give you the name of the broker who provided both business leads."

Shepard noticed Liara's expression change once Benezia spoke the word 'broker'. She mouthed the name with her mother.

"Nyxeris, she is on Illium. I provided Liara with her name once. She will know who she is."

Shepard smiled and contemplating politely thanking the matriarch, until the elder asari began the next sentence.

"And Shepard, if you think for one ..."

Click.

Liara's eyes nearly bulged from their sockets, absolutely stunned at what just occurred. “Did you just disconnect Benezia mid-sentence?"

"Yeah, I did." A cheeky grin engulfed Shepard's face. "She had it coming."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After Shepard's call with Benezia, Liara had tendered offers to both Jack and Ashley. In light of building loyalty with Jack, she would be paid in advance thus resulting in a change of payroll schedule for the entire crew as well. Jack's contract did not include a service term as Liara did not want the human to feel trapped and instead relied on Jack's willingness to remain as long as she was content. Surprisingly, Ashley did not immediately accept the job offer as Jack had done. Liara felt some hesitation as well as eagerness as she declined immediately before brunch, leaving no time for the scientist to inquire as to the reasons.

The brunch meeting went as planned with Shepard going over the compiled information for the Kopis incident for everyone to hear. The escort handed out tactical praise to all involved as each had exceeded their responsibilities. They worked as a team in absence of their two bosses and both Shepard and Liara thanked the group for their efforts. As expected, when Liara offered anyone the opportunity to dissolve their service contract, not one took advantage. 

As soon as the meeting broke up, the asari asked Ashley to speak in private and then led the limping human to her office. She was hoping to address whatever was causing Ashley's hesitation in staying as Ashley’s presence was beneficial for both business and personal reasons.

After Ashley had taken a seat across from Liara, the asari began. "I first wanted to properly thank you for saving me yesterday. To act so heroically to save a stranger is commendable to say the least." Liara smiled, reacting to what she was sensing from Ashley in an attempt to win the human over.

"It was nothing. I came to save Shep and you two seem to be a package deal." 

Liara noticed the cross pendant around her neck along with what appeared to be a set of alliance military tags. "She is special to me as you are to her. I am hoping to convince you to stay; she would like it very much and so would I."

"We have a history - well I guess you know that already." Ashley shifted in her chair, avoiding direct eye contact with the doctor. "I wouldn't feel right. I don't want to intrude."

Liara knew about the misunderstanding between the two but was not sure what specifically Ashley was referring to. "You are not. We would both like you here. She told me how you pulled her off the streets. That makes you important to me as well." The doctor smiled warmly, trying to make Ashley feel comfortable and welcome. 

"She helped my sister when they were both kids. Lynn was getting picked on at school." Ashley reached up gripping the tags around her neck.

"Did those belong to someone important to you?" Liara discovered the relationship between Ashley and the famous General Williams after she had researched the human's past following the meeting in Afterlife. While many humans viewed her grandfather's actions as weak and traitorous, Liara saw the wisdom in his decision - he saved lives. She quickly learned from Shepard that the younger Williams displayed the same selfless streak when it came to her sisters. She made difficult choices, enduring burdens in order to provide for her sisters. 

"They were my grandfather's. I try to do right by his memory." She smiled meekly at the asari, hoping she wouldn't be pressed for more details.

Sensing Ashley's apprehension, Liara cooperated. "This is honest work and I hope my offer was ample enough to suit your needs. What can I say to convince you to stay? I would like the opportunity to get to know the person Jaye speaks so highly of."

Ashley's forehead wrinkled, contemplating Liara’s words for a moment but remaining silent.

"And with the danger we both seem to be in, it would be a comfort to have someone like you protecting our backs." Liara noticed Ashley ease back into the chair and smiled. She had accomplished her goal.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard was seated between Liara's legs on her bed, hair still damp from the shower. The sensation of the comb running through her hair was so relaxing and stimulating at the same time. "I'm shocked you haven't asked me to grow my hair longer. You’re obsessed with it." 

"I am rather attracted to your short hair. You look soft but rugged and it is exceptionally sexy."

"Sexy, huh?" Shepard arched her neck backwards a little more. "Can I ask you something?"

"You know you can ask me anything." The doctor put the comb down on the nightstand and instead threaded Shepard's hair with her fingers, lightly scratching the human's scalp in the process.

"Is there a reason you haven't been ... umm aggressive when we're fooling around lately?" Shepard felt the enthusiasm in her lover's actions but missed that edge that Liara displayed when they first got together. "Am I doing something wrong?"

The caresses stopped momentarily before Liara spoke. "Do not ever think you are doing anything wrong, Jaye." Liara slid her fingertips down the human's back and around to her stomach. "I thought you could tell from our melds how much I thoroughly enjoy our lovemaking."

"Well yeah, I know afterwards that you're happy but we haven't melded during yet, so I wasn't sure." They had agreed as a couple to take slow steps and as often as they joined their thoughts, neither had approached the topic of a true union yet. 

"I pushed too hard once …” Liara kissed the back of Jaye's neck, still feeling a twinge of guilt from their fight weeks prior. “… and I do not wish to make the same mistake again."

Shepard twisted around to her knees, noticing how Liara was positioned and forgot what she was about to say. She swallowed hard, knowing that Liara read her sudden shift in emotion due to the sly look on the doctor’s face. "Then maybe we should meld and you will see for yourself what I'm thinking." Shepard turned her lips in, rubbing them side to side then her eyes trailed downward. As she felt Liara enter her mind, her lip curled into a sneer. _'I have grown addicted to feeling you inside me.'_

Liara pursed her lips. _'Is that so my protector?'_ Shepard may not have intended the double meaning in her thought but Liara still shuddered at the human's internal dialogue.

Shepard chuckled only momentarily before the view commanded her attention once again, absorbing the beauty that was Liara. Her mouth opened slightly, momentarily catching her breath and then Jaye couldn’t help but smile. Each could feel the eagerness in the other. There was no need for Shepard to project an image for Liara to know what she had been thinking. The asari had been thinking about it as well. 

The soles of Liara's feet pressed into the bed as she bent her knees, a usual response when the asari became especially aroused. Shepard maneuvered backwards slightly, tugging on Liara's legs. _'Slide down a little, beautiful.'_

Liara felt the smooth threading of the sheets gliding on her textured skin as she followed her love's direction. She was already quivering with anticipation when she noticed her love sit back on her heels, wide-eyed and eager. 

Shepard reached her hand out and ran two fingers on the outside of Liara's folds, knowing how it drove the asari crazy. She maintained eye contact, watching the asari’s reaction with each touch and feeling it simultaneously. She was taking full advantage of the meld.

 _'Goddess, you truly do enjoy this.'_ Liara arched her back slightly without even realizing it. They enjoyed teasing each other but this was a moment they had both secretly been looking forward to - the anticipation was almost unbearable.

 _'Not as much as you will.'_ Being joined so deeply with Liara gave Shepard a new wave of confidence. She always had a brash streak but the meld removed any hint of doubt she possessed. 

Shepard slid a single finger between her lover's azure lips before bringing the digit to her mouth, closing her eyes as she tasted the asari. Shepard eased herself down on the bed and began tracing lines on Liara's thighs with her tongue, still savoring the flavor from her finger. 

No more words were needed. The depth of the meld communicated everything. Shepard slowly dragged her teeth together on a soft part of the asari's thigh, nibbling lightly as her other hand stroked her glistening folds. Liara’s natural scent was even stronger from this position, euphoric sweetness.

There was only so much teasing that Shepard could endure dishing out. She felt the wetness already seeping onto her own thighs in anticipation. Shepard traced her tongue up Liara's leg towards her destination. 

Knowing Liara trusted her enough to be this intimately close with her, both physically and emotionally, excited Shepard even more. Her tongue darted out, eagerly exploring the spot that her hands knew so well. She licked around the hardened bud before taking it between her lips, lightly sucking. It was then that she felt the ghosting sensation between her own legs through the meld and Liara's nervous system. 

She no longer had to ask for guidance, she just knew how deeply Liara enjoyed each flick of her tongue and what spots were more sensitive than others. Shepard slid a finger inside Liara and curled it slightly at the very tip while continuing to pleasure the asari with her mouth.

The human began squirming right along with Liara as the pace quickened, feeling her own excitement building with each lick. Shepard then slipped a second finger in, the meld communicating just how close Liara was before she felt a pair of hands on her head. _'Wait.'_

There was no panic in Shepard, she knew exactly what Liara's motivation was and it excited her even more. She slid up until their mouths met, kissing deeply as Liara's nails dug into the human's back. Liara's tongue escaped the kiss, licking Shepard's face in a fury of passion. 

Shepard trusted Liara with all of her soul, nothing was guarded. As Liara flipped Shepard over with featherlike force, Shepard felt true freedom and bliss. She had the upmost confidence in her lover and any fear she ever possessed floated away into thin air. Liara was nibbling her way downward while her fingers probed the wet area between Shepard's thighs. 

Having their minds intensely joined brought a whole new dimension to their intimacy. Liara's thoughts and feelings were as natural as her own - the two halves truly became a whole, their puzzles no longer missing a piece.

Shepard looked down at her love, noticing Liara had already left a mark on her stomach just below her navel. Seeing the mischievous look as the asari's big blue eyes returned her gaze prompted Shepard to thrust her hips forward. Her breathing was already deep and ragged.

Liara reached up for a pillow and quickly slid it under the human's hips after using biotics to quickly lift her love’s backside just enough off the bed. Shepard felt Liara's breath on her swollen nerve center, knowing her cobalt lips was hovering so closely. Clenching her eyes tightly, the human leaned her head back into the softness of the feather pillow.

Shepard then felt Liara's nose probing, nuzzling around while the asari’s lithe arms reached under and around each of Shepard's muscular thighs. Finally, the warm, moist sensation of Liara's tongue tasted her every drop. The asari flattened her tongue, tacking long and deliberately slow licks before probing with the point. Shepard could feel herself getting close once again, knowing Liara was also approaching her peak.

_'Are you ready, love?'_

Liara was pleased with her effort and it only further excited Shepard. Liara began kissing the human's sensitive bud as if she was kissing Shepard's mouth. It was bliss. The muscles in her legs tensed up, the electricity shooting out to each of her limbs, and Shepard began to climax, knowing Liara was writhing along with her, reacting to the sensory overload. Shepard wondered how Liara was able to concentrate on what she was doing.

The quivering of her legs continued as always did as the sensation began to lessen. Liara rested her head on Shepard's thigh, also trying to catch her breath, gently caressing the human’s abdomen and hip. Neither spoke, no words were needed. Each of their minds was open, sharing memories and feelings, reveling in their familiarity.

Shepard showed Liara an image from Thessia. The asari was looking across the lake from the boat, the moonlight silhouetting her perfect features, telling Shepard of the beach they would visit the next day. Liara showed Shepard the image of her at the park in Armali. The human was making funny faces at a toddler sitting next to them on the bench, causing the child to giggle in fits of laughter. Both images conveying one of the many reasons they were in love with each other. Liara crawled up next to Shepard, resting her head in the crook of her arm, their still sweaty bodies feeling as natural together as ever. 

It was always intense when they made love but it was never quite this surreal. A double layer of bliss jolted their nervous systems while at the same time, their souls became completely intertwined. 

All of their fears, pain, anxiety, all of their _loneliness_ had dissipated. 

The universe was in balance. 

They had transcended.

They were one.


	28. Chapter 28

Title courtesy of The Pretenders.

Chapter 28 – I’ll Stand By You

Illium

"This is a first for even us. If you ask me, breaking into an apartment on Illium is more dangerous than breaking into Tevos' office." Kasumi was running all of the usual scans before keying in the code Liara had provided. The couple had already been lounging around in Nos Astra when they received a message from their friend and client. 

"I would agree. If it was anyone but Liara, I wouldn't have even considered it." Keiji continued to monitor heat signatures in the area, trying to avoid any surprise guests. They had a very rare program which bypassed all cloaking devices used by elite security forces. Of course their own cloaking devices were impervious to scans. It was one of the perks of using the best technology available on the black market - they were always the first to exploit new advances. Being the best thieves in the galaxy was not without effort. 

They couple had decided to stop their freelancing since Liara had been providing them with ample income and challenges. When it came down to the reasons they chose their profession, the thrill was just as much a part of the motivation as the credits. Both could anonymously hack into any bank with little effort. But there was no fun involved in that, or at least not nearly as much.

The keypad beeped and the two immediately hit their stealth shields as the door opened. "Stay frosty." Once Kasumi confirmed the security vid loop was in place, they immediately headed towards the information broker's terminal. 

Typically, one just paid for the data they desired but Liara was not a typical client providing the usual ventures. Whatever Liara wanted from Nyxeris' files, it was not information that was for sale. Keiji went to work on the keyboard as Kasumi monitored the hacked feeds from the firm in charge of building security. 

''No silent alarms are being triggered anywhere right now. Hurry up and let's get out of here." Kasumi was always cautious but she had a bad feeling and wanted to finish the job, escaping to the safe house as quickly as possible.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

For the first time in more than a century, Liara was distracted, accomplishing nothing the entire day. Her terminal displayed various data comparisons while the individual reads were scattered around her desk. Sitting right in front of the preserved blue rose was a hovercase containing the Prothean orb from Kopis. Unlike the ruins in Thessia and the feeds from Horizon, the orb’s scans were rather typical; providing only confirmation of its origin. However this was a unique piece with a near perfect symmetry and would become part of her permanent collection.

To someone observing the scientist, it would appear that her fascination with the orb was causing her procrastination. In reality, she was still immersed in the events of the prior evening. Liara was considered very young by asari standards and was at the age where maidens were told to explore and experiment. Only when approaching the matron years did asari generally develop a serious relationship and take a bondmate. Liara however, never considered herself to be a typical asari. Shepard was the one for her. 

From the instant she first touched the human’s mind, Liara felt the true essence of Shepard's soul. She possessed the qualities Liara had craved in a partner; honesty, loyalty, and a spark of innocence which had remained untainted by the horrors of her childhood. 

Benezia pushed Liara to follow a certain path that had been chosen before the doctor was even born. In contrast, Shepard tried to be authentic as best she could, never trying to be someone or something she wasn't. The human was committed to being honest with herself and Liara as well.

Sadly, allegiance was something that Liara was familiar with but only because of the minions Benezia controlled across the galaxy. The matriarch’s oldest friends stood by her at every turn because they chose to, because Benezia somehow impressed something positive to warrant such a response. The others who knew Benezia for a short time, only remained loyal out of fear. They treated Liara with manners and respect but their concern was anything but genuine. Their comments and questions dripped with sweetness and yet they seemed to ignore any of Liara’s answers. It was enough that they feigned interest.

Personally, Liara never knew the feeling of someone being loyal to only her. Shiala was at the top of a long list of those who had continually reported every detail of Liara's life to Benezia. Even as a child, the only pet Liara was ever allowed to care for enjoyed Shiala's company as much as her own. 

This all changed once Shepard came into her life. Being loyal was part of who Shepard was. She didn't know how to behave any other way. The escort cemented their ties the moment she refused to be on Benezia's payroll - she stayed because she chose to.

Perhaps most important was the youthful exuberance that seemed to overtake Shepard at moments. With how scarred Liara knew the human was from her childhood, to see some part of Jaye’s soul still unscathed gave Liara hope for herself, hope that one day she could shed the skin of Benezia T'Soni and stand proudly on her own.

The younger asari dealt with a different type of childhood trauma than her lover. She once spent nearly a decade trying to win her mother's affection, disregarding others as her mother regularly did. Liara once hoped that if she gave her mother enough reason to like her, that Benezia would love her again as well. A part of her still felt that way until very recently. Shepard had filled the void in Liara's life. Finally, someone loved her unconditionally. It was Shepard who made her realize that it indeed was time to let go of her mother. Benezia was not worthy of Liara's love and it was time to sever that tie.

Liara's future revolved around only one other, Jaye Shepard. Many considered the asari lifespan a gift regardless of the beliefs they held on how it came to be. Humans unfortunately did not possess the longevity of asari or krogan. Liara would not even reach her matron years before that inevitable time approached. 

There was a flicker of despair in Shepard's mind about her shorter life span, knowing that she had a little more than a century until reaching natural expectancy. But the nature of her profession and danger of the streets taught Shepard to cherish life each day, knowing full well it could all end with one stray bullet. The fear was astounding but had remained tucked in the corner of the human's thoughts. Liara had also contemplated their short future and now the notion festered in her head. 

Liara gazed at the preserved blue rose that was given to her the day she and Shepard first kissed. She felt a twinge of anguish as the realization hit her. The flower would most likely be around long after Shepard was gone. She was going to lose the love of her life long before she was at the age most even took a bondmate. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Samantha had been working diligently to analyze the various data streams Liara had gathered. Technological problem solving always came easy to the assistant from an early age, at least until now. She had run the feeds through every translator available with no definitive results. She just had a few scattered words identified as possibilities. 

And then she noticed Tali staring at the engine. She wasn't using the three dimensional diagram that most engineers utilized to diagnose problems. She was looking at the actual hardware itself, listening to the various sounds, memorizing every nuance. Quarians did not have the luxury of fully stocked markets at their disposal when something needed repair. They often had to make due with scavenged parts and creative modification to keep the flotilla ships flying, let alone all the various subsystems that created comfort. Consequently, Tali applied the technique to this particular ship's engine, studying and learning. 

Samantha adopted this particular approach to her own task. She studied the pattern in the feeds with her own eyes instead of relying on a program. And then she noticed a section in each of the streams from Thessia and Eden Prime. Each segment was distinctly different from the rest. The wavelengths did not match audio or video, it was something else entirely. She immediately tapped her omni, opening a link to her boss.

"Yes, Samantha?" There was an uncharacteristic delay in the time it took for Liara to accept her communication. 

"I have an idea." The assistant was more enthusiastic than she had been in weeks. "And I would like your permission to purchase a few drones to test my theory out." Traynor wanted to prove that she earned not only her salary but the faith Liara placed in her when the doctor refused to accept her resignation. 

Liara's response was immediate. "Certainly, but please take someone with you. Even though Illium is safe, I would feel better if none of us traveled alone."

Samantha had been working hard during combat training and felt confident in her ability to fire a pistol as well as use the engineering mods on her omni. She had yet to use her skills in a real life situation though and secretly hoped she never had to. "Of course. I was going to bring Tali along as I would like her opinion." Bringing a companion had already been decided. Caution was at its peak.

Traynor smiled, a flicker of hope sparkled in her eye. If her instincts were correct, each feed had a VI embedded inside and only required a drone to access it. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After a few holo-calls and an exorbitant amount of credits later, Liara had finally received confirmation that her package was securely wrapped and waiting for delivery. Anything was possible in Illium as long as you could afford it and she could. Eclipse routinely 'rented' out space in their territory for discreet business deals, as long as the price was right and Liara made sure she overpaid for assured anonymity. In order to become wealthy and respected in Nos Astra, one delivered on their promises even if it meant ‘exploring’ the grey areas of the law. Consequently, you received exactly what you paid for.

A few hours prior, an encrypted message reached Liara on her private frequency. Only a select few were given the secret address to utilize for emergency purposes. The communication from Keiji and Kasumi was the first to travel this channel and it prompted immediate action. 

_Information obtained but breach detected. Target attempted to send message to Shadow Broker about our identities. Transmission was never completed. Unsure if other attempts were made. Safe house not compromised. Will be in touch._

Liara’s business contacts, and more importantly her friends needed protection, especially since she had put them in their current tenuous situation.

The asari knew what had to be done and assembled a team. At the insistence of Shepard, Ashley and Jack also accompanied Liara to the drop point. The warehouse was one of many situated at the industrial docks, the majority of which were actually legitimate cargo holding areas. Vast buildings were situated as far as the eyes could see with loading areas overflowing with machinery and crates alike. The main areas were well lit with cameras all around to deter criminal activity. Most businesses hired armed guards for exceptionally valuable inventory, just in case. 

Shepard wore an SMG strapped to her back, while resting her palm on the handle of her trusty Carnifex. The asari had purchased a Phalanx earlier in the day which hung at her side. She hadn't touched a weapon in decades, but quickly remembered the feeling of cold steel gripped in her hand. Both were sporting asari huntress armor, no longer taking safety for granted. Times dictated change and Liara had learned to adapt. Only Ashley wore a heavy set of armor, bringing up the rear with an unarmored Jack at her side. Bodyguards were common on Illium, especially in the seedy areas and neither duo prompted a second look.

The darkened alley off the main walkway was hidden by carefully placed garbage and dumpsters but the map she had purchased along with her package provided the pathway. A few hundred paces led them to an unlocked door which opened into a secluded room adorned with darkened windows. The delivery was waiting, just as Liara had been promised. Nyxeris was unconscious and bound, hanging from a batarian rack attached on the steel wall. It was precisely what she paid for.

No one took the Shadow Broker lightly, not if they wanted to live more than a few days. But this information dealer was barely more than an amateur and too inept to become an agent of someone so secretive and deadly. Liara took a necessary risk - she had to protect her friends from making any more enemies, especially those who could start a war with one sentence. 

Comm links remained opened as Ashley watched the entrance, all four able to listen to all that was going on, but Liara had insisted on silence except in case of emergency. Shepard administered the drug to rouse the asari broker from her slumber and stepped back as Jack tossed a stasis field around every part of her body except her head. Liara stood directly in front of Nyxeris, consuming her line of vision as she stirred from her sleep. 

She struggled as her awareness grew, realizing that she was helpless to do anything but speak. "You!"

Liara sneered. She had watched her mother interrogate servants and dignitaries more times than she could count. This particular serum was of salarian design and specially attuned to the chemical make up of asari. 

"You sent them, of course. I should have known." Her limbs remained still in Jack's field but the muscles straining in Nyxeris' neck showed the precise moments she chose to test her bonds.

"But you are incompetent." Liara created a biotic orb in her hand and balanced it on her fingertips while waiting for the serum to take effect. The salarians were efficient when it came to their chemicals and the information Liara required should begin to flow. "Who did you speak to about your break-in?"

"I don't know what you are referring to." She looked around, as if having an internal battle between her tongue and her will. Her breathing became labored. “What did you give me?”

Liara dissipated the ball of biotics and smiled at her captive, dismissing her question entirely. “Who did you speak to about your break-in?”

The broker could not fight the urge to answer any longer. "I sent only one message, to the Shadow Brokers agent, just one." Her eyes were bulging, straining from the attempts to move any part of her body other than her head. Horror settled into her features with lines forming over her normally smooth skin. She just could not stop from answering any questions.

Liara's face did not betray her relief. The only ones that knew about Keiji and Kasumi's involvement were in her presence. The thieves were safe for the moment.

"Now let me go. I told you what you want." Nyxeris was pleading to be released. She knew how Illium worked, knew how she had treated captives of her own, and knew it was futile. She did not even attempt to deceive her way out of the situation, she knew she was powerless against the truth serum.

"Not quite. Who is your contact?" Liara assumed the same position as Shepard, clasping her hands behind her back, broadening her shoulders.

Nyxeris began to sputter out even more details. Her contact was a drell named Feron, an agent for the Shadow Broker. By ensuring his leads reached Benezia T'Soni, Nyxeris would 'prove' her worth and ability thus gaining favor. She assumed the leads were legitimate as the Shadow Broker was known to never lie. She had originally met the drell in a unrelated information deal. "He was looking for your bodyguard's whereabouts. That was when our relationship began." 

Liara froze before the anger overtook her features. "What did you say?" Each word enunciated completely, a pause between all. 

Nyxeris' breathing increased as she panicked but answered obediently, nodding towards Shepard. "Cerberus was looking her. I told them she was now working for you and where you were headed." Her eyes were pleading. "You have your name, end this now."

Jack made a noise as if about to speak but remained silent. She was visibly seething at the simple mention of Cerberus. 

Liara glanced towards Shepard, concentrating on the newest scar above her love's eyebrow. She remembered her bruised and battered body lying in the hospital bed. Her ribs were broken, her legs were burned, her face was bloody and swollen. Liara was overcome with the exact emotions she had felt sitting at Shepard's bedside. As she turned back to Nyxeris, the fear and despair morphed into an overwhelming rage. "As you wish."

Liara raised her cupped hand in the air and began to slowly squeeze it closed. Her nostrils were flaring as her lip curled into a sneer.

Nyxeris gasped for breath. She couldn't breathe with the biotic strap around her windpipe. She struggled in silence, no air to run across her vocal cords to form a sound. Her eyes drooped as she began to lose consciousness, still floating in stasis.

Liara felt a strong grip around her wrist – Shepard's touch centered Liara back to reality and the asari released her biotics. Horror jolted her system when she realized precisely what she had done and who she was imitating. The first time she had seen Benezia perform this particular action, she was a barely in her teen years. Coincidently enough, it was on a drell who had been found in Benezia’s office, copying files from the matriarch’s terminal. 

Nyxeris drifted out of consciousness as her breathing returned to a normal pattern. 

The broker knew too much and she had to be disposed of. Liara had known it the moment she ordered Nyxeris taken. The doctor took a deep breath and looked at Shepard. "Give her the final injection." Her death would be painless.

Nyxeris’ apartment would be ransacked within in the house by Eclipse. Keiji and Kasumi had already blanketed the location with a special EMP, wiping out every file on the private floor after doing the same at her place of business. 

Luckily for Liara, the ineptitude of the broker’s business dealings created a long list of disgruntled customers with very public grudges. A few well placed bribes would bury her disappearance rather quickly but even if she was missed, there were plenty of names available as possible suspects.

Keiji and Kasumi were safe from the Shadow Broker. No one would know that Liara was any wiser to whatever plot she was wrapped in. And more importantly, Shepard kept her promise to Liara and intervened when she began channeling Benezia. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jack was agitated the entire walk back to the Nos Astra civilian dock. More than once, Liara reminded Jack to lower her voice. Once they reached the ship, Liara asked Shepard to speak with the human biotic about her Cerberus ties, hoping a familiar face would invite Jack to be more forthcoming about her shrouded past. 

Garrus and Tali had been asked to gather as much information about the mysterious group through their various channels. They finally had a name and Liara knew that knowledge was the first step in figuring this puzzle out. Keiji and Kasumi were expected within the hour and hopefully the files they brought would shed even more light on exactly what Cerberus wanted with Liara.

The events of the day also further clarified the path Liara needed to map out for herself and for her future. She had already made the decision to break away from Benezia and now she needed to develop a plan and actually take the first step. With other matters being handled to her satisfaction, Liara sat down to create a list.

Financial preparations must be made. Most of Liara's credits were obtained as part of the 'allowance' she had been receiving for nearly a century. When the younger asari decided to study archeology at the University of Serrice, Benezia punished her defiance by refusing to pay the tuition and appointing Shiala the administrator of all funds, requiring Liara to receive approval for any substantial purchases. She had hoped by stunting Liara's spending habits, it would discourage the student enough to abandon her studies. Benezia was wrong - it only forced Liara to adapt. 

She was allowed small withdrawals without scrutiny and began to slowly funnel credits into a personal account, hidden from Shiala and her mother. This was to be her future for when and if her mother finally reached a breaking point. But after some deep thought, Liara realized that it was still Benezia's money, no matter what name was on the account. 

A warm and familiar feeling came over the doctor as Shepard approached her office. Instinctively she reached out to the rose, feeling the delicate softness of one of the petals on her fingertips.

As the door swished opened, Liara’s eyes trailed to her love, taking in all of her features before smiling. “Will you please close the shutters, love?” She had the sudden urge to hold Shepard, to feel the security of her embrace. As soon as they had their privacy, she closed the short distance between them, wrapping her arms around the human’s ribs while laying her head on her shoulder. 

“Hey, hey.” Shepard held her, one hand running along the ridges on the back of Liara’s head. “What’s going on beautiful? Is it everything that’s been happening? Or something else?”

Liara bit her bottom lip to keep from crying. She had been composed but once she felt safe in the grip of her love, Liara’s emotions erupted. Truth be told it was a little of everything that had piled up. There were tears of joy as well as sadness and anger bubbling from within. But she felt safe and it was exactly what she needed at that moment. “Everything that has been occurring.” She remained silent for an instant before continuing. “Thank you for stopping me earlier.” A sigh of disappointment at herself escaped her lips. “I recalled you lying in the hospital and something just overcame me.”

Shepard stepped back and cupped Liara’s cheeks in her hands, commanding her gaze. “I would’ve probably lost it too if situations were reversed.” She gave Liara a kiss on the forehead before continuing. “But that’s what we have each other for. We’re a team, remember?”

“I do not wish to be a younger version of Benezia. I need to be Liara T’Soni, whoever that may be.” Liara stepped back and was thankful for her empathy. The love and support was pouring from Shepard. The escort never judged Liara, not once. She accepted Liara exactly as she was and it warmed Liara from within. “I would like your input on something.”

They each took a seat and Liara explained her financial situations and possible plans in detail to Shepard. “I need to do this the correct way but I cannot just sever the tie immediately. There are those on this crew that are counting on their paychecks. I made them sign contracts. I need to take that into consideration.” After Liara finished with her list, Shepard placed her elbows on her knees, interlocking her fingers. 

“I would offer to siphon funds from the Blue Suns or Blood Pack but I know you don’t want that.”

“I need to do this my way, Jaye. It is not that I do not appreciate your offer.” Liara smiled. “I know that I can always count on you.” Liara did know, without a shred of doubt in her mind. “I think the best option we have after taking everything into consideration is to begin selling my collection of artifacts. I hate to part with them. As long as I can find a wealthy collector, I should be able to earn enough credits eventually to support the crew and purchase the ship from Benezia.” 

“Museums usually can’t afford to pay fair price, or refuse to. And how many collectors are out there that can?” Shepard knew a little about the few priceless items Liara had. Most of the archeologist’s data was taken from large pieces planet side. Small pieces were rare and practically priceless. But as with anything, they truly were only worth what another was capable of paying. 

Liara shrugged and sighed. “Do you have another suggestion?”

Shepard stared at the floor, eyes focused and then gradually widened as a smile crept over her lips. “I think so. What do you think about … “

The escort’s sentence was interrupted by the beeping of Liara’s alarm followed a few seconds later by the swishing sound of the door. Oriana entered, eyes looking downward as she normally did when entering Liara’s office when the shutters were closed. She had intruded on one too many kisses to not give the couple ample warning when she was outside the door. The action always amused Liara but embarrassed Shepard none the less.

“Sam wants to try something and would like for you both to be present.” Oriana typed something into her omni as both Liara and Shepard stood. “They are waiting in the cargo hold.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The first drone had been loaded up with the VI code from Eden Prime and just needed to be activated to test it out. Samantha had considered verifying if her theory was correct first. But in case it actually did work, Sam did not want to deny Liara the opportunity to be there from the first moment. She risked appearing incompetent, but she hoped Liara would appreciate the gesture if it failed.

A crowd had begun to assemble. Tali ran around the ship to gather anyone she could find, believing in the Traynor’s chance of success. She even managed to convince Joker to delay his trip to the local gentleman’s club. The pilot did mention something about an old reporter and Al Capone’s vault when he showed up in the hold, confusing almost everyone.

Once Liara had arrived, Samantha quickly explained what she was hoping would happen upon activation of the drone. She was reminded of the presentations she had to make at Oxford.

Joker was the first to comment. “So we found Prothy the Prothean VI?”

Samantha along with everyone else, ignored him, and prepared for the moment “Here goes.” She activated the device.

The hum of the drone echoed in the room while everyone watched in silence. The drone turned as if taking in its surroundings and then approached Samantha who was the only one not standing with a group. “You have found me. Who are you?”

“I am Samantha.” Traynor’s eyes lit up – she was grinning from ear to ear. It had worked. “What shall I call you?” She also found it bizarre that this VI from an ancient alien race spoke with an Earth accent.

The drone twisted around and then back to the assistant. “You may call me Javik.” An aura radiated from the drone, causing reactions from most of the crew. 

Shepard, Tali, and Samantha barely flinched. They knew the scan was harmless. The drone could not operate beyond the preloaded capabilities.

Ori and Kaidan flared their biotics as well Jack who added a “What the fuck?!” to the action.

Joker and Gardner turned their heads, shielding their faces.

Ashley and Garrus reached for their weapons and pointed them at the origin of the beam.

Liara strode forward to address the drone. This was a dream for her. This may not be an actual Prothean, but it was a Prothean VI. She did not even attempt to hide her amazement. "I am Liara T'Soni."

The drone cut in immediately, barely allowing time after Liara spoke her name. Once again, it appeared to be looking around. "This is amusing. To discover the most primitive races of my time standing in front of me - the humans, the asari, the turians. Amusing."

Jack was the first to react. "Primitive? Fuck you. You're a drone."

"Yes, primitive." The drone floated closer to Tali, bobbing vertically, as if looking her from head to toe. "Quarian. Interesting. Even the primitive quarians were considered attractive in my age. A pity no one can appreciate it now."

Garrus clicked his mandibles and chuckled. "Some of us can."

"Uhhhh." Tali, for once, was speechless.

Traynor had been watching intently. “I was wrong. It’s not a VI – it’s an AI.”

The drone continued his drivel, still facing the quarian. "It is difficult to trust a species that hides behind masks." Once again, the drone rotated side to side. "No salarians. Do they still eat flies?" Javik's deadpan delivery was acerbic and condescending but for the first time, there were a few laughs and even a hearty guffaw from Jack. 

Liara was too distracted by the history that existed in front of her to notice the humor let alone whether it was intentional or not. "I have written over a dozen studies on your species." She was simply in awe.

"Amusing." Apparently Javik was particularly fond of that word. "Asari have finally mastered writing."

Liara was finally becoming unnerved. "I am sorry?"

Through the entire exchange, Shepard had remained silent. She understood technology enough to know it was harmless in a physical sense but she was _not_ amused by the stream of insults. He was starting to really agitate her. “Turn it off.”

Traynor clicked her terminal and then her omni, nothing happened. “It’s not powering down. I don’t know why.”

Shepard activated her omni-blade. "Sam, do you have this AI program backed up anywhere?" She took a step towards the drone.

"We gave you math." Javik still was facing the scientist.

Liara's jaw dropped, stunned into silence.

"The original is still in the feed from Eden Prime." Traynor tapped furiously, still trying to deactivate the drone. 

"Before that you could only count as high as your toes. We took pity." 

And then Shepard stabbed the done. 

There was a buzz and minor smoking before the power drained and Javik fell to the floor with a clank

Shepard deactivated her omni and chuckled at the destroyed drone. "And yet your species is extinct and the primitive ones are still around."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Keiji and Kasumi provided the datapad containing all of the files they retrieved for Liara as well as a complete rundown of the EMP raid from earlier. All four in the room clearly displayed relief at the outcome to recent events.

"Most clients would have just let us take our chances with the Shadow Broker and claimed it was our mistake that caused our identities to be discovered. So, thank you." Keiji and Kasumi had a long discussion earlier in the day after finding out Liara's plan. Kasumi had advocated complete honesty though Keiji was still being cautious.

"I would like to think we are all friends and I take care of my friends. Besides, I am the one who keeps asking you to take on dangerous assignments." Liara knew the thieves were still holding back information but in their line of work, she could not fault them. At the urging of Shepard, she opened up about the two attempted kidnappings, relaying the urgency for such ventures. "I would not have asked for something so risky if there was not need."

The thieves exchanged a series of looks. Kasumi as usual, allowed Keiji to take the lead but clearly was disagreeing with something. "If there is any way we can help, we will. However, do you believe your mother is involved? Is this why we broke into your house on Thessia?"

Liara explained the connection while the rogues listened, covering all details about Benezia's involvement. Liara asked for their input regarding Feron and Cerberus which they graciously provided. However she still sensed as though they were holding something back. 

"And the bracelet?" Keiji leaned forward in his seat.

This was a frightening moment for Liara. Choosing to trust someone else, even in the slightest was terrifying. When she had spoken to Shepard about the idea earlier, the escort pledged her trust in Keiji and especially Kasumi. It was a small piece of information that was not completely secretive. She had to start somewhere. "I have been searching for the identity of my father. The bracelet is the only solid piece of evidence I have. You two are now the only others that know of my plans." 

She had said it. A large lump formed in her throat, reacting to past betrayals flashing in her minds eye. But Shepard grabbed onto her hand and squeezed. The human may not be empathic but she could sense any moment that Liara needed support and was willing to provide it.

Kasumi no longer communicated with her expressions. She verbally urged her love on. "Tell her, now." 

"Very well." Keiji recounted the night they broke into Liara's estate on Thessia leaving no details out. He confirmed that it was indeed Shiala who had caught them and allowed them to escape. "She could have captured or injured one or both of us. She told us to leave some business ledgers and to give you the bracelet. She knew it was you who sent us and said it was what you wanted."

"May I ask why you did not tell me?" Liara asked her question and then glanced at Shepard. From the corner of her vision, she noticed Jaye was staring off into nothing, once again deep in thought.

"She threatened to tell Benezia that we were responsible for the break-in if we revealed to you that she was involved." Keiji nodded his head quickly to the asari. "In our line of work you must understand how careful we must be. After today, I know you don't take that lightly either."

Liara hid her bewilderment at the news regarding Shiala's involvement. She was not ready to completely open up but was grateful that she learned the truth. She would have time to analyze it after the meeting. Suddenly, Shepard was overcome with a realization and Liara sensed it. As politely as she could, she steered the conversation to a close, anxious to speak to her love privately. Shepard was flowing with excitement the entire time, barely concealing a smile.

The couples said their goodbyes after walking the thieves to the airlock. Once alone in the elevator, Liara did not even have to ask. 

"Tuchanka." Shepard just blurted it out. "Shiala wants us to search Tuchanka."


	29. Chapter 29

Title courtesy of Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 29 – Rivers of Love

A Week Ago ...

Liara was adamant. "I do not trust her. I would wager all of my credits that this is a wild chicken chase."

Shepard maintained her stoic expression but knew her amusement was immediately detected. Human expressions still caused Liara to stumble the same as they did when they first met. The only difference now was that the asari no longer questioned the accuracy of her word choices as of late. Shepard stopped correcting her and instead just basked in how adorable it was. 

"I do not see what is funny about this, Jaye." Liara crossed her arms in front of her, exasperated at the resistance she was facing. Usually her beliefs were more in tune with Shepard's but the duo had been debating Shiala's intentions for nearly an hour. 

The human walked over towards Liara, placing her hands on the asari's shoulders. "I don't think this is funny."

Liara's arms crossed tighter, clearly still agitated from the Shiala discussion. She remained silent.

"It's goose, not chicken."

Liara took a step backwards. "This is serious." She returned to the earlier point she was trying to impress upon Shepard. "She is not attempting to assist me."

The two had been repeating each of their points, both insisting of the validity of their point of view. Shepard tried a new approach, hoping somehow to break the stalemate in her favor. "Then toss the bracelet and we go back to where we were before." 

Liara's logic began to overtake her emotional response. The bracelet was her clue. If she disregarded Shiala's one action, she had to disregard both. And yet she could not completely ignore all she knew about Shiala, about all of the betrayals. "I am not going to Tuchanka. It is unsafe and goddess knows who or where those are now that Benezia met with then. Most krogan do not remain on Tuchanka for any length of time." She tightened her arms against her chest. "With all of the mercenaries, Cerberus may be waiting for us. No."

Shepard sighed. Liara was as stubborn as she was at times. "I'm not saying to head there now. You wanted to head to Kahje next, right?"

"Yes, we are going to Kahje. It is close to Illium space and I contacted the hanar myself to arrange the visit to the underwater shrine and Mount Vasala." Liara lifted her head, wrinkling her nose, assuming the sternest expression she could muster.

"Then just let me look into it on our way there." The escort closed the distance between the two, placing her hands on the asari's hips. "We've ignored that stop so far." 

"That is because I am not part krogan." 

"I thought it doesn't work like that." Shepard smiled. "C’mon, Liara. It can't hurt."

"Fine." She dipped her chin into her chest. "But I am not." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Virmire

She was happy. It was all Miranda ever wanted for her sister, the only thing she worked for once Oriana was 'born'. 

Tank bred. 

Technically they were not born nor did they have a mother. They were genetically engineered in a lab with Henry Lawson using his own DNA as a template. They were to be his legacy, female versions of himself. Miranda was his first experiment. Her growth was accelerated until she was approximately ten year olds - Henry did not want to be bothered with changing diapers or rearing a young child. Instead he began instructing her while she was still 'growing' in the lab, utilizing salarian pre-birth teaching methods designed to maximize learning for their short life span.

As Miranda matured, so did her awareness about her father's true nature and his motives. He wanted to perfect the science of cloning and she was his first failure. She became more defiant, challenging his every move and rebelling in every way possible. It was not long before Henry Lawson became frustrated and decided to repeat the process and began 'growing' another child. There would be no acceleration in the early stages of development; she would be molded from the start.

Oriana was her genetic twin, lab engineered in a similar manner to Miranda but she would have a normal life, the life Miranda never had. She researched the applications of adoption agencies across the galaxy until she settled on the perfect family for her sister. The Ryans’ psychological profiles were nearly flawless and they lived on Illium where Miranda had numerous contacts. It was relatively safe yet would challenge Ori enough to never become complaisant. Miranda could routinely hack into any surveillance camera to monitor Oriana's safety and more importantly, happiness and Illium was blanketed with them.

Miranda finished typing out a status report to her Cerberus contact. The man frustrated her to no end. He wanted her insight on cloning as a possible alternative to creating an army of superior humans. She had repeatedly shot this idea down; even she had her limits. She would continue to develop enhancements for their private army and utilize the willing test subjects in the process. It was their choice – or at least that’s what she told herself. Her work was the price she paid for Oriana’s continued anonymity and her own safety. Crossing Cerberus was something her father was not willing to do even after all these years. 

Unable to access the ship's files on her sister, Miranda relied on the facial recognition software monitoring various planetary hubs. She set up programs to alert her when Oriana was present. She recently spent nearly a week on Illium visiting family and friends as well as the sites of Nos Astra, with her new boyfriend constantly at her side. 

Much could be learned about a person and their motives just by observing their actions. She already had run all the background checks on Kaidan Alenko, learning everything from his history with Jump Zero to his spending habits. He was faithful to everyone he had dated although his banks accounts suggested none of his relationships were very serious until Oriana. Being a handsome man, he attracted attention from males and female alike but he never reacted with anything but polite refusal. From everything Miranda could learn, her sister's boyfriend was genuinely a 'good guy'.

On the first day of their recent Illium visit, Kaidan purchased a ring. It was a simple yet elegant design with a winding band dotted with diamonds and sapphires, like flowers blooming from a stem and it was a one of a kind piece that she would have chosen for herself. The man clearly had impeccable taste. 

Kaidan reserved a private balcony in one of Nos Astra’s premiere restaurants for breakfast. They enjoyed a specially prepared meal while the sun was rising over the mountain tops. He even provided ambience by streaming Oriana’s favorite piece – Adagio’s movement of Nielsen’s Fifth. The entire moment was created for her. When the morning sun climbed over the peaks, Kaidan then took her hand, dropped to his knee, and presented her with the ring. 

Miranda watched the vid footage over and over of that moment. The look on her face was all Miranda needed to know, Oriana was truly happy. 

The sacrifices she made, the ties she cut, the deals with Cerberus were all worth it. Her sister was living the life she never could.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Omega

Arrangements were made with Aria for anonymity at the cost of a few secure account transactions on Shepard's part. The ship sat in a private dock utilized for Aria and a select few discreet associates. 

Samantha's work with the VI from Thessia had been frustrating to both the specialist and Liara. Unlike the Javik AI, the feed from Thessia contained a simple VI interface that was largely incomplete. It only responded to specific questions with limited answers, replying with 'unknown' or 'incomplete data available' to most queries. Samantha believed that the VI was one part of a previously networked system but had nothing more than a theory to go on. 

Javik had been uploaded to another drone in the hopes of learning what they were unable to from the VI. He refused to cooperate with 'primitives' and once again, had to be powered down in a physical manner. Liara gave her permission to purchase more drones on Omega but Traynor was unsure if she was grateful or not. Dealing with Javik was more even more frustrating than her lack of progress with the VI. Javik most likely had answers but considered everyone else too stupid to understand - he was not going to bother to explain. At least it gave Samantha practice using overload each time she made another attempt. Javik the drone was unaware of how often he had been resurrected.

Samantha instead concentrated her efforts in understanding the latest scans from the hanar home world. She hoped to make some sort of progress and perhaps filling in some missing pieces as well. The Kahje readings were unique and did not contain the coding similar to those they already discovered. Samantha was not even sure if it was all part of the same puzzle she was trying to piece together. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ashley Williams didn’t plan on returning to Omega any time soon, let alone Afterlife. Being followed around for a day by one of Aria’s armed henchmen had that effect on someone. _‘We always keep an eye on anyone from Shepard’s past’_ was all he kept saying. No verbal threats were made, none were needed either. Now that she was in Shepard’s company, she hoped Aria would leave her alone. 

Being back with her friend was better than she could have imagined. In the years during Ashley's lockup, her sisters grew up and created their own lives. She was lost when she was finally released. Now Ashley had a focus and could make up for missed time with her best friend. “You been back to Earth at all?” 

Shepard was leaning against the airlock while the two waited on Liara and Jack. “Nah. When I left I never looked back.”

“You don’t even miss home at all?” Ashley missed her sisters who were all still back on Earth and she missed the lake.

“It was never home to me. It was some place I was stuck.” Shepard looked over through the window at Liara and then smiled. “No, _she’s_ home now. The only real one I ever had.”

Seeing her friend glow with such a genuine expression of happiness warmed her heart. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that, Shep. To see you like this. You isolated yourself so much.”

“I had you and your sisters.” The younger human spent holidays with Ashley and became part of their family. But there was always a part of Shepard that she kept to herself. She always held something back out of fear. “But I was a scared kid, Ash. Still am in some ways.” She blinked a few times, her smile morphing into something a little more somber. 

“Do you still have the nightmares?” While Ashley was nursing Shepard back to health, Shepard used to wake nightly screaming in some indistinguishable language. She would never talk about the details but Ashley knew the dreams were about her drug induced black out. 

“Not much anymore, in fact not at all for weeks.” Shepard gulped in an attempt to choke the tears back that were beginning to coat her eyes. 

“Did you at least talk to Liara about that time?”

“She knows it happened, she knows all I know.” Shepard turned and looked directly as Ashley. “But no, I don’t talk about it, _ever._ ”

“She can probably help you remember, with those melds asari can do. She would be the best one since you trust her already.”

Shepard's response was hasty. “No. I don’t want to know and I certainly don’t want her to see what I could've done.” She shook her head. “And it usually doesn’t bother me much.”

“Much?”

“No!” Shepard crossed her arms in front of her.

“I know the way you think. Anything you have already imagined is probably worse than what actually happened.” Ashley lightly shoved her friend’s shoulder, hoping to break the mood. “C’mon on Jaye, if she loves you half as much as you told me does, then you just need to let her.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Shepard, my friend!" Wrex chugged over and grasped Shepard's hand in a hardy shake. He was a typical krogan sporting blood-red armor and a scar in the shape of a claw mark down the right side of his face. 

Wrex was a bounty hunter that Aria hired from time to time over the years. He and Shepard had worked a few jobs together and the krogan took an immediate liking to the human. She was fearless and her snarky comments made the krogan battlemaster laugh. Currently, he was on security detail for Aria, guarding some feeble excuse for a krogan. 

"Shepard... " Patriarch nodded at the Shepard and then looked towards her companions. "Dr. T'Soni, ladies."

This job was one of the easier Wrex had taken on but he never said no to Aria or her credits. She always paid generously and was reliable. It still amazed him after centuries how so many tried to avoid paying for services rendered. The battlemaster always received payment one way or another but dealing with Aria required less effort, even if it was less amusing.

He noticed an asari still standing in the doorway flanked on either side by two humans who couldn't look any more different from each other. One was tall and dressed like a soldier while the other wore no armor but had a glimmer of fearlessness in her eyes while randomly flaring her biotics. The doctor wore armor and a pistol but did not appear to be the hardened warrior that the others were. Then again, underestimating an asari was a mistake he hadn't made since Aleena.

Shepard nodded towards Aria's 'associate', before looking her old friend in the eye. "You too, Wrex. If I promise to leave these two outside the door here, can I borrow you for five minutes? I have a room next door." 

Wrex accompanied Shepard and the asari to a different private room in the lower section of Afterlife, realizing the compliment his friend was paying him by offering two armed guards to do the same job as the battlemaster. Shepard always knew to treat Wrex with respect - it was one of other reasons he agreed to meet with her at all. Bounty Hunters rarely provided favors, but Wrex figured Shepard was owed at least a few for saving his life.

When the three safely entered the room and Shepard formally introduced everyone. The asari was polite as was expected and Shepard was clearly fond of her. This favor was asked for more than just business reasons.

Liara tossed up a biotic bubble, shielding their voices from being overheard. 

It was an old trick Aleena had used from time to time and even Wrex had borrowed the trick over the years. "What's with all the secrecy?" Experience taught him that asari were always cautious but this one was bordering on paranoia.

Shepard sat down on the lounger with Wrex taking a seat across from the human. "There was a Crush about 109 years ago. You were there, weren't you?" 

"Still hacking into everything, eh Shepard?" The krogan chuckled which scratching his head.

The human stretched out her arms and cracked her knuckles nonchalantly. "Krogan aren't known for their firewalls."

The battlemaster chortled. "Yeah, I was there. What of it?" Wrex rarely talked about Tuchanka or his frustration with the clan fighting. He had other ideas for the path his people should follow however his ideas were considered too 'soft' for krogan ways. 

Once Shepard mentioned the asari envoy, Wrex grumbled and began to laugh. 

“Of course I remember. The asari always seem to show up at any major events ... talking.” He spat out the final word as if it were poison, thinking of the endless speeches and then quickly looked towards Liara. “No offense. Any friend of Shepard’s is a friend of mine.”

Liara smiled and nodded her head. “Of course, none taken." She seemed to still be tentative but visibly enthused by his revelation. "Do you remember anything in particular about Matriarch Benezia or who specifically she met with?”

Wrex went through a list of the different meetings she had, first with the male clans and then the female. His memory was particularly detailed about certain events. He was planning for the time when he would finally unite his people. "She wanted to keep peaceful relations to ensure we remained on good terms with Thessia. She also spoke to a group of asari that were present with their mates. It was some sort of religious thing." He made a noise again, something between a grunt and a laugh. "Had some priestess with her too. Pushing some temple or something." 

Wrex watched as Liara listened intently but noticed she seemed somewhat disappointed at the information. Most krogan wouldn't bother remembering anything if it didn't involve a fight.

"I do not suppose you remember any other members of her entourage? Perhaps someone named 'Thy'?" The care at which she spoke the last word was apparent.

"Aethyta?" Wrex smiled as much as a krogan could. "Yeah, we caught up on old times. She ended up staying on Tuchanka for a while, didn't leave with the rest of them. That damn asari can drink ryncol with the best of us. Drank most of us under the table every night!" he remembered fondly.

Liara was attempting to remain calm, unsuccessfully to Wrex's amusement. "And perhaps do you know where she is now? Or can you tell me anything else about her? I would like to find her." 

Wrex sat back and gave one final assessment of the asari. She was important to Shepard and therefore worthy of his honesty. "Last I saw her, she was tending bar on the Citadel. She’d shame anyone stupid enough to drink with her, just like my uncle. Took after him."

Liara tilted her head to the side. "Your ... uncle? I do not understand." 

Wrex knew she really did understand but was shocked at his revelation. "Her father was my uncle. Hooked up with an asari before the rebellion and they had Aethyta. She may be asari, but she's got more than a little krogan in her." He smirked as he realized the double meaning in his words, but the asari did not look amused.

She masked her shock with politeness. "Thank you, Wrex. I appreciate the information." When Shepard stood and held onto Liara's hand, it had a calming effect on the asari.

The krogan began to wonder. Aethyta did have a reputation and a few kids scattered around. "When you find her, tell her she still owes me a bottle." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

If the Admirals could only see her now. When Tali'Zorah left on her pilgrimage, she would never have imagined where she was now, let alone the company she was keeping. 

The ships on the flotilla were cramped and crowded. Privacy was a luxury even for the daughter of a member of the admiralty board. Every quarian on a ship knew each other and every little detail that was going on in their lives. There was no such thing as a secret or personal space. Consequently, some quarians had trouble dealing with these living conditions.

As a child, Tali's closest friend was Veetor. The two met one day when Tali was looking over one of the compressors and found him hiding in an air duct. She had seen him in school from time to time but most days he would not even show up for class. Veetor did not just hate crowds, he was _petrified_ of them. A quarian with social anxiety had a difficult life.

Tali and Veetor became instant friends, sharing their affinity for machinery. She tried to introduce him to others, get him to be comfortable in the ever present crowds. As Veetor got older, his anxiety turned to paranoia. He thought everyone was talking about him and laughing at him behind his back. He withdrew even further while counting the days until he could leave on his pilgrimage. 

The day he left was the last time Tali heard from him. He disappeared and three months later, his remains were returned to his mother. Veetor traveled to a small colony named Freedom's Progress and crumbled under the weight of his paranoia, attacking the colony during a neurotic fit. Tali mourned him every since.

In some ways, Jack reminded Tali of her old friend. Jack didn't like crowds and to call her anti-social would be an understatement. The circumstances of their meeting connected Jack to Tali and the two became immediate friends. 

Jack hung out in engineering while Tali tinkered with whatever caught her attention for that moment. Soon they began to learn from each other. Tali fixed things while Jack's specialty was destruction. The two of them were able to develop many improvements through their collaboration. They were 'Team Carnage'.

The duo was headed towards the market near Afterlife in the search of some new drones for Sam to 'practice' her combat skills on. They glanced over at the food kiosk and after taking one whiff, Jack made a face. "Who the hell eats that shit?"

A human was sitting at the stool with a mostly eaten plate of ... something in front of him. "Ladies, fancy meeting you here." He spun around on his stool. 

Tali glanced at the dark skinned human and then over to Jack. She had no idea who he was.

Apparently neither did Jack. "Do I know you?"

He flexed his biceps under his skin tight shirt. "Both of you do. I'm Jacob, Jacob Taylor." The human's voice was deep but presumptuous. He sounded as if he was on some late night radio broadcast that had gone horribly wrong.

"I'm sorry. I think you're mistaken. I don't know who you are." Tali was trying to be polite, wanting to continue shopping and get away from him as soon as possible.

"Sure you do." He sat down on the bench and leaned back again flexing his biceps and obviously thinking he was being impressive.

Tali and Jack looked at each other before looking at him and laughing. 

"Keep it in your pants, muscle head." Jack grabbed Tali by her arm and led her deeper into the markets. "What an annoying fuck. I have no idea who he is."

"Neither do I." Tali shook her head and headed to the lower market kiosks. "We need to find those drones. A few vendors up here have them in stock but let’s check the others for a better price." 

They visited various merchants before approaching a small kiosk run by a quarian. After looking over his prices, Tali wondered how he made any credits at all. "Why are your prices so high? You can't compete with everyone else like this."

Kenn's sadness was apparent in his voice as well as his youth. Tali assumed he was younger than even her. He glanced first at Jack and then to his fellow quarian. "Harrot made me promise not to undercut him." 

"You mean that elcor up there?" Jack jumped right in. "Tell him to fuck off." Her solution to everything usually involved the word 'fuck'.

"I can't. He was here first." Kenn bent down and picked up an omni from the ground. "And no one will buy from me when he's so much cheaper. I'm just trying to save enough money for a ticket off the station. As soon as I empty my inventory, I can leave and continue my pilgrimage."

Tali asked Kenn a few questions about his situation while Jack listened in. She contemplated hacking into Harrot's terminal overnight and implanting a virus, causing him to shut down to give Kenn a few days with no competition. Tali was shocked when Jack offered a different solution. 

"Let me go talk to Harrot. I'll get him to ease the fuck up." Jack quickly flared her biotics and then turned to her friend. "C'mon Tali-nator." 

Tali looked across the counter at Kenn. "We'll be back." 

The two walked up the ramp towards the other merchant, relieved the mysterious human has disappeared from the makeshift diner. Jack strode over to the elcor with a sense of determination and lowered her chin. 

"With sincere joviality: Welcome back, human, quarian. What can I get for you?" Elcor speech patterns and were slow and deliberate, exuding politeness.

Jack on the other hand, was anything but polite. "What is your arrangement with the quarian over there?" 

As the merchant began to explain, Jack interrupted the moment he mentioned a 'business agreement'.

"How about we make a business agreement? You buy out his kiosk and take over his inventory and I don't beat the shit out of you. Sound good?" Jack put a pistol down on the counter and twisted it until the barrel pointed at the elcor. 

"Intrigued: I have not considered that before." The lines around Harrot's eyes tensed. "Devilishly excited. I have plans to expand." 

"That's what I thought." As quickly as the pistol appeared, it was returned back to the holster. "If his kiosk is still open tomorrow, we'll talk again." Jack turned around to walk away.

Tali stared into the elcor’s eyes and pointed her finger in his face. “Or if I hear you’ve hurt him … _I’ll_ be back.” 

Jack paused and let out a hearty laugh while allowing the quarian to catch up. 

The two continued through the market maze when Tali stopped Jack as they turned a corner. "Not that I don't appreciate you helping a fellow quarian out, but can I ask why?"

"I don't like when kids are bullied." Jack was short and to the point, clear that she didn't want to talk about it further. 

Kenn was still working on an omni-tool when they returned. When Jack explained Harrot's buyout, Kenn could hardly contain his excitement. He placed the omni on the counter between them. "It belonged to a vorcha. The omni itself isn't salvageable but there's a mod on there that is. Take it as thanks. I hope you can find some use with it."

Tali picked up the omni and ran a scan. "Is this a flamer mod?" She began to chuckle. "Oh Jack, you're going to love this." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There was not a speck of dust in the apartment. It was spotless and did not appear like the resident had been gone for months. "I did not expect it to be so clean." Liara had accompanied Shepard to her Omega residence after their meeting. Shepard wanted to make one final sweep before surrendering the sought after dwelling. 

"I pay a kid to keep it clean. She stays off drugs and I promised her a job with steady pay." Shepard began rifling through some drawers in her kitchen. 

From a glance, Liara saw no personal touches of any kind in the apartment. The walls were bare and the counters held nothing but basic necessities like a clock or dishes. With the lack of adornments in Shepard's room on the ship, Liara just assumed most had been left on Omega. She was wrong. "It does not look like there is much to remove. You were very thorough when you moved out and joined me."

Shepard turned around and smiled before heading towards the bedroom. "I was hoping that I wouldn't live here ever again." She began inspecting each dresser drawer to ensure they were empty. "I've got the kid a job cleaning for a few of my neighbors. And once we are done here, then I am officially no longer a resident of Omega."

Liara sat down on the bed and thought about their earlier conversation. She was still trying to process all that Wrex had said. She had built up an image of who her father was and from what Wrex and Shepard relayed about Aethyta, she was anything but. 

Shepard shared the memory of the discussion she had with Aethyta during their disagreement. Was Benezia embarrassed of her former bond mate? Was that the reason Liara was never told of her identity? She may not display the grace or elegance of most asari, but Liara saw the reason both Wrex and Shepard were fond of Aethyta in the meld. Benezia may be more of an aristocrat than Liara originally believed.

But it was still an adjustment to make, if indeed this was her father. 

"Hey Liara? Are you listening to me?" Shepard walked over to the bed and sat down next to her love.

"I am sorry. I was thinking about what Wrex said earlier." She reached her hand out to Shepard, yearning to feel the comfort of the human's touch. "It is a lot to process."

"Don't get your hopes up, beautiful. We don't know anything for sure." Shepard squeezed her hand and smiled.

"I am trying not to." There was so much love in Shepard's eyes. Liara could not fathom how fortunate she was to have someone to share this moment with. 

"I take it we're headed to the Citadel next, right?"

Liara sat in silence. She had been contemplating that exact question since they left Afterlife. She was closer than she ever was and now that her father's identity may be in her grasp, she was hesitating. Back when Liara first told Shepard of her plan, the human had asked her one question. _'Are you sure you want to know?'_ and Liara had answered with a _'yes'._ Now, she was unsure. "That would be the logical step."

"But ..."

"I have been asking this question for nearly 100 years. I have never been this close to an answer. I do not know what is more frightening - finding out my childhood fantasies were incorrect or being this close only to fail once again." 

Shepard laid back and yanked Liara down with her. Both stared through the ceiling shutters into the asteroid belt, fingers interlocked. "Nothing changes for the worse either way. You're still you. Who your father is or isn't won't change that."

Liara smiled. Shepard always knew exactly what to say to make her feel better. "And I have you. The rest is just icing on the cupcake."

The rocks floated and tumbled around Omega but in an orbit. There was order within the chaos of the asteroid belt. Shepard was the order that counteracted the chaos residing within Liara. And she knew she had the same effect on the human. She sensed Shepard had something else on her mind. "What is it, love?"

Shepard sat up and craned her head around. "I was just thinking. Since neither of us have a place of our own, maybe we can get an apartment on Illium or something. You know, together."

Liara sat up and placed her hand on the human's shoulder.

"I mean, I know we have the ship but it'd be nice if we had somewhere that was just ours." Even through her confidence and the assurance provided in the melds, Shepard still displayed the ultimate care and innocence at times, never taking Liara or her feelings for granted. 

"I would like that."

Shepard leaned in and kissed Liara tenderly, her lips quickly turning into an uncontrollable smile before she pulled away. She couldn’t contain her excitement.

"I love you, Jaye."

"I love you too, Liara."


	30. Chapter 30

Title courtesy of Carolina Liar

Chapter 30 – Show Me What I’m Looking For

Almost Citadel Space

There were still a few hours before the ship docked at the Citadel as Shepard stirred from a peaceful sleep. She didn't remember dreaming and felt rested but an unsettling feeling had come over her, causing her to wake. 

Liara was on her back with her one arm above her head and the other dangling off the side of the bed. The blanket was resting across their thighs as was its usual placement in the mornings. Somehow it always managed to get pushed down as they slept.

Shepard loved to watch the asari slumber. The way her face twitched, how deep her breathing became at times, and sometimes the smile that crept across her lips was fascinating to Shepard. In fact there was nothing about Liara that was not enthralling, she thought as her eyes drifted downward. 

But Shepard could not shake the feeling that something was wrong, a feeling deep her gut that would not go away. She was tempted to snuggle close, wrapping Liara into an embrace. Not wanting to rouse her love, instead she chose to lie on her side and just observe, hoping the feeling would pass. 

Liara's forehead began to wrinkle as a whimper escaped her throat. She was usually a very quiet sleeper, even when dreaming. Goosebumps formed on her textured skin prompting Shepard to pull the blanket up, covering both of their shoulders. She could no longer ignore her senses and curled up next to Liara, resting her head on the asari's shoulder and draping her arm across Liara's stomach, lightly squeezing.

"Jaye ..." Her voice was enchanting even when raspy. Another whimper escaped her lip as she pulled Shepard in closer. "I ... what a dream." 

As Liara woke, Shepard began to feel relieved that they were together, sharing the moment. "I thought you were having a nightmare, that's why I cuddled up. I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, I am thankful that you did." Shepard felt a kiss on the top of her head before Liara pulled her in even tighter. "I am glad you are with me. The dream seemed so real." 

"What was it about?" 

Liara laid in silence for a moment before she began to quiver. "Benezia, Aethyta, and something that happened in my childhood." She swallowed hard making a noticeable gulp. "I do not remember everything, only parts." 

Shepard could feel the despair as well as regret from Liara's words. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" She placed a kiss her on chest. "I'm here for you." 

"I am feeling very ..." Liara paused, not quite sure how to put her feelings into words.

Jaye knew exactly what she wanted to say. "... insecure?" They were beginning to finish each others sentences more and more lately. 

"Yes. Am I that transparent?"

"Only to me." Shepard let Liara feel the invitation to join their minds, wanting nothing more than to envelop the asari in protectiveness. To Shepard's surprise, the meld was shallow, not even deep enough for communication. "What's wrong?" 

Liara remained silent.

 _"Don't be afraid. I could never stop loving you for any reason."_ Shepard did her best to reassure Liara through the bond and physically with loving caresses along her hips. Finally their meld deepened and Shepard was pummeled with devastating fear. _'Hey, I've never felt you like this. It was just a dream. Show me.'_

_Liara was sitting in the middle of a small room with white walls and a white floor. Jaye recognised the figure standing to Liara’s right as her ex-employer, face twisted in anger._

_“How do you expect to earn respect like that? You are pitiful! Weak!”_

_On Liara’s other side stood the egregious bartender, a look of horror on her face._

_“By the Goddess, you’re a monster!”_

_Liara dipped her head into her hands, as both leaned in to either side of her._

_“Disappointment!”_

_Their voices twisted together into a horrific roar, before both turned and walked away, leaving Liara alone._

_'What were they talking about?'_ Shepard knew Liara was holding something back. She could see a childhood memory on the forefront of Liara's mind yet clouded. _'I'm not them. I'm not leaving you, ever.'_ Liara’s apprehension was overwhelming as the memory came into focus.

Liara was much younger and sitting in a dorm room. Another asari was caught in a stasis bubble, floating helplessly. In between them was a table with what appeared to be a piece of fruit sitting on top. 

Pointing a single finger, Liara began to peel the fruit with her biotics. She made precision cuts like a surgeon, razor thin slices that were deep enough for the peel yet never punctured the fruit’s flesh. 

The other asari was unimpressed. _'Parlor tricks? You brought me here to watch your little show? You're as pathetic as your pureblood friend.'_

Shepard felt a rush of shame and tightened her grip, reassuring Liara that she was in a safe place.

_'It's amazing how your skin is similar to the peel of this simple piece of fruit.'_

Liara face morphed into something Shepard had only seen once before: when she was choking Nyxeris. 

_'If I hear so much as a whisper that you spoke that disgusting word again, I will show you how exactly how similar they are and flay you with my mind.'_

The vision faded and Liara waited for Shepard's reaction, fearing she finally reached a point where Shepard would judge her, just like everyone else. It didn't happen. 

Jaye rolled on top of Liara wanting to touch as much of her skin as possible, surrounding Liara with her own protective blanket of comfort. _'We all do things that seem like a good idea at the time.'_

_'What if I ended up really flaying someone? What if I did that back on Illium? What would you say then?'_

_'We're a team. If it happened, we would have done it together and for a reason.’_ Shepard narrowed her gaze, trying to convey the absolute sincerity in her words. _‘I love you, all that you are. I want you to believe that.'_

 _'I do, Jaye. The dream was just ... so real.'_ Liara's fears were lessening with each caress and wave of love overtaking her. 

As always, there was nothing but acceptance from Shepard. 

_'I am just petrified of being rejected again by my father, by Aethyta. Why would she not come to me before this? I would be relatively easy to find. I can understand when I was a child, but not now.'_

_'If ... '_ she accentuated the first word. Shepard wanted to keep Liara's optimism in check, trying to shield her from a shattering disappointment. _'... she is your father, you can ask her that and more.'_ Shepard reached out caressing Liara's cheek with her fingertips. _'And if she won't answer, then she can go fuck herself.'_ A reassuring smile formed on Shepard's lips. _'Either way, I'm here. Life will go on and we'll still get our apartment and spend hours picking out furniture. Nothing else will change.'_

Shepard felt Liara's hand thread in her hair, bringing their lips closer until she could feel Liara’s breath. She looked so vulnerable, yet so wanting.

 _'I need … I need to lose myself in you, in us. Jaye, please.'_ Liara started to plead but soon realized that it was unnecessary. 

Shepard's mouth hungrily attacked Liara's. Their minds and bodies no longer required time adjusting to each other within in their complete join, it was now automatic. Shepard gave Liara exactly what she wanted, what she needed. The right amount of urgency danced within the absolute love and acceptance displayed through each caress of the hand and lips. 

_'I love you'._ They spoke with only one voice. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Citadel

"What can I get ya?" Bartending was the life, for at least now. She was probably the only asari matriarch in the universe in this profession and one of the few bartenders that could mix any concoction from memory no matter which planet the drink originated from. 

Aethyta spent too many centuries trying to be serious. It was well over 100 years since she was part of the esteemed matriarch council. She deserved a break from the politics. She needed a break from the matriarchs, one in particular.

"How about an azure's kiss?" The human cocked his neck side to side as he raised his eyebrows. If she didn't know better, she would swear his shirt had been painted on. It was tighter than some of the outfits worn in Chora's Den. "Then maybe I can return the favor to you." 

"Heh!" Aethyta gave a half hearted laugh through her groan. A constant stream of new people was what attracted her to bartending in the first place. She could get laid as often as she wanted. There were always willing partners to be found. This one was certainly willing but she wasn’t.

"I'm Jacob, remember me?" 

Her forehead wrinkled as she looked down her nose. She had no recollection of this man. 

“I was in here yesterday.”

She still did not remember him but this particular human clearly thought he was Athame's gift to the universe. Aethyta was confident that the only action he ever got was when he paid for it, and not even then if the girl has an ounce of self-respect.

"I'm not interested." She had slept with most species: asari, humans, salarians, volus, and even hanar. Tentacles were more attractive than his pecks. Hell, even a vorcha's toothy grin seemed less painful than fucking this guy.

Turning around, Aethyta ignored his next line and walked to the back, looking for stock and some space from her patron. Once the monitor showed the creepy human leave, she scooped up a few bottles of liquor and headed to the front. 

There was a name and a commlink left scribbled on a napkin that was quickly tossed into the incinerator chute. Aethyta took pride in her job and made sure ample stock of brandy was readily available for later on when one of her usual customers, a doctor from Huerta, showed up for her daily glass.

The Commons was unusually quiet for this time of day, allowing Aethyta to lean against the back wall. A big grin overtook the bartender’s face. _I should be Consort. I bet I give better advice on how to laid than Sha’ira does_. A familiar couple was approaching with their hands intertwined. The human was cute and young even by human standards. Even though Aethyta offered her a tryst, the human turned her down twice. She was obviously smitten with the asari by her side. The maiden with her was also cute and had a set of tits that were _fantastic_. She could understand the attraction on both sides. 

"Shepard, isn't it?" Aethyta wiped the bar in front of the two stools the couple sat down upon. Their hands never broke contact. "I see you took my advice." As her eyes trailed over to the asari, she noticed the maiden nibbling nervously on her bottom lip. "You going to introduce me to your girlfriend?"

They exchanged a quick glance before the asari nodded Shepard's way, taking a deep breath. "This is Liara ... Liara _T'Soni_." 

T'Soni. It was the first time she heard that name actually spoken in more than a century. Everyone just referred to Nezzy as Matriarch Benezia, not that her name was even mentioned by the few who knew of their past. And this was her - she named her, Liara. 

Liara raised her head and donned an innocent but dignified smile. She certainly had her mother's demeanor. "We were wondering if you had some time to talk." 

Aethyta couldn't take her eyes away from the maiden. The freckled markings on Liara's face were reminiscent of the ones covering Nezzy's breasts. _It's a good thing I didn't ask them for a three-some._ This was certainly not what Aethyta expected when she came to work today.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard had been waiting at the airlock, ready to escort the matriarch to their private lounging area when she arrived. They were currently making their way to the room. 

As long as she could remember, she dreamt of this moment. There were two doors in front of her, each with a different path trailing off on the other side. Was Aethyta her father? So many questions branched out from this simple yes or no answer. There was truly nothing simple about it.

Liara had never remembered feeling this anxious about something in her long life. The journey had taken so long with twists and turns all met with endless disappointments. Would she get her answer today? Finding out that Aethyta was her father would provide closure to the mystery but create even more questions at the same time. 

She analyzed the look on Aethyta's face when Shepard first said her name. The bartender was visibly shocked. Her eyes focused on Liara, the corner of her lips curling upward into a barely noticeable smile. _'Sure kid. I get off in a few hours.'_ The matriarch's eyes cut right through Liara, rarely glancing elsewhere even when Shepard was setting up the meeting. 

Liara did not speak but one sentence the entire time. She could not find the words to make small talk. The middle of Apollo's Cafe was not the place for all she wanted to say. As they were about to leave, Aethyta looked at Shepard quickly after finally breaking her examination of the younger asari. She grinned and nodded her head back towards Liara. _'Hey kid. You got great taste. She's cute.'_

Aethyta _had_ to be her father. Liara had fought the urge to believe she finally found the one. Shepard had been tempering the idea all along and the normally cautious Liara kept her feelings under control until earlier. 

She instead began to believe this indeed was the end to her journey. Aethyta's reaction, the way she looked at her with familiarity, it was difficult for Liara to not be more than just optimistic.

Remembering the earlier comment, Liara once again shuddered at the thought of her father propositioning her girlfriend. Aethyta was crass and outspoken, her krogan heritage on display as much as asari. It was no wonder Benezia wanted to keep her secret; she did not fit in her mother's mold of proper behavior.

Liara felt her chest begin to tighten seemingly causing her breathing to become labored. One of Shepard's hoodies served as a towel to dry her sweaty palms before she tossed it into the closet, closing the door to hide the dirty laundry.

Should she be standing when they entered? Or should she be casually seated and then stand to greet her? How does she begin? Should she make small talk? Or just immediately approach the topic? _Relax._ Liara willed her breathing to a normal pattern as she paced around the room. This was a life changing moment. 

She stopped and turned to face the door as the familiar presence of Shepard signaled imminent arrival. Sensing the love and support from her lover gave Liara courage. She smiled and steeled her nerves. _No matter what happens, I still have Jaye._

The door slid open to reveal Aethyta standing next to Shepard – the escort had a stunned look on her face. “If you ask me, she looks better with the broken nose. Gave her some character.” Aethyta stopped when she noticed Liara standing in front of her. “What a coincidence, eh kid? Sam working for you and all.”

Liara shook her head, completely missing the implications of what was just said. She was too focused, too nervous to concentrate on anything else. “Thank you for agreeing to talk with me.” She could not keep her eyes from Aethyta, her brown eyes, her small stature. With her krogan heritage, Liara expected someone more physically imposing but instead it was her personality that was larger than life. 

Shepard looked towards Liara, an unspoken question in her eyes. 

“Jaye, please stay.” Liara’s hand motioned towards the divan, inviting Aethyta to make herself comfortable. She was relying on manners to guide her, still quite unsure how to approach the topic. 

The matriarch sat down with Liara and Shepard sitting across. Shepard’s grabbed Liara’s hand in both of hers, willing all of her love and support towards the younger asari. 

Aethyta finally broke the silence. “I guess you want to talk to me about your mother.”

“Yes. I would like to know about your relationship with Benezia.” Liara decided that an indirect approach would be better. She did not want to seem imposing, as ridiculous as it would sound to impose upon one’s father. 

She looked around. “You got anything to drink? I could use one and so could you kid. You need to relax.” 

Shepard quickly retrieved a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy and poured a glass for Liara and Aethyta before grabbing a bottle of water and resuming her place at Liara’s side. 

Aethyta continued on. “Yeah … well … I’m surprised she told you about us at all. Not many knew and the few that did …” She downed the glass and quickly refilled her own, pushing Liara’s forward. “… don’t talk about it.” 

Liara reached into her pocket and pulled out the bracelet. She looked over at Aethyta who scrunched her nose at the sight as she placed it on the table. “She did not tell me. I found this and tracked you down.”

“Heh. I thought she’d have thrown the damn thing away with how our last discussion went.” She leaned back with a tone of impatience steadily creeping into her voice. “Out with it, kid. Ask your question.”

She felt the squeeze on her hand. Her heart began to race once again. She had been biting on the inside of her cheek apparently and finally broke skin. The taste of blood was fresh in her mouth mixing with the sudden surge of saliva pooling at the back of her throat. She swallowed hard. Over 100 years of asking the question over and over and now Liara struggled to form the words. 

“Are you my father?”

It was barely a whisper. She inhaled deeply, not realizing she was holding her breath in anticipation of what was to follow. The answer, the confirmation led to so many more questions. Why did you stay away? What is wrong with me that you never came to me? Her eyes began to fill with tears. The silence was deafening.

She felt it, the surge of love from Shepard as strong as ever, channeling everything into supporting Liara at this pivotal moment. 

“You mean you don’t know?” The matriarch leaned forward, tilting her head in confusion.

Liara released her breath. “No, I do not know who my father is. She would never tell me.” And then she began to gasp for air. The implications of Aethyta’s question were too overwhelming.

“Athame’s ass! What’s _wrong_ with Nezzy?” Anger started to bleed into Aethyta’s eyes. 

Liara’s heart crept into her throat. Her stomach sank into the pit of her gut. If not for Shepard holding on her hand, she would have lost control. She knew what was about to follow and she _dreaded_ it.

“Sorry, kid, I’m not. I would’ve made damn sure I was around the last 108 years if I was.” Aethyta’s eyes looked right into Liara’s. “I wanted the job - she wouldn’t allow it.”


	31. Chapter 31

Title courtesy of Heart.

What a day you had today  
It took your smile away  
I think we ought to get away  
Let's run away

Take me out under the sky  
Counting diamonds all through the night  
And the moon in the morning light  
Out under the sky

Chapter 31 – Under the Sky

109 Years Ago

"You honestly think I give a fuck what that bag of dicks think?" Aethyta's garbled voice echoed in the tiny confines of the state room. "I love you. I'll love her too."

"It is not that easy and you are very well aware of that." Benezia fingered the bracelet carefully concealed within a hidden sleeve pocket. "A new species will discover council space within the next century. Change is inevitable and I need to make sure my heir is in place to ensure our survival and position of power."

"Athame's ass! Those priests are as useful as tits on a hanar. I'm not going to waste my breath talking about their grand fucking predictions." Aethyta lowered the volume in her voice and approached her bondmate. There were more important things at sake. "But a kid needs her parents growing up. You'll never have the time for her, especially with all of your commitments. She's going to need a father, Nezzy." She reached her hand out grabbing Benezia by the elbow, knowing this may be the last time they ever touched. "You know I hate politics, I'll give it up. I don't care whose DNA you map."

"It is not that simple, Thy." Benezia paused, closing her eyes for a moment before stepping backwards, breaking contact. "I cannot have her thinking head butts and ryncol solve everything. Turians and salarians do not respond well to krogan ways. We cannot fight our way into the future."

Fury overtook Aethyta. "After all this time, that all I am to you?" Benezia had always listened to her, respected her in a way that the other matriarchs never did. "You don't want my krogan DNA, fine. I'll live with it. But don't tell me I have nothing to teach except _that_." Her nostrils flared. "I thought you were _different_ than the rest of the matriarchs. I thought you were smarter."

"It is not about what I think. It is about how she will be perceived. And if we acknowledge our relationship publicly and with a daughter, they will assume you are the father no matter what we tell them." The weight of the words was beginning to take its toll on the normally calm matriarch. "She will be tormented with the pureblood stigma. I will not allow it."

"You can't make change without ruffling some feathers." But she knew her words were useless. She had already lost. It was over.

Benezia turned her back, the words she was about to speak could not be said looking her bondmate in the eyes. She stared into the empty space through the portal, so much out there and yet nothing to touch, not any longer. "I think it would be best if we ended this now, for all of our sakes."

"After 300 years you can't even look me in the face?" A blast shattered the empty glasses on the counter in a rare biotic display by Aethyta. She turned and headed for the door before taking a calming breath, pausing before making her exit. She presumed her advice was still going to fall upon deaf ears but could not leave it unspoken. "Promise me something, Nezzy. No matter what you want, if she decides to go her own way, you let her. Any daughter of yours is going to be something special. Don't treat her like a baby bird. Let her spread those little wings."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Citadel

Shepard did not realize how strong Liara was until the moment she was squeezing her hand in an attempt to remain calm. She could almost feel Liara's dreams swirling around a funnel into a bottomless and pitch black pit of disappointment. She had tried to restrain the asari's emotions but even Shepard had started to believe, or maybe it was just hope for Liara's benefit. She couldn't even fathom spending ten years consumed with only one thought, let alone ten times that amount.

"Sorry, kid, I'm not. I would've made damn sure I was around the last 108 years if I was." Aethyta looked regretful, as if it was her fault that she couldn't give Liara the answer she desired. "I wanted the job - she wouldn't allow it."

Liara started to tremble ever so slightly, Shepard only noticing because of the grip of her hands. "Do you know who it is?"

"Heh." Aethyta's disappointment seeped through the normally playful snarl, echoing the memories replaying in her mind. "No, I ... left before then."

And then there was nothing. Liara inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled before yanking her hand free from Shepard's grip. The doctor stood while running her hands against the length of her thighs, smoothing out her dress. "I am sorry to have wasted your time matriarch. I do appreciate you granting me a few questions."

Jaye had remained quiet the entire time but found herself speaking, knowing Liara was struggling for composure. "Could it be you are and just don't know?" She was grasping at straws, blurting out the first thought that came to her mind.

"No way. Some other species might think it's just another meld but any asari would know." The bartender didn't remove her gaze from Liara but her demeanor was softening. "Listen kid … Liara, maybe you can stop by and say hi from time to time and we can talk. If you have any more questions or just want to bullshit about anything, your digs, whatever."

Liara's eyebrow markings jutted down in confusion.

"Yeah, I did a little research after your visit earlier. I wanted to see what Nezzy's daughter's been up to." Aethyta stood, most of her natural levity lost in the previous moments, the sincerity apparent in her smile. "You know where to find me."

At Liara's request, Shepard escorted Aethyta to the lift while making small talk. As the door slid shut, Shepard was surprised when the matriarch hit the 'STOP' button.

"Look, Shepard. I can tell she's hurting."

The human remained silent, wanting to hear what the matriarch had to say but respecting Liara's privacy as always.

"After a thousand years I picked up a few skills. She's like her mother, keeps things bottled up but I always saw through it ." She crossed her arms, assuming a fatherly tone. "Maybe I can help her find what she's looking for. I'm not like Tevos or Lidanya, too afraid to say anything about Benezia. I want to help Liara. She should've been mine anyway."

"You helped me once for no reason and Wrex speaks highly of you." A nod of the head signaled her agreement. "Okay, once she's calmed down I will make sure to bring her to you."

"I can tell you love her, kid. I used to look at her mom the same way. And you're smart, too, since you're always taking my advice." Aethyta snorted and then started the elevator back up. "By the way, how the hell is that old lizard? I bet he's still whining about some bottle I owe him. Or was it battle? I can't remember."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 _Focus._ From an early age, Liara dealt with heartache and disappointment, forgetting the present by immersing herself in the past. Shepard blocked her terminal access the prior evening, forcing Liara to stop her research for the night. She started again bright and early that morning, developing a fresh course of action.

The drone buzzed around Liara's office, going through its usual routine as it powered up. This was the thirteenth version of Javik that had been activated, the previous twelve drones all destroyed in one manner or another in order to power them down. The pompous and arrogant AI was always loaded fresh from the Eden Prime feed with no recollection of its multiple life spans. Each iteration was carefully documented with adjustments being made to the approach along the way.

Even though Javik had a superiority complex when it came to all species, there was something about its reflections of asari that were unique. Javik seemed to believe that Protheans interacted with asari, unlike his commentary on other species which seemed to reveal only observations. After introductions and insults, the doctor adopted a new approach, acting as one of the inferior species that Javik believed she was.

"Yes, asari seemed to have flourished under the guidance of the Protheans since you provided us with math among other necessities."

"I am still amused that you finally mastered writing. Explain to me the current state of politics. Are asari the dominant power?"

Liara provided a skewed and inaccurate view of the galaxy. "We utilize a council of advisors in order to maintain appearances; however we are the controlling power, ensuring the asari are thriving. In my journals chronicling the history of asari dominance, there are a few facts that are unclear. I was hoping you would provide me with the missing details."

"Ask your questions, asari."

"Why did you choose us?"

"We saw the potential in your people. Even then, the wisdom was obvious. You lacked skills but were young enough to be influenced."

Liara buried her frustration with his words, concentrating on the progress she was making. "We have found various ruins and data scattered throughout the galaxy. Am I correct to assume the Protheans were the dominant race during your time?"

"Yes. We assimilated those who were advanced enough to serve us. We monitored the primitives, we guided you."

"What caused your extinction?"

"Unknown. My purpose was coordinating observation."

"And what planets were you in charge of observing?"

"Your data files refer to them as Chasca, Eden Prime, Thessia, Kahje, Therum, and Virmire."

"We have much data that we cannot decrypt." Liara once had asked Javik to translate the feeds which only resulted in him taking offense. "Did your stations utilize a cypher to ensure your records could be translated in the future?"

"I am impressed, asari. You understand information gathering."

"And the cypher is located where?"

"The Earth monitoring station. It appears we chose wisely to mold you instead of the others."

"Would you mind elaborating?"

"I would. Suffice to say, asari responded favorably to our testing. You met our needs and we set you on the path to dominance, to become our heirs as the galactic power."

"Why was there a need for a Prothean replacement?"

"Access denied."

Liara sighed - not at all surprised by the response she received. The drone clearly had internal controls in place prohibiting it from revealing sensitive information. "And our leaders agreed to this?"

"They were not consulted. It was decided for you."

"By who?"

"My people. We gave you the necessary tools to advance. You were wise but lacked patience therefore your lifespan was extended to remove the haste inherent in the decision making of shorter lived species."

Liara's heart fluttered. _No, do not allow yourself to hope for improbable desires again, not today._ "How exactly was our life span extended?"

"Access denied."

"Do you expect me to believe that asari are where we are in the universe today because you decided it would be so?"

"Yes. We treated you as our children. We needed you to continue our legacy. We taught you math, agriculture, and gave you longevity. You should be grateful for all we have done. You have the other species under your control. Things are as planned - the asari dominate."

"What if I never wanted to be a leader?" Liara flared her biotics and shot a wave at the drone, slamming it against the wall of her office. Drone number thirteen had been deactivated.

Liara felt as if she had just endured a discussion with her mother; her frustration was boiling over. Progress had been made - she _did_ learn the location of the cypher. She would not however let herself analyze or anticipate anything further, not yet.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Jaye, what are you up to? I know you have something else planned besides a simple date."

Liara had spent the entire prior day insisting to herself and Shepard that Aethyta's revelation was not important and her personal quest for her father's identity was over. Each time Shepard had approached the topic, Liara presented a non-caring facade and insisted on the sincerity of her words. Shepard knew Liara was burying her disappointment deep inside herself, she could almost _feel_ it.

"Simple?" Shepard maneuvered in front of Liara blocking her path, crossing her arms with a pouty look on her face. "The place we're going is top-secret and you have to know the right people to get access to it. Hell, most don't even know it exists."

"A top-secret place in the _Presidium_?"

"No, it's in the gardens. But we're getting a drink first." Shepard grabbed Liara by the hand and attempted to lead her down the stairs towards Apollo's Cafe.

Liara held her ground. "What is the purpose of this? I do not wish to inconvenience the matriarch any more than I already have."

When Liara refused to talk about their meeting with Aethyta, Shepard respected her wishes. When Liara chose to cloud her emotions during their meld, Shepard didn't press the issue. When Liara declared the quest for her father was completed, Shepard provided unwavering devotion to whichever path Liara chose. But it was now time for Shepard to take control of situation.

"We are going to say hi and talk to her. She kicked me in the ass when we had that fight so she's kinda responsible for us being together. There's no reason to _not_ say hi."

Once again, the asari did not move.

"Liara ..."

"Okay, fine."

Shepard leaned over and placed a peck on the asari's freckled cheek before tugging her down the staircase.

Aethyta was already placing two glasses of ice water on the bar when the bar came into view. She nodded approvingly as the couple walked over. "Good to see you kids. I was needing a break."

Shepard noticed Liara nod and smile, still displaying her perfect manners. She was hoping the matriarch's personable and talkative nature would break through to Liara, even just a little. "You remembered what I drink, I'm impressed."

"Impressed? Any bartender worth their weight in brandy remembers what their special customers drink. How about you Liara? Want something stronger?"

"No thank you, matriarch. I do not wish to fill up before dinner."

"Don't be so damn formal. I gave up that shit over a century ago - right before you were born. Call me Aethyta."

Shepard decided to let Liara ease in slowly, knowing she was still guarding her deepest emotions. She wanted the younger asari to realize how authentic the bartender was, giving Aethyta the time to plead her own case. She asked about the different bars where Aethyta worked and then allowed the stories to flow.

"I worked on Illium for years and then spent a little time on Omega before I got itchy to explore. You'd be amazed how similar the bars are no matter which planet you are on. Everything else may be different, but the bar crowds are always the same when it comes down to it. Even spent a little time on Earth before I came here. Ever been to Vegas?"

When the couple shook their heads, Aethyta continued.

"Wild place, like a cross between Illium and Omega and the strippers there, wow. Even salarian eyes bug out even more than usual in Vegas. No matter your kink, you find it there - everything from tits to tentacles."

Shepard felt her cheeks begin to warm as she heard a chuckle from her side. Liara was beginning to let her guard down.

"Ah, kid. You've heard of that vid too, eh? Ever seen it?"

"No, I have not - the image on the cover was quite enough."

Aethyta snorted. "Vaenia gals then. Why are you blushing, Shepard? Everyone watches porn. You two watch it together yet?"

"Jesus." Shepard shook her head, recalling the time Liara had gotten her to admit that she had seen Vaenia, including a visit to Aria where it played in the background.

"You will have to excuse Jaye, Aethyta. She tends to blush easily." Liara placed a hand on Shepard's thigh, attempting to keep her giggles under control. "So tell us, how did you end up tending bar in the first place?"

Aethyta leaned her elbow on the bar, lowering her voice. "Well ... after your mother and I parted ways, I needed a distraction. I got to meet a lot of new people. And while I was giving advice like a good bartender, I could also forget my own shit."

There was a pause. The surface had been finally rippled with a tiny pebble lobbed unknowingly by Liara.

Shepard placed her hand over Liara's, still resting on her thigh, and squeezed.

"Liara, I know you don't know me but I'd like that to change. If things were different, I would've been your father. Let me help you find whoever it is. No one knows Nezzy like I do."

She did not offer a polite refusal - instead she listened. Liara was at least contemplating the idea.

"Just think about it, kid. That's all I ask."

The waves disappeared and the lake of emotions was once again calm.

Liara stood and bowed her head. "I will. Thank you for the conversation but we have plans. Shall we, Jaye?"

Shepard said her goodbyes and placed her arm around Liara's waist as they began to leave. Liara was considering the offer. It was all she could have hoped for in bringing her to Apollo's. As they began the stair climb, they heard a garbled voice from behind.

"Don't even bother, Jacob. Can't you tell they like tits? No, the _other_ kind of tits. And you're not their type even if you were their type."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shepard had followed the map on her omni and was keying in the door code to their final destination. They had taken a circuitous route through some locked doors and past a C-Sec agent who seemed to anticipate their arrival.

"Where exactly are we?"

Shepard opened the door to a spacious garden. A small pond was the centerpiece in a lush but private setting displaying a plant life and greenery carefully picked and placed to create an opulent and relaxing landscape dabbled with inconspicuous lanterns highlighting the colors. The circular wall opposite the door was made entirely of windows extending to the ceiling, stars reflecting on the water. Next to the pond was a blanket with a picnic basket and cooler sitting beside it.

"This is a VIP area for dignitaries."

"It is absolutely magical!" Liara did not know where to look first, the entire scene was breathtaking. Sensing Jaye's apprehension, she grasped onto her hand. "It is like we have our very own private garden, floating in space. But, how did you gain access to such a place?"

Shepard led Liara to the blanket spread neatly across blades of grass. "Lay here with me, please. I want to hold you for a while before we eat."

Liara snuggled her back into Shepard's waiting arms, resting her head on the feathered pillows. Jaye had taken every detail of comfort into account. "But, how?"

"Aethyta has some connections. She arranged for us to have it tonight. She figured we'd like it."

Her entire line of vision was space. Looking through port holes or ceiling shutters could not compare to the feeling of being surrounded by a twinkling sky. "She is not like anyone I have met in my 108 years. I ..." Liara's throat began to tighten up. She willed her emotions back into the corners of her mind. "It does not matter. I no longer care about childish whims."

"You can't just turn it off after all this time. Please, talk to me. We'll get through this together." Shepard's grip tightened around Liara's stomach as her nose nuzzled into the asari's crests.

"You do not care who your father is. Why should I?"

"Because I know _why_ I don't know him - my mother was a whore. Yours is a lot different. It's part of a bigger and more important mystery that has controlled so much of your life. Can you really break free of her without knowing the answers to all your questions? Without knowing why she treats you how she does?"

Liara remained silent. It was in her nature to question everything. It is what made her a great scientist. She did not rest until she had some explanation for anything she investigated.

"If we get to a point where we have nowhere else to look, then we'll give up. But Aethyta is offering you help. Liara, it's time to start trusting others to help you, help _us_ find your father."

She could no longer contain the tears. Liara reached out, joining her mind to Shepard's and allowed her pain to flow, to be shared. She began to cry harder than she had ever remembered, her body convulsing in the confines of her lovers embrace, her sobs echoing throughout seemingly open space. The anger and disappointment that was too overwhelming to experience alone poured through Shepard and began to drain away.

And then she heard it. The screaming disappointment in her ears started to fade and music began to fill the air. Shepard was singing along ... but to Liara. She had heard the human's voice many times but never directed towards her. Jaye was slightly off key at times but the emotion behind the words could not be more beautiful.

_'You have never sung to me before.'_

_'I always wished I had someone to sing this to me when I was upset. I used to play it over and over and pretend. Now I can at least sing it to you.'_

_'I love it and I love you, Jaye.'_

_'And I, you.'_

The tears she cried within their meld had a cathartic effect on Liara. She had experienced the last of Benezia's disappointments, and she would never allow herself to feel that way again. Her mother would no longer define who Liara was, who Liara would become. She would only belong to herself and to her love, her future bondmate.

_'When all is said and done. Darlin' we are the only ones. There's only you and I, out under the sky.'_


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32 – Control

The Citadel

"So I've got two of my own, one with a hanar and one with a salarian. They're both approaching matriarch age and doing their own thing. We get together a few times a year and even have a grandkid on the way." 

Liara and Shepard had visited Apollo's a few times while Aethyta was working, getting to know the elder asari. Liara was a different person since their starlit picnic. While she knew she must institute many difficult changes in order to become completely free, she was also determined to take the steps. One of those was getting to know the bartender better, building a relationship with her almost-father.

The couple had brought dinner over to Aethyta’s apartment for a more private and lengthy meeting than the previous. Her loft looked like a typical ‘bachelor pad’ with a small kitchen and eating area though the room was dominated by the large bed in the corner: a large, circular piece of furniture with a flush purple blanket haphazardly spread across the top, surrounded by several colored lamps and cabinets whose contents the pair were happy not to know. Decorations were sparse and simple. There was nothing "asari" about the dwelling at all.

“So, how did you kids meet?”

“Benezia hired Jaye to protect me.”

“She did one good thing, at least. Though knowing her, I'm sure she was hoping you two would hook up."

"Yeah, I stopped taking her credits once I found that part out. But how did you guess?"

"That's one of the reasons hardly anyone knew about us. It's all about sex appeal. Most species only pay attention if they wanna have sex with you. She had to appear available, mysterious. I imagine she wanted a human for you because they get very protective of their lovers. Figured it wouldn't hurt, am I right?"

"It is like you were there when she told me precisely that." Liara's speech was more deliberate than usual, consistently astonished by Aethyta's intuition.

"Eh, like I said, nobody knows her like I do." The elder asari spoke with such confidence in most topics of conversation, the result of over a thousand years of life. "So, how long did it take you to decide you wanted in each others pants? Liara?"

Liara began to smirk. She could already sense Shepard's embarrassment. "It was the moment I saw her. I turned around and could hardly contain myself. She looked so rugged, yet innocent. It was extremely flustering to be quite honest." Liara paused, taking a moment to gaze at Shepard, smiling at the memory. "What about you, love? You never told me."

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck and took a drink from her bottle. She knew her cheeks were red; she was not used to talking so candidly about their relationship with anyone. She momentarily flashed back to the first time she heard Liara's voice. The doctor had been facing away from her when she began to speak. "From the first words out of her mouth. I felt helpless to the sound. Her voice is like a siren's call, it still is. And she _knows_ it." Shepard smirked right at her lover.

"I do and I _may_ use it to my advantage now and again." Liara's cheeky smile turned serious after a moment and she looked back towards the elder asari. "Aethyta, was my mother always so ... cold? "

"No, kid. And from the little you have told me, she got worse after I left. There was a time when she was a lot like you - graceful and driven. Her mother made sure she was trained from the very start, like she did to you. She accepted it as her duty though and even seemed happy with her path. Over the years, she gained more and more power and she got closer with those damn priests - it changed her."

Liara never hear anyone speak so candidly about her mother. The few times she trusted in others to reveal her true feelings, she was betrayed. The rare times she spoke in anger to Shiala, the teacher refuted her accusations. "Is that why the relationship ended?"

"It was part of it - it started the rift. She began to close off part of her mind to me that she never did before. Finally she told me she wanted an heir and was searching for fathers, treating 'candidates' like they were in some sort of job interview." Aethyta scowled. "That was the part that fucked with my head. She kept it from me because she thought I'd be mad and leave but had no problem doing it behind my back."

"Why would she look elsewhere when you were with her for so long." Liara shook her head in disbelief, the question was rhetorical.

"She said I was a little rough around the edges. The yelling I did during council meetings left most of the matriarchs with a bad taste in their mouths. She was afraid you'd inherit some of that. She needed you to be the ultimate proper diplomat and I ain't. She was right about that, heh."

"So you left?" Shepard had remained quiet, trying to give Liara the opportunity to ask her questions but blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. 

"Not then." Aethyta's eyes looked straight into Liara's. "It ended a few weeks later when I told her I'd raise you as my own no matter what. I told her you'd need a father, like every kid." She paused. She had spent 109 years trying to forget that moment. Only when Liara started to share the details of her life, did Aethyta felt a measure of guilt over not being able to reach Benezia and make her see reason. "It ended then. That was the last time we spoke. I've only seen her once since then. She walked right by me like I was a stranger. That's when I knew my Nezzy was gone."

Liara placed her hand on the fingertips of Aethyta's which were tightly gripping the frosted glass. "Thank you. I think that is one of the kindest gestures anyone could have made."

The matriarch quickly stood and scurried towards the refrigerator. "Anyone want another drink? I sure as hell can use one." At the request of her two guests, Aethyta grabbed refills for everyone and made her way back to the couch. She hadn't expected this newly developing relationship to impact her the way it did. For one of those rare moments, Aethyta was uncomfortable with the current topic of conversation and dragged it back to her own area of expertise. "So, when did you two decide that you were in it for more than just the fucking?"

The change of topic was almost as sudden as the couple's responses.

"The night I had a headache."

"The time when she was suffering from a migraine."

Both Liara and Shepard looked at each other. The asari giggled and the human smirked. 

"Heh! You two do a lot of eternity embracing, don't you? Been in each others heads so much, you start to sound alike. Besides, I thought humans only said they had a headache when they _didn't_ want to fuck?"

Shepard was haste in her response. "It wasn't like that. It was a while after that before we even kissed." She completely missed the dry humor in Aethyta's statement

Liara came to the aid of her lover, realizing that Shepard was learning to open up to others just as much as she was. "I think that was the point where we really started to become good friends and trust each other. A few days later, we discussed each of our parents and it intensified from there." Voicing her feelings to someone other than Shepard suddenly filled Liara with warm sentiment. "Jaye promised to help me find my father and has kept her word since. Without her, I am not sure I would have taken the time to speak with you further."

"Yeah, well, I told her it'd be good for you and she's smart enough to listen to my advice!" Aethyta snorted - a clear attempt to mask her own sentiment. "So let me tell you what I know. I wish it was more."

Liara listened as Aethyta provided the list of names. She was astonished at how detailed her memory was while recounting specifics even after all of this time. She spoke about Benezia's friends, her meetings during the tour, and her followers. The pure amount of information was overwhelming.

"If you're asking me," the matriarch laughed, "and you are, I wouldn't rule out Sha'ira. She's Benezia's closest friend and they'd do anything for each other. They grew up together and shared a tutor since they both had that special talent. They were groomed from the start for power." 

Liara began to think on inference Aethyta just made. "How did I not see this earlier?"

"You think Sha'ira decided to become the consort to make credits? Or to get laid? She holds as much power in Citadel space as Tevos. She learns secrets and manipulates all who come to see her. And they actually leave her thinking she fulfilled _their_ wishes, not the other way. Her empathy was extra sensitive, she was placed in that position."

"By who? The matriarchs?"

"See, that's the grand fucking question, Liara. Tevos may be the official asari voice in the Citadel but the matriarchs, most specifically Benezia put her there. The head gives the orders but the neck moves the head. Most think the matriarch council merely advises and offers suggestions. I'm telling you Tevos doesn't do her own bidding most of the time any more than Sha'ira sleeps around because she likes sex."

Shepard shook her head. She had been trying to absorb all that was being said, following the logic. But there was a piece she was missing, it didn't quite all connect for her. "If the matriarchs control everything, I don't get what the question is."

"What I'm about to tell you, few outside of the matriarch council know. But I don't owe them anything so fuck their secrets." Aethyta leaned back in her seat. "The question revolves around the Temple of Siari. Many believe the more prominent matriarchs do the temple's bidding and those priests are the true power. There are whispers among the token appointees to the matriarch council. This is the debate."

Liara's bottom teeth jutted out. "This does not make sense. The temple never involve themselves in political debates."

"That's why I said it's the real question. They were up your mother's ass, or maybe she was up theirs. I couldn't tell at the end. But the asari way is infiltration, espionage, and manipulation. It fits."

Liara sighed. She did not know her mother as well as she thought, not in the least. "Alright, so I now have to consider Sha'ira which I never have and also Tevos since she is in debt to Benezia. Goddess, I feel like some cheap piece of bartered goods suddenly."

"No way, kiddo. Nezzy may be a lot of things, but I know she wanted you more than anything. I was in her head, trust me on this. As fucked up as it sounds, she wanted to give you everything, including DNA. Her methods just suck." Aethyta wandered over to the cabinet and opened a second bottle of ryncol for herself. "Shiala was being groomed to be your servant for a hundred years before you were even born. She was from a prominent line and brought her family's influence with her. Benezia thought she was setting you up for a good life."

Liara felt more confused than ever. So much information, so many names, so many nameless leads. And yet after all was said, the resentment for her mother grew exponentially. "I do not want her life. I want my own."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Javik had given Liara a clue to the location of the cypher she needed. As soon as it mentioned an Earth monitoring station, she immediately knew where to look. The ruins on Mars were under the control of the Alliance and access was only granted through official channels. The only reasonable option Liara had was through Councilor Tevos.

If it had been a few months earlier, she would have placed a call to Benezia requesting assistance. This was no longer an option. She needed to resist the urge and utilize her own resources, her own skills to accomplish her goals. When Liara had presented the dilemma to Shepard, the human just smiled in reply. _'You get us in with her and if she refuses, leave it to me.'_

Over the years, Liara had met Tevos at various functions as well as a number of meetings at T'Soni Estate that she had behind locked doors with Benezia. Aethyta's information on the workings of the asari matriarch council as well as Benezia caused Liara to reexamine everything, including the esteemed asari councilor.

The archeologist was actually nervous. Somehow with all of the new information at her disposal, everything seemed more complicated. She got the distinct feeling that the mysteries would only become even more tangled.

As the couple strolled into Tevos' office, the councilor smiled and stood, displaying her warmest greeting but Liara sensed apprehension for a moment as Tevos' eyes skipped towards Shepard. "Thank you for agreeing to meet me on such short notice, Councilor. Let me introduce my associate to you. This is Jaye Shepard."

Shepard nodded, "It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance."

The couple sat down across from Tevos who seemed relieved. To anyone else, nothing would seem peculiar. But to an empath like Liara, she realized Shepard and Tevos already knew each other, she was just not sure how. "I do not wish to take up any more of your time than necessary and I hope you truly believe me when I say that I would not be here if it were not the utmost importance."  


Liara presented a brief recap of her studies in Prothean history. She was brief and without providing any specifics, she explained her needs. "And due to the ruins being under the control of the Alliance, and their refusal to allow anyone access who is non-military without going through a lengthy application process, I was hoping you could put in a diplomatic request for me, in the name of research. I am one of the few experts in this field and due to the nature of decay, everything is time sensitive."

In as polite a tone as any politician could muster, Tevos spoke. "I am sorry, Liara. A request like this to the newest member of the council would require negotiations and a promises that I am just not prepared to entertain. Councilor Udina already makes unreasonable demands. This would provide him with something to offer in return. Surely you can understand that such a _personal_ request cannot be made under official pretences."

She had all but said it. Without Benezia's approval, Tevos was not willing to help Liara. She was every bit the puppet Aethyta claimed her to be.

"If you pardon my lack of knowledge on council dealings, I would assume there were other avenues to explore. Any of Dr. T'Soni's findings would benefit the asari as you well know - this is not just a non-official request." Shepard was sounding as persuasive as she ever had. The familiar speech she normally employed was barely noticeable. But then she looked at Tevos directly. "Personal ties are always important in politics, _aren't_ they Councilor?" She may not sound like a diplomat but she could certainly pass for someone of privileged upbringing with _sensitive_ knowledge to wield.

Lines appeared around Tevos' eyes. With a polite smile, she responded. "Of course. The asari government needs to maintain various types of assets and _knowledge_ is certainly one of our best. I cannot make any guarantees, but I will be in touch within 48 hours." The councilor drew a deep breath. "I hope this is satisfactory."

"I am sure you will be successful, Councilor Tevos." Liara stood and bowed her head in appreciation. "I will leave my contact information with your assistant."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ashley and Shepard were enhancing the crew's weapon cache with the newly purchased mods. With the Cerberus threat, everyone was given the upgrades and even new guns when needed. Combat training was made a regular part of the work schedule in order to fine tune reflexes or in the case of the more seasoned fighters, sharpen their talents and teach others. 

Shepard had been waiting for a moment alone with her friend and was thankful when Kaidan finally made his departure. "Hey Ash, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Tell me about heaven." Shepard placed the pistol down and began rubbing the back of her neck." You've always said your grandfather's watching you. I mean, how does it work?" 

Ashley looked up and tilted her head, clear confusion on her face. "Since when do you want to talk about that? You never cared either way before.

"Just tell me ... " Shepard was pleading, "... please."

Ashley fingered the dog tags around her neck and looked upward. "Heaven is where the good people go when they die. If you lead a good life, try to do the right thing, learn from your mistakes, and repent for your sins, you go to heaven. What's funny is, before we discovered the relays and aliens, we used to think heaven was in the sky and everyone there looked down on us. Now I don't know what to think. But I know he's there."

"You've said you can feel him sometimes and that he's watching over you. So he still exists but in another dimension?"

"No, he exists here but it's his spirit that survives. He's in the presence of God and the angels. They can see everything. Occasionally they can channel their spirits to assist us. Sometimes when I thought I was at the end of my rope, things would just work out someway and I knew it was him."

"So can he come back? Maybe meet him in a different body or something?"

"No, once you make it to heaven, you stay there. It's eternal but your life is your one chance to make it count. This is just what I believe anyway, but there're so many differing beliefs especially since we found out we weren't the only life out there."

Shepard sighed. "So you don't believe in reincarnation? I know some do. People keep living their lives until they get it right or maybe even just forever." She was looking for some sort of definitive explanation and was disappointed that the answers from her friend were no more clear than the ones she found on the extranet.

"Well now I know why you've been so distracted all day." Ashley chuckled, "I think Jack was thrilled when she got a shot in on you without using biotics for once." 

Shepard's mood however, was turning somber. "Liara's been thinking about it - about what happens when I'm gone. I always just thought when I'm dead, I'm dead and I won't care. But now, I've been thinking."

"Well, some believe that the best way to live on forever is to have kids. You know, pass on your legacy, miniature versions of you." Ashley held her hand out flat a few feet off the ground. "But I guess with asari, that wouldn't be quite the same since they wouldn't be human like you."

"Hey!" Shepard gave her friend a light shove on the arm. "They'd still be my kids. But fuck, I am only 22. I'm not ready for kids, not yet. Maybe some day but that scares the shit out of me too." Shepard puckered her lips in mild frustration. "I don't know. I think I like the reincarnation theory best to be honest, for Liara's sake." She then took a deep breath and sighed. "At least I got the next 100 years or so with her."

"Wow. I knew you were serious about her but, that sounds really serious." Ashley paused and crossed her hands in front of her. "Jaye, if that's what you want, you better make sure you are good at dodging bullets. Bodyguard and mercenary aren't the safest professions." She couldn't have been more sincere. 

Shepard quickly shot at glance at the door and then back to Ashley. "Liara's on her way in here. Don't tell her what I said. I don't want her worrying more than ..."

The door swished open to reveal a smiling asari. "Hello you two. I hope I am not interrupting anything." 

Ashley's eyes wrinkled and then she laughed, clearly not sure what just had happened. "Miss Cleo and I were just getting these guns modded up."

"Miss Cleo?" Liara was bewildered.

Shepard swatted Ashley on the arm with the back of her hand. "Earth reference. I'll explain later."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara was lying face down on the bed, arms hugging a pillow, moaning with each touch. 

Shepard was straddling the asari's waist while leisurely dragging the heels of her hands up and down Liara's back, the scent of sweet oils wafting in the room. After a hot shower, the human's strong hands deftly massaged Liara's muscles, easing the soreness from the earlier defense class. "I wish I had biotics to make this better but you will have to make due with my basic human skills instead."

"Uhhhhhhh." Whimpering breaths coincided with each point of pressure. "It feels euphoric."

Shepard grinned. "You told Ash not to take it easy on you and with her help, you've gotten much better at grappling. She makes a much better attacker than me."

"What did she mean earlier when she called you that other name?"

"We used to watch old vids from Earth and there were these commercials for psychics." Shepard slid off and kneeled next to Liara, pressing her fingers into Liara's lower back. 

"Uhhh, right there."

"She was teasing me because I told her you were about to walk into the room and you did. I just knew it. It was weird." Shepard felt like she had a realization without it actually happening. 

Liara turned over and pulled Shepard down beside her until they were face to face. There was a curious glow in her smile. "Have I ever explained how a true union works, in the metaphysical sense?" When Shepard shook her head, Liara continued. "When two individuals join in a complete meld, they leave a part of each other behind. Our memories and thoughts are shared. The union transcends time and space, creating an eternal bond."

"Is that why some of your memories seem like my own?"

"Yes, I believe it is. But if you are truly sensing my presence now, I can only assume it is due to my empathy. I surmised your increased perception of my moods resulted from the amount of time we spent together." Liara ran her thumb along the scar above Shepard's eyebrow. "But perhaps it is more. Has this happened with anyone else?"

"No, just you. Sometimes I can almost feel how you feel. I didn't think anything of it until today. I just knew you were about to walk through the door." She briefly closed her eyes, enjoying Liara's loving touch.

"And I knew you were distressed about something, which is why I came to you."

Shepard smiled. She could feel the warmth radiating within herself and Liara and it gave her confidence to speak her mind. "I was thinking about our future."

Liara leaned over and kissed Shepard tenderly on the lips, resting their foreheads together. "As long as it involves being together for as long possible, that is all that matters."

"I know, that's what I was thinking about. We have already begun planning out our finances and soon we will be able to afford to purchase your ship and fulfill your contracts. But what about when that's over? I mean, I know we are getting an apartment but maybe we should settle down into something less dangerous after. We can't keep dodging bullets." Shepard's eyes glossed over with moisture.

A lump formed in Liara's throat. She refused to block any part of her mind to Shepard and knew the human saw Liara's angst about the distant future. It was a matter of time before the topic was approached. 

"Maybe we can go into partnership with Aethyta and buy that bar on Illium. I know a bit about running a club from Aria and you can continue your research. You even said it would take decades to fully understand some of the artifacts you found. Or you even said you wanted to maybe teach." Shepard was speaking quickly, the words just spilling off her tongue. "I just want to make sure I ... give you as much time as I can. I love you."

Their lips met as their minds joined. The kiss echoed the decision that had just been made. A spiritual leader of the asari people would have duties and responsibilities that could not be ignored or altered just in the name of love. Her mother was testament to that. But an archeologist on the other hand, could and Liara was happy with that.


	33. Chapter 33

Title courtesy of Psychedelic Furs.

Chapter 33 – The Ghost In You

Somewhere

"Yes, sir. After disappearing from Illium, T'Soni's ship remained stationed at the Citadel. She spent most of her time on seemingly personal matters except the one visit to the Councilor's office I mentioned in my report." The dimly lit room highlighted the drell's scaly features. "After their failure on Kopis, Cerberus is biding their time. Saracino's body has not surfaced but he paid the price for defeat."

"I read your report. Have you confirmed that Subject Zero, Kasumi Goto, and Keiji Okuda are now employed by her?"

Feron blinked both sets of his eyelids. "I can confirm Subject Zero only. I have also learned that Liara T'Soni will be at the Mars station in two days. My contact within Tevos' office verified it. What are your orders?"

"Feed Benezia the information I forwarded you about the mole we planted in her Noveria office and let her think she caught her spy. After Nyxeris' death, we have to maintain your credibility with her, Feron. Benezia can't know that your true loyalty belongs to me." There was only a voice.

"You may be also interested to know that Shepard and T'Soni have developed an intimate relationship." 

"Sheen will want to know this as well. Notify him about T'Soni's plans and her relationship with Shepard immediately." Sound waves were the only visual representation of the digitally scrambled pattern that echoed through the screen. "Shadow Broker, out."

Feron ensured the connection was indeed closed and that the signal scrambler was still operating. Being a double agent was a deadly profession. Sometimes even the drell himself had no idea whose side he was on.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Citadel - 2 Days Earlier

After Liara mentioned her meeting with Matriarch Lidanya, something didn't sit well with Aethyta. She had kept tabs on Benezia for several years following their breakup and knew that Lidanya had become Benezia's personal pilot. It was the beginning of the captain's climb to the top. 

What she had told Liara was true - Lidanya had no contact with Benezia's entourage outside of the official private welcome dinner, at least while Aethyta had remained on board. So then how did Lidanya capture the attention of Benezia? Aethyta took it upon herself to find out. 

Aethyta had just started her shift, relieving the morning bartender after running fifteen minutes late. There was a certain cute ensign from the Destiny Ascension that had a break between shifts and Aethyta took her out in the name of 'research'. The cute ensign was a bit of a talker after sex, going on about her position on the flagship of the Citadel as the personal assistant to the Capitan. Besides, the turian working the early shift owed her anyway.

Upon seeing Shepard approach, Aethyta grabbed a chilled glass and filled it with plenty of ice. She wasn't expecting to see either Shepard or Liara until later on, so the sight of the human alone was a small surprise. She topped the glass off with water as the human straddled the stool. "Hey, kid. What's going on?"

"Liara is working on something and I needed a break. Figured I'd come visit." Shepard ran the finger along the rim of her glass and began talking about the skyball tournament currently in progress on the Citadel. 

Aethyta saw right through it. "Those tight outfits are nice and all but why don't you tell me what's really on your mind?" 

Shepard huffed. "Okay, tell me about the asari view of afterlife."

The bartender crossed her arms and tilted her head. "Why ask me when Liara or the extranet can tell you?"

"You first and then I'll answer."

Aethyta began explaining the "All is One" theory to the human. At first, the matriarch presented the basic beliefs and clarified any questions Shepard had. "We can breed with any species so we think that deep down, we're all part of the universe. I hate to admit it, but I think siari got this part right. But who am I to say what's right? Krogan think they go to the void. Maybe we're both right."

"So even though I'm not asari, it covers me too?"

The matriarch’s head began to nod. "Ahhh, I get it now. You're human and Liara might outlive you." 

Shepard hadn't taken one sip yet. She just kept drawing circles around the rim of her glass. "You must've lost a lot of friends, loved ones. How do you deal with it?"

Aethyta held up her finger and quickly grabbed two bottles from the cooler. After running them over to the only other patrons in the cafe, she leaned in over the bar, closer to Shepard. "You get used to it I guess, or maybe I just got numb to it. Lost mom and dad at the same time. After that, the rest just seemed easier. How about your parents? You never talk about them."

"I'm like Liara. I never had a father and my mother was a bitch."

Aethyta nodded her head, smiling. Instead of just finding her would-be daughter, she seemed to have found two and was more than happy with her newly discovered relationships. "I've only ever had one bondmate, Shepard, and she's still living. But if I told you I never lost one, I'd be a damn liar. The day Nezzy walked right past me was the day she died to me." Aethyta clicked her teeth. "Do you want the standard answer or do you want my version?"

"The extranet is full of the standard answer - cherish the moments together." Shepard took a deep breath. "I want to know your answer. You don't mince words."

"We were together for hundreds of years. A part of me will always love her; remember her for the smart and caring person she was when we fell in love. We all deal with loss differently. I've seen some turn hard as stone. I've seen some go on as if nothing changed. Others live the standard. Me? Heh, well, I deal with it in my own way."

Shepard drained her glass in one gulp but remained silent.

"You got a lot of years ahead of you, kid. And things change; who knows what the future holds? But if I didn't know better, I'd say you thought about getting bracelets made ... " Aethyta poked Shepard's forearm. " ... and you're over thinking things."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thessia

Benezia T'Soni stared at her video screen. She had the private comm link - she had it committed to memory. What was stopping her from using it? Why did she even care? So they hadn't spoken in over a century, so what?

Benezia's finger violently poked the virtual interface on her omni, calling Shiala to her study. Before the door was even closed, Benezia addressed her closest follower. "Have you spoken to Liara?"

"No, Matriarch. Not since she was here. Is something wrong?"

Benezia willed herself into calmness. "She refuses any call requests. She has not responded to any messages." It was not often that she felt out of control. No matter which emotion ruled her internally, it was hers to claim: anger, annoyance, pleasure, guilt. It had been a long time since she felt this erratic - since she allowed herself to just let go willingly. "And she has been spending time with Aethyta. I would like to know why."

"Would you like me to contact Liara? Or speak with her directly?"

"No, I want you to go to the Citadel and talk to Aethyta." Her fists slammed down on the desk. "Get me answers!" 

Benezia was too distracted to see a smile crack through Shiala's lips. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Earth

Once Liara received notice from Councilor Tevos' assistant, she ordered the ship to depart for Earth. It was four days until she was expected at the archive station and Earth was close. After running her idea by Shepard, she notified the crew of their next stop. Kaidan's parents lived in Vancouver and were anxious to meet their future daughter-in-law, and Ashley could spend time with her sisters. Like Liara, Tali and Garrus had never visited the human planet and Shepard hadn't been there since she left with Aria. The stop just made sense.

On the evening they arrived, Shepard had a brief reunion with the Williams sisters, before giving Ashley time to catch up in private. However, when Liara had discovered Lynn Williams had started a center for homeless girls, she saw an opportunity that she could not pass up. 

Shepard and Liara exited the skycab at the entrance to the shelter. The autumn air was cool and refreshing as Liara inhaled deeply. They were at the edge of an industrial section of town which bordered the slums. It was as if the busy street just ahead was a line dividing a clean and newly renovated part of town from a section most chose to ignore. Buildings were old and in dire need of repairs - streets and sidewalks much the same. Shepard had been quiet the entire ride over but Liara felt her anxiety as she took in her surroundings.

"What has you upset, love?" Liara stepped in front of Shepard and ran the back of her fingertips over the human's cheek. 

"The warehouses that used to be here, it's where I used to sleep at night. Every time I'd find a safe place, someone else would show up in a few days and I had to leave and find a new spot." Shepard swallowed hard. "I guess I didn't expect it to bother me now. It's been so long and I don't think about it much anymore."

"Would you like for me to handle this? You can head back to the ship."

"No. We made a promise to put Benezia's money to good use and right now I can't think of a better way." Her leg was bouncing up and down, channeling all of her nervous energy into quick gyrations.

Liara leaned in for a kiss and shared their consciousness. 'You are safe now. I am always here with you.' Liara felt the anxiety soothe over, hoping the calm would last longer than the meld itself. 

Lynn Williams appeared through the main entrance as the couple broke their embrace. "I'm so glad you both made it. Please, come inside and I can tell you about our little project!" 

The couple followed Shepard's old classmate through the security gate, which opened into a large seating area. "The murals here were all painted by our residents. We have found that we need to obtain very little outside help for the everyday upkeep. The girls who come here want to make it their home and work hard to keep that feeling. It's part of our mission statement." 

Liara felt the pride seeping from the shelter director as they were escorted to Lynn's office. Shepard seemed to be remaining calm for the time being. 

"Mostly everyone is at school right now with the exception of a few who are sick, and the staff." As she opened the door, Lynn gestured to a pair of chairs. "Please, sit. Can I get either of you anything to drink?" 

Both Shepard and Liara graciously accepted before the director took a seat behind her desk.

"Let me give you a little background on how this project started." Lynn smiled directly at Shepard before leaning backwards and beginning her overview. "The city council wanted a buffer here that the Reds couldn't take over. They were tagging the parks and intimidating businesses and residents just by being close. So with a little ingenuity and a lot of hard work, we developed a plan for this center and somehow convinced the council to donate the land for our little project. We became that buffer." 

Liara was impressed with the accomplishments the center had made based solely on donations and self-sustaining projects. 

"We do what we can and have a lot of volunteers that help out as well. The girls agree to a few simple rules like remaining drug free and graduating school and we provide them with a safe home, food, and a sense of family. Most of them were either in the gang or felt the effects of their control. They find strength in numbers to stand up to the Reds.”

“And you mentioned last night that your sisters are involved as well?” questioned Liara.

“Abby does a lot of fund raising and Sarah gets us volunteers and interns from the colleges." Lynn smiled and sniffled. Her eyes darted quickly to her old school mate. "We want to give back for all that was done for us."

Shepard shuffled in her chair and nodded her head. 

"We even have local restaurants and businesses donate the food they normally throw away, and our girls deliver it to the people in the slums. They also reach out to other girls and help the adults as well. The residents feel good about where their meals come from instead of digging in dumpsters. As a result, the community has come together as a whole. The Reds are losing control." 

Liara was pleased with everything she had heard. It was exactly the type of project she was looking for. 

Lynn breathed in deeply. "And here is where our success could now cause a problem. We have grown faster than we had anticipated. We own two other buildings we can use to expand, but don't have the funding for the required renovations."

The allowance she had been given for all of those decades was slowly being invested into helping others. After all of the horrors that Shepard had to endure, Liara was especially motivated to help shield others from the same misfortune. “Lynn, may we ask for a tour?”

"Of course!" The director rose from her chair and headed towards the door. 

The tour began in the dormitories where residents were roomed in pairs. "We give everyone a 'buddy' when they move in to help them adjust and more importantly, so they never feel isolated while living here." Lynn Williams beamed as she led the pair through the facility. She answered every question Liara asked and kept nodding at Shepard in key points, signaling where she drew much of her inspiration. 

Shepard had remained silent throughout most of the tour, pausing often as she became momentarily lost in her thoughts. 

The tour continued through their greenhouse and eating areas. They then went out into the enclosed courtyard that joined the various buildings of the complex before visiting the recreation area and finally the medical wing. 

Sitting in the waiting room of the clinic was a young girl dressed in layers of dirty and weathered clothes much too large for her malnourished frame. Her body jerked as she coughed while her eyes constantly scanned her surroundings. Upon making eye contact with the trio, she immediately dropped her gaze to the ground. 

"Is she one of your residents?" Liara reached out and touched the windowpane. Through their shared memories, Liara had witnessed what life on the streets was like through Shepard's eyes. This young girl only reinforced the effects of being a homeless child.

"No, but we are working on her." Lynn sighed. "She’s sick and needs care but won't go to the hospital. So she comes here for daily antibiotics."

"Is there a particular reason she avoids the hospital? She appears to be very ill." Liara was glancing at Lynn when she heard the voice of Shepard from her other side. 

"They'll throw her in the orphanage. My guess is she's already run away from one or two. Its safer when you trust no one and live on the street than when you are in someplace where they tell you that you are safe and you aren't." Shepard had been quiet the entire visit until this moment. "Look at how big her clothes are - she's hiding her boobs." 

"That's my assessment, too, Jaye. But she won't open up to anyone. She keeps relapsing because she stops coming back when she starts to feel better. We won't turn anyone away who needs medicine but thus far, reaching her has been a challenge."

"Let me talk to her." Shepard's voice slightly cracked. She took a deep breath and strode through the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A part of her felt 12 years old again. This girl was a little taller and a lot skinnier than she had ever been but Shepard couldn't shake the haunting mirror sitting in the tiny room. 

Her eyes shot towards the door as Shepard entered. Her nose was noticeably red and irritated even through the dirt smudged all over her face. "Who are you? You don't work here. I'm not going with you!" Her hands shot up, displaying the scar across one of her palms.

Shepard stopped in her tracks. The line between who she was and who she used to be was blurred. "Don't want you to go with me. I just wanna talk. Can I sit?"

The street urchin nodded as she brought her hands to her mouth, stifling a series of coughs. Her eyes remained sharply focused on Shepard.

Jaye chose a chair far enough away to not crowd the scared girl and sat down. "Bottle or knife?"

The girl remained silent. 

"Your hand." Shepard pointed. "Defensive scar, right?"

She answered between a series of stifled coughs. "Knife. How'd you know?"

Shepard pulled up the sleeve on her shirt, revealing a scar across the inside of her forearm. "I have one too. I used to live in these buildings long ago." She ran her finger over her scar, glancing at the ceiling before pulling her sleeve down. 

"I move around a lot."

"I did too. I always wished there was a place like this I could go when I was your age."

The girl wiped her runny nose on the ratty cuff of her sweater. "I've had enough of orphanages. I'm better on my own. Just need to get better and I'll be okay."

Shepard could almost feel the ghosting hands pawing at her legs, her arms, or her breasts. It happened often until she learned to sleep lightly. She had woken up only a few times with some strangers hands touching her but it was more than enough. The memory was making her skin crawl from the inside. "This place isn't an orphanage. The lady out there?" Shepard pointed to the window. "We went to school together. She's not going to let anything bad happen here." 

"I just want my shot and I'm going." The girl was defiant. Her lips pursed as she stifled yet another cough.

"You have no reason to trust me - I get it. But you should ... "

"You're right. I don't know who the fuck you are! Leave me alone." The urchin cut Shepard off and stared into her face. 

How many times had Shepard said those exact words? Had someone tried to really help her at one point? "I'm just trying ... " Her voice echoed the exact helplessness she had heard a dozen times or so herself.

" _Fuck_ off!"

Shepard rose and watched as the girl flinched instinctively while repressing another coughing fit. There was a lump in her throat as she forced herself to swallow. "Just think about it." She turned and sped through the door, slamming it behind her. "Lynn, give her soap and a toothbrush before she leaves. In fact, hand out soap with food from now on." She turned towards Liara. "I need air. I'll be outside when you're done."

The security doors opened into the cool air and Shepard began to sprint down the street as fast as she could. Her heart was racing and her chest felt tight. _It's over. You aren't that kid any longer._ She stopped at the corner and bent over, resting her hands on her knees as she caught her breath. She glanced sideways down an alley leading deeper into the slums. Suddenly, she knew where she was. Shepard didn't remember the moment, but Ashley had told her once where she had been found, high as a kite. _I'll always be a street rat. Who the fuck am I kidding?_

She turned around and looked at the entrance she just bolted from. Liara, that's who. Shepard jogged back towards the doors and took a seat on the curb in front of the building. She wanted to cry. She wanted to run and hide somewhere that no one could find her - maybe down into the sewers or a rooftop somewhere, leaning against a chimney to keep warm like she had done so often.

Through the clouds of anguish, the most beautiful feeling overcame her. Liara was approaching from behind - she felt the soul warming presence spread throughout body. She closed her eyes in an attempt to center herself as a hand rested on her shoulder. It took every ounce of self-control to not flinch.

"Jaye? I am sorry, love. I did not realize this would affect you in such a harsh manner. I would have never ... "

Shepard stood and threw herself into Liara's arms. "Stop! It doesn't matter anymore." She gripped Liara tightly against her and began to settle down even more as she felt Liara's arms surround her in return. 

"It does matter because you matter. We can talk about it."

"No, absolutely not! That's ancient history." She leaned back and looked into Liara's blue eyes. "You gave Lynn credits, right?" She knew the answer but had to hear it for herself.

"Yes, of course." Liara smiled and removed her hands from Shepard's torso and grasped each of the human's hands, squeezing tightly.

"Then we saved some kids today. Let's get out of here." Shepard turned and led Liara to their cab. As the car drove away, she saw the sick girl exit the shelter. 

_Just not her._


	34. Chapter 34

Title courtesy of Alanis Morissette.

Chapter 34 – Everything

Earth 

Oriana and Kaidan had just returned from Vancouver that afternoon after spending some time with his parents. The ring hadn't left her finger since Kaidan placed it there back on Illium. Together, they picked up a sturdy yet complimentary chain in case she needed to wear the ring around her neck while working on a patient. She hadn't forgotten certain precautions a full time doctor had to take.

Even though their time together was brief, Oriana felt instant acceptance into the Alenko family. Kaidan looked like a younger version of his father but his mannerisms were all an echo of his mother. He was gentle and sensitive, not a macho bone in his body. He possessed conviction in his morals and the strength to defend his opinions no matter how much it differed from those around him and yet always respected other views as well. 

As easy as it would have been for Kaidan to become bitter about his element zero exposure or faulty L2 implants, he took it in stride. _'Every thing in life happens for a reason',_ his mother said. Kaidan lived that motto. As a doctor, Oriana had seen death often - each time touched her the same. As a scientist, she accepted death as the natural order of life. As a person, she still searched for a deeper explanation as to why. Kaidan's motto was similar to the one she adopted during her first year in medical school.

Liara had set up a night out for the entire crew on their last day on Earth. Most of the crew had gravitated towards a large vid screen where Tali had set up a simulator mod in the back of the bar. Ori ordered a refill and sat at the end of the counter, content to just watch Kaidan dancing while Ashley strummed on her omni-guitar. 

"Ori, it is so nice to see you so happy. I take it the visit with Kaidan's parents went well?" Liara sat down next to her assistant.

Oriana turned to face her employer. It had been quite some time since they sat down alone to just talk. "Yes, thank you. We weren't there an hour and his mother already pulled out some baby pictures. He acted embarrassed but I know that he loves how his mother fawns all over him. I'm just happy that she likes me, or seems to."

"Of course she likes you. You make her son happy. It is what all mothers should want for their children." Liara's smile seemed almost forced.

"I take it that your mother is still being difficult?"

"Difficult would be an improvement." Liara huffed. "I have not spoken to her since before Shepard and I went to Thessia. It is time for me to stop expecting something that will not happen."

"It's important to look around and realize what's already there." Oriana paused for a moment. She had spoken to Kaidan about her decision on the flight back from Vancouver but voicing it to someone else somehow made the decision more absolute. "It's why I have stopped looking for my benefactor. If they want to know me, they'll find me. I have Kaidan and my parents. I am more than happy with that."

Liara reached out and touched Ori's hand and then took a deep breath. "I understand and one day I may reach that point, but for right now my search continues. I believe that if I find my father, I will at least better understand Benezia." She withdrew her hand and took a sip from her glass. "I have Shepard and all of our happy little crew. Aethyta has become important to me as well. But this is one answer I must find."

"It means a lot to me that you trusted me with this, Liara. It was so hard to make friends after I went to med school. I was always too busy studying or working. It's nice to have someone to talk to as well. Any help you need from me, just ask."

"I will." Liara lifted her glass towards Ori. "To your happy engagement."

Ori clinked their glasses together and took a drink. "How are you two doing?" She looked towards the corner where Shepard was leaning. The bodyguard was near enough to follow the action but remained distant. "Something seems to be bothering her tonight. Things still going well for you?"

"Yes, she has had some issues on her mind as of late but we could not be better."

"Asari exchange bracelets, correct?" When Liara blushed, Oriana chuckled. "Have you talked about it?"

"No but we are looking for an apartment on Illium." Liara's lips pursed together, trying to contain her smile. "And discussed our future plans. Neither of us has actually spoken about making it official but I know it has been on both of our minds." 

With the newly developed relationship between Garrus and Tali, there were a total of three couples that came together because of a single research vessel. Some things were just meant to be. "Both of us are lucky, Liara." She raised her glass once again. "To true love."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ashley sat down at a nearby table next to Samantha and grabbed a beer from the bucket of ice. Her sweaty hair was sticking to the back of her neck and her arms were tired from playing Omni-Guitar Hero. When Jack picked "Crazy Train" as the song to battle on, she knew she would lose. "So you have no family on Earth, Sam?" 

"I have some distant relatives in London but most of my family is on Horizon." Samantha's eyes trailed from over Ashley's shoulder to her drink, trying to avoid any eye contact. "Uh oh, look out."

"Laaadies, ladies! You look like you could use some company." The deep, radio voice came from behind. 

Ashley looked over her shoulder before twisting her head back to face Sam, clearly humored at what she saw. She was used to being approached by men - she had always been attractive but this one looked ridiculous in his skintight shirt and ... "does he have something tied around his biceps?"

"God, yes." Samantha began to giggle. "Just like a stripper."

"Not interested." Ashley didn't even bother to turn around. She somehow felt guilty laughing directly in his face.

"Really not interested." Samantha brought her drink to her mouth and held it there.

The man turned the chair around and lowered himself backwards on the seat at their table. "I'm Jacob."

"And I like women, definitely not interested." Samantha realized her mistake as soon as the words left her mouth.

"Oooh, so you two are together?" His eyes lit up like saucers. "I wouldn't mind a package deal." He leered at Ashley, wiggling his eyebrows.

There was something about this guy that rubbed Ashley the wrong way. She almost had an urge she never experienced before. "No, we aren't but you suddenly make me question my sexuality." She watched his sultry gaze break and heard a familiar voice approaching.

"You again? ‘the fuck?!" Jack sped towards the table with Tali at her heels. “Leave them alone. No one's interested, trust me.”

Seeing a biotic glow around the tattooed human, Jacob scurried out of his chair and towards the exit in a hurry. 

"Keelah, that's the guy that hit on us in Omega, wasn't it?" Tali reached over and grabbed a beer before taking a seat.

"Yeah, he's like herpes. Keeps coming back and annoying as shit." Jack straddled the same seat Jacob had just vacated, wiping the sweat from her brow. "I still can't believe Kaidan beat me. Of course I'm jamming to Ozzy and then he picks "Jailhouse Rock" and kicks my ass."

Tali began to laugh. "He kept swiveling his hips and talking about some blue shoes. You humans are weird." The quarian shook her head as she sipped from her emergency induction port. "Ori just kept giggling at him like a teenager."

"As long as he doesn't start walking around in a white jumpsuit, I think we're safe." Ash glanced back to see Kaidan and Joker working the simulator and noticed Shepard still standing alone in the corner. She knew the look on her old friends face. She knew she needed time to work through whatever was bothering her. "Hey Tali, what's on your arm?"

Tali moved her arm around revealing an airbrushed design near her shoulder. "Jack and I got matching tattoos. For obvious reasons, I had to just get my suit painted."

Ashley leaned her head down, squinting her eyes towards Tali. _"Tali-nator? Team Carnage?"_ Ashley knew the two spent a lot of time in engineering working on strengthening mods and defenses. In the years that Ashley had known Jack, she was always a loner and yet somehow, she managed to find a friend in the quarian.

Jack pulled the side of her pants down, showing the version on her hip. "Yeah, ain't it cool? I'm _Psychotic Biotic._ " She ran her finger over the swollen skin. "And, I'm running out of space. Gonna have to get my ass done next."

Traynor shook her head. "Why is one lettering in ice and the other in fire?" 

"If we ever get some action, we'll show you." Jack and Tali clinked beer bottles together and laughed. 

In some bizarre way, Ashley was actually looking forward to it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She couldn't get the image out of her mind. The nameless girl from the center hadn't shown up today for her antibiotics. Shepard had called Lynn earlier, hoping that after a day the girl had changed her mind and decided to move into the shelter. 

Instead, Lynn had given her the bad news. _'It's her pattern',_ Lynn had said. _'She stops coming when she feels better and then relapses.'_ Shepard knew better - she spooked the street kid away from the one place she minimally trusted. 

It was tearing her apart. 

Memories had been flooding her. Things she forgot, things she buried were bursting from within. All of those years spent away from Earth trying to leave her past - trying to rise above the ghosts of her haunted childhood seemed to mean nothing. A few days back on the place of her birth turned her into a scared and angry street rat all over again. 

Shepard glanced over at Liara. She had remained the soothing and supportive force that she had always been. Liara wanted to help, wanted Shepard to talk to her about all that was going on. When she refused, Liara felt almost as helpless as Shepard had been feeling since they left the center. 

Being a bodyguard was one of the few things she had ever been good at. It was what she was hired to do, protect Liara. It was all she wanted to do, shield Liara for the rest of her life. That was the problem. Maybe she could protect Liara, definitely she could support and comfort Liara until her last breath. But eventually, she would fail. 

The closer they became, the longer they were together - the harder it would be in the end. 

She never questioned their relationship before but when forced to look in a mirror, she wondered why Liara was with her at all. She had nothing to offer once they settled down out of harms way. She was a street rat who ran with a gang, cursed like a marine, and could only fake her way through any conversation not involving computers or ancient Earth pop culture. 

Maybe her mother had it right all along. She'd never be more than beggar or thief no matter how fancy her armor was. It was then she realized exactly what she was feeling - it was fear. It had been so long since she was truly scared of anything, let alone her own life. 

Somewhere during her adolescence, Shepard had stopped caring if she lived or died. Perhaps that was the reason she was successful as a mercenary. She didn't care if she was killed; she had nothing to live for. She took risks without fear holding her back. She learned skills to throw herself into dangerous spots instead of just cowering at a computer terminal. It was her way of spitting back at all that life had tossed at her. 

_'Fuck you. Try to kill me now. And if you do? Who cares? I don't.'_

Things had changed. Now, someone would cry over her, would mourn her. And it scared the _fuck_ out of her.

"You have been hiding in a corner for most of the evening." 

Shepard was so entrenched deep within her inner demons that she hadn't seen or felt Liara approach. The voice still had the same effect on her as it did that first day. It was nothing short of enchanting. 

"Dance with me." There was no thinking now, only reaction. 

Liara hesitated as she started to reach out her hand. "Are you sure?" 

She felt so vulnerable - it was overwhelming everything else. "Yes, I want to feel your arms around me and I don't care what they think right now." 

Liara took Shepard's hand and guided her love to the dance floor. Shepard threaded her arms around Liara's ribs and placed their cheeks together. She had no memories of any time where she didn't have to rely on only herself. Liara was the only one she ever trusted enough with that task. How did she get this lucky? 

_'Keelah, it's about time you two went public.'_

Shepard cracked a smile for the first time all night. "Didn't take long for the peanut gallery to start, did it?" 

"Peanut gallery?” Liara shook her head. “I am going to assume you mean the fact that everyone looked over here as we stepped on the dance floor." 

"I honestly don't give a fuck right now, Liara." Shepard tightened her grip. "I just need you near me." 

They were barely moving, just a slight swaying motion guided by Liara's hands on Shepard's hips. 

_'I've been waiting to ask them about Vaenia for months. You know how hard it is for me to keep my mouth shut?'_

_'Is that the only asari and human female porn out there?'_

_'No, but it's the best!'_

"Jaye, I want you to be able to talk to me about anything. If I had known the trip to Earth would result in this, I would have never suggested it." The prior evening, Liara had woken Shepard up from a nightmare. The human was screaming in her sleep when Liara had roused her. "I can feel how petrified you are, even now. Please, let me help." 

Shepard remained quiet for a few moments, just allowing Liara to guide her movements. "Why do you love me?" She pulled her head back and looked into the asari's eyes for an answer. 

A reassuring smile covered Liara's face. "You know each and every reason, my love. You feel it each time we meld." Liara leaned their foreheads together. The song playing had an upbeat tempo but neither she nor Shepard seemed to care. They just wanted to feel close. 

Shepard needed to feel secure. "Humor my primitive human ways and tell me." 

_'Stop watching them. You're a bunch of creepers.'_

_'Just let them be.'_

Liara chuckled to herself then focused onto Shepard's eyes, seeing the desperation that echoed in her voice. "I love you because you are loyal, and loving, and caring, and you find wonder in things even after all you have been through." She almost gave Shepard a quick kiss and decided not to encourage their audience. "You still find a way to not be bitter after all you have endured. I want to be like you." 

_'How long ‘til T’Soni grabs her ass?'_

Shepard rested her chin on Liara's shoulder, pulling their bodies together, ignoring the round of laughter. "I don't get why. I'm nothing special." 

"You are everything that is special to me." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

_Everything was so frigid. Each of her spike covered limbs was numb from the cold. She felt empty, just a shell with no soul, no heart._

_Through the dark and dreary gloom surrounding her, a flickering blue blaze glowed in the distance, getting closer by the moment. It seemed to glide towards her, filling her with warmth._

_The form began to take shape reminiscent of a mythological fire elemental. An angelic face dancing on her blazing, human-like form that looked so familiar and yet so foreign at the same time. The creature was so beautiful but in contrast, she was a monster; grotesque in appearance, hollow on the inside. Yet she was drawn towards the flicker, like a moth towards the blue flame of life._

_"Let me comfort you, ease your pain." The blaze was closer now. She wanted to run but couldn't fight the pull._

_The flame jerked in pain as they made contact. Cobalt ash-like blood dripping on the monsters spikes._

_She was hurting the warm and beautiful elemental._

_The flame approached again even more determined, riveting in pain once again as the needles stabbed her form._

_"Please stay away. I'm only hurting you and I don't want to." She started to cry. "I'm just hurting you when you get close to me."_

_She began to shake, not knowing what force was controlling her. Realization struck._

She felt the hands around her waist. It terrified her. "Nooooooooooo! Stay away from me!" 

Shepard fell out of bed and scurried into the corner on her hands and knees before turning around. She was panting as she discovered she wasn't on the streets, she wasn't 12 years old, and she wasn't being assaulted. She gasped for air – she felt the tendrils of her past choking her. "Liara ..." She drew her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around her bare legs. The urge to cry started to overwhelm Shepard. She buried her chin into her chest, attempting to catch her breath. 

Liara hurried out of bed towards her love. 

“No … don’t …” Shepard was beginning to shake. 

She kneeled in front of the human, reaching her hand out. "Jaye, it is alright." 

Shepard flinched. "You need to stay away from me. I'm nothing but a monster. You deserve so much better." No matter how she fought the tears, they started to escape onto her cheeks. She couldn't let Liara see her like this, so fragile, and she tried to curl even tighter into herself. 

"No, you are not. I have been inside you, I know you maybe better than you know yourself." 

"The things I've done - no matter how I tried to ignore them, they don't just disappear magically. I'm a thief, a thug, a liar, a gangbanger, and a murderer.” Shepard gulped, absolutely horrified at the thought that just popped into her mind. “Who the fuck knows what else because I'm an addict too." 

Liara crept closer, slowly resting her hands on Shepard's knees. "You did what you had to do to survive. Your mother tried to do a horrible thing to you. You grew up and recognized your mistakes." Liara reached over and lifted Shepard's chin with two fingers, wanting to look directly into her eyes. "And you have never once lied to me, have you?" 

"Never!” Shepard shook her chin free and stared off into the wall. Her voice softened. “But it doesn't change what I've done. I'm a monster." 

Liara turned and sat on the floor next to Shepard and grasped onto her love’s arm, resting her head on Shepard's shoulder. "I make mistakes too and you never judge me, not once. We are all flawed, love. You accept me for all that I am, correct?" 

"Of course! But this is about me hurting you. How can you love a thug like me? Lord knows what else I did that I've forgot." A noise escaped deep from Shepard's throat. She was fighting the tears and anguish from overtaking her. She wouldn't surrender the final shred of control she had over herself. 

"Is it the black-out that is bothering you? Is that what has you so petrified?" 

Shepard knew that Liara could sense the agony and fear that was consuming her. 

Liara's voice dropped to a whisper, echoing the helpless desperation she felt. "Let me help you, please. We are a team, we can do this together." 

Maybe this is what she needed. Whatever she had done, no matter how horrible it was, maybe it was time for Liara to see her for what she truly was. Maybe then she could protect Liara from even worse pain down the road. "Do it." She made a decision she thought she never would. 

Their minds became one. 

Her emotions were at war with each other. It was as if she was broken into two, each side battling for control over who Shepard was. She made no attempt to hide her internal struggle from Liara.

The adult basked in the warm glow of Liara's consciousness. She felt at home, at peace, like she belonged there. She wanted to remain there for eternity. 

The child she used to be fought, resisting contact and submission. She was afraid of failure, afraid of letting Liara down, afraid of the most painful rejection she could ever feel - one even more painful than her mother's action. She had to protect Liara and herself. 

Shepard brought the blood-soaked memory of killing her mother to the forefront of her mind. She held nothing back. Liara had to see the horrors for all of the awful truth that they were. 

The asari took control, fast forwarding the thoughts to when Shepard was burning her bloodied clothes and the first time she got high on red sand. The thoughts became muddied with smoke. _'Are you ready?'_

_'Are you, Liara? There's no going back once you see this.'_

_'I am already yours. I know what is in your heart. I have no fear of anything I will see.'_

A stray thought leaked through the bond. 

_'No, Jaye. I will not think you are a monster and want to leave.'_

_'Just do it.'_

_Shepard sat in a corner, hidden behind a dumpster, crying over her mother. She killed the woman who gave her life. She hated the woman who gave her this miserable life. She loathed the woman who tried to sell her own daughter like a cheap whore. She passed out._

_When she woke she was still feeling the effects of the red sand in her system. She stumbled through the alley and found someone else passed out. She rummaged through their pockets and found a few chits, and then snorted her second bag._

_The memories began to seep into each other. Shepard spent time zoning into the euphoric relief the red sand provided her from the torture of her guilt. She tried to hack for some chits but couldn't remember how while under the effects of the drugs. Her fingers fumbled on the interfaces, as she locked herself out of two different terminals before reverting back to petty theft to afford her next high._

_The dealer licked his lips every time she approached. 'You want to be my friend? I always let my friends sample my supply.' She defiantly refused time and again clinging on the one shred of worth she had left._

_Each time she bought another bag and inhaled the dust, the escape was deeper, more consuming. Each time she began to experience withdrawal, the desperation for the high grew stronger. The high itself wasn’t lasting nearly as long._

_The dealer knew he had her hooked. She returned to him for the third time one day, and he raised his prices. ‘We can do a little exchange. An afternoon for a few bags, what do you say?’_

The visions became her memories once again as Liara unlocked the haze. Shepard’s skin began to crawl. The hair on her arms stood straight up from the goose bumps covering her flesh. She remembered this man, his yellowed teeth, his leering stare. The way his tongue hung over his cracked lips caused her to shiver. 

Liara wrapped her arm around Shepard’s waist and drew her in closer. 

Shepard tried to pull her mind back slightly so Liara could no longer feel the anguish and only watch. She wanted to shield her emotions from what was to follow. 

_‘Do not pull back, Jaye. We can share this together. Let me be your protector for once.’_

_‘Fine! Let’s get this over with. Just go on.’_

Liara continued unraveling the stream, controlling the pace and pausing when necessary. Up until that point, Shepard had been pick-pocketing and purse snatching to buy drugs. There weren’t enough credits in that to support her growing addiction any longer. 

_She found a house and pried a window open to crawl inside. She needed a bigger score. She couldn’t whore herself out and let her mother win._

_She tried to remain as quiet as she could but the drugs made her sloppy and clumsy. She riffled through the drawers in the bedroom she had crawled into. There was nothing of value she could use. She needed something small to quickly sell - she looked for and found a jewelry box._

_The box was filled with cheap costume jewelry. Her frustration grew. She was desperate. She needed anything of value to sell for credits. She needed that high in order to forget what had happened. Her eyes caught a glimmer buried beneath a sea of plastic. She brought the ring to her mouth and bit down to test the hardness of the stone._

_‘Please, take anything else, but not that. It belonged to my wife.’_

_Shepard turned to see a feeble old man standing in the doorway with his hands raised in the air._

_Shepard looked at the ring again and gripped it tightly in her hand. After a gaze towards the man she ran towards the doorway he was standing in. This would buy her another few days of solace and relief from the blood on her hands._

_‘Please, no.’_

_She pushed him as she jetted through the doorway and he fell, jarring his head on a table in the living room. She stopped and saw the blood seeping from the wound into a pool on the floor._

_She stared at the motionless figure on the ground, the fog from the drugs slowly began to dissipate as the horror of reality took its place. She squeezed her eyes as tightly as she could, pulling her own hair, willing the vision to magically disappear. It didn’t._

_Shepard ran out the front door, never bothering to close it. She sprinted three blocks towards her oasis. ‘Give me five bags and this is yours.’ She held the ring in the air and when the dealer flinched, she pulled a knife and held it to his groin. ‘Take the deal, now.’_

_She shoved the five bags down her pants and looked for a place to hide. She kept mumbling the word ‘killer’ over and over as she searched, finally settling behind a trash bin in near the industrial section at the edge of the slums. As soon as she hid herself from view, she emptied each and every bag, snorting until her nose bled and licking the rest clean. Shepard felt nothing for days._

_The next thing she saw was the first thing in weeks she had originally remembered: Ashley Williams._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

As Shepard's memories were unlocking, they were becoming as real as if they belonged to Liara herself. The cacophony of emotions Shepard was experiencing was vast. Liara was trying to make sense of them all. 

A part of the human had always been hiding in the background of her mind. It was as if a piece of Shepard could never let go of who she was, of what she lived through. That scared street kid gained momentum in the shelter and wouldn't be ignored any longer. 

She moved the images forward. Liara remained strong for her love, supporting all the negative emotions with acceptance and understanding. Shepard had a good soul - Liara knew it from the moment they melded the very first time. No matter what she saw from Shepard's past, she knew who Shepard was now and _that_ is what mattered most to Liara. 

The experience started with defiance. Shepard was almost daring Liara to reject her. And then it morphed in unrelenting fear. The way the dealer undressed the teen with his eyes made them _both_ feel unclean. The embarrassment and guilt Shepard felt as she pushed past the old man, leaving him bleeding on the floor. And when she saw the image of a younger Ashley appear in her mind, there was a flood of relief. 

Shepard broke the meld immediately. She completely walled off her emotions and slowly began to inch away from Liara's embrace. "I'm a monster, I told you!" 

"You are not. You did not mean to harm him. It was an accident." Liara edged closer. She was determined to comfort her love in every way possible. 

"It doesn’t matter what I _meant_ to do, I still killed him. That still makes it my fault." Shepard tried to make herself as small as she could, pulling her knees in tightly to her chest, lowering her head into her shoulders. "But that's not the fucked up part. I’m relieved that's all that happened." Her voice grew in volume. Was she laughing and crying at the same time? " _Fucking_ relieved. How's _that_ for being a monster? How fucked up am I now?" 

"You are not a monster. I saw it all the same as you. Of course you are relieved. Now you know what happened and do not have to speculate any longer. You know the truth." 

Shepard stood up and bolted across the room, her t-shirt creased from the hasty movements and soaked in cold sweat. "You don't get it. I'm relieved that I killed someone instead of ..." The sobbing started as her legs collapsed beneath her. They were tears of relief and joy. Her body convulsed as high pitched cries escaped her throat. A decade worth of pain was erupting. 

Liara hurried over and pulled Shepard's head onto her lap, relieved that her love didn't resist. She stroked her hair as tears soaked into Liara's own shirt. It was all becoming crystal clear to Liara. The fear of living day to day on the streets had finally hit Liara in a way she never could have imagined while growing up in the protective confines of T’Soni Estate. 

"You're the only one that's ever touched me. I was so afraid that I did what my mother tried to do to me. It _never_ happened. I never became her!" Shepard sat up and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her shirt. "It's what I feared most. It's what I convinced myself I did during that time. Liara, I'm happy that I only killed someone. That makes me worse than a monster!" 

"I understand, Jaye. I felt your fear. I saw that girl at the shelter. I can not even imagine living every day in fear of _that_." Liara squeezed Shepard's knee. "You are not a monster." 

"I keep hurting everyone around me and eventually I'll end up hurting you somehow. I can't live with that." 

Liara reached over threaded Shepard's tear-soaked hair behind her ear. "Do not think like that. Both of us are far from perfect. We both will continue to make mistakes and that is okay, because we will continue to love each other." 

"It’ll hurt less if you leave now." The words rushed out of Shepard's mouth. 

Liara closed her eyes and took a deep cleansing breath. Shepard's behavior was beginning to come into full focus. "No, it will not. You are completely wrong about that." 

"No I'm not." There was such defiance in Shepard's voice. "I've been in your head. I know you fear it too. That's why I am telling you to leave now. Save yourself the pain then. Trust me, I know what's best." 

"Don't ... you ... _dare_ , Jaye Shepard! Do not even do this." Liara stood and bolted across the room before twisting back around. "Do not sit there and tell me what is best for my life, especially not after you have been telling me to stop letting Benezia control it." 

Shepard's eyes became as wide as saucers. 

"Do not fucking tell me I am too stupid or too weak to make my own fucking decisions! After all this time, is that what you think?" Liara huffed as her throat began to tighten. She felt a strange satisfaction that the human jumped as the word ‘fuck’ left her mouth. 

Shepard realized the chord that she struck within Liara. It hit like a thunderous roar. 

"Goddess, Jaye, do you truly believe that?" She knew the answer, but she also knew Shepard had to hear herself say it. 

"No." Shepard started crying again. She buried her face into hands. "I'm ... sorry. I just want to protect you. And once I'm gone, I can't protect you from the pain I'll cause you. And it's completely irrational and fucked up and I know it which makes it even more fucked up." 

Liara walked over to her love and held out her hand. When the human took it and stood, Liara led her to the bed. "Sit." 

Shepard did as she was told, hanging her head in shame. 

Liara knelt in front of Shepard, lifting her chin to look into her eyes. "You asked me earlier why I loved you and what I told you was true. But what is also true is what I did not tell you in the middle of everyone else watching." Liara smiled as the tears formed in her eyes. "I love you because I have no choice. You have been a part of my life since before we even met." 

"I don't understand." 

"You run around asking everyone else what they think happens after death but you never asked me." 

Shepard began to speak but no words came out of her mouth. 

"I know. You wanted to protect me. I suppose I wanted to ignore the topic as well, wanting to protect you. But the most difficult part of being in love in allowing your mate ..." Liara gulped. "... your _bondmate_ to love you back. That means sometimes you have to let me be the strong one. Do you trust me?" 

"I do." 

"Then I have something to show you." She never spoke the traditional words that asari used when initiating a meld - it always seemed so cliché. This time however, it truly had meaning. "Close your eyes. Embrace eternity." 

_The couple was standing in space - an abundance of stars flickering all around them._

_'What is this?' Shepard looked around. 'This can't be your memory. We're actually floating in space.'_

_'It is not an actual memory but rather a visual representation of what I believe. There is a theory that all beings are made from the same matter found in stars. The universe was created like this.'_

_A sliver of light formed in the distance and grew wider and wider until the glare overtook their surroundings and exploded in a bang of radiance._

_'Everything was torn apart and scattered, leaving only a few stars to sustain life.'_

_Shepard looked around. 'All is One: This is what asari believe.'_

_'Yes, most asari believe that. I, however, believe each piece of matter was broken into two before being scattered. Each of those pieces, half of their sum, waits to be born in order to search for their missing half.' Liara ran her fingertips over Shepard's cheek. 'We spend our entire lives searching for our soul mates whether we realize it or not. It is what drives us and only a lucky few can actually claim that we have found true love.'_

Shepard reached her arms around Liara's waist and sniffled. _'I can feel the truth in this. It's the first thing that makes sense to me.'_

_'I am not done, love.'_ She leaned over within their meld and kissed Shepard tenderly. _'If we are fortunate enough to find our soul mate in life, we are reunited in death. We are rewarded with eternity, living among the stars.'_

_'Liara ...'_ Shepard grabbed Liara's hand and pulled her onto the bed. The gift Liara shared with Shepard faded into their normal meld. She crawled into Liara's protective arms. 

_'Tell me you are going to stop allowing this to rule you.'_ Liara felt a stray thought of protest slip into the meld. _'No, I do not mean we will not retire to a safer life on Illium or even stop looking at options.'_ She kissed Shepard's forehead. _'Just remember in the end, we will be together no matter what. We have already found each other.'_

_‘I will. I’m an idiot.’_

_‘But you are my idiot and never forget it.’_ Liara pulled Shepard in closer. 

_'I love you, Liara.'_

_'And I love you, Jaye. It is the one thing in life that feels right.'_


	35. Chapter 35

Title courtesy of Avril Lavigne

I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated

Chapter 35 - Complicated

Thessia – A little less than 1 year ago

Liara sat in the middle of her study on a plush cushion attempting to center her thoughts. Various OSD’s and datapads were strewn on the floor along the base of the wall that displayed her degree from The University of Serrice. 

She had graduated at the top of her class, the youngest as well but even in her field of study, no one took her any more seriously than her mother did. Professors and other researchers told her to be patient and that with time, she would earn respect. Liara then decided that field work would benefit her goals. 

Immediately following graduation, she traveled to remote digs equipped with ample survey gear. She took readings and began writing journals containing her findings. She was convinced that after 50 years of practical experience, she would finally earn her way into a prominent research station.

She was wrong.

Each director she spoke with insinuated she was still too young and lacked experience. Many felt threatened by someone barely in her maiden years with such complex research and ideas. But there was more to it. She was also considered the spoiled daughter of Matriarch Benezia who never quite earned her own way through school. They were wrong, Liara earned each and every mark and honor that came her way but few could see past her surname. 

They, of course, also wanted copies of her findings in the name of "science". Liara couldn’t help but notice that a few of the scientists that she met, published their own journals shortly after the interviews. Their theories were curiously familiar. It infuriated her and she channeled that anger into determination, just as she had always done.

Liara needed her own research ship and a team to go with it. The only problem was getting the money from her mother who had already outright refused her. Her savings was not nearly enough. Even the secret accounts she had been funneling credits into would not come close to purchasing a proper ship. 

Benezia owed her for 100 years of neglect. It was as simple as that. She owed her a ship.

So Liara went to the only remaining leverage she could utilize, Shiala. Through the years, Liara could not doubt that she received expert training in every area possible from Shiala, except one. Manipulation was a skill she learned directly from Benezia. Liara warmed with a sliver of satisfaction each time she could maneuver either of them to do what she wanted. 

As she threw her biotic tantrum in front of Shiala, she channeled the anger she felt from the time her teacher bombarded her mental barriers. All of her secrets were revealed at that time and all of her protection was ripped away. That was when Liara stopped fearing Shiala - she had nothing left to lose. It was the one piece of indirect control she had.

"You will get your ship on one condition." 

Liara opened her eyes to see her mother standing in the doorway with Shiala. She had heard them approaching but maintained her meditative stance. Tantrums only worked with Shiala, not with Benezia. 

"You will take a squad of commandos with you." Benezia's voice was as imposing as ever.

Liara shielded her joy from Benezia. "I have not required protection for the last 50 years, mother. I do not require it now." Her goal was in sight.

The matriarch approached her daughter, leaving Shiala to remain in the archway. "You also constantly eluded any squad I sent to assist you."

Liara hung her head. While she would have flaunted her small victory to Shiala, there was still something about Benezia that made her feel like an adolescent. "They would just get in the way of my work and slow me down. It was impractical. And I need to do this on my own, mother."

"You are a T'Soni which makes you a target. If you want me to fund this joyride of yours, you must agree to this." Benezia stared down her nose at her daughter. 

Liara contemplated a thought. She had insinuated to Shiala that perhaps dancing could finance her expedition if Benezia refused but she was not bold enough to say that directly to her mother. 

"Perhaps I can offer a solution." Shiala interjected a well-timed compromise. "Matriarch, if you find a single bodyguard to accompany Liara, I am sure she will agree that one escort handpicked by you would not be imposing. This is a perfect opportunity for her to start learning how to lead."

It worked. All of the ideas she had placed in Shiala's mind brought her teacher to the conclusion Liara had hoped for. This one small concession would be worth the prize.

Benezia turned and looked at Shiala before returning her eyes to Liara and raising her chin.

"I think this is acceptable, mother. I must start to gather loyalty from my own followers. I can not do that with one of your guard. I have need of my own." 

And it was done. Liara had her ship, she had her funding, and she would have the respect of her scientific peers when the expedition concluded. 

She would also find the answer to the one secret Benezia had kept from her daughter for over 100 years and Benezia would finance it. The irony of the entire situation caused a visible smile to crack on Liara’s lips for the first time in weeks.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Citadel

Duty. She knew nothing else. 

Her family held financial power at one time on Thessia but a series of poor choices and bad luck left Shiala's mother with a decision to make if she was to remain the head of a prominent house. It was not odd for the fortunes of a house to rise and fall over an asari lifetime with the galaxy in a constant state of flux. Thankfully, she had one remaining asset to utilize.

Deyala was the proud mother of two daughters. Her oldest had skills geared towards business inherited from the genetic pattern of her volus father. Iyaima excelled in her studies of economics, covering both individual systems as well as the universal mechanics. Deyala made the mistake of ignoring her daughter's advice and misguided their fortune to the brink of ruin.

Her second daughter was to become Iyaima's trusted assistant. In short she would handle everything but business decisions. Shiala inherited much of her father's biotic ability, displaying traits of the elite commando heritage at a young age. She also inherited her father's tactical planning skills and her mother's raw intelligence. Shiala was very good at many things. She was the one single commodity that was valuable enough to trade for financial stability. 

Shiala was always looking ahead - it was the tactician in her. At the age of 167, both sisters were called to a meeting with their mother. The family finances were discussed and Shiala was told that it was her duty was to leave her own house for another. _'The best way to serve your sister is to serve House T’Soni. Only then will our house thrive once again.'_

Duty. She knew nothing else. But she had more to offer than her older sister was ever willing to accept. When it came to business decisions, Iyaima was a natural. Her only downfall was that she classified _everything_ as a business decision. Hiring a company to cater a business gathering was more than a bottom line and Shiala knew this. It was about impressions and the overall experience, the intangibles that her sister could not see. 

Matriarch Benezia however, did. She was financially stable and one of the most powerful matriarchs on the council. It took one meld lasting only a few minutes for the matriarch to covet Shiala and her skills for 'the most important task' anyone could ask for. She was to oversee the care of the matriarch's heir and eventually become her assistant.

For a century even before Liara was born, Shiala shadowed Benezia, learning almost everything about the workings of the T'Soni empire and the matriarch herself while her own family prospered economically once again. Uniting the two families created a powerful block in Thessian politics as well as on the financial markets. Shiala would make sure that bond lasted even beyond the next generation.

She always did her duty. There was never a conflict of interest in her own mind. It was just duty.

After dropping an OSD off at Sha'ira's chambers, Shiala made her way to the lobby of Aethyta's apartment building. She had to be careful. Many could not see past her boisterous disposition but Aethyta had a keen intelligence that made her deadly. Shiala knew something else about Benezia's former bondmate as well. Unless something had drastically changed, she was also not intimidated by the elder T'Soni. From the reaction of Benezia, Shiala could only guess it will still true.

Aethyta had arrived five minutes prior and headed directly towards the elevator. When Shiala was about to ring for entrance, she found the door already open with Aethyta seated and drinks waiting. 

Her appearance hadn't changed over the years. She still looked the same as the day they met. When she had first looked at the small and delicate frame of Aethyta, the last thing Shiala expected was a garbled voice oozing with sass. "Took you long enough to get up here." Apparently, she had achieved a whole new level of sass during that time as well. 

Shiala walked in and took a seat across from the matriarch, crossing her legs and leaning back, ignoring the brandy in front of her. "It has only been a few minutes. I wanted to give you time to get settled in."

"Can't say that I'm shocked to see you, especially after all Liara has told me." Aethyta drained her glass of brandy as her eyes darted to the untouched one still remaining on the table. "Since you haven't touched your drink I will assume you aren't interested so let me save us some time. Tell Nezzy to go fuck herself. Or did you take over that job as well when I left?"

Shiala smiled, not even bothering to hide it. Their relationship had always been tenuous at best and became marred with snarky banter right before Benezia and Aethyta broke off their secret marriage. At first Shiala thought it was a test just to see if she would take the bait Aethyta constantly threw her way. "Ahh, such an interesting message. I see you haven't changed at all." Soon Shiala realized that Aethyta didn't require an answer to enjoy her own brand of sarcasm. "Most wouldn't _dare_ say such things even in jest."

"I've never been one to run with the pack, you know that." Aethyta leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees. "She still doesn't scare me."

It was time to be careful. She still had to honor her duty. "I imagined that would be your response." Shiala leaned over and grasped the glass of brandy, bringing it to rest on her lap. "None the less, she is ... _concerned_ that you are spending time with Liara."

"Is that why _you_..." Aethyta paused, taking a split second to choose her next words. "... pointed her to Tuchanka in the hopes of finding me? I'm not her father. I'm sure you're well aware of that."

In fact there was very little about the T'Soni's that Shiala did not know. "Pointing Liara towards you? I am not sure what you are referring to. I am but a loyal servant." 

"Well, well, well." Aethyta drew out the enunciation of her words. "It appears that you might actually be serving Liara now, finally." She sneered as she paused. "Stop half-assing the job and being so fucking secretive about it. Help her!"

Shiala kept her composure, noticing the hostility overflowing in the matriarch's words. "We all do what we must, Aethyta." No one knew how deeply that statement resonated throughout the years. "Just as I have always done."

Her eyes furrowed as she raised her chin. "What's your game, Shiala?"

"I have no game. I am just doing my duty." Shiala's voice remained calm and pleasant.

"So am I the only one who isn't afraid of Nezzy?" Aethyta let out a stream of air between her teeth, clearly disgusted at what she was hearing while shaking her head side to side.

Shiala placed the untouched brandy back on the table and stood. "I will tell Lady Benezia that you were as cooperative as she expected." 

Aethyta snarled. "You do that." Her brown eyes cut right into Shiala's green.

Shiala was pleased. She had the confirmation she needed. Liara had spoken about the search for her father to Aethyta. As she reached the door, she heard the garbled voice of Aethyta from behind.

"After all the time you spent with her, how could you not care for her? She's a good girl, smart too!" She was beginning to show the same signs of frustration that Liara had shown throughout the years. Aethyta had also apparently become very protective of Liara in the process. 

Shiala never slowed her pace - she just kept walking towards the lift, thinking of the accusation that was just hurled her way. _I care for her in a way you could not even imagine._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sha'ira glanced at a picture sitting next to her console while she waited for the vid call to connect. Two young asari stood in front of the Temple of Athame smiling proudly as they held hands. She was older than Benezia by only a few months and their mothers had also been long time friends. Both Benezia and Sha'ira squealed to learn they had been chosen to serve the Siari priests. It was the highest honor that could be bestowed, each of their mothers had explained. 

_‘To lead is to serve.’_

That was drilled in their heads from day one. Decades and decades of training with private tutors who not only taught them skills but assessed the duo as well. 

_‘It is your destiny to lead.’_

How many times had each of them heard those words? With each passing moment, they were imparted with wisdom to utilize their gifts. They were told how special they were. They believed every word until they were too entrenched in the dynamic to truly realize what was happening. 

Asari were known for their long term planning and their patience. A decision was made - a pact was formed between the two friends. She hoped it still existed.

“Sha’ira, as always it is good to see you." Benezia's face appeared on the screen. Sha'ira was one of the few who ever saw her without some sort of formal headwear. "How long has it been since we walked in the Whispering Woods without worries?"

The consort smiled as a memory appeared in her mind. The pair had nicknamed the forest behind the Siari temple as the Whispering Woods because they would sneak out of bed in the middle of the night and lose themselves in the trees, where they could speak freely without the fear of being overheard. The statement was now their code. "We can stroll now, my old friend. The line is secure."

Benezia's posture relaxed. She normally sat straight with her chin in the air displaying ultimate composure. Something was clearly on her friend's mind and the secrecy could mean only one thing. "How long _has_ it been? 700 years?" 

"More. We used to joke how we would one day rule the universe. As the human saying goes, be careful what you wish for. It may come true." Sha'ira enjoyed her position. There were many benefits to being the famed Asari Consort of the Citadel. She lived a posh lifestyle and was constantly showered with lavish gifts. She had respect, she held power, but as with anything, it came with a price. "What is on your mind, Benezia? Has something occurred?"

"Do I need a reason to speak with my oldest and dearest friend?"

"When you mention the woods, yes, you do." Sha'ira did not need her gift of empathy to read Benezia's body language and tone. "Has something happened to Liara?"

"No. She is safe. Shepard has protected her and hired extra guards even though there have been no more attempts since Therum. My mole has been located and the threat eliminated. Physically, she is well."

Sha’ira paused; a look of horror shadowed her normally calm features. “Have they discovered that she possesses the gift?”

Benezia exhaled a deep breath. “No. She still guards that secret closely. She will continue to keep it quiet as long as she believes it gives her some sort of power over me. We must allow her to maintain this belief. If they discover the truth, they will insist on training her.”

“We made a pact, Benny. We will not let it happen.” For one of the rare moments in her life, Sha’ira was at a loss. "Then what is the reason for the secrecy? I thought you were not concerned with her other question."

"I am not. She has been asking about that since she was a small child. There is no information for her to find." Benezia paused as her eyes darted to the side of the screen before meeting Sha'ira's eyes again. "She met Aethyta. Somehow, someway, they met." She took a cleansing breath. "Liara is still impressionable and I do not want them together. But the moment I tell her to not do something, it only makes her more determined."

"I think you are overreacting. Aethyta knows nothing. You ensured that. There is nothing she can tell Liara." A realization struck the consort. "Do you still love her?"

"Of course I love her, she is my daughter!"

Sha'ira laughed. "You know that is not who I am referring to." It was amazing that even after centuries of friendship and countless shared secrets, Benezia could still be evasive

"How I feel about her is irrelevant. I made that decision long ago, you are well aware of that."

Their pact, the plan they made, was all for the greater good. "Liara may still be young but she is intelligent and resourceful. You may not see it, but she is very strong willed, much like you."

"She is not as strong as she needs to be! I only agreed to this pathetic little expedition in order for her to learn. I hoped she would stop being so emotional and grow a back bone. It is imperative that she stop acting like a child!"

"Then stop treating her like one." Their original idea was for two daughters, two heirs to lead the asari into the future. That idea was quickly dismissed. The famed consort had an image to uphold and becoming a mother was forbidden.

Benezia was the only one who could. "I am her mother, or have your forgotten?" 

"I have not forgotten but sometimes I wonder if you have been swept up in the very current that we are trying to redirect." Sha'ira touched her hand to the vid screen. "We are in this together."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mars

It had been yet another long day combing through the archives on Mars without finding the cipher. When Liara had originally requested access to the Alliance facility, she was not aware of pure magnitude of files and data. She was thrilled to learn that a long time researcher at the archives would be arriving in the morning to assist Liara in whatever way she required. Apparently the human scientists were not so threatened by the asari expert as those on Thessia.

As she disconnected her vid call from Aethyta, Liara glanced over at Shepard who was still concentrating on her own terminal. She felt so fortunate for the connections she had forged in the previous months. Feeling isolated for such a lengthy time taught her to never take her loved ones for granted, especially Shepard. She still felt a thrilling jolt every time she looked at her escort.

Shepard was undergoing a change. She possessed a new found determination and confidence since they left Earth. Her final wall had come down and she was trying to let go of her childhood at last. 

Liara called her love's name and received no response. She spoke again utilizing the throaty tone that always excited Shepard. "Jaye?" The name rolled off her tongue. "You are reminding me of myself with how you are focused on your terminal." Liara walked over and put her hands on Shepard's shoulders. "How much of the conversation did you hear?"

Shepard turned her head slightly to glance at the asari's hand before continuing to scan her reports. "Something about Shiala doing something?" She leaned her face in closer to the screen.

Many times Shepard claimed to say the most ridiculous thing she could think of in an attempt to gain Liara's attention while the doctor was working. Liara decided to test this tactic out for herself, hoping for success. "Yes. Apparently Shiala told her that my father is Blasto."

"Oh? That's good." Shepard was not fazed. 

Liara was not used to battling anything for Shepard's attention. It stunned her and she realized the irony in the role reversal she found herself in and decided that more drastic measures were needed. She ran her hands down and began tickling Jaye's sides, much to the human's surprise. 

The laughter erupted from Shepard. She squirmed in her chair as she pulled Liara's hands away, quickly twisting her chair around. "What was that for?"

Liara couldn't help but smirk, enjoying her minor victory. "You did not listen to a word I said and I do not know how to cut off your terminal access. I had to improvise." Liara kissed her on the nose as she straddled her thigh. 

Shepard placed her hands on Liara's hips and gently squeezed. "I'm sorry, beautiful. I was just working on an idea to get something going on Omega that Aria would allow. It has to make money, it can't just be charity because Aria will want her kickback and we can use the money too. Our investments are paying off but not quickly enough." Shepard paused and then a hesitant smile graced her lips. "And while I was thinking about Omega, I remembered something. Have you ever had a DNA analysis?"

Liara ran her fingertip along the contour of Shepard's ear before gently tugging on the lobe. "Asari reproduction does not work like humans. There is no way to run any blood comparisons." She never shied away from a challenge and this particular one was becoming more thrilling by the moment.

Shepard smiled. "I know, but I was thinking." Her thoughts were clearly focused on something other than the enchanting asari sitting in her lap. The glimmer in Shepard's eye was so endearing. 

The way she was seemingly ignoring Liara's advances reminded Liara of the early days of their relationship. She couldn't resist a little additional teasing. "You were thinking?” The next sentence purred from her lips. “That sounds dangerous." Liara ran her finger tips down Shepard's neck to the buttons of her partner’s shirt.

Shepard playfully swatted Liara's backside. "I’m being serious. I was listening to Aethyta's voice as she talked to you and I realized how … _krogan_ she is. She's the only asari with brown eyes that I ever noticed and her voice isn't like others either. Her DNA is asari but at least some of her patterns must resemble krogan." Shepard remained focused, immune to the fact that Liara had begun unbuttoning her shirt. "There's a salarian that runs a clinic on Omega. He's a little crazy but he's ex-STG and a geneticist. I sent him a message asking him if it would be possible to see any patterns in your DNA and maybe tell what race your father is. He said in theory, it may be possible."

Liara stopped and cocked her head to the side, processing all that Shepard said while removing her hands from the buttons. It was an interesting idea and one she did not think was possible.

"You have been concentrating on only asari and I know you have your reasons but maybe we can get science to back it up." Shepard smiled proudly. "He has all these interesting ideas on genetics and is ex-STG. Aria thinks he's legit and I think it's worth a try."

If Shepard believed the idea had merit, then it was enough of a reason to convince Liara of the same. "You are too cute and yes, if you feel that he could help, there is no reason to say no." Liara leaned over and kissed Shepard's cheek. They made such a good team from the start. Each of them approached life and its puzzles differently. "I _suppose_ I can forgive you for ignoring me in light of this." Her lips curled into a playful grin once again. 

Shepard grabbed Liara by the hips and lifted her from her lap, quickly twisting her chair back towards the terminal. "Okay, I will send him a message asking him the details." She pulled up her message center and began typing away.

Liara's thoughts momentarily flashed back to the shy bodyguard Shepard was when they first had met - the one who tried not to blush while Liara flirted with her - the one who would barely respond to Liara's advances. It wound her up even more. "Do it in the morning. There are more important matters to handle at the moment." She leaned over and latched her lips onto Shepard's neck and began sucking as her hand reached around to her lover's breast, pinching her nipple.

Shepard immediately stopped typing and a throaty moan escaped her lips. "You're distracting me." She tilted her head further exposing her neck. Her message was quickly forgotten. "Fuck, I love when you do this."

Liara pulled her mouth away and turned Shepard's chair around, admiring the red mark on her lovers pale skin. She finally had Shepard's complete attention. Liara licked her lips before straddling Jaye's leg, grinding her hips into the human's small but muscular thigh. "Then I will consider my plan successful."

“I haven’t seen you this … aggressive in a while." A timid look of excitement overcame Shepard. "I missed it.” 

Liara stood and backed away, maintaining eye contact. "You have not ignored my advances in a long time."

"Did you just call me easy, T'Soni?" Shepard smirked.

"Tonight you were … challenging. It reminded me of that day in the cargo hold when I gave you dance lessons." The asari turned and walked towards the bed as she lifted her shirt over her head, flinging it behind her. She took each step with precision, swaying her curvaceous hips side to side. "I am happy your resistance has lowered since then." She slid her thumbs in the waist of her bikinis, sliding the garment down as she bent over to remove the remaining article of clothing she wore. 

When she turned around and looked at her lover, Shepard was already struggling to remove her own shirt in a much less graceful manner.

"Maybe I like seeing you in this _mood_." Shepard stepped out of her boxers as she stood, waiting for Liara's command.

"Then perhaps you should play hard-to-get more often." Liara repeated a curling motion with her finger. "For now... we have other matters to _discuss._ Come here."


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: Bioware owns all. Strictly for personal amusement. 

Title courtesy of David Bowie.

Chapter 36 - Changes

Somewhere ...

"Status report, Mr. Sheen." 

"I have spoken to Dr. Coré and she is prepared to be a most gracious guide. She knows that we need T'Soni's help, she will deliver."

"I gave Tevos two weeks begrudgingly and can't afford exposing myself if T'Soni doesn't find what she's looking for by then. The pieces are falling into place but we must have T'Soni's help with that beacon." Udina slammed his fists onto the desk. All of his planning, maneuvering, manipulating, and acting was not providing quick enough results.

"I have requested help through her mother."

Udina was not pleased with each wall they had found. "Use her relationship with Shepard to get her to Virmire if you have to. She's the only expert on Protheans in the galaxy who's not hiding on Thessia." 

"I think we need to let T'Soni come to us." Sheen flicked an ash onto the floor. His eyes glowing just as the hologram behind him flashed. "Shepard has kept her alive and safe thus far, maybe we should help her be a better bodyguard. Entice her with the promise of implants if we have to." 

"I don't care how you do it, just get it done." Udina had never been known for his patience. A seat on the council was nowhere near the highest goal he had in mind. "Has Dr. Lawson started cooperating with our other demand yet?"

"Her work on cybernetics is impeccable." Sheen took a drag, exhaling the smoke and choking on a ball of phlegm. "She still insists that cloning is not a practical option."

"Make the other deal." His weasel-like features wrinkled as he glared into the screen.

"Sir, she's the reason we are having success with the implants. I think we should reconsider. She is too valuable." 

"Her father will more than compensate for losing her." Udina asserted his position. He started Cerberus, he found Sheen, and he controlled it all. "Make the deal."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Virmire

The raven haired scientist prowled like a jaguar down the long pristine hallway. The heels of her boots echoed as they clicked against the speckled floor tiles. She was as close to perfect as anyone could be. Her pace was as deliberate as her path through life had been since she rescued Oriana from her father, giving her the life Miranda never had. It was also as lonely as the corridor was empty. 

Miranda was calm and focused. The door opened into the fading darkness as the lights flicked on in response to movement. Her destination was the shooting range. It was always vacant during the middle of the night while the rest of the facility slept which suited Miranda just fine. 

Everything she did was carefully calculated and she regularly expected and achieved success. The holo-target against the far wall was still. She drew her pistol and pulled the trigger a total of three times, the action taking a split second. There was a double tap to the head and one through the heart of the human shaped image. She never missed.

Her aim did not falter even though her thoughts were focusing on an earlier discussion. 

_"Dr. Lawson, I can not impress upon you enough the importance of your cooperation in this."_

_"Cloning is not cost effective or viable. The time delay required is enough of a reason. To grow an entire army properly would require layers of security backups in large facilities only to have some natural disaster hit and destroy it all. It's a waste of my time and my talent."_

She changed thermal clips and commanded the VI to initiate a moving target. Miranda aimed her pistol, holding out her arm as she tried to focus. She couldn't see the hologram through the cloud of cigarette smoke in her mind's eye.

_"Dr. Coré will be joining you shortly to work on that Prothean artifact. She will be bringing her own team with her after they leave Mars."_

Mars. Oriana was there with her employer, coincidently a Prothean expert. His statement sparked immediate action. She didn't even bother to wait until her connection with her annoying boss was severed. She hacked the feeds at the archive station until she found one scrambled with the program she designed for Cerberus. It was exactly what she feared and couldn't have planned for.

_"It's imperative that we get T'Soni here to work on that beacon as soon as possible."_

Miranda pulled the trigger and missed. Oriana. Coming here. To Virmire. She shot and missed again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mars

Shepard leaned against a table in the back of the lab as Liara, Tali, and Samantha worked with the archive expert. It had been eleven days since they arrived at the facility and eleven days of keeping herself entertained. There were no threats to watch out for and frankly, she was bored. Alliance security was as tight as volus' wallet. No weapons of any kind were allowed in the facility and numerous armed guards lined the most of the doorways.

All of these soldiers, way too many, earning paychecks from the Alliance in this opulent compound. It would take an army along with a few well-placed moles to storm the fortress they created on Mars.

When they had first arrived, she flashed back to the small recruiting office near Lynn's center. Advertisements sprung to life as people walked past, selling tours of duty in the Alliance for those seeking adventure and a steady paycheck. Shepard originally believed they were preying upon the poor and downtrodden kids who looked for a way off the streets. She thought it was only a facade, a pretty picture painted to gain recruits to defend against deadly batarian slaver attacks.

Now, she wasn't so sure. Surely some of the many soldiers stationed on Mars could be sent to the city slums on Earth to help keep order, to maintain an authoritative presence, and to dissuade the gang activity. Systems Alliance was backed by Earth, why wouldn't they help at home as well? Perhaps it was their intention to toughen up their recruits on the streets before they even enlisted. She wasn't sure which scenario was worse.

Ultimately, this was what inspired her to explore ideas on Omega. Lynn's center would help the place she grew up and tackling her second home was the next logical step. 

Simple investing was difficult enough if you were as uneducated as Shepard was in galactic economics. Thankfully, Liara had the experience and know-how to make up for it but investing was a slow process. Shepard found a purpose and the couple required steady income for their plans.

Starting and running a business was something completely different. Shepard had watched Aria for years and studied her every move. Aria also broke rules that Shepard was not willing to do. If she was going to be successful in her business venture, she needed to know more.

The long days Liara had spent combing the archives gave Shepard the time and opportunity to learn. She sat in the back of the room absorbing manuals, journals, and even a few college texts. She played with simulator programs that taught business strategies and how to adapt. She just needed to develop a plan that Aria would approve of. Liara and their future together were why this was so important.

Shepard paused and cleared her mind for a moment, allowing her brain to relax. She felt free since leaving Earth, she felt truly open with Liara for the first time. Her eyes centered on Liara and she smiled, allowing her love's emotions to soak into own. Currently, there was her persistent frustration with the lack of progress scattered with equal amounts of determination. Liara's presence was always welcome no matter what mood her love was experiencing.

Shepard noticed the time - it was still a few hours at least until they would quit for the day. Her eyes were tired from staring at the small print on her omni all day. She squeezed them tightly together and leaned her head back, thinking about the previous evening. Liara had suggested she play hard-to-get a few nights ago and that’s exactly what she attempted to do, unsuccessfully. 

Shepard had managed to keep her eyes focused on her datapad while Liara undressed. She rolled onto her side, facing away from her lover as the asari had crawled into bed. She somehow fought the urge to snuggle into Liara's embrace as the doctor wrapped her arms around Shepard's stomach. However, once Liara began whispering in her ear, she had simply melted. Shepard became flush just thinking about it.

Her omni tweeted an alert disturbing the sensual memory. She sighed and opened her eyes, the disappointment fleeting away as she realized the message was from Liara.

_'Are you watching Vaenia back there?'_

Shepard chuckled loudly - causing everyone else to turn and look at her. Liara proudly displayed a devious smirk across her lips. It was times like these that Shepard really loved the two way empathy the couple shared. She hoped she wasn't blushing while she apologized to the others. When they resumed their duties, Shepard typed out a reply.

_'Who needs Vaenia when I have you to think about?'_

Even in a crowded room, only Liara would knew what she would be feeling. The secrecy provided courage to go through with her mischievous plan and excited her at the same time. She flooded her mind with images of Liara.

_Lying on the bed with one leg crossed over the other, delicately dragging her pointed toe up and down her lithe calf. Straddling her stomach, pinning her arms down and kissing her roughly, causing Shepard to moan into her mouth with passion. Using her body as a stripper pole, dancing and grinding as her fingertips explored Shepard's body._

And then Liara shifted in her chair, causing Shepard to smile triumphantly. Her own arousal was indistinguishable from Liara's but she was aware of both. The victory was small but satisfying and she was looking forward to the asari's payback that evening. _Perhaps something a little more intense and I can convince her to quit early._

_Her moist, wet lips sucking on Shepard’s nipples. Her tongue ..._

Samantha almost jumped out of her chair breaking everyone's train of thought. "I found it!" Her excitement was quickly masked with the calmer tone in her next statement. "We have the missing piece, Liara."

Dr. Coré had shown interest in Liara's work from the moment they met. She spent the previous days asking Liara about her journals and theories, sharing her own findings and beliefs in return. "Finally!" Coré rose from her chair and walked over behind Samantha in an attempt to peek at her terminal. "I feel the same thrill when I find what I am looking for. May I ask what you found?"

Shepard noticed Tali quickly type into her omni as the data feed changed on Samantha's screen. The quarian, no doubt, initiated a scramble program to protect their find from prying eyes. 

"We were searching for a missing piece of readings from Eden Prime that were taken when the site was discovered." Liara gently touched the forearm of the human expert. "We are trying to study the state of decay to determine how we can improve today's architecture." Liara was skeptical of Dr. Coré at the beginning but 100 years of Benezia conditioning taught her that. As she realized her fellow doctor shared her passion and interest, she lowered her defenses slightly but was clearly not ready to share any secrets. "So much of their technology was lost and would benefit so many today."

"That's why we study the past, isn't it? To better face the future." Dr. Coré turned her attention back to Liara. "If I can be so forward Dr. T'Soni, may I say how impressed I am with your team? I have seen hundreds of scientists comb these archives without making the progress you and your team have in less than two weeks. I would love your input on other sites that I have been studying as well, most specifically on Virmire."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Citadel - 3 days later

All of the secrecy was fucking bullshit. Aethyta had decided to wait until she could meet with Liara in person to discuss the details of Shiala's visit and her other theories. Each time she replayed the meeting with Shiala in her mind, one thing rang clear: Shiala wanted Liara and her to meet for a reason. She just wasn't quite sure if it was only to help Liara find her father or if there was more to it.

Around the same time that Benezia had acquired Shiala's services, Aethyta's relationship with her bond mate began its decline into eventual demise. Prior to that, Benezia and Aethyta discussed most things from business to council matters to debates on the future of their people. When Shiala was introduced as Benezia's newest acolyte, Aethyta was floored. It wasn't the fact that her bond mate had never even wanted an assistant before, it was the fact that an enormous business deal was made for such a personal confidant and Benezia never even bothered to mention it in passing. 

_'You bailed them out of that much debt for a fucking personal servant? Athame's ass, Nezzy. It can't be that she shits credits so what the hell's so special about her?'_

_'She has many skills and she's loyal. She knows her duty and she will do it.'_

_'If she's so fucking loyal, how can she leave her family for you?'_

_'Because serving me also serves her family. They gain stability and money. I gain someone to train and eventually serve my heir. We both gain a powerful ally for centuries to come. If she fails in her duty to House T'Soni, she also fails her family now and in the future. The contract is specific. She will always be loyal to her family.'_

_'Heir ...' The word had hung in the air like a thick fog. They had never discussed the topic of children before. 'You mean ...?' It was one of the rare moments that Aethyta was speechless. 'Is that the reason for the secrecy? You were worried to talk to me about having our daughter?'_

Aethyta remembered the look on her beloved's face. She noticed a glimmer of ... something in her eyes. Was it regret? Guilt? Hesitation? Before she could decide, it had faded into an emotionless mask. _'Shiala must be trained before that is even discussed.'_

"What a fucking jumbled pile of varren shit." Aethyta looked at the time and took one final glance at the contract in her hands. Benezia's influence was widespread and after everything Liara had told her, that was an understatement of epic proportions. It was time that influence decreased. Coincidentally, Liara and Shepard would be arriving at any moment. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thessia

"Tell me exactly what Aethyta said, Shiala." 

"She said nothing of worth. The conversation was brief and when I relayed the message that you were concerned about her interactions with Liara, she displayed her usual lack of manners." Up until this point, the matriarch had been content with a brief synopsis of Shiala's meeting with Aethyta. It was what Benezia had expected and there was no logical reason for even sending Shiala there in the first place.

"Before I speak with my daughter, I would like to know Aethyta's exact words. I need to know what I am dealing with."

"Matriarch, there is no need to ..."

"I will decide what the need is. Tell me." Of course, Aethyta was one of the few who could stop Benezia from thinking logically and become emotional.

Shiala's face remained as calm as possible, her eyes lowered to the ground. "She said to _'go fuck yourself'_." She only wished she could see the look on Benezia's face as she delivered the line. “She also questioned if I had been given that duty after she and you parted ways.”

Shiala heard Benezia inhale deeply as she rose from her chair, only to sit down once again. She held her breath, no doubt trying to maintain decorum. "Just as you have always insisted, the moment I tell Liara to not do something, she will do it if only out of spite." 

Shiala lifted her gaze but remained silent.

"We need something to balance any influence that Aethyta may have on Liara. She will not be respected if she begins to mimic Aethyta's behavior. The council ignored her regardless of how intelligent her input was. I will not have Liara suffer the same humiliation!" 

Shiala could only hope that the change in Benezia’s normal calm demeanor as well as time away would cause a new and different reaction from her student. She trusted that Liara would finally assert herself in a more grown up manner.

Benezia connected the call after motioning for Shiala to take a seat. "Hello, Liara. You finally decided you could tear yourself away from your busy schedule and contact me as I requested, numerous times."

"I have been occupied, mother. My work is time consuming and this trip was planned to facilitate my research."

The matriarch's annoyance was less controlled and more apparent than usual. "I have not spoken with you in months and the last time I spoke with your bodyguard, she disconnected the call while I was in the middle of speaking." 

Shiala recalled the day Shepard had employed the same argument that she had used on Benezia time and again. In order for Liara to grow up, Benezia had to allow it. Shiala believed this expedition would facilitate that goal. 

Benezia continued. "What is so important now that inspired you to speak to me? Do you want something?"

It was a very comprehensive and methodical search Shiala undertook in order to locate the lone protector both T'Sonis had agreed to. The escort needed skills to compliment Liara's biotics, a survivor’s instinct, and most of all she needed someone who would not be intimidated by Benezia. Shiala had also hoped Liara would absorb some of the human's fierce independent streak.

"I need to see you, mother. I have matters I would like to discuss with you in person."

"Yes, a face to face meeting would be beneficial. Your skills are needed by some of my business associates and we have other matters to discuss as well." Benezia interlocked her fingers and placed her hands on the desk.

"I have my own commitments I cannot break them each time you would like to send me somewhere." Liara's voice was not as timid as it usually had been when speaking with her mother. 

"I own your ship, Liara. Or have you forgotten? I can do whatever I wish with it, including putting it in dry dock at the Armali spaceport."

"Very well. When can I meet with you?" Liara sighed. 

"I will be busy with other matters for the next two weeks and then I must visit Illium. We can meet there and discuss your next position after this joyride is complete."

Shiala was taken back by the admission of Benezia. Normally she kept her plans hidden from her daughter until the last possible moment. It was part of the game the two had been playing with each other for decades. Was this what the matriarch meant by balancing out any possible influence by Aethyta? Sending her to train with Tevos already?

"Position? Mother, I am more than capable of planning my own future." There was confidence in Liara's voice that growing with each sentence.

"We all do what we must, Liara. It is time you get accustomed to that. Shiala will also be joining you to continue your training. I will not have you picking up bad habits from every new person you meet." Apparently, Liara's newly found spark of self-confidence was noticed by Benezia as well and it unnerved the matriarch.

"I thought this was to be my expedition with my own crew?" The volume in Liara's voice was growing with each sentence that left her mouth. 

"Things have changed. I still own that ship and I want Shiala on it." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Citadel

"I need to see you, mother. I have matters I would like to discuss with you in person." In actuality, Benezia was the last person that Liara wanted to see but it was necessary. 

"Yes, a face to face meeting would be beneficial. Your skills are needed by some of my business associates and we have other matters to discuss as well." Benezia interlocked her fingers and placed her hands on the desk.

"I have my own commitments I cannot break them each time you would like to send me somewhere." Liara felt the support from Shepard. She drew strength from it.

"I own your ship, Liara. Or have you forgotten?"

Liara was well aware of who owned her ship. It was something she was working diligently to change. She had another option for quicker results, but she was still undecided on if she should pursue it.

"I can do whatever I wish with it, including putting it in dry dock at the Armali spaceport." Benezia always had a way of making Liara feel like a child.

 _Be patient. Soon enough that will change._ "Very well. When can I meet with you?" Liara sighed. After hearing back from Dr. Solus about the DNA analysis, Liara was hopeful. He seemed to believe that he could detect genetic patterns in Liara but needed something to differentiate it from, someone more specifically. They needed to take an actual scan of Benezia - there was no way around it.

"I will be busy with other matters for the next two weeks and then I must visit Illium. We can meet there and discuss your next position after this joyride is complete."

"Position?" Liara looked at Shepard smiling in her direction. They had plans after her mission was complete but it did not involve anything to do with whatever Benezia had planned for her. "Mother, I am more than capable of planning my own future." 

"We all do what we must, Liara. It is time you get accustomed to that. Shiala will also be joining you to continue your training. I will not have you picking up bad habits from every new person you meet." 

Liara knew exactly who she was referring to. She had expected a direct confrontation on the matter. She would have challenged her mother on this statement if the other revelation was not so much more offensive. "I thought this was to be my expedition with my own crew?" No matter what Aethyta believed were Shiala's motives, Liara wanted nothing to do with her.

"Things have changed. I still own that ship and I want Shiala on it." 

"Send me the information on where you would like to meet. I will see you in two weeks." Liara disconnected the call abruptly and shut the terminal completely off. She did not want to even hear the alert come through if Benezia decided to reestablish a connection.

Shepard was behind her immediately, wrapping her arms around Liara's neck. "That's going to change, beautiful. We'll buy the ship from her soon enough."

Liara had made a decision. They were presented with an opportunity earlier in the day to finally break free from financial ties to Benezia. While speaking with her mother, the desire for independence became an immediate must. "Yes, we are. We are going to take that loan from Aethyta."

"I thought you didn't want to owe anyone? Not that I think it's a bad idea. I already told you that I think we should."

"The deal is more than fair and the interest rate is lower than a banker's loan." Liara smiled and leaned her head back into the comforts of Shepard's breasts. "And when we see Benezia on Illium, and she tells me to bring Shiala aboard her ship, I will explain to her that credits have been transferred to her account to cover the purchase and it belongs to me."

"And if she says it's not for sale? Do we need to look for a replacement ship?"

"She has no choice. When Shiala approved the purchase, ownership was put in my name with Benezia only controlling the lean on the vessel. Once I pay that amount, she has no recourse." Liara smiled, recalling what Aethyta's message to her mother had been. "And then she can go fuck herself."


End file.
